I am iron deficient

Since I was a little kid, I've lived in a pretty conservative household. Ive alwayse been a little drawn to feminine things. I've alwayse known I was a boy, but feminine things made me more happy. My parents thought I would turn out gay if they let me play dress up and barbie with my sister. I always got in trouble whenever I was caught, which lead to verbal abuse from my dad. This caused me to develop toxic masculinity through my middle school - early high school years and made me lash out at others.

I'm okay now. I know who I am, and I'm here to say that I am a Femboy.

When I watched tadc, I related heavily to Jax as a character. The ending really touched my heart in a way that the internet calls "stupid" or "delusional" because I personally didn't interprete Jax for being trans myself. Now, lets get this out of the way. It's okay to think Jax is trans, femboy or whatever you wanna think about him. The only thing that matters is that his story spoke to you and made you feel seen. But if you call somone else stupid, idiotic or mentally retarded for not seeing eye to eye, you are missing the ENTIRE POINT of tadc!!!

The lesson that The Amazing Digital Circus was trying to teach is that you should be there for everyone. The worst thing that you can do to somone is make them feel like their unloved or unwanted. You can never know what somone is going through, even if they're being a complete dick about it.

Jax was a dick because he hated himself. He ran away from home because he thought he killed his mother. Jax shared somthing deep and personal with her, and she didn't accept him for it. When he got into the circus, he got close with Ribbit, but in a moment of vulnerability, he had told her about what had happened with his mom, but in doing so, had accidentally revealed that me might be more than just a boy. This scared Jax. He wasn't ready to be vulnerable yet, so he pushed her away and put his perfoemative mask on to ensure he's never vulnerable with anyone again out of fear that the cast wouldn't accept him for who he truely is. Because Jax had acted so strongly, Ribbit became guilty that she had pryed into his personal life. After an arguement between the two after Ribbit had attempted to fix things, she abstracted. After that, he made Ragitha promise to never talk about Ribbit again, and she agreed. Followed emedietly after, Gangle entered the circus. Jax was afraid she heard somthing, and didn't want her to tell anyone else, so he decided to torment her to suppress her as much as possible. Caufmo saw this. We dont know much about what happened after that, but it's safe to say thats when he and Caufmo stopped getting along. A while after, Caufmo found the exit door. After he likely explored it and failed to get out, he abstracted too. Everyone else who entered the circus after Ribbits abstraction has only known the performative side of Jax. Everyone else made it clear they hated Jax. Rightfully so. I mean, he's their primary cause of pain. Their abuser. But Pomni is the acception to that statement. She saw strait through him, and in turn, had achieved somthing everyone else had failed to do. She was there for him. She was *really* there for him in a way that even Ragatha couldn't get herself to. This of course made Jax uncomfortable. After they got closer, she had hugged him after successfully winning a game. The hug reminded him of his mother, and he roughly pushed her off of him, just like he did with her. That bried moment had reminded him of his priorities - to avoid vulnerability - which caused a violent outburst in attempt to push her away. But guess what Pomni didn't do. She didn't give up on him. Even when Caine was gone, even when nobody else cared, she still reached out.

The thing that hurts the most about all this is that Jax was going to abstract either way. There was no avoiding it. Jax was too stubborn to let anyone in after what he had done. He's guilty for causing his friends to abstract. He is guilty for others suffering. He is a horrible person. But even he was a good person at heart. Even people with the cruelest of intentions have parts of themselves that they are ashamed of, and they all have their moments of vulnerability. He doesn't deserve Pomni, but she was still there. When Pomni talked to him after he abstracted, it was only then when she was able to finally break through to him, because in reality, Jax had alwayse been hurting even more than everyone else in the circus. He wants to be loved, he wants to be accepted, he wants to be cared for.

Jax is a prime example of somthing that you should alwayse hold close to your heart. Kindness. The worst thing that you can do is make somone feel like their unloved or unwanted or useless. That is the lesson that tadc was trying to teach us. You know who failed to realize that? Anybody who made Gooseworx hate her job. Anyone who attacked anyone involved with Glitch productions. The Amazing Digital Circus, with all of its flaws, was coming from a very vulnerable part of Gooseworx's heart, and you know what some fans did? Crumpled it up, cut it open and fucking pissed on it.

As of now, we don't know for sure if he actually is trans or if its up to personal interpretation. If he *does* turn out being canonically trans, .. I dont reallt care! Thats okay, too. That might sound rude, but at the end of the day, it's just a show and isn't worth arguing about. We're all feeling some really strong emotions right now, and thats okay! Somthing that we can all agree on is that we loved the story, even if the ending failed to touch on other characters or plot points. Just keep kindness in mind, and don't make anyone feel bad for somthing as mineute as a silly internet series. Have fun with it and create a supportive community with your friends and random shit. Make a fucking Jax shrine. Just don't kill yourself and make sure nobody else is going to kill themselves either ❤️

Hey, this is a local reminder that we don't actually know if Jax is Trans. It was left up in the air for interpretation. Gooseworx, when asked if he was trans, said that maybe he is, maybe he isnt, while using he/him pronouns, which can of course either be her leaving it up for interpretation because of spoilers, or of course the other answer of him either being trans, not being trans, or being somthing inbetween. But at the end of the day, she of course left it ambiguous. (Of course, this post by summary is just saying that you can believe whatever you wanna believe without being hateful to anyone else.)

Stop calling me transphobic JUST BECAUSE I DON'T THINK HE'S TRANS.

At the end of the day, it is alwayse going to be nothing but a headcannon from a show.

Don't take it seriously. This isn't me trying to say he isn't Trans, I'm just a little frustrated. I guess this is what I get for interacting with the Digital Circus Fandom 🫩

Edit: For those who don't really understand my point, I am a man who struggled with toxic masculinity as a young adult because my parents thought I would turn out gay if I wasn't manly, so they called me a wus whenever I was vulnerable. This lead to me pretending to be fine, and to cope, I bullied others, which made Jax so relatable as a character to me. I mean, hell, I even had the same hair cut he did when we see his live action self in my junior year. But I can ALSO see how the story could also appeal to those who view him as transgender, because it can be taken either way. Just because his story touched my heart in a different way than yourself doesn't make me a "fandomite" or transphobic. It just means that his story touched our hearts in ways that mattered to us the most. So please, for the love of God, realize it is up for interpretation. God forbid I relate to a character for a different reason than others.

One last note, understand I am a real human being with real human emotions. Do not be hateful in my comments ~please.~ None of this should affect any of you to the point of privately messaging me and calling me a faggot and a bitch. My opinions are not trying to privately attack you and do not affect you directly.

Best thing yet, I didn't use ANY refrences!!! HE- HAHAHA- I'm going nuts... anyways, this is also for my AU, so enjoy this little scene depicting Jax abstracting! ...

Shockingly enough, The Amazing Digital Circus has reignited my artistic skills and I am back from the grave. Since im the most uncreative person known to man, I heavily refrenced from Spooky pop.

Idk what to call my AU, so if you have any ideas, please comment them with permission to mish mash the name into somthing else lol.

This is basically just an AU where Pomni goes back into Jax's head and fishes him out of the dark by getting him into a healthier state of mind, which took her WEEKS to do. In present time, Jax is still *technically* abstracted, but because of his odd state of mind, his code repaired itself enough with Pomni's help to take physical shape again. Because he is still unstable, touching him still causes glitching, and he still needs to stay in the dark or else he will go apeshit again.

He's thankfully not a dick anymore. Everyone is still upset with him (exept for Pomni and Ragitha), so he's basically in the same boat as Caine in that regard. Everybody still visits him every once in a while, but other than that, it's pretty quiet. Nobody else (other than Ragitha and Pomni) really knows what's going on with him, why he abstracted or why he was a dick, but they don't push because of his current state, which you can read about in the next paragraph. Pomni doesn't really use her room anymore because she wants to be there for Jax, because he is still very mentally unstable. She and Jax spend most of their time cuddling, and when nobody else is around, they talk.

Jax is now pretty quiet because his voice is a little glitched out when he speaks. When he is upset or feeling strong emotions, the little dark bits on his body spread and get more glitchy. He's getting better and better every day. He is now too mentally exausted to care about staying on guard, so he is free to be vulnerable. Because of that, he let's himself be vulnerable with Pomni via affection like nuzzling and cuddles and hugging etc, even though he doesn't actually like her (he likes Ribbet lol). He's just really touch starved, and it's a healthy way for him to cope. He is still in denial that he isn't real. Other than all of that, he's trying to get healthy and strong again so he isn't abstracted anymore so that he and everyone else can use this new knowledge that people can get un-absteacted for lack of a better word to fish out all other abstracted individuals.

To fans of tadc that kept making drama over stupid shit like Ragitha not being a "main character," digital circus coming to theaters or Caine dying... fuck you. You made goose hate a passion project she should be proud of. You have no right to be this entitled. I get your dissapointed about some things, but you dont need to take it out on the creator herself. It's okay to be dissapointed, but what isn't okay is saying that she is the problem for not changing the show on a whim for your own happiness.

To fans who watched the last act leaks and said it was bad, ...fuck you too. (This is just a matter of personal opinions.) You ALSO blew out the last bit of hope and passion she had for writing, on top of being just a gigantic buzz kill. Some kept whining on and on about how Jax ate up all of the screen time, but that was literally the point! He is a main character! He, Pomni and Caine were supposed to be the main focus of the show. Of course everyone else got development, but Jax, Pomni and Caine were the primary conduits for the story that goose was trying to tell. If you were dissapointed by the last act, I honestly cannot agree. I cried three times, I got goosebumps because of the incredible music composition and the relatable moments with Jax, I havn't been able to get Jax's death out of my head, and I couldn't stop shaking nearly an hour after I got out of theaters. I dont think there could have been a greater send-off for the show. Goose deserved to be proud of her work, but you decided to decimate it and completely disregard what she has done for indie animation. Most importantly, stories are supposed to make you feel somthing. That is exactly what last act has done.

Regarding the drama:

For most of the voice actors, I am not going to hold them accountable for somthing they did nearly a decade ago, especially because they have appolagized formally and said all they needed to on the topic. It's sort of the same thing for goose. She made edgy jokes a DECADE ago during a very different time with different norms. And no, she's not racist. That's already been dissproven. So by summary, I'm not gonna rip on somone they did a decade ago. I'm not just gonna hate on somone for saying somthing rude in the 5th grade when I get into junior year.

But even if that stuff was just as bad as people are making it out to be, I'm not supporting anybody directly, I would be supporting Glitch because they have done god's work for the indie animation scene. I do not at all support racism or homophobia or anything like that.