The Time Is Now

every semicolon i’ve ever used has been a shot in the dark

Semicolon use is actually quite simple; semicolons separate two complete, related sentences.

cool; bro

customers wanna be right soooo bad. like damn go clock in since u know so much

dont lie to yourselves this IS as digusting as it sounds and these people had sex with these girls probably at the age they met them… maximum a year after.. not EVEN a couple years

I found this Youtube channel run by a Japanese chef and it’s actually better than porn? First all all his cinematography is off the charts. Youtube videos have no business looking that good. Second of all, everything he makes looks SO TASTY, and he explains the recipes in such a simple, soothing, manner. Third off all, he does this all while his two adorable kitties watch??? Like… they are so intent on what hes doing but they never run around or hop on the counter???? He has a stool for them to sit on as he makes his recipes Im gunna die

he and his (American) wife have a youtube vlogging channel all about being an international couple and they have thREE CATS THAT HE COOKS WITH

You should see the video where he restores a knife…

poki sounds like my cat jasper

how did he film such a lovely video by candlelight? i’m impressed! also it’s so restful, and he has beautiful hands, and the kitties are so cute. it made my morning. thank you for sharing.

My terrible trash cat finally graduates to being in cooking videos <3 Im so proud of him <3

but the real question is how did chidi get so ripped? bench pressing humanities’ collective sins and moral failures???

he went to the gym but couldn’t decide which exercise machine to use so he used all of them

im just out here trying to eat fruit and stay moisturized and drink water and recover from childhood trauma and protect my vibes, man

i couldnt survive in a sitcom

so many characters are just dicks for absolutely no reason and i would. simply have to punch them. the way people treat each other in like every single sitcom makes me so angry and i would be on full punch mode all the time and go to comedy jail

I need you to know that I would emphatically and without question pay real human dollars to watch a season of ‘Friends’ where you appear to routinely beat the shit out of Ross Geller

literally who could ever hope to match magnetos level of iconicness…. pulling the iron out of a mans very BLOOD then making it into a fucking platform to stand on as he levitates his way across thin air while spinning more iron orbs around him for absoultely no reason…. the panache. the performance. the drama. could you get any gayer