Java with John

Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

I am with Thomas when he hears the news. “We have seen the Lord.”  Thomas  hears what they are saying, but he has seen the blood stained body. He still remembers the sound of the hammer clanging against the nail. He heard words gasped out loud from that horrific cross; “It. is. finished.” as he watched Jesus suffer the excruciating pain and take that last blood soaked breath. 

So when his friends came back with this news, well... perhaps his heart just could not go there. He trusted and really believed that Jesus was his long awaited Messiah. So his response seems only reasonable for someone walking through this kind of grief. I mean, I get it. Jesus did not seem to be acting and doing what was expected of this Messiah. And forgive the pun but this had to be the final “nail in the coffin” of Thomas’s belief. 

So Jesus comes to him. Isn’t it beautiful that Thomas doesn’t have to go find Jesus? It is just like Jesus to do this too. He is always coming and finding us in the middle of our doubt. God started looking for us in a garden and he continues to find the doubting Thomas’s of this world wherever they are.  Jesus comes to Thomas’ place of brokenheartedness and gives him the beautiful gift of seeing and touching.  “Don’t be without belief, rather believe.” The Greek word here is “unbelieving” not actually doubt. So doubting Thomas is kind of a misnomer that has been handed down through the centuries. 

Why is that important? Well its not because doubt is wrong. It isn’t wrong to have doubt. Thomas did have doubts, we can hear it in his voice. But this word “believe” is really important to John because his Gospel is all about  belief that is connected to relationship. Within it is the idea of trust. In Spanish the word for trust is “confianza.”

I love the word “confianza.” We used it so much in Dominican because in Spanish it carries the connotation of trust in relationship. And I remember that time my Dominican sister Sugeily told me I could call on her to help anytime because we were “amigas de confianza.” Or she would share from her heart because we had “confianza.” I could trust her and that meant she was the kind of friend that was there for me day and night, sickness, health, whatever-- that kind of friend. 

You see Thomas’ heart was broken. His friendship with Jesus was crucified on a cross. He knew what it meant when people die. So to actually believe that Jesus was alive was to put your heart back into that place of hope and make it vulnerable to the disappointment of a lie.

And Jesus, his “amigo de confianza” meets him,  and compassionately shows him the nail scars in his hands. Thomas’ reaction is not a statement of doctrine, it is a statement of relationship “MY Lord and MY God.” Not The Lord, but MY Lord. 

I am with Mary in that Garden of the empty tomb. I see that the stone is rolled away. Ans so we run. We run because this empty tomb has unfathomable implications. And John runs faster, maybe it’s his younger feet, maybe it is fear, or maybe even his heart has some kind of hope, but he is running. He is running fast.

And with Peter, John and Mary, I hear them discuss the grave clothes. “Why are the grave clothes here?” Why wouldn’t the robber take the body with the grave clothes?” “Could this really be….?” John sees it and he believes. It is not all clear, but the evidence is before him.

Mary sees the evidence but knowledge is not enough. The one she loves is still gone. She weeps as the teacher’s words begin to whisper to soul “Remember that I said in three days… I know, I know, but….”

Then there is this moment when the evidence, the knowledge and the things Jesus said all make sense. She hears him say her name “Mary” The moment of encounter. The most magnificent encounter. When he said her name she knew it was him. The one who was her deliverer, the one who freed her from the bondage of demons. The one who was now her Savior. It is the encounter that moves her from knowledge to relationship. Her believing to loving. 

Before I met your father I learned a lot about him from my best friend Rhonda. I learned that he was Brazilian, that he loved sports, children’s ministry, studying Gods word. I learned he was a man of integrity and of his love for the Lord.  I came to know all this stuff about him but I did not fall in love with him just from knowing the stuff. I fell in love with him when I had I had personal experience with him.

The day between death and resurrection.

Here I am with the followers of Jesus on this "day between." The day between...

pain and peace

anguish and elation

languish and flourish

defeat and victory

despair and joy

finale and beginning

tribulation and triumph. 

Not an easy place to be. 

What gets these frightened followers through it? 

I am wondering because I have been in that same place. That "day between" place.  Maybe on that day, the one thing that gets them through is remembering what Jesus said. He gave them words of hope to hold on to. In fact, even the unbelievers remembered what Jesus said. Still, I wonder if some of them forgot. It seems impossible, but by the way some of them acted, I wonder if they forgot. I often forget and, I have Jesus' words in written in red, leather bound, and contained in at least 20 Bibles in my house. Probably the best thing to do on this day "in-between" is to remember what Jesus said. And, if you can't remember, shake the dust off that leather bound Bible, or click the YouVersion leather bound icon, and look for the words in red. And remember. 

So the Jews answered and said to him, 'What sign do you show to us, since you do these things?' Jesus answered and said to them, 'Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.' Then the Jews said, 'It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and will you raise it up in three days?' But he was speaking of the temple of his body. When therefore he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered that he said this; and they believed the Scripture, and the word which Jesus had spoken (John 2:18-22)

Two things appear to me. No formulas here, but something to be gleaned for the discomfort of being "in between."

John tells me that they did the regular stuff that needed to be done. They prepared Jesus' body for burial, they "laid him in the tomb." I imagine that it could be easy to be paralyzed in fear, and some of them were, but on the "day between," there is always the stuff that just needs to get done. So we do it. John 19

...they took the body of Jesus and bound it in linen cloths with the spices, as is the burial custom of the Jews. 41 Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid. 42 So because of the Jewish day of Preparation, since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there.

They remembered what Jesus said. Matthew tells us that the unbelievers remembered Jesus' resurrection prophecies and took the necessary precautions based despite their suspicions. Matthew also tells us that Mary and Martha were at the tomb watching the stone, and I imagine that they remembered too. 

Authority and  COVID-19

I am going back to this passage, reading over again and again this most important moment in History.

I hear Pilate again “Do you not know that I have authority to release you and authority to crucify you?”

And I hear Jesus most powerful response “You would have no authority over me at all unless it had been given you from above. Therefore he who delivered me over to you has the greater sin.”

I keep thinking how we are all trying to get power over this virus. Communities trying to stop the spread, doctors trying to find a cure, the media giving us information so that with the information we feel empowered to protect our homes and our families. While we must do our part, in the end, we have no power, no authority over this Pandemic.

God alone is in control of it all. The only authority, the only power is what God gives us. And all the while, in the middle of what feels like chaos to me I can trust that he is accomplishing his purposes.

I imagine the disciples looking on in this moment. Trying to scream louder than the crowd, “Crucify Barrabas!!!” “Not Jesus- Barrabas!!!” This little slither of control, authority, something that they can do because life is out of control! Perhaps their screams, though insufficient, feel like a little bit of power in a time of powerlessness.

I feel a little like this in my own out of control moment. I am screaming but it feels like nothing is making a difference —hand washing, social distancing, cleaning all seem futile with a virus that has the loudest voice of all.

So Jesus responds to this question about power revealing that God alone has authority. He never surrenders it. Never. He is accomplishing his purposes.

And sometimes— HIs purposes require suffering. Today I can look back at this crucifixion scene and see the importance of the crowd’s cheers and Pilates decision, I know why Jesus has a crown of thorn jabbed into is skull and I can tolerate the pain of the cross. I have the luxury of knowing the outcome. In fact, I am so grateful for the outcome of this event!!!

The disciples that lived through this moment didn’t have that luxury at the time. They only knew that their voices were never going to be enough to change Pilates mind. They could only watch as their dearest friend suffered the cruelty of the cross and they suffered watching the event  and knowing they were powerless.

John 19 The  Crucifixion.

The Crown of Thorns.

Authority. Pilate says, “Do you not know I have authority? “

Atonement. Crucifixion was a display of Roman authority. a curse for the Jews. So in this moment Pilate thinks this crown and this cross will demonstrate to all his Roman authority. Who would  imagine that the Holy One of God would voluntarily take upon Himself the course that should have been ours? 

What do I need to say about this act of mercy and salvation. How can I write something that merits the gravity of this moment in history? The only wish of my heart that Marcus will look on that cross and know it is enough.

Enough to cover every sin enough to take our place enough to satisfy the debt that I cannot pay Enough to conquer death and the grave

Oh the glory of the cross that is enough. I am so limited and Jesus was unlimited. Unlimited by the work of man. Unlimited by the suffering. Unlimited by blood shed, broken bones, pierced side. Unlimted by the pain.

I am with Jesus and I hear his cry from the cross. It pains my soul to hear his humanity as he lives the last moments of MY punishment. The soldiers give him something to drink. I imagine his mother wishing she could be the one to quench the thirst, not those who seem to be enemies.

A fulfillment of prophecy, an emphasis on Jesus’ humanity, an expression of his having finished the cup of suffering, and a moving statement that the source of Living Water was drying up—these are all possible ways of understanding the meaning John saw in Jesus’ words, “I thirst.”

Human Jesus, the living water is now crying out for water as he completes his mission.

Jesus is still thirsty. You can find him thirsty in so many places.

And I think of that baby on the metro in Cairo Egypt. The mother letting the baby fall into my arms as her physical body is made paralyzed by demons. And the baby in my arms, sweaty, scared, big brown eyes, and so very, very thirsty. Your father handed me that water bottle as the babies cries grew louder and carefully I put the water to his lips and he drinks!!! He guzzles!!!! He was so thirsty!!! And Jesus enters into that moment. I hear him say “I thirst.”

“…I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink..”

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Mt. 25:i37-40

What a gift the Savior of my soul had given me —an opportunity to quench His thirst as I serve the least of these. Mother Theresa once wrote a letter about these words. I love lover her words because my heart resonates with her letter. 

“Why does Jesus say "I thirst"?  Something so hard to explain in words — if you remember anything from Mother's letter, remember this — "I thirst" is something much deeper than just Jesus saying "I love you."  Until you know deep inside that Jesus thirsts for you — you can't begin to know who he wants to be for you.  Or who he wants you to be for him.  How to approach the thirst of Jesus?  Only one secret — the closer you come to Jesus, the better you will know his thirst "Repent and believe," Jesus tells us.  What are we to repent?  Our indifference, our hardness of heart.  What to believe?  Jesus thirsts even now, in your heart and in the poor — he knows your weakness, he wants only your love, wants only the chance to love you.  He is not bound by time.  Hear him.  Hear your own name.  Make my joy and yours complete.” Mother Theresa

John 18.

I am with Jesus in the Garden of Betrayal. Judas with his money. Peter with his lies of denial. And me with with all of that and more. My words have betrayed Jesus. My money has betrayed Jesus. My actions have betrayed Jesus.

And to think that Jesus chose us all. He chose Judas. He chose Peter.

And He chooses me.

“Did not I choose you, the Twelve?” (John 6:70; see also 13:18.) The verb to choose is a key word in Bible history. God chose Abraham, and then chose Israel to become the chosen people. It is God’s choice or election that forms God’s people, the people of the covenant. What makes the covenant unbreakable is that God chooses to love Abraham and his descendants for ever. The apostle Paul would comment on this: “God’s gifts and call are irrevocable” (Romans 11:29).

And the crazy thing is, I was chosen despite the potential for betrayal. He knows we will betray him. He knew it about Judas and Peter and He knows it about me. And yet he continues to choose me.

She was 14 and pregnant. She had no where to go and so we took her in and then just like Judas and Peter, she betrayed us. She abandoned us. She called me when she had her baby. I picked her up in a shack made for prostitution with pornography pinned to the walls. I was with her in the labor at 3 am. I took her to the clinic and we took care of her, watched that beautiful little girl come into the world. We surrounded her with joy and love. We offered her a home, food, education. She rejected it all and chose the brothel.

I am with Jesus as he prays. With John, we eavesdrop as he speaks to the Father on the very night that he is betrayed. He prays for his followers, he prays for you and he prays for me. And in the moment just before he is betrayed, just before he endures the pain of the cross, just before he is abandoned and abused. He prays for ME to endure. On behalf of his followers he petitions the Father “Keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one”

What is required for us to be kept?

His name - we must be identified with the authority of his name. His name on our lives is an empowered identity.

Unity- our unity with one another is a key to sustaining power.

An Example to follow - the perfect love and intimacy between the Father and the Son is the example to follow. It is the kind of love that must be in us. When it is in us then we can love as Jesus loved. Not our own love but a kind of love that people literally feel the divine touch of Jesus coming through our lives.

“But now I am going to him who sent me, and none of you asks me, ‘Where are you going?’ 6 But because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your heart. 7 Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.”

We were running this morning and to tell you the truth, I wanted to quit. It was hard. I had a pain in my shoulder (weird right?) and congestion in my chest, and it was just hard to keep the pace. Running is not comfortable.

And here I am with Jesus listening to this uncomfortable teaching. He tells me that the world will hate me, that persecution is coming.  That’s not very comforting. Then I hear that big gospel word. NEVERTHELESS, yes nevertheless or despite everything to the contrary; “it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.”

My advantage! Yet I suffer persecution, there is pain, there are tears. But what about the Comforter? None of these words feel very comforting. Nothing about this passage feels like a comfort zone.  And I learn that the feeling that goes with this “comfort word” in the Greek. The disciples that are listening know that Jesus is not talking about handing them a comfy blanket.   It is the idea that this is our helper that is right beside us prodding us along. He is that help when we want to give up, when we are afraid, when life gets hard. He gives us the courage to keep going!

And I think of my friend Kelli, with her Texas accent and her big trainer voice. The Lord has often used Kelli to be my “comforter” in the Greek sense of the word. We run together in the morning and Kelli, who is a fitness trainer,  is one of the strongest people that I know. And she would never hand me a fluffy quilt when the run gets hard!!! Her kind of comfort is like a prodding that moves me beyond my limitations. While I hear myself say “quit”, “go slower”, “take it easy”, Kelli is a louder voice saying “C’mon YOU CAN DO THIS.” Run Faster, don’t slow down.

And now I want the Holy Spirit to be a louder voice as run through the stuff of life. I hear him prodding me along, never letting me quit, and sometimes, I really feel like he has a Texas accent.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, BUT your sorrow will turn into joy.”

Why? Why all the hard words? There is purpose to his teaching. He tells me

“I have said all these things to you to keep you from falling away.” Ok, these words will rivet my soul to Jesus when then the hard times come. I have said these things to you, that when their hour comes you may remember that I told them to you. Ok. remember. this is a key for the hard times.

I am with Jesus and I hear him boldly declare “I am the true vine and my Father is the husbandman.” Getting to know Jesus and the Father is my unrelenting pursuit so my heart and ears are open as I lean in to discover what he means when he tells me that He is the vine and the Father is the Husbandman. I need a dictionary for this word, and I learn that the husbandman is the really the farmer, the one who cultivates the land. Still, a vineyard is so unfamiliar to me. I really don’t know how it all works. So as I listen to Jesus I am trying to listen with middle eastern ears. They certainly understood it.

They knew that the care that was necessary to ensure the fruitfulness of the vines. And I think of the farmer, or Husbandman, carefully caring for the plants and working so hard to make sure that they are fruitful. And I learn that suffering is necessary in order for something to grow.

Why do we reject the suffering? I know that I am learning to just embrace pain, anxiety, discomfort, instead of rejecting or looking for a comfort zone. The more I can focus on the reward for the suffering, the more I can take the pain.

Jesus tells us that there is a reward and the reward is more than relief from discomfort. It is fruitfulness. And just yesterday, we had lunch with our brother and sister from Eurasia. And as they told me their story of persecution and the underground church, I could hardly believe that I was actually sitting with them, breaking bread together and even with my eyes full of tears,  rejoicing in their suffering. Their story includes terrible persecution and also healing and victory. Sometimes it is almost ironic. There is the miraculous healing and also terrible pain and suffering, but ultimately there is fruit and abundance of fruit and all the while the husbandman is cultivating soil for the FRUIT. It’s all about the fruit. 

And I remember that day with the third graders. We learned about cutting off the branch and attaching it to another. Marcus with eyes wide with wonder remembered this passage with the cutting and the attaching and… the fruit! We ate the fruit that day and we tasted the reward of the cutting and the attaching. 

Lord help me keep focused on the reward when it hurts.

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide; The darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide; When other helpers fail and comforts flee, Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day; Earth’s joys grow dim, its glories pass away; Change and decay in all around I see— O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour; What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s pow’r? Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be? Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless; Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness; Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory? I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.

I am with Jesus in those last few days with his disciples. Jesus starts with "Truly, truly...” And he has my attention. The statement that he is making is so surprising that Jesus wants to make sure that we understand that He is speaking TRUTH. I see it in red letters in my Bible, but honestly I cannot fathom it. I see it, and in my heart I can hear Jesus emphatic voice saying; 

"Truly, truly, I say to you, WHOEVER believes in me will also do the works that I do; and GREATER WORKS than these will he do, because I am going to the Father. WHATEVER you ask in my name, this I will do.."  

And I wonder. What have I been asking for? Really. Does it fall into the category of "greater things"?

 So I am asking with this in mind today.  

I am with Peter and we are about to eat that last supper.  Jesus has his hands on Peter’s feet placing them in the water. I hear Peter questioning, “Lord do YOU wash MY feet?” And Jesus familiar response, (he’s said this before) “Peter, I know, you just don’t get me now, but later, it will all become clear.” And once again,with Peter I am bewildered by Jesus. He is does not act the way I expect him to act.

Pastor Becky and I were running through the Fairmeadows neighborhood, which is a little like a misnomer—it isn’t exactly the nicest part of town. We were praying as we ran, taking authority, interceding for the broken, standing in the gap for the souls of that neighborhood. As we ran we whispered our heavenly language through the street and ups the small hills. I know there was joy on my face as I was having so much fun running with the Holy Spirit and with my dear friend Becky.

Running down the street, we see a car come around the curve and we move to the side but the car slows down, the driver rolls down the window and yells to us. “Y’all are so cute out here running.” She is a beautiful African American woman with long braids and glitter on her eyelashes. Her name is Krystal. I am super flattered looking at her beauty and considering that I am dripping in sweat. It feels like she just handed me a gift. And we talk a minute and Becky invites her to run with us and gives her cell phone number, and we run off. We wondered if we would see her again, but we both commented that it felt like a divine appointment.

Not more than 15 minutes later Krystal calls Becky. She said, “I want my daughter to meet you.” We said “Sure come meet us that the Fairmeadows church.” She came with her daughter and son! Then as we chatted someone mentioned pizza and in an act of spontaneity, we just decided to take them to pizza. The whole time I am thinking that this was a wonderful opportunity for me to love someone for Jesus. I am ready to share the gospel, give a word of encouragement and pray for their needs. But the more time I spent with Krystal, the more I could see that SHE was the one who was blessing ME. She gave me a word of encouragement. She was so loving to me!

As I drove home, I asked the Holy Spirit, “What was that about?” And it became so clear. It wasn’t about God using me to love Krystal. It was about God using Krystal to love me!

I am with Jesus and he has the towel in his hands. The water fills the basin and my jaw drops to the ground. It is not the first time on this journey with Jesus. My jaw has dropped at the sight of the miraculous wonders he has performed but this time it is not the supernatural that surprises me. It is an ordinary act of service that seems extraordinary.  

The God of the universe chooses to pick up a towel and wash feet. The same hands that have opened blind eyes and multiplied bread now dips the towel in the basin and washes dirty feet. I hear Peter question, “Master, YOU wash MY feet?” and even refuse “You will never wash my feet.”

Yet what makes this so beautiful is not just that Jesus Christ, the miracle working Son of God is washing dirty feet. What makes this beautiful and jaw-dropping is the reason Jesus is washing their feet. It is not out of obligation or in order to gain their love and respect. It is because it is his very nature to take up the towel and serve.

John tells us; “Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God.” He knew his authority, he knew his identity and he knew his destiny. Then there is this one word explains everything.

“So.” A connecting word that says it all. It means consequently, or “as a result.” As a result of the fact that he knew what his life was all about. He knew he was sovereign God. He knew he had authority over the death that was looming in the future. And he knew that end result. He could see the finish line. And as a result of the security of his authority, identity and destiny, he naturally took up the towel. Not “in spite of the fact” of his identity. No. As a result of his identity, it was his nature to wash dirty feet.

And I think of that old missionary story. The missionary was on the island of Cuba and he was in one of those great healing crusades and God was moving and God was blessing and people were walking in front of him and he was laying hands ont hem and God was healing. And suddenly there stood before him a lady with leprosy. And to Brother Hugh Jeter, this leprosy looked alive and thus very dangerous and after having laid hands on everybody that came across that platform, his mind told him that common sense told him, don't touch this lady. And so he made one of those little pontifical, I don't know what you call it, waves in her direction and muttered a few words of prayer at her and began to encourage a wave of praise through the audience hoping that she would go on, and yet she didn't budge. She stood transfixed in front of him. So he kind of waved in her direction, hoping that she had gone on. She was still there.

Hugh Jeter said “I heard the voice of the Lord speak to me and say, lay your hands on this lady,just like you did like all the others.” I've always perceived of that as God's efforts to bring that man to his senses about his ministry and teach him the really of personal human involvement. But I see it a little bit differently now. I'm sure that God did want to minister to Hugh Jeter. I think God saw a leper lady, and he wanted to wash her feet and he needed hands to do it so he said to this young missionary, “Hugh, let's you and I together,let's wash this lady's feet. Reach out and put your, no both hands, not just one, but both hands. Reach out and cradle her head and let's you and I join our forces and let's wash her feet.” Brother Jeter tells the story that as he took that leper lady's head in his hands and just cradled her head in his hands, how the glory of God just came down and bathed him, how the glory of God just came and bathed her, as they stood there and that little leper lady so accustomed to being outcast, so accustomed to people drawing back from her, so accustomed to being ignored and despised and rejected, felt the loving warmth hands of Jesus in the person of Hugh Jeter as the Lord came down and washed her feet because it is his nature to take up the towel and he expects you and I to join in that effort.