✧ the biggest dog ✧

Friends, romans, people who are nonbinary except at work, lend me your ears,

Oh so no pit hair. Ok *walks away stepping loud loud loud like boom boom boom and the road and buildings crumble to dust around me im not mad or bad im just really sad and big like god ziller*

thinking about her again

Saw a tweet about mamdani solving the astrophage crisis and now im just imagining them sending mamdani to space

"I'm so lazy for lying down so often" "I'm so greedy for eating such a big meal" MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND!!!! YOUUUU ARE A GIANT OMNIVORE. YOU'RE MEGAFAUNA. DO YOU KNOWWW HOW ENERGY EXPENSIVE IT IS TO KEEP A GIANT OMNIVORE WITH A HUGE BRAIN RUNNING. very!!! very energy expensive!!! eat that burger take that nap. holy moly. you wonderful animal. your species is made for frequent meals and daytime rests and long sleeps. let yourself be a human.

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

if i see a group of men laughing i just know its not funny