You know, like Whomthegodswoulddestroy, but porn.

This is some 2am upstairs apartment behavior right there

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

Everyone’s going on about having a ‘traditional, old-fashioned Christmas’, but when I burst into the house covered in green paint and demand a champion strike my head from my shoulders with my own axe so that I may return the blow next year, I’m ‘scaring Grandma’.

I object to the diminishment of this opossum’s OBVIOUS theatrical skill and training

In retrospect it was high key insane that they had the activity feed embedded into your dash board like that

It’s why you never wanted a post to escape containment here. It literally made your dashboard unusable for days or longer, obscured by notifications that didn’t even stack. It was wild. I miss it.

Wizard Fact #42: The real reason you're not supposed to stick a fork into your toaster is because you might stab one of the wizards in there

and they will instantaneously retaliate with a level 8 Chain Lightning, as is their right

its the last month of 2023 so i’m just gonna say it: what the absolute fuck was that

It's embarrassing that it took me till I was in my 30's to actually discover who the lead singer of 30 Seconds to Mars is, but every time I think about it I'm like "no way, no way"

Am I just showing my age, that the first time they announced Leto in a movie we were all like "the 30 Seconds to Mars guy??"