The whole "Elvis sighting" thing is hilarious because, like, the first documented career Elvis impersonators began working over twenty years before the guy even died. I wonder why a public figure who has a whole industry of people who look and sound like him would generate an unusual number of posthumous sightings? It Is A Mystery.

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

MIRRA ANDREEVA ROLAND GARROS 2026 CHAMPION . MIRRA ANDREEVA SLAM CHAMPION 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆

the women's final is going to be beautiful no matter what happens and the men's final is going to be like oh my god kill it kill it kill it

Every time I see that last pic, I have to note that the funniest line is the one immediately after the highlight

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

Soon enough the cigarette emoji 🚬 will go the same way as the real gun emoji and they will replace it with Blue Raspberry Ice Sour Fuck 9000 Disposable Vape

the part of adulthood that no one ever warns you about is the amount of surfaces you need to acquire to put your things and trinkets on

btw you will miss this in 5 or 10 years. memory will smooth these circumstances down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a shade of light or a moment of this particular innocence. you don't know about what happens next, and one day that will be the most alluring thing of all. don't leave it all for nostalgia. have a nice night now, whatever night it happens to be.