m a r i e l ♥

Passive aggressive thank yous 

Inside joke acknowledgements

Jokes in footnotes

Unacknowledged puns

Saucy comments like “as much as researchers would like this to be the case..”

Random trivia in footnotes

Unnecessary appendices (songs listened to while writing, lists of weird historical events, etc)

Citations of yourself, because goals

Unnecessary citations of your academic friends 

Song lyric quotes in italics as chapter openings

Breaking News:

The Nobel Prize in Physics for 2018 has been awarded to Arthur Ashkin, Gerard Mourou and Donna Strickland “for groundbreaking inventions in the field of laser physics”.

Donna Strickland is the first woman to win the Nobel Prize in Physics in 55 years.

Nobel Laureate Arthur Ashkin has been awarded the #NobelPrize in Physics “for the optical tweezers and their application to biological systems.”

Nobel Laureates Gérard Mourou and Donna Strickland have been awarded the #NobelPrize in Physics “for their method of generating high-intensity, ultra-short optical pulses.”

Article here with more information about their work:

me, typing up a proposal:

Nature: 90% whatever’s hot in bio right now, 10% other

Science: 2 pages of a really cool story, 50 pages of supplement

Cell: your entire dissertation edited down to 20 unreadable pages

PNAS: papers Academy members couldn’t get into better journals

PLOS one: papers non Academy members couldn’t get into better journals, but open source

eLife: papers people couldn’t get into PLOS one

Nature [insert field]: research that isn’t hot enough for Nature

Physical Chemistry Chemical Physics: we couldn’t decide if we were one field or two

JACS: chemistry you’re pretty sure is cool but honestly you’re not sure you understand

Angewante Chemie: JACS but German

Advances in Physics: scientific journals: a statistical approach

Astrophysical Journal: not nearly enough pictures of space

there aren’t enough hours in a day!!!

…did i… forget to do something… 

i don’t get paid enough for this

i’m so tired i’m so tired i’m so

coffee! coffee…

what i wouldn’t give for a nap right now

shit i totally forgot to do that!

i have no idea what i’m doing

i have no idea what’s going on in this seminar either

do i even belong here. what if this was all a MISTAKE

you know what sounds good right now. booze.

and caffeine

caffeinated booze?? 

this is fine. 

no it’s not

i reallllly don’t get paid enough for this

just read the syllabus just READ THE SYLLABUS

….shit! i forgot to do the thing. again. 

fuuuuuuuuu

uuugghhhhhhhhhhh

bblllleleeegghghghghgg

ok.. sometimes what i do is pretty neat.