Being a mom and an anarchist and trying to figure out the whole "parenting" song and dance from that perspective makes me think 8-year-olds have about got it figured out. I hate school. I hate tests. I hate bedtime.
No like here’s the thing: children are an oppressed class. I mean that 100% sincerely. Children m are an oppressed class. They quite literally do not have the right to be free human beings.
Reposting from my twitter here, but: you wouldn't prevent an adult from speaking to their friend or eating when they were hungry. In your personal life that's abusive behavior, in the work sphere a suppression of workers' rights. Other places these rights are violated include: prison.
In Education and Peace, Maria Montessori describes the culture of war and identifies it as originating, on a personal level, in the struggle between the adult and the child that begins as soon as the child is born. This is the very first conflict. The adult subjects the child to their own wants and needs and completely disregards the needs, development and personhood of the child. This struggle continues throughout childhood, between both parents and children and other adults and children:
“Both the adult and the child are unaware of their own characteristic natures. They fight one another in a secret struggle that has gone on for countless generations and is becoming more violent today in our complicated and nerve-racking culture. The adult defeats the child; and once the child reaches adulthood the characteristic signs of the peace that is only an aftermath of war—destruction on one hand and painful adjustment on the other—remain with him for the rest of his life.”
This conflict positions children and adults relative to each other as two distinct classes, one with power and one without. Of course, there are other conflicts at play here—race is a huge one, gender another. And that’s not to say children can’t have power over parents, etc. But one of the most fundamental class conflicts is between adults and children.
Children exist in a state of war from day one. Their environment is completely unsuitable to them; they’re treated as if that’s their fault. They’ve literally been alive for less than a decade. Any action they take is done as a result of class conflict.
I vibe so hard w/ this
I work in childcare and multiple parents have been MYSTIFIED that I’m able to handle their “difficult” children (this includes both neurodivergent children and children who are just rude/mean/violent) and it’s impossible to get them to understand that 90% of the average kid’s behaviour “problems” are just frustration at having a lack of autonomy in their own lives. Some kids do have complicated problems, yes, but so many parents are confused by perfectly understandable reactions! Of course your child is acting out; they have no self-determination or right to their own resources and it’s the only avenue they have left to assert themselves! Of course your child just yelled at you and stormed off -- you were just bullying them! I heard you doing it! They were responding extremely reasonably to being bullied!
I swear half the people in this world -- including those who live with these kids 24-7 -- somehow manage to forget or conveniently ignore that kids are, in fact, people, and will act like people in response to situations.
there is no reason a child should not be able to eat when theyre hungry and not eat things they dislike. if they dont like vegetables then teach them how to make it a way they do like. if you wouldnt yell at and hit your grandparents for not finishing their plate why would you do that to a child. they learn from you, not from what goes through your head while you punish them.
I gotta say the notes on this post have been really heartening b/c "Children are people and not property" has historically been one of my more controversial opinions
