Grasses Of The Hunt

04.02.2017

This morning I decided to sleep in. I woke up at around 11, made me some coffee, had some breakfast, cleaned my room and then headed out to a café where my firend and I intended to spend the afternoon studying. Apparently they don’t allow studying in the afternoon during weekends due to students occupying tables for way too long, allowing for less profits… So: we packed our stuff and continued our work on my friend’s dinner table!

1. Effort CAN betray you. No matter how much you’ve done everything you can there are things in life that are beyond your control like your patient from passing away. It’s not your call. You have to accept it and let it go, and you’re going to repeatedly learn this again and again throughout your life. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed, stop beating yourself up; you’ve done what you can.

2. Even if you can do things on your own, EVERYBODY needs someone, a friend, a lover, or anything. Life is better when it is shared through good times especially the bad ones.

3. Don’t be afraid nor be ashamed to ask for help. Sometimes life can get to the best of us. And it’s okay.

4. Society is obsessed with the “positive” hype. But I’m here to tell you that IT IS OKAY NOT TO FEEL OKAY. What you are feeling right now is valid. You don’t have to force yourself to “be positive” because that’s what you’re supposed to. It’s okay to feel sad, to feel lonely, to feel like nothing is ever going to be right, but keep in mind that all of those are TEMPORARY. I promise you, you will feel better, maybe not right now, but you will. And it’s okay if you don’t feel okay right now.

5. Stop saying sorry when you are not at fault. Respect yourself.

6. Never convince or beg anyone to stay. If they want to, they will. Never prove your worth to someone. Never change yourself to make someone like you. You deserve someone better, who will appreciate and adore the whole of you. Always remember that.

7. Year after year you wait and search for “your person”, your soul mate. To be honest, I don’t know if that person exists. But most times we don’t notice the people who care for us are right on front of us all along. Recognize those people who love you unconditionally. Stop looking for your person; and start taking care of the people you have right now.

8. Don’t be afraid to show emotion, no matter how deep or silly it may be. Don’t be ashamed to show that you care. There is no such thing as too much. It’s human; it’s raw; and it’s beautiful. It’s what the world needs, something true, something untarnished.

9. It’s always a never-ending process of learning to love yourself. I still find it difficult to love myself fully.

Good things I accomplished today: * Went to the state Capitol and testified in support of legal protections for healthcare professionals who are assaulted at work. Our state currently has none. * Went to an AMA meeting and set our governing committee’s policy for the next year. * General class stuff.

What’s got me feeling like $0.02 looking for change right now: * The lunch and learn I went to on care of transgender and gender nonbinary patients, at which the speaker totally slagged emergency providers for doing literally everything wrong, but when I asked how we could do better, she had no answer. So basically, even the most aware, sensitive emergency provider can’t ever take care of a trans or nonbinary patient because we suck on general principles. Awesome. Makes me feel so valid in my profession. * Attending the screening of “The Normal Heart” our LGBTQ student group hosted with another student group, and realizing that I could see this massacre happen twice in my lifetime. Seeing it firsthand the first time around (which less than 2% of my class is old enough to claim) was quite horrible enough. * The text message I got from Medbro halfway through said film, and having to restrain myself from jumping out of my seat and running to go find her. (She’s OK, but seriously struggling.)

31/01/17 (25/ 100 Days of Productivity):

Me: Alright, we are going to do an ultrasound of your abdomen to see if there is a fetus in the uterus.

Patient: Ok.

Patient’s 3 year old daughter: I have a belly too, can you look at me?

Me: Yes you do, should we see if there is baby in there?

Patient: If there is, someone is going to jail.

Can you answer this USMLE Question?