Insert witty title

A: affection. | are they affectionate? how do they show affection?

Tamaki's affection comes in waves. Some days, his comfort level will be higher than others, —a natural phenomenon, and there's nothing either of you can really do to control the way it manifests. On days where he feels most secure, he shows affection through physical touch; things like resting his head against your shoulder, holding your hand, or pressing a kiss to your cheek/temple if he's feeling bold. Other days, however, when his anxiety gets the better of him and he's looking for distance without pushing you away, he expresses affection through means such as excessive thanks to you for tiny, everyday instances, or doing small things for you when he gets the chance.

B: bizarre. | something strange they do or a weird quirk they have with or without their partner?

Tamaki's more odd habits tend to involve sleeping or preparing to do so, —such as his strict persistence to always having two pillows, no more, no less, under his head at all times throughout the night. He also likes to hold something at night, and depending on him and his needs at the moment, that can be you or a pillow. It's less about warmth and more about the weight between his arms, but he does like to hold you close when he has the nerve to do so. And of course, you don't mind.

C: comfort. | are they good at comforting their partner? how do they do it?

Tamaki is surprisingly good at comforting other people, especially if he's close to them. For you, he'll hold your hand and let you cry on your shoulder while he rubs small shapes into your back and shoulders, —or he'll listen as you talk/ramble/vent and offer up any advice he thinks is suitable. While he may not have all the answers, he does what he can to make you feel safe and at peace, and he never has any ulterior motives for doing so. That's why it's so easy to let yourself rely on him, because he's just so genuine that it's almost unreal.

D: domestic. | how do they feel about settling down? do they cook/clean?

Tamaki is young and planning a future as well as a career with being a pro-hero at the top of his list. That's not to say he doesn't want to settle down someday; he's just too young to be thinking about that in his opinion, and so he doesn't. Not right now, anyway. Things as they are, largely innocent and blooming as the days go by, are more than enough for him. Tamaki is a pretty meticulous cleaner, and often tidies up to soothe himself down, so he doesn't mind if you leave the majority of the cleaning to him. As for cooking, he's unsurprising pretty handy in the kitchen on account of his quirk, and his diet can be pretty strict; but he likes to eat for pleasure sometimes and if you'd be willing to make dinner for the both of you, he'd happily eat whatever you serve (even if it sucks, because he'd praise it anyway.)

E: ending. | if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?

Tamaki would do it in person, likely through tears and with a million apologies. He'd over explain things, put a lot of blame on himself, and would also request to still be friends at the end. If you didn't want to, or couldn't manage it, he would let you go with no protests, but he'd do whatever possible to keep you in his life because he still cares for you deeply, even if the romantic relationship has ended.

F: future. | do they think about the future? how does it look?

Tamaki does think about the future, but mostly in abstracts. He doesn't really know what to expect from things and thinking ahead too much can fill him with more dread than he cares to carry with him, —but he likes the idea of one day achieving his dreams and watching as you do the same, and he really hopes you'll stay by his side through all the ups and downs.

G: gifts. | how often do they give their partner gifts? what kind of gifts are they?

Tamaki has a handful of love languages, and one of them is gift giving. Most of what he knows about romance comes from movies and other media, and oftentimes, he sees gifts being given as a means of expressing affection and appreciation. So, he does that for you when the time feels right. He'll offer up an occasional bouquet of flowers or something personalized and small every now and again, but by far his favorite thing to give you is a stuffed animal. You have a growing collection now, —from a beige colored bunny with floppy ears to a dark brown teddy bear with a cute little bowtie.

H: honesty. | are they honest with their partner? do they keep secrets?

Tamaki is very, very honest. He really values transparency in a relationship, because everything seems easier with an established level of trust and mutual reliance. Sometimes it might take him a few days to work up the courage to say something, but he always expresses himself genuinely in the end, and you're thankful for it. You do the same in turn to show respect.

I: i love you. | how fast do they say the L word? who says it first?

Tamaki is not quick to say he loves you and is incredibly unlikely to say it first. He might even hesitate or struggle to say it back in the beginning since all of this is so wholly unfamiliar to him. However, once he gets used to it, he'll say it frequently enough to let it never slip your mind. Half of the time, it's through text, though.

J: jealousy. | do they get jealous? does it show?

Tamaki isn't a jealous person. He trusts you and knows you wouldn't do anything to hurt him. If he ever does experience jealousy in regard to you, it would be small twinges of insecurity more than anything else, and he would eventually come clean about his feelings and relish in the reassurance you provide in the wake of his confession.

K: kisses. | what kind of kisses do they like to give/receive?

Tamaki likes to be given forehead kisses. They melt his little heart into a pile of throbbing mush. If he's having a bad day, there's nothing he wants more than a forehead kiss from you. Please be sure to give him one. As for giving, —Tamaki is a bit shy about it, but he likes to kiss your hair. It's far enough away from your eyes to give him some confidence in doing it, even if he messes it up somehow, and you seem to smile pretty brightly after he does it, so that's always a big plus!

L: likes and dislikes. | favorite and least favorite things about being in the relationship?

Tamaki's favorite thing about being with you is just getting to spend time with someone who sees him for everything he is and accepts him for everything he'll never be. He knows you see him as something much more than one of the UA big three, as something more than a soon-to-be pro-hero. He loves that you accept every side of him in whatever form it comes in. Tamaki's least favorite thing about being in the relationship is the heightened sense of apprehension he feels around the idea of anything going wrong. He often has intrusive thoughts about himself and his place in the relationship, which is no fault of your own, and sometimes, they can get the better of him.

M: mornings. | how do they spend mornings with their partner?

Tamaki has only woken up next to you a few times, but in doing so, he was a perfect gentleman. He made sure to leave you be, letting you wake up naturally, and once you were awake he offered to cook you breakfast (and was delighted when you offered to help him in the kitchen.)

N: nicknames. | what do they call their partner?

Tamaki typically just uses your actual name, but on occasion, he'll refer to you as "love" or "angel."

O: out of character. | what is something people would be hard pressed to believe they do/enjoy in a relationship?

Tamaki can be a bit clingy from time to time. Sometimes, it's his way of asking for confirmation about his standing with you, and other times, it's just because he wants to be near you and wants to feel especially loved. Just let him play with your fingers and rest his head on your shoulder while you read or watch something, and he'll be more than satisfied.

P: pda. | do they like public displays of affection? if so, what types?

Tamaki is not a fan of it, but he wouldn't mind too much if you wanted to hold his hand in public. Actually, he'd quite like that, as long as there aren't loads of people around.

Q: quirk. | what is something they do that their partner finds cute or endearing?

Tamaki fiddles with his thumbs when he's trying to collect his words and find the right ones to say, and you think it's absolutely adorable.

R: rough times. | arguments? how often and in what manner?

Tamaki is incredibly passive. He doesn't yell and avoids confrontation at all costs. When there's a disagreement, he often defaults to accepting your solutions or answers, and you might have to push him a bit to get his true reaction to things. Once he's more comfortable in the relationship, he'll likely be much more open with you during times of contention. Tamaki is incredibly respectful and values your opinions.

S: sensitive. | what's a sore spot for them that their partner should steer clear of?

Tamaki doesn't like discussing his anxieties bluntly. It's better to be gentle with him about it since he's both hyper aware and ashamed of it. Letting him come to you about it is likely the best thing to do, but if you really think it's important to discuss and you don't feel it's a good idea to wait it out, then do your best to be subtle so he doesn't feel embarrassed about it.

T: thrill. | do they need surprises in a relationship, or do they prefer a routine?

Tamaki largely prefers routine. Being a student at UA and having worked alongside Fatgum for quite some time now, he's been through his fair share of wildcard events, and he can honestly say that having a grounding point to return to is very, very important to him. He likes the stability his relationship with you offers, and he likes that there's often nothing for him to question or squirm over. What he sees is what he gets, and he's thankful for it.

U: unacceptable. | what is something they cannot tolerate in a relationship? what is something they would never do?

Tamaki couldn't be in a relationship with an overly critical, nitpicky person. It would wear thin on his self-esteem and eventually lead to some rather destructive results. Just as well, Tamaki would never put immense amounts of pressure on his lover.

V: vanity. | how concerned are they about their looks? are they insecure about them?

Tamaki is insecure about his appearance but is thankful for the compliments you give him that have helped him to build his confidence over time. As things stand these days, he thinks he's okay looking. . . Maybe nothing special in his own eyes, but that's okay by him. He definitely is not vain, and likely never will be.

W: wildcard. | random headcanon?

Tamaki really likes to do small, everyday things with you. Enjoying a new movie in your room? Count him in. Taking a quick trip to a convenience store to get a small snack? He's happy to accompany you. Working on an assignment? He's there for it and will certainly offer any assistance he can!

X: xoxo. | how often do they hug/kiss their significant other?

Tamaki hugs you far more often than he kisses you. Kisses are more of an ordeal for him, but a hug is. . . Mostly just comforting and full of warmth. He doesn't tend to initiate them; however, he'd never dream of turning you down when you offer them to him. As for kisses, they're much less frequent, but he always enjoys them, especially when he's a bit sleepy or worn out.

Y: yearning. | how do they feel when their partner is away?

Tamaki will be fine on his own, of course, ―he's more than capable of taking care of himself. However, he does miss you when he can't see you, and looks forward to the next time that he can with great excitement. He loves to spend time with you doing anything and everything, whether small or large, and while being apart is not anywhere near the end of the world for him, he would rather see you often, if only for a few minutes in passing.

Z: zzz. | how do they sleep with their partner? how do they sleep alone?

Tamaki is more cautious when he sleeps with you at his side. He makes sure that you have enough blanket, offers to move to the edge so you can be sure to have enough room. . . He's anxious about it to a certain extent. He wants to be beside you like this, but it can be nerve wrecking. However, when he settles into things, he's the easiest person to sleep beside in the world. Soft breathing, a gentle sleeper who doesn't move around a lot at all. He's clingy, but not in an overbearing, suffocating way. Just let him latch onto your arm or snuggle into your side, and he's sold for the night. When he's also, Tamaki sleeps much the same way, just that he grasps for a pillow instead of you. With or without someone by his side, he has lots of pillows when he sleeps and intends on keeping it that way.

A/N: AND SO IT BEGINS!!! We’re back to my roots with an SMAU about my husband <3 I’m very excited for this and what should come down the line. I’m hoping to eventually hit a regular update schedule but we’ll see

“I’m fine, kid.”

“Respectfully Hawks, I don’t believe you. No one would blame you for taking today off.”

There’s a tense moment where both men simply stare at each other and Tokoyami is sure he sees something flash through Hawks’ eyes. Before he can call his mentor out on it the moment is shattered by the phone ringing. The flash of something is gone as quickly as it had come as Hawks ignores Tokoyami again and picks up the phone. “You’re go for the Hawk man, what’s up?” he answers, leaning back in his chair and kicking his feet up on the desk. His face darkens for just a moment before the look vanishes again. “Got it, no problem big man. Tsukuyomi and I will be right there,” he answers with faux nonchalance, already bringing his feet off the desk and having a couple of his feathers bring his jacket to him. He hangs up the phone, rising swiftly. “Endeavor got a lead on the Shadow Brigade, needs back up to bring them in from their compound,” he explains as he pulls on his jacket. “Why would he call you in for this?” Tokoyami asks. “I am the number two Kid, comes with the territory, remember?” Hawks chuckles.

“Who cares what your ranking is? Going after the group responsible on the anniversary of-”

“We’ve got a job to do, Tsukuyomi.”

It’s not the first time Tokoyami has been blown off by Hawks recently.

At first he had been just as relieved as everyone else to see Hawks returning back to normal. But then Tokoyami had returned to the office one night long after his shift had ended, only to find his mentor passed out on top of the Shadow Brigade file, still turned to the pages detailing the fire that had taken your life. He’d assumed at first that the approaching anniversary of your death had been reopening old wounds, but as Hawks otherwise continued as normal, Tokoyami began to suspect that maybe, just maybe, Hawks had never actually returned to normal in the first place. His suspicions are only confirmed as he watches his mentor flying towards the location Endeavor had given them, straight towards the villain group that had burned Hawks’ whole world down around him, on the very anniversary of the horror. As much as Hawks is still presenting as his old, chirpy self, Tokoyami knows he can’t possibly be alright.

The closer they get to the compound the more he can still hear Hawks’ words in his ears.

You should’ve let me burn

“Hawks, did you hear what I said?”

Endeavor’s voice is booming even though he’s speaking in the quieter part of his vocal range just outside the compound he had summoned Hawks and Tokoyami to.

“Totally, but why don’t you hit me with it one more time,” Hawks tells him cheekily, causing Endeavor to roll his eyes heavily. Sometimes he wonders how the flippant young man in front of him is the same one who’d infiltrated the meta liberation front. “The members of the brigade are inside, including a new member with a heteromorphic fire quirk we haven’t previously identified. We think they’re protecting someone or something but haven’t been able to identify what yet. Someone needs to take on them while the others take in the rest of the brigade.”

“I’ll take on the new member.”

Both Endeavor and Hawks’s gazes snap to Tokoyami in surprise.

“Kid, I-”

“I mean your quirk doesn’t make sense against a fire quirk and fighting fire with fire also feels like a mistake so I’ll go,” Tokoyami insists.

Endeavor notes the way the young sidekick and his mentor seem to share a look, although he can’t parse what that look is. Regardless, they’re wasting time standing outside so he swiftly moves the conversation along. “Fine. Let us know if you need backup,” Endeavor nods before swiftly moving towards the building, ending whatever silent conversation the other two may have been having. Although Endeavor was initially nervous about letting a sidekick handle the new brigade member, the mission seems to operate smoothly enough. It doesn’t take him and Hawks long to subdue the original members, the other man operating with a devastating efficiency that Endeavor can’t help but admire. Every move is executed with ruthless precision and once again the older hero finds himself in awe that the carefree man he knows has such a serious side as well when it comes to the work itself. Just as Hawks is about to rush off towards his sidekick, the young man appears. “I’ve got them,” Tokoyami huffs, hoisting someone young with flames where their head and hands should be over his shoulder while Dark Shadow heaves along a familiar looking old man. “Is that-” Hawks starts but Endeavor swiftly cuts him off. “Let’s get these villains detained and then we can interrogate them properly at Tartarus.”

Hawks stares at Dr. Garaki and tries very hard not to think.

Or is it Keigo again now?

He’s not sure in all honesty. He hasn’t felt like Keigo in a long time. In exactly a year actually. But Hawks wouldn’t feel nauseous just looking at the villains he’d brought in for questioning. Hawks wouldn’t be trying desperately hard not to think of what the Shadow Brigade may have been doing with a mysterious new member and the infamous inventor of the Nomu. Hawks wouldn’t be thinking about the suspicious similarities between the new villain’s quirk’s heteromorphic manifestation and Kurogiri.

But he is. He is and no matter how much he hides it from the others, he knows he’s seconds away from doing or saying something he’s going to regret.

So Hawks makes a cheeky joke about being too popular and needing to make a phone call as he steps into the hallway. His hands tremble as he withdraws his phone and dials the number for the HPSC president. He supposes Keigo isn’t quite as dead as he thought because although he fully intended on keeping up appearances over the phone, the minute the president’s voice reaches him down the line, all pretense drops. “Did anything happen when you were transporting their body?” he demands, voice lethal. “I have no idea what you’re referring to Hawks,” the president sighs. “You know exactly what I’m referring to. Did. Anything. Happen?”

There’s another heavy sigh down the line and he can practically see the president pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

“There may have been a minor incident but everything turned out fine, you had enough going on,” she finally admits.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” he demands, venom in his voice like never before.

“You were in the hospital, remember? Ashes were delivered to the cemetery, that’s all that matters. It’s not like you ever visit the damn place anyway.”

Keigo’s just about to lash out when the precise wording the president used sinks in and suddenly he feels ice cold.

“What did you just say?”

“I said you never vis-”

“No before that. You said ‘ashes were delivered’.”

“Yes, so?”

“You didn’t say the ashes or their ashes. You just said ashes. Did you cremate my partner or not?”

There’s a long silence on the other end and it’s answer enough.

Without consciously making the decision to do so, Keigo’s feet carry him towards where Dr. Garaki is being held. The president is making excuses in his ear but he doesn’t hear any of them. They fade into the background like white noise until he finally hangs up his phone. Endeavor tries to stop him but the words fall on deaf ears as Keigo approaches Dr. Garaki with single minded determination. He doesn’t put his hands on the man, he doesn’t need to, the infamous doctor is already a sniveling mess just at the harsh look in Keigo’s eyes. “What have you done?” Keigo all but growls. “W-well I had just met the brigade and thought it would be such a waste! Your partner was quite smart, y'know. They’re by far one of my best creations!” Garaki whimpers, trying desperately to reassure the angry man in front of him in hopes of leniency. His words only further enrage the hero though, grief and pain and fury creating a storm that even years of HPSC training cannot hold back. “Don’t you dare talk about them like that,” Keigo growls, feathers ruffling in agitation. He’s about to abandon all semblance of protocol and put his hands on the cowardly, whimpering man before him when he’s suddenly being hauled bodily back.

“Don’t Hawks, you need to collect yourself,” Endeavor commands, his flames starting to roar to life in warning. It’s an attempt at authority, trying to command Keigo into submission with a reminder of who in the room is number one, but it’s a mistake. The realization of what you’d been turned into was already jarring enough, peeling back the feeble bandaid Hawks had put on the bulletwound of his grief, but the sight of the flames only makes it worse. Suddenly it’s like he’s right back in that room a year ago and he knows it’s different now, that he isn’t actually there, but his body can’t seem to get the message. Adrenaline burns hot through his veins, his every instinct screaming to go to you, to find you, to save you. Endeavor extinguishes his flames, hands coming up in a placating gesture as his eyes go wide and he realizes what’s happening, but it’s too late. Dark Shadow comes up to wrap around Keigo’s waist but that only agitates him further as the instinctive need to go to you continues to overwhelm all rational thought. He thrashes and writhes in the grasp, wings beating almost violently as Dark Shadow struggles to haul him out of the room.

“Let me go! They need me!” he demands but the grip around him doesn’t ease, even as Tokoyami’s concerned gaze comes into view.

“It’s not real Hawks, you’re not in the house anymore,” Tokoyami explains, sadly but patiently. How naive of him to assume Hawks had truly gotten better. “It’s just a memory, it’s not real.”

It takes several tries of Tokoyami explaining in the calmest voice possible that Keigo is having a flashback for him to finally snap out of it. As he returns to the present, the adrenaline wanes and suddenly he feels tired. So incredibly tired. His eyes meet those of perhaps the one person he is almost as close with as he was you and he collapses. The breakdown he had held off so long punches through him as his emotions overwhelm all the defenses he’d learned growing up. Tears blur his vision and sobs start to wrack his body soon after, as exhaustion and grief and the crushing guilt of knowing he failed you weigh heavy on his shoulders. All of the emotions he had denied himself from the past year rush through him at once while his sidekick kneels in front of him and pulls him into his arms. “It’s ok to not be ok,” Tokoyami whispers to his mentor and it only makes Keigo sob harder.

Because it’s not ok. It may never be. Even after your death he had managed to fail you again, his own selfish grief stopping him from protecting your body and allowing you the peaceful transition to the afterlife you deserved. You’d been twisted and turned into a monster and it was all his fault. It’s too much to feel and process on top of all the emotions he’d been holding back since his release from the hospital.

As Keigo tries and fails over and over again to grasp hold of Hawks and force him back into his body’s driver’s seat, he can’t help but think he much preferred being dead.