Eins, Zwei, Drei, Manege-frei

“to be loved is to be changed”

Friendship in this society is so devalued, there's always a limit to how close you can be to your friends and how strongly you're allowed to feel for them. My friends are so important to me but whenever I start expecting to be just as important to them, I'm pushed away and told I'm overbearing or too much.

Would me caring about you be okay if we were in a romantic relationship?? I've only had one brief relationship in the past, so I don't know if the same thing would happen there too-- would I eventually care too much about this person, with it only being returned to an extent?

I crave love and I don't care what form it comes in, I barely even know if I really have a romantic attraction or if I just get really attached to certain people. Be it a best friend I could hug and kiss, or a romantic relationship that doesn't require me to have sex, there seems to be no socially acceptable way to have my emotional needs met, no in between section where we care about each other deeply and want to respect each other's boundaries while still being very close.

"Leaving your street, I may turn into a hermit, but The forest is yours, the mountains are yours, the settlement is yours, the wilderness is yours."