How would Mark and his variants react to you getting drunk?
[Reference sheet for each variant!]
[Suggestive material below – reader discretion is advised]
Main!Mark would try to play it off like he thought it was funny, but deep inside he’d be kind of freaking out. He wants everyone in his life to be on guard because the universe is fucked, and he can’t be there to protect everyone at every moment of the day. But, at the same time, he knows that you deserve to cut loose and have fun sometimes and the last thing he wants to do is put his fears and burdens on you. So instead he’s half laughing at your drunken antics while doing a full perimeter check every few minutes. Poor man.
Viltrumite!Mark is confused at first. He’s never seen someone drunk before. His people don’t really have the metabolism to get inebriated, and he’s never spent enough time around any other species to see this kind of behavior. Once you explain to him that you are intentionally intoxicated, he goes through several stages of reactions. Judgement. Annoyance. Curiosity. Then finally, genuine amusement. He’s trying to maintain his stoic composure but can’t help but try to mess with you in subtle ways. Like dropping something and asking you to pick it up just to watch you fumble and fall and insist you can get it without help. Yeah. He’s entertained.
Lensless!Mark is searching the entire universe and threatening every scientist known to man to get him something that will allow him to get drunk, too. You look like you’re having so much fun! He wants to be a part of that too. And if he can’t find a way to get liquored up then his own natural crazy endorphins will have to do. He cranks them up to ten (the man has control over his insanity like most people have control of their composure) and starts encouraging you do to the most insane things with him. Drinking and flying is absolutely on the list, and you’re too fucked up to think about how stupidly dangerous it is. This man’s a menace.
Sinister!Mark initially is annoyed, but once he realizes how suggestable and easily manipulated you are in this state, he’s all in. To everyone’s surprise though, he doesn’t get violent. No no, this man gets sexual. He’s getting you to do things you’re normally too shy or prideful to do. He’s bringing out rope and whips and handcuffs. He’s contorting you into positions that you’d normally complain about, but tonight you’re just giggling. The spark in his eyes would leave a sane person scared. But you’re not sane right now. And he left his sanity behind a long time ago. Sinister might be pouring you drinks more often after tonight.
Omni!Mark genuinely doesn’t approve, and you know it. So, you try to hide it. But the hiccups keep slipping out, and your stare is glazed over, and you’ve suddenly acquired the memory span of a goldfish. He asks you outright. “Are you drunk right now?” You just stare back with wide eyes. Your brain like a hamster on a wheel trying to think of a believable lie to hand him. He just rolls his eyes and forces you into bed. As irritated as he is, you’re his mess, and he’ll be damned if you embarrass him outside of that house. Besides, drunk you won't remember how much he lets himself enjoy cuddling you.
Shiesty!Mark is over the moon. If any of the Mark’s can get their hands on Viltrumite-grade alcohol, it’s him. And my man stays with a drink in hand (call him Julian [anyone get the reference??]). He’s grinning that smooth smile, all pretty and looking at you like he’s been praying for this moment all his life. He sits back on a sofa, arms draped over the back, and gestures vaguely in front of him in an open invitation for you. And you know him well enough to know exactly what he’s asking for and for once, you’re more than happy to oblige. You dance for him in a way that’s less than elegant, but the commitment is to be commended. And honestly, it’s the most perfect thing he’s witness in his life. Because it’s you.
Prisoner!Mark likes that you feel comfortable enough around him to get intoxicated like this. He would never join you – not that he’d know how to even if he wanted to – because with your inhibitions lowered keeping you safe becomes a Def Con Level 1 priority. But he’s intentional about not letting you see how on alert he is, because he wants you to enjoy yourself. Your openness in fact encourages him to tell you stories about his time in the Viltrumite prison – something he’s never told you before. He’s sure to keep them on the lighter side though (if anything that happens in that hell hole could be described as light). But seeing you loose makes him want to be a little looser too.
Mohawk!Mark is far too pleased with this situation. He’s teasing you relentlessly. “No way – goody two-shoes actually knows how to get fucked up?” Like the reckless man he is, he’s pushing the limits of your tolerance. Handing you drink after drink, shot after shot, zeroed in on every little stage and change he sees in you. Your nonsensical rambling is hilarious to him, and honestly kind of adorable. He lets himself soften a bit, a rare thing for him, because he knows you won't remember it in the morning and being tender is his own kind of intoxication. The drunker you get, the gentler he becomes until at the end of the night he has you tucked in bed with a glass of water on standby. He loves you dammit. You’ll just never remember.
Retro!Mark is aghast. This is not how a proper adult conducts themselves. He’s seeing a side of you he didn’t know existed and quite frankly, he’s not pleased. He’s ushering you away from any public prying eyes. The last thing he needs is some lowlife schlub thinking you’re easy just because you’re acting foolish. I mean, what are you wanting right now? For him to make a massacre of this bar? For him to rip the intestines from the bartender for not realizing one drink was one too many when it came to you? He gets you on lock down and tries his best not to crack a smile at the way you sing his name and look at him like he put the stars in the sky.
Emperor!Mark surprisingly gets it. He runs an empire. Wine and alcohol flow like a river around that place. He’s never had the luxury of getting sloshed, but he doesn’t mind if you do. He likes seeing you happy, and he knows no one would be stupid enough to step to you and try something out of pocket. In fact, he loves how bold you get. The way you really lean into the “royalty” mentality. Bossing people around (even if you’re giggling afterward) and calling shots like you were born for that lifestyle. He loves it even more when you try to assert dominance on someone and they give a sort of resistance, and all you do is look back over your shoulder at him because you know he’ll handle the rest. And trust, he does. With much pleasure.
Full-Mask!Mark feels a kind of warmth seeing you cut loose so much. He’s so used to being weighed down internally with the shitty cards of life. His mind is cesspool of horror, and normally you try to be so soft and somber with him, like you’re scared any other emotion won’t register correctly. But he knows his heaviness is his own to carry and not yours. So seeing you finally unwind, laugh openly, act silly – he truly relishes in the moment. He’s playing along with any ridiculous game you might want to play and not calling you out when your stories don’t make sense or you forget midsentence what you were talking about. You’re happy. And that means everything to him.
Melee!Mark is probably the best match to your energy on nights like this. You both are typically well-disciplined people. You know how to have fun, no doubt, but you also are both in the mindset of keeping your wits about you. That kind of comes with the territory of living in the universe that you do. But every once in a while, a night of pure release, fun, and relaxation is exactly what is called for. He’s not as privy to the intergalactic alcohol market as Mohawk, Shiesty, or Lensless might be so the chances of him getting drunk with you are pretty slim, but he still finds ways relax fully into the moment. It feels like a night of two drunk college kids on spring break, even if only one of you will properly remember what transpired the next morning.
