a series of misfortunes

[ID: A screenshot of Cabby from Inanimate Insanity during the episode Snapshot Showdown. She has her eyes closed with one hand on her "hip" and the other pointing up. The captions read:

"Sure thing Goo! ..."

End ID.]

Still friendly, still helpful! She does question Goo's motivations of needing such a specific file, but still gives it to him despite her uncertainty... which, if anything, is still similar to how she came to be later on? I think about how much in later S3 she'd done things she was uncertain about, even outright self-sacrificing often; it's not all that different from some things she had done early on, just taken to an extreme degree.

[ID: A screenshot of Cabby and Bot from Inanimate Insanity during the episode The Overthinkers. Bot is visibly pre-transition. They are standing in Cabby's drawer, appearing angry as they scold her. The captions read:

"is a BAD VIBE!"

End ID.]

Like... as another example, I think about this scene often. Cabby was already struggling with carrying herself up, and she takes up more weight to help Bot up. She doesn't complain to her teammates about struggling and she doesn't say anything against Bot when they yell at her. It's such a subtle thing, and there are several incidents early on where Cabby does speak up once she feels more wronged, but what happened here makes a lot of sense knowing what this mindset grew into later.

I wonder a little what the difference could be here compared to other moments where Cabby did say something back. Was it because of Bot seeming more scared? Was she just too shocked by their outburst? I don't think she even carries anybody in her drawer after this until Friend or Froze, so did she think she'd done something wrong? It's evidently not something she even held against them given the fact she helped them a couple episodes later, so I just like to wonder.

Side note: I think it's really interesting that the particular file she wanted Silver Spoon to update was about good manners. I wonder sometimes if this was out of concern for how she came across, knowing how things went a couple episodes ago.

[ID: A screenshot of Cabby and Test Tube from Inanimate Insanity during the episode Tragedy at 60 Feet. Both appear worried. Cabby is holding her hands over her drawer as she speaks. The captions read:

"We are so so sorry Box, for our mishandling of the situation."

End ID.]

Even here, Cabby is the one to initiate an apology, when like... I don't want to say she had absolutely zero accountability in this argument, because she was biting back against Test Tube in it and that ultimately is what led to her final outburst, but Test Tube I would say was the one who was actually responsible for what happened to Box. She turned it into an argument by insulting Cabby, she was the one who was about to be violent by marching up to Cabby with a hammer, and she was the one who let go of the hammer in the first place. Cabby was ultimately not even close to the main one responsible, arguably targeted in several ways if anything... and yet, she's the one apologizing. Cabby takes responsibility, Cabby makes it right.

Again, part of that pattern that would turn into something so much worse on her later.

[ID: A screenshot of Cabby and Test Tube from Inanimate Insanity during the episode Best Served Cold. Cabby is holding Test Tube's file in one hand and giving Silver Spoon's file to her in the other. Cabby is happy, though Test Tube appears more uncertain. The captions for Cabby's dialogue read:

"I'll go press the button, I need you to use this information and convince the others."

End ID.]

Best Served Cold is so tragic to me. It's Cabby at her last thread of patience, so she's more visibly on edge and doing more questionable things because of it. As a result, others miss when she's still being kind elsewhere, and this scene is one of the saddest examples of that.

There's a lot I could hypothetically get into here with how much she trusts Test Tube here, viewing her as a friend who will now be there for her no matter what and understand her, understand what she thinks for once... but something that always sticks out to me is how she gives Test Tube what's normally her job. She is willing to designate herself to this tiny, unimportant job just so Test Tube can feel important.

[ID: A screenshot of Cabby and Test Tube from Inanimate Insanity during the episode Best Served Cold. Cabby holds onto Test Tube with one arm as she closes her eyes and smiles, offering reassurance. Test Tube is holding Silver Spoon's file as she smiles, though her raised eyebrow indicates this is not wholly genuine. The captions for Cabby's dialogue read:

"and I value that a lot, Test Tube."

End ID.]

I think she holds a lot of regret for the past arguments she had with Test Tube, discrediting her intelligence in Episode 2 and what went on in general during Episode 5. She already apologized, but she still wants to make it up to her and show how much she cares for her. It is something Cabby would see herself wanting in such a situation, and so she assumes Test Tube would want it, too.

It's such a sweet gesture to me, knowing how seriously Cabby takes her role with being such a big team player and how dearly she values her files. It then becomes so sad when you put it into the perspective of that argument over the egg challenge. She still blames herself for that argument, and so she tries to make it better by ensuring Test Tube takes her job, her level of importance, knowing Test Tube is in the spotlight while Cabby is unimportant. Self-sacrificial.

This proceeds to all get completely misinterpreted by Test Tube, who lies about being able to be trusted and turns everyone else against Cabby, painting her as a villain looking to tear everyone down.

[ID: A screenshot of Cabby from Inanimate Insanity during the episode Best Served Cold. She is upset, holding her hands up to herself as she speaks. The captions read:

"That was not my intention! It's..."

End ID.]

Cabby does eventually have an outburst against Bot in an attempt to get some closure after all of this, but it's so... depressing, seeing her desperately try to defend herself before then. She doesn't know how to. Not without revealing her disability, and things get even harder when even her manner of speech ("keeping your history alive") gets misinterpreted and responded to with a snarky comeback.

Her entire sense of trust had been shattered just as things maybe began looking up for her, when she finally thought she had somebody. She is told she is doing things wrong, and she tries to prove otherwise, but she can't. So maybe she is wrong and bad, maybe she's really all these things people are saying about her, but what is it that they hate so badly about her?

[ID: A screenshot of a transcript. It reads:

Cabby: If I did nothing wrong... I wouldn't be here right now, would I? I know I'm wrong! And I wanna figure out how to win people over.

And you know what? I think this ominous island is just the place to start figuring it out.

Yeah. This is exactly where I need to be right now.

End ID.]

I think this part of her exit interview sums up how she perceives the situation up to that point well.

She needs to be appreciated for what she does, she needs to win people over. But she isn't appreciated, and everyone hates her. If she was doing everything right, why would she be punished so harshly? There must be something she was doing!

I don't think she even had a clear idea of whatever she was "doing wrong" in the first place; at least nothing besides the fact it had something to do with her files, which she now feels guilty for. The idea that maybe this was all wholly unjustified, that she hadn't done anything to deserve this just... doesn't occur to her. Her mindset is built to fawn in hopes she will someday finally be loved.

[ID: A screenshot of Cabby from Inanimate Insanity during the episode I Am Chocolate!. She is gold colored. She appears upset, holding the immunity cookie close to her as she looks to the side. The captions read:

"Oh... I'm not sure if I... Deserve. All that."

End ID.]

She is moody for most of the first half of this episode, pushing others away and giving up for just a bit on her people-pleasing tendencies, now blunter and angrier... and it's so depressing to watch knowing how this is based in fear because others around her are not to be trusted. It's not how she normally is, and her immediate shift after winning indicates that.

Once she does find someone to bond with and proceeds to win the challenge, getting the sense maybe others can be trusted, she quickly reverts back to fawning. She assumes everyone will be disappointed in her for winning at all, is shocked to see others have that team spirit she had before her elimination, and believes she is undeserving of this support. Still, she does accept it, knowing these people at least seem to be safe and genuine, and says she'll try her best.

Then her rejoin fully settles in, and... well, it's pretty evident what her arc became by that point. Constantly fawning, constantly trying to apologize, to make up for her very existence with how bad she must apparently be in hopes others will finally be there for her...

I think this is a good spot to begin closing this analysis, because it's not meant to show how Cabby is across the entire show, or even all of Season 3. I think it's just interesting to show more of how she was before her elimination, how she was even from the start, and why I think it's, if anything, inevitable that she would've began coping with severe enough mistreatment in this way.