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by now your pillow was now soaked with your spit and tears of pleasure. you’ve lost track of how many orgasms you’ve had, much less what number your husband was at. all you knew is that taiju just buried another load deep into your pussy.

even with his cock plugging your hole, a mix of his and your cum leaks out onto the sheets. looks like you’ll have to do laundry again tomorrow. right now you weren’t too concerned about the following days chores. in fact, you’re too stupid and tired to think about much of everything.

“that’s my girl,” taiju grunts as one of his palms comes down to slap against your ass. it’s done in a manner to express that you did well but it still makes you squeal under him. the noise makes your husband chuckle. “gonna give you another” taiju suddenly announces, starting to thrust into your exhausted cunt.

the entire evening you’ve been taking everything he gave you but now you’re squirming away from taiju’s dick. “no more” you slur. “too sensitive, daddy”.

your protests are ignored. taiju’s large hands grab your hips to pull you flush against his hips again. a sob falls from your lips when he bottoms out completely. before you can plead for a break taiju’s stern voice rings in your ears.

“don’t pretend like you’re not cockdrunk” he practically growls. “you want this just as much as daddy does. now be a good little wife and take it”.

he’s right and you shouldn’t be surprised. the man you married knew you like the back of his hand. so of course he could tell that, no matter how much you whined about how it was too much, deep down you wanted more. you wanted more than anything to be used and would act as his cumdump for as long as taiju wanted.

when you give taiju absolutely no resistance, the sharp snapping of his hips start up again. it’s so overwhelming and feels so good all at the same time. if your legs didn’t work the next morning than so be it. all you want is to be bred again.

taiju’s teeth grit as your pussy somehow swallows him over and over. usually it takes him longer to cum but you’re just so obedient and your hole is so tight and warm. even he can’t take it for long. the guttural moan that rumbles in taiju’s throat sends a shiver up your spine as he spills his seed into your womb once again.

the full feeling is nothing you’ve felt before. you wouldn’t have been surprised if your tummy was bloated from all the cum inside. your heaving for air when taiju pauses his movements. “look at that. you were able to be good for daddy” taiju praises, running a hand lovingly up and down your back. “we’re not done here yet. 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐈’𝐋𝐋 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐀 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐈 𝐆𝐎 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘’𝐒 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐏𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐘”.

“like you hung all the stars on his sky.” 

you met shinichiro sano when you both were young, the prince was fifteen and you were fourteen — life didn't treat you kind, being the daughter of a prostitute and having a younger half brother to care of, since your mother died as soon as ken was born. you were used to having people looking down upon you and your brother, sneering at you for your attempts to not follow into your mother's footsteps — even if you lived inside a brothel — and give your brother the childhood you didn't have. but everything was worth it when a lady from the brothel, one that always treated you and ken as her own children, managed to get a job in the palace and took you and him with her. 

the first you noticed when you arrived at the palace was the prince. he was there to welcome the new staff members, and even if you were holding your five-year-old brother close to your chest, he still managed to jump from your arms and run towards the prince to ask if he wanted to play. 

you were so embarrassed — ken didn't know yet, but he was the son of a prostitute, someone that wasn't even supposed to touch the crown prince. but shinichiro was kind and held him like you were doing, while you're blushing and panting, saying how sorry you were for your brother's lack of manners. but he only laughed and smiled at ken, asking his name and saying that he and his baby brother would be the bestest of friends. 

you could only stand dumbfounded, watching your brother and the prince interacting, before his attention turned to you. you felt your cheeks growing even more hot than they were already, and kenny was looking puzzled between you too — but before any of you could say anything, the head of the staff members called for you, chastising you for bothering the prince and not listening to your superiors. she took you and ken from the prince's presence, and you thought it would be the last time you would see him. 

but prince shinichiro sano was already in love with you.

two nights after your first encounter with him, the prince appeared in your room, late at night — with nothing but a few sweets and his favorite drink. you couldn't leave kenny alone, so you two ate what he brought with whispers and rushed laughs surrounding you two. you didn't understand why the prince seemed to like you that much, but after saying goodbye to him with a whisper of your name and a kiss to his cheek, you knew why you liked him that much. 

you became princess emma's babysitter two weeks after starting to work in the palace, and you knew it had the prince's fingers on it — but you had always been good with children and the youngest sano was a delight to be around, so you didn't complain. ken also became prince manjiro's companion and best friend, and you knew you could sleep peacefully, knowing that your baby brother would have a different childhood than you did. you were more than grateful to prince shinichiro because of it. 

ken and you became honorary members of the royal family, at least to the three siblings and their mother — the king, their grandfather, had always been too unapproachable for you, and you knew the siblings weren't too fond of him too. 

alongside being an honorary sano, you became one of the prince's companions when you weren't taking care of his sister. you became friends with takeomi, wakasa and benkei too, to shinichiro's delight — the three of them knew about their friend's hopeless crush for his sister's nanny, and, while they knew such a love could not have a happy end, they encourage the prince to act on his feelings. 

and he only did it at twenty, when his grandfather passed away and he was crowned king. 

you were there for him throughout the whole day — either taking care of emma or just being near him, trying to lighten his mood a little before the crown was out on top of his head. and shinichiro couldn't help and attack your lips as soon as you two were alone on a balcony on the coronation ball. you were already beautiful in the simple dresses you wore on normal days, but wearing jewels and a tailored dress was a sight that rivalled the moon and the stars. 

“be mine.” he whispered against your lips that night, eyes dripping with love and cheeks flushed, making him look even more adorable. 

“i've always been, shin.” you whispered back, but, at the deepest part of your heart, you knew that whatever you two had going on, would end soon. 

but three years later you were still meeting him every night in his study, back always pressed against a wall while his hands wandered around your body as if you were a poem he was trying to memorize. 

“he does not look at me like that, ken.” 

“of course he does, sister! when you are going to see that big bro shin loves you?”

you smiled sadly at him. when you are thirteen, everything in life seems easy — you knew that very well. “even if he does love me like you say, kenny, we can not ever be together.” it shattered your heart to say that out loud, but you should take such thoughts from ken's head. 

he, too, wasn't the match for princess emma, even though their young love made you feel like a teenager again. “he is a king and i am merely his sister's nanny. we are from different worlds, baby.” 

you didn't want your brother to go through the same heartbreak you knew soon you would go through. 

but the look in his eyes showed you that he knew that very well. you opened your arms and ken snuggled on them, and you wondered when he had grown so much. he could be heads taller than you, but he would always be a baby to you.

“it will be alright, ken. someday we will know how to deal with this pain.”

— 

it was already routine for you to knock on the king's door three times after putting his sister to sleep. if you didn't appear, you should expect a pouty and whiny shinichiro following you around in the next day, and you couldn't let that happen — he was the king now, he was supposed to do his duties instead of chasing your skirts through the castle. 

you entered the study as soon as you heard shinichiro's voice, sadness inside your chest. you wished you could protect your brother against all the bad in the world, but even if shinichiro wasn't against a possible relationship and marriage between him and emma, the council was still a hard step to overcome — wakasa, takeomi and benkei would be agreeing with the king, but the older counselors would be against it. and being the majority, they would win. 

“what is upsetting my pretty lady?” you didn't even notice that you were standing in front of shinichiro until his hand was cupping your cheek. 

you sighed. you couldn't tell him what was plaguing your mind — because he would soothe it with empty promises. “i just noticed how ken is growing up so fast.” it wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie either. 

shinichiro nodded, his free hand bringing your body close to his, making you fall on his lap so his arms could hold you close to his chest. he would do anything to see a smile on your face again, understanding where you were coming from. manjiro and emma were growing up too quick to his liking too, but such feelings were the curse of older siblings. he kissed your cheek, then your lips — a quick and sweet peck, that left you breathless nonetheless. 

it was shinichiro's gift, to make you breathless.

your hands were soon on his hair while his lips traveled to your neck, kissing and biting to make his so beloved whines to escape your lips. “s-shin, stop teasing.” 

he smiled on the flesh of your neck, hand skillfully undoing the laces of your corset. “i still have some paperwork to do, y/n/n.” you knew what he meant by that, and your pupils widened with lust. 

your hands soon reached the tent on his trousers, unbelting them and springing his cock from the confines of the fabrics. shinichiro groaned at the feeling of your hand around his length, and he didn't waste no time to lift your skirts and put your underwear aside, helping you to sink down on his cock and stay still until he told you to move. 

your arms were soon around his neck, face pressed on the sensitive skin, and shinichiro swore he could die like that — having you around his arms and his cock inside your warm walls. he still couldn't believe how lucky he was that his feelings were reciprocated. he always thought takeomi or benkei to be a better fit for you, as they weren't kings and wouldn't pressure you to be something you didn't want. shinichiro knew you would be a perfect queen, far better than all the princesses his council wanted him to marry, but he would never pressure you to be one. 

you tried to move your hips a bit, the feeling of being full was a bit overwhelming to you, taking shinichiro from his thoughts. he patted your head, a small smile gracing his lips. “you know you can not move yet, dearest. i am finishing these papers, and when i’m finished i promise to take care of your needs, alright?” 

a nod was what you could give him, and shinichiro tried to fight the urge to smile and kiss you — you were too adorable, and such cuteness had enchanted him since the first time you looked at him with big and teary eyes.

he couldn't wait until he would finally call you his for everyone to hear. 

— 

princess emma was the cutest person that ever graced the earth. 

you didn't know if it was because she grew up alongside three loud older brothers, but she was a delight to have around. always trying to make everyone feel better, or even taking care of them — and you were always there to remind herself to take care of her, too. it was a advice that you were supposed to follow too, but you were always forgetting about it. 

and the tears on her face made your heart hurt, too. she wasn't your blood sister, but you were the one who raised her — you first started to take care of the princess when she was three, almost four, and you were there for her when she hit every single milestone of a woman's life. 

but you weren't ready for her first heartbreak. because you knew you were, indirectly, the cause of it.

“he said… that w-we can n-not see e-each so m-m-much…” oh, ken. if you knew, you would never have said such things to him. you were only trying to prevent him from the same pain you were feeling, but it seemed as if you brought it earlier to him. your hands stroked the princess' blonde curls, trying to soothe her, while emma's head was resting on your lap. 

it was funny, wasn't it? how both you, shinichiro, emma and draken were bound to the same destiny. it seemed as if manjiro was the only one saved from it, and you hoped he would find happiness with someone he could be happy with. 

“did i… did i do something wrong, y/n?” the despair in her voice made you flinch, and if you could, you would feel her pain for her. you didn’t mind suffering twice, even thrice, if that meant nor ken or emma would be like that.

“of course not, emma.” your voice was gentle, as you remembered queen sakurako's to be, and you hoped you could ease her heart. “you two are young, but i know ken loves you. and, sometimes, just loving someone is not enough. you do not understand it yet, but carrying such a title like yours, it is necessary to make some sacrifices.” 

the sacrifice of one's happiness wasn't supposed to be acceptable, but if you and your brother had to watch both king and princess marry another person and be happy, so the people of the country would be happy, at least you would have each other. 

what was the happiness of just one in comparison with a whole kingdom? 

“this is why brother does not marry you?” 

your hand suddenly stopped its ministrations, and emma rose her head from your lap, a curious glint in her eyes. 

“he denied every single one proposition that reached the council, and i think it is because he wants to marry you.” she explained, and you tried to not raise false hopes inside your chest. “i want him to marry you, so you can be my sister i can marry ken.” she pouted, and you chuckled, bringing her smaller body closer to yours. 

your head rested on top of hers, mind spiralling with thoughts. as much as you wanted to believe emma's words that shinichiro was denying all proposals because of you, the most realistic thing was to believe that he just hadn't found someone worthy of being his queen. what you two had was bound to end someday, and both of you would move on from this childhood love, have families and be happy. 

you kissed her head. “what if i bring some sweets to cheer you up?” you proposed. maybe you couldn't feel her pain for her, but you could try to amenize it. 

emma nodded excitedly and you giggled at her reaction, making your way to the kitchens. 

you wish you hadn't.

— 

“did you hear that the king finally accepted a marriage proposal?” was what you heard when you first put a step inside the kitchens. “he is going to announce it in a week.”

you stopped in your tracks, heart racing. that couldn't be true. he would've told, wouldn't he? you were one of his best friends before being his lover.

“i heard it was from princess akane. she is really beautiful, is not she?” the main cooker commented, unaware of the sound of your heart shattering inside your chest. 

“and she is kind, too!” her friend added. “she will be the best queen our kingdom will have. we always knew the king was just waiting for the best bride— oh, y/n, we did not see you there, darling. what the princess want?” 

you tried to smile at them, fighting the tears. 

princess akane was everything you weren't, and even if the thought of shinichiro loving another was too much for you to bear without wanting to scream from agony, you were happy for him. you only heard good things from princess akane, and you would gladly step away so shinichiro could focus on her — you would never be a mistress, after all. 

“i was thinking about some strawberry tarts. the princess woke up a bit sad today.” 

—

you were late. 

shinichiro tried not to think much about it. he was aware that something transposed between emma and ken in the morning, and you were probably attending to his sister's needs or comforting your brother. he would never make you choose your family over him, but it left him worried, nonetheless — you were quite distant throughout the day, and he was afraid something worse had happened. 

he couldn't pinpoint what he was feeling, but it wasn't a good thing. he felt as if he was in the shore, watching as a big wave, with an enormous destructive power, coming, and he couldn't do anything to prevent it from destroying everything he held dear to his heart. 

his door opening put his mind at ease, but you were too quiet — not coming to sit on his lap or even hugging him from behind, peppering his face with kisses, like you always did. shinichiro raised his eyes from his paperwork, and the look you were giving him was worrisome. you were determined, but it seemed as if such determination was eating you alive. the agony on your eyes could rival atlas' one, and shinichiro wondered what you were carrying on your shoulders. “y/n, dearest, what happen—” 

“we should stop this.” 

“what?” he asked, promptly rising from his chair and walking towards you. shinichiro couldn't believe what he was hearing. yesterday you seemed fine, cumming on his cock twice and even leaving him to come inside you and fill you up — whispering how much you loved him and how good he made you feel.

“it is what you heard, your highness.” the politeness of your words was strange, like the first taste of a foreign fruit. but you would grow used to it — he wasn’t your shinichiro anymore. “i no longer love you, therefore i am ending what we have.”

“you are lying.” you never saw shinichiro looking so desperate in his life, and you bit your lower lip in order to keep the tears away. “you love me. what are you saying? what happened, y/n?” 

“i only used you, your highness.” you tried again, a lie you rehearsed so many times inside your head before meeting him. “to g-give my brother a better life. now he has o-one and i… i do not need you any more.” you cursed the wobble of your lip and the wet on your cheeks — shinichiro would know you were lying. 

and he did. 

the feeling of his hands on your face was a cruel reminder that soon they would be doing the same for another woman, that you would never be yours to hold again — princess akane was really a lucky woman, and you wished she could cherish what she was going to have. 

you shook your head, getting away from shinichiro's warm fingers. the hurt on his face was too much for you to bear, your feet wanting to take you back to your chambers as soon as you could. 

but the king stopped you, a hand holding your wrist as if you were made of glass. “why are you doing this, my love?” 

the pet name and the tenderness in his voice brought even more tears to your eyes and you closed them, failing to notice shinichiro's own tears streaming down his face. you were so close to him yet so far — he felt as if he was running eternally, yet he couldn't reach you. 

“to prevent us from more heartbreak.” you tried to keep your voice calm, but it was proving to be impossible — not with shinichiro's warmth so close to you. “i love you, shinichiro, but i will never be able to call you mine. i have come to terms with this already, but i will not keep you like an oath while i am nothing but a dirty secret to you.” 

shinichiro didn't understand what you were talking about. it didn't make sense on his head, not when he already had a ring and an almost finished speech to proclaim his undying love for you for the whole kingdom to hear in the following week. 

“this is over, your highness. please, let me go.” you tried to push your hand back towards you, but shin's hold only tightened around it. you took a deep breath — it would hurt to walk away, but it would be a pain that you would grow used to it. 

another scar to your already scarred heart.

“please, shin.” you whispered this time, silent tears wetting your cheeks even more. 

“i can not let the love of my life walk away.” he tried to reason with you, because nothing was making sense inside his head. surely something happened that made you think it was better to not act on your feelings for him anymore. “what happened, y/n?” he asked, resting his head in the crook of your neck, arms hugging you by your middle. 

a single kiss on your skin was what made you break down, and shinichiro held you while you cried. every tear and every sob that left your body was like the enemy's arrow piercing his skin, and nothing hurt more than seeing you suffer without being able to ease it.

when your sobs became just whimpers, you started to talk — but your mind was already made up. “i do not want to be an obstacle for you to love your future wife, your highness.” you smiled sadly, feeling him stiff on your neck. “i came to terms with the fact that i will see you falling in love with someone, and i am happy for you already.” you turned on his hold, holding his face and brushing your lips against his. 

a kiss that would be the last, that tasted of tears and sorrow. 

you broke the kiss, and before shinichiro could say or react, you ran from him — hushed steps and a new wave of fresh tears down your face.

the king could only watch as you fled his study, as if you were a criminal. and maybe you were.

you broke his heart like nobody did, after all. 

— 

“oh, lady y/n! there you are!” you heard the voice of one of emma's maids calling for you and you tried to clean your wet cheeks. you couldn't reach your room before you broke down, crunching down on the ground and trying to disappear. 

you nodded, getting up from your place near a window. “does the princess need me?” 

the maid nodded, and you took a deep breath, smiling. you could put your suffering aside if your princess needed you — her wellbeing had always come before yours, and you needed to learn how to live with that pain. you followed the maid, your steps not as quickly as they used to be, your body still trembling with a few sobs. the gazes of the maid made you feel even worse than you were feeling, but you thanked her when you reached the princess' room. 

emma was sitting on her bed, as if she knew what had happened. “some servants saw you, y/n.” you couldn't believe you were feeling so small under the voice of a twelve-year-old, but you felt like a child being caught by her mother. “why did you choose to suffer alone?”  why? you never tried to know why you always preferred to suffer alone. maybe it was because people always needed you to be strong so they could receive your comfort — or maybe it was because you never had someone who would be willing to comfort you.

“i do not know, emma.” you explained. “i am sorry.” 

she smiled at you, patting her lap. “you comforted me this morning, so i think it's time for me to return the favor.” 

you shouldn't have followed her orders — but emma was your princess, and it would be treason to not do what she said. besides the tears of sadness because of your situation with shinichiro, you were happy. it seemed like you raised emma well, at least. 

with your head on her lap and her hand on your hair, you cried for what you lost — a lover, a friend, a future. you always knew you and shinichiro would never be together as a couple. it wasn't possible. you were just a maid, someone that was the daughter of a prostitute. you weren't a match for the king, and you would never be. but you were stubborn and hopeful, and always dreamed of walking down the aisle with ken by your side to meet shin in front of the altar. now, however, you would see another woman doing what you've always dreamed about. 

you didn't notice when emma helped you change into sleeping gowns and lay down with you on her bed, just like she used to do when she was younger — her head safely tucked in your chest, her arms hugging you as if you were her personal pillow. 

“i don't know what is hurting you, y/n, but i know it'll pass. or i will fight it for you.” 

you tried to smile at her, because it wouldn't. it would only pass if you left the castle for good, to not see shinichiro falling in love with someone else. 

maybe that was what you were supposed to do. 

— 

everyone could notice how the king wasn’t being himself. 

the staff was buzzing with news of a marriage, but the king didn’t look as happy as a future groom should be. he didn’t smile at them anymore, always locked inside his study — only his close companions being allowed to be there with him. nobody knew what happened to make the king behave like that, but all the staff could see how the princess’ nanny wasn’t on her best days either. 

you tried only to stay with emma, always trying to convince her that you two should have lunch and dinner at the balcony, or having breakfast at the garden — you said it would be better for her to not see ken for a while, but it was because you didn’t want to see shinichiro. you knew that as soon as your eyes landed on him, you would immediately ask for his forgiveness and crawl back to his arms. but you shouldn’t and you couldn’t. everyone only talked about how excited they were with the alliance between the sano and inui dynasties, and you wouldn’t be the one who would end it. 

you hadn’t heard from shinichiro since the day you broke things off with him, but you knew how he was because of emma and, especially, draken. it seemed like your little brother was making sure that he would always mention the king when you two were talking about — how swollen his eyes seemed during breakfast, or how he hurt himself during a sparring session with wakasa, saying that he wanted you to patch him up. your heart always broke knowing how your actions were breaking him and his heart, but whenever someone said anything about princess akane and her beauty, you knew you were doing the best thing.

six days had passed, and you dreaded when the seventh would arrive — the day when shinichiro would announce his engagement with the foreign princess. 

you reached your room, hoping that ken would be already sleeping, as you always made sure to leave before he was awake and arriving when he was already sleeping to avoid talking about the king — because you knew what he did to you, he did to shinichiro too — but the laugh coming from inside it and the light coming from the crack of the door told you otherwise. 

entering it with careful steps, you prayed it wasn’t the king with him, but you doubt shinichiro would be laughing like that. 

inside the room were your brother, prince manjiro and takashi — the three musketeers, as you nicknamed them. you smiled warmly at the boys, and ken got up to hug you, kissing your cheeks and holding you against his chest. you didn’t know what could have triggered him to act like that in front of his friends, but you smiled and hugged him back, surprised at how his muscles seemed bigger than before. 

“what is this all about, kenny?” you asked after a few moments of him hugging you, and you giggled at the boy’s chuckles coming from the table you two had in the room. 

your brother didn’t answer you at first, and you looked up to see a tint of red painting his cheeks. you looked puzzled at him and he turned his head to the side, which earned more chuckles and giggles from you and his friends. “it is just… you will look beautiful as a bride.” that only made you more confused. 

“takashi said he’ll make your dress, big sis y/n.” you heard the prince saying, and you tried to give a confused look through ken’s body. 

“if she wants, that is.” takashi replied. 

“well.” you tried to get away from ken’s hold but he only tightened his grip on your waist, despite your confused whines. “i would love for takashi to make me my wedding dress, but i do not even have a groom to marry.” 

“you will have if you say yes, y/n.” 

you didn’t hear the sound of the door opening nor the heavy footsteps entering your shared room with your brother, probably muffled by the sounds of boyish laughter from his friends — but now the way ken was holding was making sense. because if he wasn’t, you were sure you would've run from the room as soon as your eyes landed on king shinichiro.

he looked like a broken man, as if when you broke up with him, you had taken away all the good things in his life with you. however, you could still see a glint of hope dancing in his onix eyes — you never saw them so lifeless before, not even when his mother died, and you couldn’t forgive yourself for being the cause of it. you didn’t know how much time you two spent just looking at each other, but you were taken away from your trance when the three boys left your room and you heard the princess’ giggles from the corridor. 

“what is this about, your highness?” he looked like a rejected puppy at the sound of his title instead of his name, but he walked towards you, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when you didn’t flinch or walked away from him. shinichiro was determined to walk out of your room with a positive answer, because he didn’t know what to do if you didn’t accept his marriage proposal — he would do anything to be yours again, even give up on his title and handover the kingdom to manjiro. 

“exactly what it looks like, my love.” he answered calmly, watching as your eyes got glossy at his proximity and the endearment name. you didn’t deserve such treatment, in your opinion, but shinichiro had always been a kind man — but you didn’t deserve to be treated with kindness. he got on one knee and your eyes widened, hands trembling in front of you when he took a beautiful ring from his shirt pocket. it was a simple gold band, but with a clear stone in the middle of it. 

was it the ring he was going to propose to princess akane? was he just rehearsing how he would propose to her? 

“i love you.” he took your right hand on his free one, bringing it to rest on his chest. you could feel how quick his heartbeat was, and knew its pace only mirrored yours. “these days without you were the worst i had in my life, and to know they only happened because i was a coward only makes me angry at myself.” you looked down at him puzzled, because it had never been his fault. he was just fulfilling his duties, and you would never make him choose between the kingdom and you. “i was supposed to do that months ago, before any weird rumors started to appear.” 

he held your hold even more tight against his chest, as if it was the only thing keeping from anchored and not letting him from breaking down. “marry me, y/n, and ease the pain in my heart.” 

your first instinct was to refuse. you just shook your head, eyes closed and tears streaming down your cheeks. “i c-can not, shinichiro… w-what about princess a-akane? the whole kingdom expects her, not m-me.” you managed to say through your tears, their flow only growing when you felt his hands tenderly holding your face. his duty was to marry a princess of noble blood and have more noble heirs that would take his place and his siblings’ place, not marry a prostitute's daughter that would taint the sano bloodline with her impure blood. 

his warm chuckle reached your ears and you slowly opened your eyes, his fingers wiping the tears that were falling through your eyelashes. “there is no princess akane, my silly girl. i’ve refused her marriage proposal last week.” he reassured you, touching his forehead to yours. “and i do not care about who the kingdom expects me to marry. i am already a good king, and having someone like you as my queen will only make me better.”

you only nodded, lips brushing his, but not fully kissing him. you knew that, if you accepted, your relationship would face a lot of hardships — the older counselors wouldn’t accept the union at first, people would look down at you, because they wanted a princess and not a nanny, and maybe they would never accept you as their queen. but would you be able to let the love of your life walk away again? 

“i will ease the pain in your chest, shin. i will marry you and be yours for the rest of my days on this earth.” 

— 

your life made a 180-degree turn. 

shinichiro announced your engagement first to close friends and family. you never saw takeomi and wakasa smiling so brightly, nor did benkei ever hug you so tightly as he did. it was good to be accepted by your lover’s circle of close friends, even though they always knew about your shared feelings — but they were nobles, and nobles with a great influence in the kingdom’s counselors, and having their support would only do good. 

emma started to cry when you showed her the ring that once belonged to her stepmother, and even mikey teared up. you hugged them as tightly as you could, and shinichiro soon joined the embrace — they had always been your family, but now it was more real. you would marry their brother, it wasn’t just a daydream that you had while combing through the princess' blonde locks. even after the hug ended, emma still stayed between your arms. you knew what that represented to her, and the first thing you would do as queen was to fight for hers and ken’s happiness. 

after them, it was now time for the young knights and companions of the prince to know about it. you and shinichiro left your brother last at his request, and you wondered what your fiance was planning. the cheerful squeals that left the boys mouths were so cute to see, and takashi was already making plans with hakkai about your dress — pah and peh were excited about the party, keisuke, haruchiyo and kazutora already thinking about the beautiful women with beautiful gowns. mana and luna, takashi’s little sisters, and yuzuha, hakkai’s older sister, were already thinking about their dresses, and you couldn't wait until you could put them under your wing. 

the last one was ken, of course. shinichiro insisted on having a private dinner with him, and you giggled seeing the flush on your little brother’s face — he knew about the whole engagement thing, and you wondered what shinichiro wanted to do. he didn’t need to try to impress your brother or anything like that, because ken already saw him as a type of hero since he was a small kid. 

dinner was pleasant, and you smiled seeing how shin chose all ken’s favorite foods and sweets as the menu. your brother seemed flattered by it, and it was good seeing a happy glint in his eyes — because when you were suffering, he was suffering too. you knew he and emma were still not talking as much as they did before, because he was trying to get rid of his feelings for the princess, but you hoped that now, he wouldn’t feel this hopeless.

shinichiro squeezed your hand under the table, and you looked at his face, puzzled, he just gave you one of his boyish grins. “so, ken.” 

“yes, your highness?” you brother replied with his mouth stuffed with chocolate pudding and you almost cringed at his lack of manners. 

but shinichiro just smiled. “you know that tomorrow i will announce my engagement to your sister.” ken nodded, a sparkle of excitement shining in his dark eyes. it made you happy, to know what being queen, your brother wouldn’t have to need to worry about anything else in his life — that was what you always wanted, to give him what you hadn’t growing up. “but i also want to announce two more things, but i need your permission to do that.” 

shin almost giggled seeing two similar pairs of eyes looking at him with the same expression. you and ken were more alike than you could ever realize. “and what are they, your highness?” 

shinichiro only brought your linked hands to rest on top of the table, and you felt your cheeks warm. you had always been affectionate with him, but not in front of others. it was something you would need to grow used to, especially after tomorrow. “i want to make you a duke.” as soon as the words left shin’s mouth you felt tears in your eyes and, before you or ken could protest, the king continued. “and make you my sister’s betrothed.” shinichiro squeezed your hand again, hearing the quiet sniffles that were leaving your mouth. “what do you say, draken?” 

you knew it was your brother's decision to make, but you were nodding as soon as he looked at you for guidance — this was more than you ever dreamed of giving him. you just wanted him to have a good and happy life, a life that he didn't need to worry about if he would have food to eat the next day, a life where he would sleep and wake up in warm blankets and a fluffy mattress. being a knight would guarantee that, but shinichiro was transforming your deepest dreams into reality. he was willing to give your brother something that would make life and his offspring's life so much better, and giving a chance of being happy with someone he loved. 

“yes, of course, your highness, i could not dream of anything better than this!” the smile on both of your faces could rival the sun, and the tears were coming down your eyes freely. oh, how you loved shinichiro — you couldn't put into words your feelings for him, and you doubt you ever could someday. “does that mean my sister will be a duchess? i do not want her to suffer with any bad repercussions about your engagement to her, your highness.”

“you are a smart boy, kenny.” shinichiro said while he wiped the tears away from your cheeks. “this will make both yours and your sister's life easier, and this is the least i can do for you both.” 

“stop this, shin, you are making me cry!” 

the room was filled with laughter, and you swore you never felt so much happiness inside your chest. ken left the room to find emma, and you found yourself trapped between the king's arms, his hands stroking your hair and his voice almost luring you to sleep. tomorrow would be the hardest day of your life, you were sure of it.

the day shinichiro announced his engagement to you was a difficult one. a happy one, but still difficult. 

as expected, no one believed that their king was going to exchange the marriage with a prestigious princess that would bring riches to the kingdom to marry the princess’ nanny. the counselors were furious with shinichiro’s choice and you could see it in their faces — but he held your hand through the whole time, and trying to make you less nervous and anxious. that seemed to work for a while, but then, you started to hear the whispers. the staff in the castle knew what your childhood had been, who your mother was and where did you come from, and they didn’t seem happy to know that someone that was born even below them was going to be their queen. 

the people took it better than you thought, especially the lowborns just like yourself. the nobles were quite skeptical about the arrangement, thinking that someday the king would grow tired of you and they could make their daughters a royal mistress, but nobody except you and shinichiro knew how deep your love for each other was. but they grew into their idea, nonetheless. in the end of the day, shinichiro was still the king and, if they wanted to fall into his good graces, they would need to accept you. 

the acceptance with the nobles came easier than with the palace’s staff, but you couldn’t do much. they would start to like you in their own terms, and you tried to shield yourself with those who had always liked you — takeomi, benkei, wakasa, princess emma and prince manjiro, your brother and the boys, mana, luna, yuzuha. they made your days better, and you couldn’t be more grateful. emma and the girls were helping you with etiquette lessons, and how you should act as a queen, takeomi taught you the basics of the kingdom, such as its economy and difficulties, while benkei and wakasa — and sometimes the prince, your brother and the boys, too — were helping you with self defense and horse-riding. 

shinichiro knew you wouldn’t need any of that to be a good queen, but it was cute to see you so invested in your new duties. 

while you were busy with your queenly duties, you were also making the preparations for the wedding. shinichiro let everything in your hands, since it would be your day — both your wedding and coronation would happen in the same afternoon, and he wanted everything to be to your liking. sometimes he would join you, giving his opinion about the decoration or the flowers. emma would always chastise him, saying how both he and draken didn’t know a thing about a woman’s mind, and that you were always more rational than them. 

you only giggled every time such a thing happened. shinichiro would playfully roll his eyes, watching with fond eyes how emma and draken would bicker as if they were already married. 

as promised, takashi was the one who made your dress. for a knight, he had such kind and talented hands, and he didn’t let anyone but himself work on it or even see your dress. you wanted to see shinichiro’s reaction seeing you for the first time in the aisle, even though you probably knew what was going to be — his boyish grin trying to hide the tears coming from his eyes. you were also excited to see ken’s reaction, since he was the one who was going to walk you down until you met your future husband.

your brother's reaction to you as a bride was everything you expected of him — him fighting back his tears while he tried to smile at you, but sobbing on your shoulders when you hugged him. takashi made sure that the dress was comfortable enough for you to be able to move freely, especially to hug others, but he still kept the fashion aspects the kingdom demanded of you. if his career as a knight wouldn't prevail, you would make him the official royal tailor. 

ken's arm intertwined with yours was what kept you away from walking away — the thousand pair of eyes on your figure when the doors of the chapel opened was too much, but you could see shinichiro waiting for you at the end of the aisle. you kept your gaze fixated on him for the most part, watching as his shoulders trembled and takeomi gave them some pats, the crown on top of his black curls shining brighter than anything. sometimes you would steal some glances at your brother, still not believing that he was now a duke, and you were going to be a queen. 

your brother offered you to the king, tears streaming down his face. you were glad you had a veil — albeit thin — covering your face, because you were sure you were a worse crying mess than your brother and your future husband. shinichiro kissed your hand, leading you to the designated place. “you look so beautiful.” he whispered in your ear while the priest said his blessings, and you giggled. you just squeezed his hand, that was still intertwined with yours, not knowing if you would be able to say anything without crying. 

the priest said his blessings over the rings you two would share as testimony of the alliance being made through your marriage, and shinichiro was finally able to get a glimpse of your face. emma took the veil out of your face with grace, and now everyone could see how bad you were crying — it was a bit embarrassing, just a few minutes from being crowned queen crying in front of such a big crowd like that, but you could only focus on shinichiro and the smile on his face. you two exchanged rings, kissing each other's hands after it, and you knew now it was time. 

your brother was the one carrying the crown and the sceptre, and in the place of the priest were now two chairs — yours and shinichiro’s thrones. he sat on his and you kneeled, doing what emma had taught you. the kingdom hasn't had a queen coronation since the day queen sakuraro married king makoto, shin’s and mikey's parents, but you weren’t even born to remember it. you knew all the eyes were on your figure, but you kept yours glued at shinichiro’s hands. 

“look at me, my love.” he whispered, hand softly caressing your chin to lift your face. you were looking at your husband now, and the thought made your heart race even more. husband and king. 

the act started, a tradition made long before you and shinichiro even thought of existing — you had the words memorialized by heart, and you said them with ease. it started with an oath, of how you were going to dedicate your life to the kingdom and its people, then a profession of your love for your new husband. it ended with shinichiro putting the crown on top of your head, and handling the sceptre. your husband helped you to get up, mana and luna ready to assist you with your dress so you could sit on your throne without any complications. with linked hands, you first looked at shinichiro, who was already looking at you, hearing the crowd cheering for their new queen — just after a wink from him that you had courage enough to look at the crowd, seeing some familiar faces, but all of them seemed eager and overjoyed with your coronation. 

—

“i can not believe you are my wife.” shinichiro said as soon as you two arrived in your now shared chambers. 

the feast was amazing. the food was, as always, amazing too — you almost cried seeing all the cooks addressing you as their queen, making all your favorite foods and smiling when you praised them. it was still strange to have people bowing at you when you were the one bowing at them once, or hearing how pompous their words were for you. but both you and shinichiro had fun, laughing and dancing with each other or with your friends. 

but the night was over, and now you were in your new rooms. 

it would be strange not sharing a room with your brother, and you knew you would miss his company — but ken would be just a few floors below you, until he came of age and received his own state. you knew he was excited about that, because then he would be able to marry emma and have his happily ever after. 

“wife, wife, wife.” shinichiro chanted while you tried to take the jewels and other ornaments from your body, taking care to not damage any of them, especially your crown. 

“and you are my husband.” you replied, getting up from your dressing table and walking to the bed, where your husband was laying comfortably — he had lost his coat in the feast, only wearing his white shirt and trousers. his cheeks were slightly flushed due to alcohol consumption, and his eyes were shining with the purest emotions you ever saw. “then be a good husband and help me take this dress out, will you? i am aware you can not wait to see what is beneath it.” 

ever since you were betrothed to him, you two stopped seeing each other in more intimate situations. both because you were too busy and just wanted to sleep peacefully when night arrived, but also because shinichiro didn’t want anyone to think he was marrying you just because you had sex and you were forcing him to do it. 

he was on his feet in no time, skillful hands undoing the laces on the back of your corset, doing movements that he knew like the back of his heart. you missed having shinichiro’s fingers on your back — they were always gently, ghosting your skin as if he was afraid of breaking you. 

he finished his ministrations with a kiss on the nape of your neck, hands wrapping themselves around your waist and bringing you to rest on his chest. he sighed contently on your neck and you smiled. you would never have thought you would marry him, like your teenage self always dreamed about. it was too good to be true, and you were afraid someone would try to take such happiness from you.

“i can not believe you are finally mine.” he said after a few moments of feeling your skin under his fingertips, lips pressing light kisses in the exposed skin of your neck and shoulder. 

you giggled at the feelings of his lips on your warm skin. “i have always been yours, shin. it is just official now.” you turned around on his hold, holding his head between your hands. he kissed your palm and you smiled at him.

“like i have always been yours too, y/n.” he confessed, resting his forehead against yours. you closed your eyes, lips brushing carefully against his. “can i kiss my wife?” he asked playfully and you just squished his cheeks before pressing your lips against his. 

you didn’t notice how you arrived in your bed, only focused on the feeling of shinichiro’s hands roaming your body and how good his kisses tasted now that they weren’t prohibited. your back hit the mattress, your dress already on the ground, leaving you only in your undergarments — shinichiro was, too, only with his trousers on, his shirt on the floor alongside your dress. “you are the most beautiful woman of this kingdom.” he whispered against your lips, mouth traveling south to suck on your collarbone, hands cupping your clothed breasts. “the poets will sing of your beauty for years to come, my love.” 

he always knew how to make you embarrassed and a blushing mess under him with his sweet words. 

“and the girls will dream of having a love story like ours, shin, just as the poets will write.”

— 

you would never grow tired of seeing your husband interacting with your daughter. 

you were sure sakurako was conceived on the night of marriage, if your calculations were right — she was such a blessing in both yours and shinichiro’s lives, arriving in a snowy day, with a strong cry and big black eyes and a small tuft of hair inherited from her father too. as soon as he held the baby girl in his arms, his mother’s name came from his mouth. you didn’t care, of course. you knew queen sakuharo just from a couple of years before she died, and she had always been nothing but kind to you, being one of the main reasons why you became emma’s nanny. 

naming your daughter after her was the best thing to do. 

shinichiro was the best father in the world. you knew he had experience with children due to his younger siblings, but it was different. sakurako was nothing but a daddy’s girl — a mommy’s girl too, but her bond with shinichiro was something else. she always smiled the brightest when he was around, always babbled more excitedly when she was with him than when she was with her uncles and aunt, and always wanted to be in his arms.

but she was still a mommy’s girl, after all. 

“i can not believe she did not want to be held by me.” shinichiro pouted from his place on the bed, arms dramatically over his head. 

you held sakurako closer to your chest, rocking her while you walked around your chambers. “do not be dramatic, husband. she loves you, but sometimes only mama can comfort her.” you looked down, smiling at her sleeping form. she wasn’t even one year old yet, two months away from her first birthday, but you could tell that despite having shinichiro’s looks, her personality was from you. her small hand was holding tightly the neckline of your dress, her cheeks pressed against your collarbone. 

averting your eyes to your husband, you smiled seeing him already looking at you. shinichiro never stopped looking at you as if it was the first time he saw you, always a lovestruck and boyish glint shining on his eyes even after almost two years of marriage. “you are such a good mother for her.” he whispered, getting up from the bed and  embracing you gently, to not startle the toddler between your arms. he couldn’t understand how his daughter could find comfort in the fabrics you used as clothing, but maybe it was your smell that calmed her — you always smelled like home to him, and sakurako probably inherited that from him too. 

you never thought about your motherly skills, not like your husband seemed to do. you had a previous experience with both your brother, princess emma and prince manjiro, but they weren’t infants when you started to take care of them — well, ken was, but you still had help from the ladies in the brothel until he started to walk and talk. “you think so, shin?” you bounced sakurako a bit before leaning on your husband's chest, head resting on his shoulder while his arms rested in your hips. 

he hummed. “sakurako thinks so, too. everyone does, and everyone is amazed how good you are with her.” he praised you, eyes observing his sleeping daughter. “maybe a little prince would be good now, do not you think?” you gasped softly, eyes widened at the thought — but it wasn’t an unpleasant idea. “emma and ken, and mikey are too young to have children, and i doubt my friends are going to marry soon.” he argued, kissing your cheek. “sakurako needs a company.” 

mana and luna were already her company, but you understood where your husband was coming from. “well, maybe i could drop her off to her nannies if you want to start now?” you suggested, giggling at the feeling of his lips nibbling the skin of your neck. 

“can we stay like this for a little while?” he suggested back and you nodded, closing your eyes and leaning even more on his body. shinichiro kissed your forehead, humming a lullaby you recognized as the same one you used to sing for emma — and sometimes ken — when she had a nightmare and couldn’t sleep. 

you were right. shinichiro couldn’t wait until the poets wrote about the everlasting love between the two of you.

for aria — i don't have words how important you are for me, bby. you're my twin, someone that is always here to listen to me ranting about my crushes or here to listen about my heartbreaks, someone that have such a beautiful light that i know brightens all the room you're in. you deserve only the best things the world can offer, okay? happy 21st birthday, my twin!!! i can't believe we're finally the same age ehehe i love you so much, and you know this!!!