stinky little man

okay unrelated but what was the funniest red flag in ur worst relationship

They killed Mr Inedible with this shit

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

my favorite greentext is white woman spotted

it would be so fucking embarrassing if we meet aliens and they are like wow you guys have the same technology as we did 300 gyroaays (unit of time) ago, that's awesome. and we are like wooo that's so cool and they are like yeah so what are your thoughts on electrons and glorons and we just like missed glorons and they are so important and easy to discover but we missed it and have eben fuccking around and they laigh at our shitty science built around the gaping wound that is the absence of glorons

you cannot save me!! i am unsaveable!!! i have never been saved!!!!!!!!

they should invent an apartment that a normal person can afford

explaining things to your friend who's a gnome: okay so imagine a berry

“you’re allowed to relax, you know” unfortunately i cannot do that. Otherwise they will get me