The Lamest Dude That Came From School

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When I was young and stuff like this happened, I wanted to throw bricks through windows, fire guns, or set police cars ablaze. Hell, I felt this way when a friend or family member got thrown in jail for practically nothing, so it was only amplified times one hundred when someone was murdered unjustly. I'd cry, letting the rage fester up inside of me like a nocuous contagion, until I could barely even look at anyone I didn't know without wanting to hurt them. I began to despise the living creatures around me. I just wanted to leave this place, because I didn't feel like I belonged.

I was conquered by ANGER and ruled by FEAR.

Truth is, you'll always make the worst decisions when you're angry and you'll wuss out of making decisions at all when you're fearful– there's no middle ground. What we're being faced with on this day is another form of oppression, and it doesn't matter what color you are, this situation exist as it does to make us all feel helpless and wrathful. The fact that someone could so easily walk away after murder is indomitably terror-striking. How are you suppose to react, though?

Me? I'll continue to mourn Mike Brown and others, but I'll be damned if I 1) let my anger get the better of me, thus causing me to argue, or throw venomous energy towards anyone who doesn't agree, and 2) be afraid. Fuck being afraid. That's valuable time I could be spending being ME. We are all better than "just being afraid." I feel like our time could be better spent doing other things.

How about: let's be visionaries. Lets be thought leaders. Lets build things, and inspire folks who need encouragement to bring more alacrity to the world. Let's teach our kids and the youngsters to be accepting of everyone. Let's respectfully work toward getting some fucking cameras on the authorities. Everyone's well within their rights to feel violent, but burning down buildings, disrespecting others who don't agree with you, it's just adding to the dismay, because now the conversation is being diverted to your reactions as opposed to the actual murder. Lose the anger and disregard the fear.

I know that at any given moment, a cop can roll up and blast my brains on the pavement, and walk away unpunished. I know that I can get thrown in a cage and forgotten at the blink of an eye. Fuck that, WE know this. It's been this way. But does that mean I should let it halt my ascension? Or should I use this as motivation to put myself in a position to make a difference?