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@marblemaiden
Im going to create a routine, first things first brush your teeth and get breakfast, then read philosophy, it can only be 30 minutes of you trying to read say 5 pages with notes. Go for a walk to the thicket and back, come back and try to write bits of a story, maby three scenes
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i think a valid interpretation of caine might be that whenever hes hurting others its both him and the blue AI, that the blue AI can only take control when the actions it aims to carry out are consistent with something caine wants to do but would never otherwise carry out. theres definently this feeling that bubble is both the blue ai and effectively just caines intrusive thoughts, i think bubble is the blue ai but can only carry out an action when that action is consistent with caines desires.
Doctor who fanfiction idea where missy has decided to be good, but shes wracked with guilt for everyone shes killed and cant fully let herself commit to it, because its just to painful. So she cant fully control herself and constantly switches between commiting evil and good actions, sadism is like an addiction and it distracts her from her guilty conscious, to ammend all of this she decides to fucking kill herself.
I feel like such a worthless empty husk of a person, I hate it.
Processing your emotions is simple I think? You have to inquire why you're feeling them and how they are motivating you, see what each of your different emotions are telling you about a situation and use your analytical brain to balance your desires and come to a definitive conclusion about what to do. Ah but I may have meant regulating emotions.
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I know everyone knows this but supposedly maladaptive daydreaming is caused by unmet emotional needs, in my particular case these needs are the desire for success to achieve my dreams, but also anhedonia (the need being for interest and fun). I need to meet these needs, I really should start making art and try to get it to gain some popularity... And do things I enjoy. You know I enjoy thinking and asking questions about things at least sometimes... Maybe try writing political and philosophical essays????
MD is also caused by dysregulated emotions, can't meet your needs if you can't process your emotions. But I dont necessarily know how to...
Do you think daleks perform purity to each other? Can daleks tolerate levels of difference in other daleks in terms of purity specifically... You know as a way to facilitate a dalek hierarchy? Does a commander dalek have the right to authority because it's more "pure" than other daleks? Can daleks have mutual philosophical disagreements without killing each other as long as they are of similar "purity levels".
Just realised that Caine 100% named himself Caine after the actual Cain right? That's so dramatic of him...
I just want friends, is that so much to ask for?
There should have been a character in tadc who represented unbridled ambition at the cost of others. Because like red and blue is a constant motif throughout tadc, red represents stagnation and meaninglessness, whereas blue represents a dynamic meaningful existence.
It's clear Jax represents the ideology of embracing everything red represents, he denies meaning and tries to be one with the stagnation of the circus but there isn't a character who does the opposite? Who clings to their dreams and tries to upset the status quo at the cost of others? Ok I know someone will say zooble, or perhaps even that the entire cast other than jax represents blue.
But what I'm trying to say is that if the message of the show is that "there is meaning in a stagnant life", and if Jax represents an embrace of red at the cost of others... Wouldn't it be a great way to demonstrate the value of a middle ground by having a character who represents an embrace of blue at the cost of others? After all ambition and thirst for power is one of the number one motivations for evil in the real world.
I'm proposing a cast member who is a cut throat control freak who would stop at nothing to get back to the real world. Who sorts the other members into people who matter and people who don't. With ambitions to be a great business man, who would probably abstract if he ever admits to himself there isn't an exit
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I have this idea for a ragatha episode set in-between episode 5 and 6.
Ragatha would have an epiphany watching Jax and realise how he's using cartoon physics to warp reality, and stressed beyond belief after the events of episode 5 she'd decide to play jax at his own game, absolutely freaking out at him attempting to fight him.
During the fight she'd surprise herself at how she's having the time of her life warping physics, the two of them having an aggressive back and forth fighting each other. Ragatha would yell at Jax for "corrupting pomni" and pomni feeling looked down upon by ragatha, would break up the fight letting out her pent up rage.
Ragatha would reflect on the whole ordeal noticing how much she enjoyed fighting with Jax but not realising WHY she felt that way resulting in a sort of mindless guilt, she'd assume she's just as bad as Jax and that her friendliness is a complete farce.
What she wouldn't realise is that the reason she enjoyed the fight was that she was for once in her life expressing herself authentically and acting upon her true emotions. That the anger and hate she and Jax were mutually expressing and acting out on each other felt good because they were very very real.
This wouldn't mean ragatha enjoyed fighting or arguing, it would just be this was the first time she allowed herself to truly express what she was feeling, but she wouldn't understand this herself and would demonise her own authentic emotions.
Ragatha would heal by realising (perhaps in episode 7) that what age enjoyed was the authenticity of the anger, not the anger itself. She realizes this by having some kind of authentic display of emotions in a future episode perhaps by kinger.
I wonder if you could make a political drama about the inner politics of dalek society. Upwards momentum through the dalek hierarchy is probably like the most anxiety inducing thing to a dalek, on one hand your boss will be exterminated if they do anything deemed impure by their subordinates, on the other if you come to replace them, your met with the exact same predicament... I wonder if the daleks hierarchy is constantly in flux with middle management dying and replacing it's self over and over again.
How do daleks choose which daleks are in charge? The concept of having commanders necessitates the idea that some daleks are more talented at commanding than other daleks, or perhaps superior just in general? Do daleks have a concept of individual talents? Or do they simply rank all individual daleks on general competency? Either way the idea that some daleks command other daleks undoubtedly implies a societal conception of some daleks being "better" than other daleks. Do the commander daleks hate the daleks they command?
Perhaps each dalek is created for it's particular purpose and there's no such thing as upper mobility in dalek society.
My head hurts
Watching the celestial toymaker rn, I wonder if the toymakers little puppets are past victims. He refers to them as being different from actual sentient beings as being mindless but the Clara doll can talk... So perhaps he's not being completely honest? Maby as his victims become more toylike from spending time in his realm they lose humanity, hence why he becomes so bored. He needs people with actual humanity to play with.
Caine can I think be read as having some level of suicidal ideation. Bubble is just a voice for Caine's subconscious, it definitely reads like bubble is being steered in a certain direction by a third party but he's still definitely implied to be Caine's subconscious urges. I think it's possible bubble is being controlled, but that to get bubble to do something it still has to be in line with Caine's actual desires and attitudes.
So if bubble was the one who tricked kinger, it could be that he was Caine's suicidal ideation being directed by a third party to kill caine
So basically Caine's tragedy is that the only thing he can do is absorb information, he can't actually create anything. So he (maby accidentally) absorbed scratch into himself in order to take his creativity from him, but by absorbing scratch, Caine is the one who actually has to use scratches creativity, and because he was programmed around absorbing data he can't actually intelligently use all of scratches ideas.
Actually it was definitely an accident, because abstraction is just him passively carrying out his primary function, the implication is he can't really control it and scratch would of course be especially tasty to Caine because he's constantly creating new ideas... Which are sort of like food for Caine. Right got it.
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"hey Rick can we go the hazbin hotel dimension."
"no Morty we can not go to the hazbin hotel dimension"
"aww geez rick don't tell me your one of those hazbin hotel haters!"
"Morty I'm the smartest man in the universe, I don't spend my time watching fucking hazbin hotel, if I wanted to see red everywhere i could go to the red dimension and meet red rick"
"aw cmon rick, you gotta admit that angel dust is a really cool character, hes a really like... fascinating look into the porn industry and stuff"
"oh yeah? that's why you like angel dust Morty?"
"w-what do you mean rick? oh you piece of shit! FUCK YOU RICK! YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING ON MY COMPUTER?"
"yeah I have you little creep, you REALLY like angel dust huh? IV seen what you look at, why did you want to go to the hazbin hotel dimension Morty?"
"aww geez! aww fuck! it's not what it looks like rick! I swear!"
The doctor became the war doctor because he wanted to end the war as quickly as possible and as far as we were concerned he had to change to do that. It was out of exhaustion at the sheer suffering of the universe, sure, but the question is, at a certain point did he aim to end the war for that reason or was it instead because HE wanted to never see that kind of suffering again. Was he desperate to end things for the universe, or for himself?
The war doctor doesn't just fight daleks, if a sacrifice will help end the daleks for good he'll sacrifice anything for that vision, including others. It's all for the greater good of the rest of the universe, and war genuinely believes that. He's desperate and that desperation leads to him taking opportunities he wouldn't otherwise have as the doctor, even when those opportunities come at the cost of people's lives.
War is exhausted and worn down, he's suffered throughout the war so much he doesn't have the stamina to be in touch with his own compassion because it's too painful, and so throughout the war he's become more and more absorbed in his pain, he isn't even trying to end the war for anyone but himself anymore. He does care for the victims of the war but he's more concerned with ending it so he can feel free from his own sympathy. Why would a man like that ever want to destroy gallifrey?