it's been a while. i can't believe i write so much and yet i didn't have any words for what i felt this past week.
i am genuinely so proud of Mark. when the shock of the announcement settled, it really hit me, the depth of what he chose for himself. it must have been an incredibly hard decision to come to. he grew up doing this. he did nothing but work for this day and night since he was a child. so to look back on his life and to decide to bow out so gracefully at his peak must have been very, very hard.
whatever he does from now on, i am waiting to see. i will forever miss his interactions with NCT. whatever pain we NCTzens suffered from this, i am sure the neos must have had it worse. they grew up with him, learnt from him, made him who he is. i hope i am able to see a new Mark, someone he can be authentically. i hope i get to see his dreams take shape in real time, and be there to cheer for him. if and when he decides to get back on stage, i will be there then as well.
as for all the wonderful people who left such sweet messages in my asks, thank you so much for checking in! i will try and get back to everyone in a few days.
i have been wondering what i shall do with this account. i haven't been very active on it these past years and yet i come back to such lovely messages and responses every time. but i wish to write with Mark for a long time. he is a daydream that is precious to me, and i want to indulge in the quiet peace he has made for us.
i do have to say, even after ten years, he still gives me so much to learn from. he is truly my dearest and most treasured muse.
as this curtain falls, i will still sit here in wait for him. when he returns to us, i will be sure to welcome him back as if he never left.
dailybridgerton
andulkaphoto
