mel’s inspo corner

Shoutout to people with mental illnesses who can’t work or study, there’s nothing shameful about your situation.

-women being masculine

- people not wanting to have sex and/or romantic relationships

- fat people being able to exist in public and get proper medical care

- no makeup or high heels required for employment

- people not knowing how to speak English

- the concept of people of colour in positions of power and high levels of education

- assault victims being believed and treated with compassion

This is so true. I’ve literally taken up all of the available office hours, and then some, before with a prof because something just wasn’t clicking. 

Even now with the pandemic, being in wildly different time zones with my current maths prof (it’s almost day and night sort of thing) my prof comes THROUGH for me and all my stupid questions. 

21/06 // [1/100 days of productivity]

ok, it’s happening, i’m starting my own studyblr, and, as you can see, i’m challenging myself to be productive on HOLIDAY (crazy, right) here are some bits and pieces of my bullet journal - i adore how it turned out 

wish me luck!

「  𝟎𝟑𝟎𝟏𝟐𝟎  」

I’m “bad at” working on long-term projects without an imminent deadline or someone breathing down my neck? Okay, let’s change that: I can’t work on long-term projects without an imminent deadline and someone breathing down my neck. So let’s create an imminent deadline and recruit neck-breathers. Find a sympathetic prof who will agree that 3 weeks before the due date they expect me to show them my preliminary notes and bibliography. Get a friend I trust to block off an hour to sit with me and keep asking, “Are you working on your project?” Write a blog post about my progress. Arrange to trade papers and proofread them with another student.

1. DEMAND condom use 2. Hold your partners accountable for what happens in the bedroom. None of this “baby I can’t control myself around you” or “I just wanted you so bad” bullshit. 3. Coercion is real and it’s very scary and hard to identify in the moment. Establish a dialogue with your partner. Be clear on what you both want. Be clear on what you don’t want. Your boundaries should ALWAYS be respected. 4. Sex can be really emotionally and physically over-stimulating the first few times; don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask your partner to slow down, take a break, or even stop. 5. Focus less on pleasing your partner and more on exploring your partner. Everyone’s body is different and there are no “tricks” to better sex. Chances are, if you psych yourself out worrying over how well you’re “performing” then nobody’s going to have a good time. 6. Ask questions, offer suggestions. Despite what porn has probably taught you, talking during sex isn’t weird or taboo. Your partner isn’t a mind reader. They don’t know what feels good to you. [Pro-tip, a looot of people without clitorises aren’t fully aware of just HOW sensitive a clitoris is. They can be a little rough with them. Tell them to chill!!!!] 7. Your sex life is YOUR business. Don’t ever feel ashamed of how many or how few sexual partners/experiences you’re having. Do what you want, touch the people who want to touch you back, forget the rest. 8. DON’T FAKE YOUR ORGASMS!! Don’t fake your orgasms!! DON’TFAKEYOURORGAMS!! If your partner isn’t getting you there, let them know! Tell them how!! 9. There is more to sex than orgasms. Sex is a really cool way to establish intimacy and trust, to have a fun time, to relieve stress, to explore a person’s body and bring them pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, orgasms are really cool and good, but your sex life is going to be a lot better if it doesn’t revolve around them. 10. LEARN ABOUT YOUR BODY!! This goes for everyone, but ESPECIALLY if you are a person in possession of a vulva, you have been discouraged and even actively kept from vital knowledge about your anatomy! Do some google searches, buy a human sexuality textbook, masturbate. 11. Virginity is a useless concept. It’s completely okay if your virginity is something important to you and I’m not trying to belittle that idea. Just, for the record, in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal. Literally nothing about you changes just because you bumped uglies with someone else.

• clean ya room (just do it). also, check those pinterest boards you save for “one day” and actually go through them and draw some inspiration, even if you just end up rearranging the books on your bookshelf or putting some flowers from your garden in a mason jar on your desk. this is your home, make it feel like it is.

• do your laundry (also, don’t forget your bed sheets). if you’re in the mood, look at next week’s weather forecast and think about what you’re going to wear. go through your drawers, check the back of your closet. that hat you bought some time ago and forgot about because you didn’t dare to wear it? well… new week, new you, right? 

• call a friend/family member you haven’t talked to in a while, tell them you miss them. tell them you love them. remember and appreciate that they are a part of your life even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time.

• draw, paint, journal, write or make some music. something you know you love doing but “never find the time”. sunday is “finding-the-time day”. if you’re not feeling creative, read a book or watch your favorite show. or watch a new show. a scary show. a funny show. laugh as loud as you want. listen to music. listen to your favorite songs, or listen to new songs. even a new genre if you dare. turn the volume all the way up. take a second to consciously feel the music. you can always get up and dance. or sing. or both.

• the great, but still really effective classic: take a bath or a really long shower. if you have this special face or hair mask you’re saving up for a special occasion: congrats, you’re the special occasion today. use it. also, body lotion. we all know you’re going to be running late during the week and skip it one too many times. make yourself feel like the goddess you are. 

• sit in silence for a few moments. listen to your breath. listen to your heartbeat. for the love of god PLEASE listen to your thoughts for once in your life. don’t make them feel like they are wrong. or bothersome. they too just want to be heard once in a while. what are they trying to tell you? what could be soothing for them? be compassionate to yourself. it’s okay. you are okay. you are okay.

• think about things you can be grateful for next week. even if you feel like your life sucks atm, think about the small things you take for granted in a different way. for example: “next week, i will have access to clean water. CLEAN. WATER. 844 million people don’t have that.” or “next week, my legs will take me wherever i want to go. not everybody has two fully functioning legs, so i’m lucky in that way.” you’re allowed to feel bad about your life, but you’re also allowed to feel good about things. 

• if you’ve stayed home most of the week, go out. go for a walk. go swimming. go to a party or dinner with friends. even if you feel like you don’t need to see the outside world, chances are you’ll feel great after you do. if you feel like you’ve been running around all week, maybe you’d like to stay home today. put on your ugliest sweater, comfiest leggings, and fluffiest socks and curl up under a thousand blankets. you a sloth today and it’s okay. 

• eat. i mean honestly: eat THE THING. i don’t care if you’re on a diet. if there’s something you’ve been craving all week that has turned you into the veiny-neck-dude meme just trying to resist it: EAT IT. you deserve it. not because you worked out or ate salads or did well in school, but just because you’re a human and you love to eat and life is short and you should be allowed to eat yummy things. it’s okay. you won’t gain 5 pounds or lose your brain cells no matter how unhealthy it is, i promise.

• plan plan plan yo week. it doesn’t matter if you use a planner, bullet journal, the calendar on your phone or the notes app: write everything down you have going on next week. appointments. events. coffee-dates. when are you going to the gym? what are you going to eat? (meal prep if necessary) also, create reminders on your phone for everything. “i won’t forget it!” is a sweet thought, but oh honey you will. schedule reminders for every event. let your phone remind you that you need to buy toilet paper when the store is nearby. schedule daily reminders for your medications. (once you’ve done this it honestly feels like you just cleaned out 38GB of your brain, you simply don’t have to worry about that anymore, space for more important info, like your new favorite pun to annoy everyone with)

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting.  Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible.  Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible.  Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.