I run this ship

CLICK

I used to be catholic and as a kid I was even an altar server. I didn't do just morning and sunday mass, but weddings and funerals too. I SOBBED at every funeral I did and they eventually stopped asking me to serve.

I didn't know the person or the family, but as a kid I just felt too much and was too sad and I took my part in their last ceremony as too much of an honor and I thought about that person being locked in a box forever and I broke.

I learned early that death was forever and soon I was going to be in that box, my mom would be in that box, my whole world would be in that box.

The power of music, my friends, is not to be dismissed. DH and I were both feeling terrible yesterday when we went to the Alice Cooper and Halestorm concert, him from treatment, me from being heartsick. By the time we left we both had steel back in our spines and a fuck you smile on our lips. She reminded us that we're down but we're not out, we'll forever be the last ones standing.

I pretended that I was going to meet the band that night and I wondered what I would even say to them that wouldn't come out sounding stupid and cliche. If I didn't break down crying from excitement first I think I would tell them all Thank You.

Lzzy will never see this, but:

Thank you. Thank you for being a badass babe, a fucking legendary female rock star. Thank you for your beautiful siren scream that shreds my demons and brings me peace. Thank you for being you as loud as you possibly can and thank you for overcoming all the stupid sexism that stood in your way and for never giving up. Thank you for the community you cultivate at your concerts: so many fucking women with beautiful dark lipstick headbanging and screaming their hearts out as you just WAIL on your guitar. If theres a church its your rocknroll, and if there's a heaven it's a concert hall and it's serving beer.

The internet says prognosis isn't good, and that most ppl with Stage 4 barely live for another year.

I'm terrified and in disbelief. He's been getting so much stronger, and I cannot see this killing him so soon. There are stories everywhere of cancer victims beating the odds and I have to believe that will be us.

She was hit by a tractor trailer on the southbound side of the road. The northbound side was closed for the race, and the investigation into why she left the safety zone is ongoing.

She knew better than to cross the double yellow line. Why was she on the wrong side of the road? She knew better, she did.

The last fucking post she made was a picture of her bike in transition.

"Can't wait to see what this race has in store for me!"

20 miles a week means I either do five 4 mile runs, or I can do two longer runs with a couple short run mixed in for recovery. Either way the daily mileage is never enough for me to justify skipping it. Can't say I'm too tired or it's too late or it's too hot to run because I know I can do 3-4 miles in my sleep.

That being said, while each run itself isn't too taxing, the increased frequency is reminding me just how lax I've been this year XD

Breakfast was dope!! Here is the before picture, no after picture bc its already in my belly ❤

Chopped up some garden green tomatoes and tossed them with cornmeal, flour, and Italian seasoning; threw it in a pan to slow fry while I sliced the green pepper into strips. Sauteed the pepper with garlic, salt, pepper and plated next to my tomato hash. Topped it with two over easy eggs and green onions.

A girl named Bree is there and we are in PERFECT sync, our track splits are the same and we do every repeat together. Bree drives 45 minutes to an hour from her job to come to these workouts and hasn't missed one yet. So my excuse of no time is also gone.

There's also now a "spotty attendance" challenge between me and Donny, who also wasnt attending the run sessions. The challenge is to attend every July track workout, and I dont plan on punking out.

I'm done with feeling angry, bitter, exhausted, and anxious.