watch the queen conquer.

Donati - one of my youngest, that’s my biggest headache. Wants to run around with her brothers and sister and can barely catch up.   All ye can hear are her little feet stomping on the ground and then a loud wail when they don’t take her with them.  Please, too old - look at ye, ‘tis like you have not aged on bit.  How have ye been, Mar? Besides the pains of motherhood. 

Sounds like the opposite problem I have with Noah-- believes he is above playing with the others because he's thirteen now. Headaches I tell ye, headaches.

Did ye go wild in th’ sheets and got a few more runnin’ around here? I swear, it was almost as if an army was behind ye.

What? Iliana, please-- Half of the children are not even mine. 'Tis all very... complicated. But how have ye been?

Oh meu deus! Margaret! Sua Majestade, children. Bow… My dear friend, it has been so long… You look incredible… Control over these fools? The murderous glances, I’d say. Lizzie taught me a few… and if not that, then I am not sure. I think they fear me… How are your children, Mar? Are they well?

No, no, no bowing-- Ye know how I hate it. I look incredible? Ye look incredible. Haven't aged a day since we saw each other last. The murderous glances... Well, 'tis no wonder I cannot control them, considering the looks do not even work on their father. But they are all well, which is good. And yours-- Was that Declan I passed, earlier? When did he get so tall? Last I checked, we were celebrating his fourth birthday.

Penny! How ye manage to control your children is beyond me-- the only one that listens anymore is Livvy. Ye must teach me your ways.

Oh. Oh. Oh, I see. Fine, well, ye were always the smart one. I provide a handsome face and comic relief. Think that’s enough for me to contribute. Don’t you?

A very handsome face indeed... Though ye cannot underestimate yourself. Ye can be smart... Just not with languages. How ye survived in France all that time, I will never know.

That’s what I said! Is that not exactly what I said? Rap-kiki.

See, this is why I deal with all of the foreign diplomats-- ye'd mispronounce some word in their language and cause a war or something.

I did not make it up, I swear it. I remember it clear as day. Khari said something or other, then rap-kiki. It means friend. Aye, aren’t ye friends with that Empress? Shouldn’t you know?

Friend in Swahili? 'Tis rafiki, ye dobber.

Ah? Then what is it? Wow me. 

'Tis a word you made up because ye could not speak a foreign language properly, even if your life depended on it.

But, rap-kiki…

I told ye, rap-kiki is not a word.

I think mine rock back and forth between both, and I will tell you my secret on how I handle that — wine. Six? I thou—… Ay, hm. You are hilarious! Of course, si. Is Callum well? I would assume, but I just cannot stop myself from asking.

Is that your way of offering me some, because I will gladly take it. Of course, Cal is fine... Finally got the hang of ruling a country, I believe. Only took him a few years, but...

Bitting your tongue there aren’t you Margaret, last I recall your husband is as much of an idiot as I am. So that argument is null and void, but si I am happily married, to a wife who isn’t neurotic and controlling. That was the most refreshing change I must say. - Because imagine if I had to spend the rest of my life with you.. I would have found a way to end my life I’m sure. Kind of like I want to find a way now.. maybe I’ll find Lucrezia and insult her, si it’s much better than standing here and listening to your bitter ramblings.

Please, go right ahead-- Dinnae let me stop ye.

...Not today, Portier.

Si unfortunately that daughter of mine does nae do what I tell her. Told her to stay away from grimy little Scots. - And if I re-call you weren’t too beat up about our engagement ending.. weren’t you married like a week later? Si such a shame, trying to still make a man feel bad over something that mattered little to nothing. Women, you and your vindictive natures.

That marriage was not my choice, and ye know it. Though everything seems to have worked out for the best, aye? We are both happily married... And my children do not have to deal with having an idiot who likes to dress as a woman for their father.

They are all so beautiful anyhow, especially miss Livvy! Honestly, hungry and happy. I think I am starting to pass down my bad eating obsession to my children. I guess I can only blame myself, though. Ay, look at me now. I caught you right after I spotted the peaches. And how about you, m’lady?

Well, hungry little monsters are far better than wild little monsters-- they refuse to eat anything besides the things that make them energetic beyond belief. I blame their father. And as for me, I am doing quite well, despite the six children I now raise.