「 ✩ * º ╳ 」spiteful

luke hemmings, pansexual, male + he/him ― hey look, it’s malakai “kai” kings ! they’re 25 years old, they’ve lived in shrike heights for their whole life, and they’re currently working at a new chapter. i heard they’re pretty cataclysmic, but i think they’re so astute at the same time. can they make it out alive? || parker, 24, he/they

click HERE for biography (please note of trigger warnings)

click HERE for statistics 

click HERE for wanted connections

chella man, queer, genderqueer + he&him ― hey look, it’s finnley wu ! they’re 23 years old, they’ve lived in shrike heights for ten years, and they’re currently skin deep. i heard they’re pretty gullible, but i think they’re so benevolent at the same time. can they make it out alive?

click HERE for biography (please note of trigger warnings)

click HERE for statistics

location: art murmur

open to anyone [ @shrikestart​ ]

By some stupid mistake, Rosaline had ended up working all by herself for the last three hours of her shift, which also just so happened to be the time when all of Shrike decided to come in and buy their stupid erasers. If she had a choice, she would actually be working at Snapshot, but they had rejected her; this was as close to working with film as she would get, and the pay, at least, wasn’t so bad. It was enough to keep her comfortably in a small studio apartment, and when she had Jamie, she could buy him the toys he pointed at as they passed the windows of shops.

That was enough to keep her going like the energizer bunny, and with her arms laden with rolls of canvas, she bustled over to the corner of the shop to stack them in the shelf. “Be with you in a minute!” she called out, trying not to lose her balance as she reached to the higher shelf. “Fuck,” she mumbled, getting up on her tiptoes and just barely sliding it in. She turned. “Okay. I’m here.” 

to be honest , malakai didn’t know why he found himself in this shitty store surrounded by shitty things . surely , he could find what he needed elsewhere . wasn’t like art was his forte , or at least , not this kind . but the blonde was over specific after all and he had recalled seeing a specific journal that he grew a liking to and merely unconvinced himself of purchasing of over and over again .  writing was just some lost dream anyway , lost and buried away with many others to count . 

but none of that was of worry once rosaline managed to make an appearance  as a bit of a hot mess . the reaction caused for a subtle smirk to peer on the blonde’s lips , crossing his arms over his chest loosely . “ looks like you’re having quite the day , ” 

location: starstrike

open [ @shrikestart· ]

Vikram was determined to learn how to bowl. They had lied their way into the job at Starstrike—though, unbeknownst to him, no one there actually cared if he could bowl—and since then, Vikram had wanted to turn the lie into a truth. Unfortunately, even with the low pressure of a quiet Thursday night and three empty lanes between them and the only other people in to bowl, Vikram still threw gutter ball after gutter ball. When someone else walked in, he sighed, giving up for the time being and instead resuming his post behind the counter. 

It was mind-numbingly boring, even on the good days, and Vikram had long since given up on trying to put on his stupid, peppy customer-service voice every time someone walked in. He leaned against the counter on his forearms, snapping his gum in his mouth as he watched the new customer walk up. “Welcome to Starstrike, where every strike makes you a star. What size can I get ya?” they deadpanned, their eyebrow raising slightly. As more people filed in, it seemed that this person was the beginning of the evening rush of post-dinner bowlers, and they settled in for a long night. 

as much as finnley would like to ignore it , he wasn’t exactly a fan of bowling alleys of anything of the such .  too loud and far too bright . frankly , he couldn’t concentrate on anything . but alas , the people pleaser in him ran far more than admitting he didn’t like this location and be a let down for the one that actually suggested it . truly , not even the food was good . and finnley wasn’t all that picky or at least , that’s what he told himself . 

so with a sigh and much reluctance , finn was able to move one foot in front of the other to get that much closer to his destination . the only thing more draining than pretending starstrike wasn’t exactly his go - to was to act like ignoring all the hauntings and horrors was his specialty . far from it , actually , and his mind couldn’t help but to focus on the what ifs . dread on who was next . still , finnley managed to smile brightly at the worker who seemed even less excited than he was . “ err -- nine , please . yeah , thank you , ”

It wasn’t like Christy hadn’t thought about leaving before - she had, more and more as time went on. But to hear it from his mouth, so serious, like it was an actual potential reality, was different. Something about the way he said it put her on the defensive - why should they have to leave the home they’d spent their whole life in because the authorities couldn’t stop the killers? Why should she have to feel this way? And what about him? Was she meant to leave him here?

She frowned, staring into her cup of coffee. “And you? Are you going to leave?”

the way malakai’s hands trembled should be unnoticeable by now -- a reaction his body always seemed to express . he was always that way , a naturally nervous kid growing up . the anxiety ticking with him merely was amplified with every year that passed . it was no shock that the attacks that erupted more near and dear to home was enough to make him feel queasy . kai had been in a self-pitying tactic for plenty of his life . stuck in the same cycle of chasing his demons around over and over again . 

Karim raised his brow, taking a brief pause as if considering just how best to respond. He sniffed a little, then, giving a shrug of his shoulders. “1984, huh? Sounds so four-years-ago. What’s it about? Does Orwell over at Showtime know their name is on it?” Karim had, of course, heard of 1984, picked up the title through osmosis, even with the meager attention he had paid in English class. But he was being obtuse on purpose now, as if it would genuinely win him some kind of favor. He wrinkled up his nose. “Okay, so it’s not a comedy, but somethin’ doesn’t have to be haha funny to be funny. Is there anythin’ funny about it? Am I gonna regret askin’ that when you tell me it’s about something terrible?”

Karim stretched his arms over his head, a motion with which he involved his whole lanky body. “Viola is only my very best friend in the entire world forever, you know. If she’s concerned about ya, it’s usually ‘cause she’s got good reason to be. She’s real smart. And she knows everything about everything.” He gave a click of his tongue. “Which means, I should absolutely be concerned. I’m very pure of heart. I look out for folks even when they’re annoyed with me, which you are, so I should shut the fuck up now, yeah?” He zipped his lips with a physical gesture. “So! My little gift to you, from a concerned buddy. I’ll stop talking. Right now.” He nodded, making now something of a point of how quiet he could be. 

“ it was published in 1949 , idiot , ” malakai muttered under his breath . and perhaps it was far too dismissive of karim , by no fault of his own . malakai simply didn’t like getting close to people , and viola deciding to do the opposite met that the other was far too up his own business than kai would care to like . as if his whole life was a full blast , biography stapled to his forehead all for karim to view simply due to the late night talks he had with viola . the blonde didn’t like to think about it . no , not in the slightest . whenever he did ; however , words of retaliation left him out of mere habit . “ it’s political , science fiction , about dystopian times . individuality is a crime , thinking is a crime . suppose some irony can be a bit funny , but like i said , don’t think it’s quite your speed , karim , ” not to mention that if they dared to have even a simply thing to talk about , he doubted it’d be a novel . 

in truly younger brother fashion , malakai nearly gagged at viola’s praises . though he was no stranger to knowing how lovely she was , even if he was awful at expressing it . she was far more than he deserved , times a million , but that was far too much baggage to unload anyway . “ i don’t think you physically know how to keep your mouth shut , ” the curly-haired challenged, stoic blue eyes flickering up to land on karim in attempt to nearly prove a point . “ you never run out of shit to say , even when that’s literally all that’s leaving you mouth . actual nonsense , ” he went on in a murmur, a sigh leaving his own pink lips as fingertips dragged along through the strands of hair . “ she’s not concerned -- so you definitely don’t need to be , ”

                                          tatum  &  finnley

takes  place  at  pizza  time !  tatum  is  out  for  dinner  after  a  little  pre-game  and  runs  into  her  old  childhood  friend,  finn.  a  closed  starter  for  @malakaism·!

———   *   /   the  blasting  of  sirens  and  the  whip  of  air  carried  by  the  ambulances  and  state  troopers  zooming  past  throw  her  hair  into  a  frenzy.  a  mix  of  a  cheer  and  scream  getting  lost  in  the  breeze  as  tatum  lifted  up  her  brown  paper  bag  to  whoever  just  most  likely  got  murdered.  a  tilt  then  gave  away  and  a  small  amount  of  liquor  splattered  across  the  pavement.   ❛  for  you.  at  least  it  wasn't  me.  ❜  with  the  horrifying  reality  of  shrike  out  of  sight  —  it  was  also  BETTER  out  of  mind.  using  her  foot  to  push  open  the  pizzeria’s  doors;  the  smell  of  cheese,  ham,  and  delectable  garlic  bread  sent  shivers  down  her  spine.  immediately  upon  entering,  the  worker  (  garbed  in  the  ugliest  uniform  she  has  ever  seen )  reminded  her  that  alcohol  was  not  allowed  within  the  restaurant,  and  tatum –  with  a  simple  stare,  reminded  them  that  she  did  not  give  a  fuck.  taking  another  sip,  hazed  eyes  followed  the  direction  of  her  company  until  falling  upon  a  figure  that  had  once  been  her  friend.  ❛  don’t  look  at  me  like  that.  it  won’t  kill  them  if  i  drink  a  little.  ❜

it wasn’t as if finnley didn’t understand what damage and pain did to someone , and to be quite frank , tatum was more complex than most to begin with . still , he couldn’t help but worry , after all this time , for reasons unknown . perhaps it was just finnley’s nature to care a bit too much . even when he shouldn’t . even if it deemed to be pointless . “ they’re just doing their jobs , ” finnley reminded quietly , appetite being lost at witnessing the interaction . “ it’s their heads if you end up being reckless and damaging something or some sorts , ” he defended the workers actions . most of all though , he didn’t understand why tatum that this was the right time and place to part take in a few too many drinks . 

viola tried to take deep breathes and calm herself, her own temper not one that was tame in the least. but she had always tried for kai, had always wanted to give him more love than anger. but she knew now why parenting was so hard because in a lot of way she had become more of a parent than a big sister to kai. and whether he liked it or not, she felt responsible for him, not out of obligation but out of love and care. she couldn’t live her life peacefully if she knew he wasn’t okay. “sorry doesn’t fix it, kai. look, i know you’re struggling but what you said hurt. and i can’t just brush past that right now, okay? so i just need a moment, you can sit here and sulk and then when i come back in, we’re going to watch this fucking movie, okay?” she didn’t wait for an answer, instead turning away to walk outside into the garden, the tears she had been holding back finally falling when she did. 

it wasn’t just what kai had said. it was the entire week. it was his injuries and his pain. it was her own fear doubled over and over again. it was the fact that in a month she’d be turning 33 and in so many ways she felt the loneliest she had ever felt in her life. and she had never been so tired. she grabbed one of the lawn chairs and took a seat, burying her face in her hands. god, she was tired. but then she lifted her head and looked back at the house. her shitty, slightly ugly but furnished house. the one she had gotten on her own. the one she had created a safe haven in and she was reminded that she had achieved her biggest goal of all. it wasn’t a magical salve but it was perspective and it made her get to her feet so she could walk back inside. “Okay I don’t feel like kicking your ass anymore,” she sighed out and re-joined Kai on the couch. “do you still feel like being an asshole?”

there were simply times where kai crossed one too many lines . now seemed to be one of those moments . there was that guilt creeping up , but kai did his best to burry it deep down instead and shove it under a rug to clean up later . a shaken breath left his lips as hands brushed over his face in agitated motion as viola took some much needed space for herself . it wasn’t a bad call , to just step away . hell , he wouldn’t blame her if she decided to just leave the home in general . kai managed to peak back up and sink down into the sofa , arms crossed against his chest as seconds ticked on by . and ticked . almost mocking him . 

time was a damned thing and considering the recent events , it felt like everyone’s time was up . his . viola’s . absolutely everyone . so what exactly was the point on trying so damn hard for a house ? to getting out of an unsafe situation just to be in a different , perhaps more dangerous situation . it was nauseating and kai ? kai was fucking tired .  his gaze remained blank once his sister finally did return , rolling his blue hues in response to the words she uttered . “ probably . don’t think that’s a thing that’s going to change, ” 

…

All Christy wanted in this moment was to fall into his arms, and never leave them, but she didn’t want to overwhelm him, to force him to take care of her when he was probably already struggling. Instead, she focused on the coffee, pouring the water and making him a cup. It was easier that way, to  just focus on the mundane things. 

“I…” She paused as he spoke, before turning to look at him, with the cup in her hand. “I’m scared, Kai.” She knows it’s stupid, selfish to say when he’s hurt, and she’s fine. “I can’t… I can’t lose you.” The more she talks, the more she wishes she’d shut up - it’s too vulnerable, but she can’t help it. “Or the boys. Or anyone. I just can’t.”

it was a matter of time before christy unraveled and the moment she did was worse than malakai was anticipating . emotions certainly wasn’t his strong suit , let alone processing them and properly being there for others . call it an emotional intellectual lapse . he was always better with textbook smarts , after all . “ then maybe you should figure a way to get out of here, ” kai stated bluntly . honestly , he didn’t see another solution on the horizon . not one that would increase the safety for her and her brothers . 

                                             tatum  &  malakai

takes  place  at  tatum’s  apartment !  after  a  night  out  of  partying,  tatum  invites  malakai  back  home  for  extended  fun  &  talks  of  murder.  a  closed  starter  for  @malakaism​! 

Read More Now!

x

“M’sorry, you were talking?” Narrowing his eyes, Karim resorted to childish mocking, repeating the question in a silly high-pitched voice that, in truth, sounded nothing like Kai. This bit made him laugh, however, and with a full-bodied noise of personal delight, he fell back on his seat, returning to the magazine and beginning to flip through a few more pages. “Hmm, impossible. I’m hilarious. Maybe you just don’t got a good sense of humor or something. Some people don’t. It’s not their fault. But have you ever considered, like, rentin’ a comedy movie and seein’ what happens?” He raised an eyebrow, giving a low dismissive noise and reverting to his reading materials.

Karim himself had never been the type to take offense to banter, and if there were times that he was not actually in on the joke, he nevertheless would insist on butting his way into the punchline. After all, when others laughed with a person, they could not laugh at them. He rolled his shoulders, then, after a few long moments of silence. “Whatcha reading, huh? Anything good?” This question, of course, was a veiled cry for attention. Notice me! “You’re even more aloofly flippant than normal. Should I be concerned?” 

truly, how viola and karim got along so well was beyond him. or at least, that’s the front he did his best to exude. he didn’t dislike the other’s presence or even mind it all too much... but he was strange. and that had to mean something kai was quite the oddball himself. they simply... expressed their differences in complete opposite ways. karim was loud. goofy. probably couldn’t be serious if he was held with a weapon to his head. whereas kai was nearly always stoic or tried to be. it was a rather delicious combination of his natural personality and medication. nonetheless, kai gave karim the blankest of stares with not a flutter of his lips curving. 

kai would get along with the other more if karim could stand talking without actual feedback. he didn’t mind his rambles or jokes if the blonde was completely honest. but replying back ? giving attention ? definitely not his strong suit. no, he’d rather have his nose buried in his book. in peace. without having to converse. karim; however, seemed to have other plans. a sigh left him as he brushed his fingers through the tangled curls, debating if he wanted to continue to ignore karim’s being or give in to socialize. “ 1984. by george orwell. it’s not a comedy, though. don’t think it’d be up your alley. definitely don’t need you concerned. viola does enough of that. ”

ᴍᴀʟᴀᴋᴀɪ ᴋɪɴɢꜱ: ᴀᴇꜱᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴜɴᴇꜱ ᴍᴏᴏᴅʙᴏᴀʀᴅ 1/??

ᴛʀᴀᴄᴋꜱ

Maybe it was the stress of the week, maybe it was the fear of losing Kai, or maybe what he said fucking stung but the minute the words left his mouth her chest tightened even more and before she could help herself tears starting to slowly fall from her eyes. She didn’t notice them at first, not really until they fell onto her shirt and she could feel her nose becoming slightly clogged. She knew Kai lashed out when he was hurting but they had been doing so well. And whether he meant it or not, it was a sore spot for her, one that told her that no matter how much she tried to convince herself, Kai could leave her too. Disappear without a word and she’d really have no legal authority or right to track him down. To care for him. It was something she had thought of before. After the moment she had decided not to leave him behind in that house. She wondered often if it was the right idea but knew there never really was another choice. She would never have left him behind. she reached up and wiped the tears from her eyes, feeling embarrassed for letting him get to her but she couldn’t help it. she was too tired not to be vulnerable. “did that clarification make you feel better, hm? you can tell yourself that you don’t care, that you don’t actually have any family? you can feel however you want but it doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole to me.” 

she got up from the couch when she realized she didn’t have any tissue near, feeling the need to blow her nose for a moment. “no, it’s not fucking funny but it’s reality, kai. life is fucking hard, you should know that better than anyone. but that’s why we survive. that’s why we love people why we have them and don’t let that just slip up because we’re scared of losing them. i know you’re scared. and i know it’s scary to have people who can be taken away from you but that’s a huge part of life, kai. it happens. and you can be upset and sad about it for as long as you want but if it’s just going to turn you into an asshole then leave me out of it. i didn’t stay home for you to treat me like this, alright? i’m sorry, but i’m your fucking big sister and i’m going to love you whether you want me to or not. that’s what family is. so you can do whatever the fuck you want but i wont just stand here and let you act like your life is over when it’s not. some people actually died that night, you know? how do you think their families are feeling right now?” it all came out of her before she could stop it but she wasn’t perfect, and to be honest, he had really pissed her off. “you’re really pissing me off right now so i’m just going to step outside for a second.”

there was regret on glancing towards viola as soon as kai did, he noticed the tears. it made his stomach twist and it wasn’t as if this was the first time since he’d lashed out... but it had been a while. he tried to improve. grow as a person. to at least not take out his energy at viola of all people who did nothing but be there for him during his lowest of points. it seemed almost natural of her to take on the big sister role. and he so easily was more than a pain in the ass little brother. he opened his mouth to apologize, but no words could be find despite them racing through his mind. so he clenched his jaw as harshly as he was grasping his book. she was right, nonetheless. he wanted to tell himself he did have family. that they were dead. that viola hadn’t been around for half of his life, so how could she count as family ? was her love truly conditional or would she disappear as soon as something better came along which, let’s face it, didn’t take much. 

kai knew that having a hard life didn’t give him the pass on being a complete asshole, but it was the only way he managed to cope. she had a point, a few of them actually, ones that made him feel quite sick. that day was probably the worst day of some people’s lives. it was almost a blessing to have faced his top five worst days before he was even ten years old because, well, it could only go up from there. and it did. he met in viola. had... less evil families. had breaks from the foster home. his worst days were seemingly, in the past. while others were living through theirs. or fearing it upcoming. “ they can join the grieving club then, i suppose,” he mumbled out, sinking into the sofa and finally letting out the breath he was probably holding on to far too long. “ i’m sorry, okay ? i’ll stop being a dick i’m just -- ... ”

viola felt like she was finally at rest once they were sat on the couch and she had picked out a movie. if anything, she felt like they could have as close to a normal evening as possible right now. but her chest tightened the moment he spoke up and she held her breath for a moment before she even had words to respond to him. “i can’t imagine how scary that is, kai. but he didn’t die and i’m still here. i’m still right here,” she told him, resisting the urge to reach out and put her hand on his arm. “something better than spending time with my brother? who i love? look, kai, honestly,” viola took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. “what am i supposed to do here? let you just drown in your hypotheticals when all of the people who love you are still right here? and thi may surprise you but watching shitty movies with you is not my idea of torture.” she took in another deep breath, her eyes back on the tv as she thought over her response, she didn’t know how to keep quiet anymore. especially since every time he spoke he found a way to try to push at her and she was tired of it. 

“i’m trying to build a life for us. i’m trying really hard to have a better life, okay? you know that. you know all i want is for us to be at peace. but i cant help that this place has gotten fucking crazy and it’s scary, okay? and guess what, something might happen. but if it does, i need to know that you’re not going to waste away just because you dont’ have me. we have worked way too hard for you to crumble without me gone, malakai. but i’m not gone. and you need to live like everyone is alive because they are. and we don’t know how long that’s going to last so i don’t know, should you be doing something better with your life than being stuck here, watching shitty movies and worrying about what almost happened but didn’t?”

it wasn’t fair, really. not to take out everything on viola. he’s done and said worse in the past, sure. during low lows and one too many breakdowns. and this wasn’t that, but it wasn’t much better either. not with the temptation to push her away. to regret anything and everything she did for them in the first place. what was the point on getting closing, finding family, only for it to be ripped away all over again ? malakai was far too fragile. breakable, like glass. he admired those with strength, but he simply was not one of those people. he ran. so fucking far away. from his fears. from himself. from others. “ i’m not actually your brother, viola, ” he corrected taint-fulled, the words stinging like poison on his tongue. he didn’t feel that way, truly. they bother sacrificed quite a lot, but mostly viola climbed mountains just to get him safe. still, it was becoming increasingly terrifying to care about anything. about anyone. 

the grip on his book increased and the beating organ managed to keep blood pumping through his body though he was sure his face was pale as ever. still, he refused to look at viola, all too scared to actually face any of the consequences of the things he said. or did. a bitter laugh couldn’t help but to leave his lips as viola spoke of quite possible what ifs. she had far too much faith in him if she thought he wouldn’t absolutely wither away. maybe it was cruel to put that sort of pressure on her considering most of what happened in this town was far beyond either of their control. “ that’s not fucking funny, ” he stated out as if speaking about the possibility was forbidden. he shook his head as he spoke, finally letting ice blue eyes gaze upon her. 

…

Christy padded into the kitchen, assuming Malakai would follow. The Boyer house was small and cramped, though less so when not the entire household was awake. She filled the kettle with water, and then switched on the burner, before looking back at Kai, biting her lip. She simultaneously didn’t want to ask any questions, and wanted to ask them all, at once.

“So, um…” Are you okay? Do you need anything? What can I do? No, she couldn’t ask all that, couldn’t dump it all on him. Instead, she turned her attention away from him, instead turning to the fridge to look for milk - picking up the container, she sighed. Unsurprising. The boys were terrible with putting away things empty. “No milk.. Sorry.”

kai knew that christy’s mind was probably spinning as fast as his own. for that, he felt guilty. he wanted to sooth her worries, give her every ounce of reassurance she needed. but kai wasn’t very good at lying. a facade was one thing, and that came along easily. he nearly perfected the skill, especially around strangers. but chrtisty was no stranger and evening imaging that if she got mixed up in all of this. well, it made him quite sick. 

it was selfish to show up on her step and he knew this. perhaps it was a desperate attempt to not fall too hard or two quickly. at least then, he could say he tried to resist. refrained from falling back into old habits. he could already picture how viola would yell at him. maybe he was already bracing for it. the pattering of his heart was deafening as he stepped into the kitchen. as he listened to the tone of her voice. as he simply awaited for the explosion that could tick at any moment. “ that’s fine, ” he agreed quietly, leaning back against the counter as his arms folded loosely against his frame. “ i’m... really glad you’re safe, christy, ” and perhaps that was the main reason he was here. to lay a gaze upon her and make sure she managed to stature in one piece. 

one of the hardest parts about the disconnect that happened between the pair of them was the fact that dustin could see both sides so clearly. he could understand why malakai would be upset, why he’d feel left behind, why he’d envy dustin and his ability to get out of the slump malakai was seemingly still in. dustin had felt malakai’s pain before; he had seen people who struggled pull themselves out of that strife when dustin was far from making the same change, and it was one of the most difficult things to go through. seeing something so desirable be obtainable for someone else but seemingly not for him, it hurt. it hurt bad. it was really difficult for dustin to know that he played a part in inflicting that pain on his friend, but while he could see malakai’s point of view as clearly as someone who wasn’t malakai could, he of course first and foremost saw his own situation clearly. he couldn’t let himself continue to suffer just because his friend wasn’t ready for his own development to happen alongside of him. that wouldn’t have been right, and while neither option was perfect, dustin knew that making changes had been the right one for him. 

while dustin had pulled the metaphorical plug and gotten himself out of his bad situation, he never planned on leaving malakai behind. malakai’s friendship meant so much to him, and he couldn’t deny that their life experiences had bonded them for life - at least, that’s how dustin felt about it. there wasn’t much he could do in order to assist the man, knowing that those who weren’t ready to receive help would never react healthily to a large or ruthless attempt at being given help, but regardless, dustin had been there for malakai as much as the situation allowed. even if dustin couldn’t actively do anything, from the very beginning he had been ready to be patient with malakai. he hoped that the other man would catch up to him, he hoped that one day he could find himself in a better situation, too, but he would wait for as long as he needed to in order for that to happen. 

“hey, there’s no need for it.” dustin told him gently as he apologised. while the gesture and the word was appreciated, it was unnecessary. malakai’s feelings and his actions were hardly his fault, not these ones, not in the way they manifested. instead, it was a result of his situation, a result of circumstances, and dustin - having been in a similar situation - could understand that personally. the mood shifted drastically as malakai began saying more, as he began speaking so vulnerably, and dustin was sure to listen to every single word as closely as possible. “i can understand that, kai.” he nodded his head, trying to make his friend felt heard and understood. “you’re allowed to be serious.” he reassured him. dustin was eager to reach his apartment, eager to be able to look away from the road and to malakai instead so that he could address what was being said properly, and he was glad that they were almost there already - understandably, as shrike heights wasn’t a very big place. “no matter how much changes, kai, i’m always going to be here. everyone changes, they do, but not everything. i’m still here.” 

in retrospect, it was difficult to believe. everything felt like a change. the situations, the people, both dustin and himself. and kai couldn’t fucking stand it. not one thing in his life seemed to have an ounce of stability. in fact, dustin had been in his life longer than his sister had at this point. unfortunately, their relationship was more turbulent with no one to thank but himself. it was sickening. dizzying. the blonde wished he didn’t cook up any energy to give a fuck. but admittedly so, even he cared at times. dustin, at least, was very much so an exception. more than he’d ever like to admit.    

maybe it was the comfort of his presence or the smoothness of dustin’s voice, but there was always just something that seemed to settle the nerves within kai. if anyone could talk the irate, curly-haired blonde, it was dustin. so he did his best to listen too. take every word in. and take it to heart. sometimes he needed to store the words in his brain and pluck them out in times of need. a dreaded sigh left kai’s lips rather than words. maybe he didn’t know what to say or maybe if he did speak, it’d just be something he’d regret. so he quietly nodded and opened back up his novel, fumbling with the bookmark in hand. 

viola knew that he wanted to stay in his room all day but she wasn’t about to spend her entire day just sitting in the next room waiting for him. maybe that would have been the more patient thing. or maybe she knew if she let him keep going this way then she may never get him back. and she wasn’t about to let that happen. “okay,” viola said softly in response, not wanting to push it in any way and she wouldn’t ask for more. instead she finished up her breakfast and got up from the table to get the chores she needed to get done, done before they watched a movie. and she figured it would take the pressure off kai since he wouldn’t have to talk about anything any further. Instead she decided to fill up the house with her own energy, cleaning up the kitchen before grabbing the phone to call Karim and ask his help in getting some groceries. 

when she went back into room to check her wallet for cash to give him, she paused and sat on the edge of her bed, using the moment to catch her breath. she placed both her hands flat next to her and tried to focus on her breathing, anything to ground herself for a moment. she needed to stay strong, needed to stay focused on being someone steady. she took in a few deep breathes, took her hair down and put it back up again, stared out her window a few seconds longer before re-entering the common space. “alright groceries are on the way, i’m gonna look for a movie, you want to get your pillow or blanket or anything and bring it out towards the couch? jeez, remember the pillow fort we made when we first got this place?” it had been a happier time. a time that felt like they had finally gotten their freedom. that first night had been so surreal. she had used all the cash she had left over for a proper pizza feast. equip with wings and fries and the largest liters of soda. and it had felt like life would only get better. viola shook that memory off for a moment and instead went to the bookshelf to pick out a VHS tape. 

the older knew him a bit too well, and it was just as terrifying now as it was when they first met. kai didn’t like to be read. he didn’t like being exposed, especially when most vulnerable. there were so many drowning thoughts echoing in his mind and it felt as if every word was plastered onto his forehead. he had gotten used to the numb feeling that he gave into some time okay. it was nice. calm. now, once again, his surroundings seemed so incredibly loud and it was all too tempting to want to dull down the noise. he felt selfish, in a way, for even thinking of it. even daring to cave into his intrusive thoughts. it’d be easier that way, truly. and the blonde was never one to overcome his intrusive coping mechanisms. and it thought, just maybe, it’d be even simpler to push viola away. agree for her to go to work, go shopping, and do whatever else. after all, if his sister wasn’t near... well, then she couldn’t stop him either. 

malakai wanted nothing more than to not give a fuck. yet his mind kept swirling back to dustin. wondering what would have happened if it was worse, if he died, if he was going to manage to grow to hate him. it was even more irritating to not feel petrified for himself, hell, while kai would have much rather not have his bones crushed it most certainly could have been worse. in fact, it inflicted much more pain to see dustin down for the count rather than any blows he took which was a eerily familiar feeling anyway. his throat felt swollen at viola’s words. her memories and wishes. though much like the future, kai didn’t like thinking about the past either. 

he found himself unable to find his voice as he normally did and exited in search of a rather fluffy and out-of-character blanket he had in his room. he plucked one of his favorite novels off his shelf just in case the movie ended being a bust. plus, simply having a book in arms reach tended ease the anxiety. the lanky male managed to plop himself down on the sofa, fluttering the soft material over his lips while the books rested easily in his hands. “ i thought he was gonna die, ” malakai managed to admit out quietly, perhaps the biggest reason that was eating up at him. his blue hues were locked down to the cover of his book though, fingertips lightly tracing over the words. “ and i can’t stop thinking about it. or seeing it. or wondering if it’d happen to you,” he murmured oh so quietly, still refusing to bring his gaze upward. “ so i think... i don’t know, shouldn’t you be doing something better with your life then being stuck here, watching shitty movies and reminiscing about pillow forts ? ”

…

Christy rolled her eyes right back at him - sometimes, she just wanted to do the sort of things regular people did. Roller skating, karaoke, going to the movies. Stuff she’d never really had opportunities to do when she was younger. It felt, almost, like she was making up for lost time now. And Malakai was just along for the ride. “Well, I don’t know if I’m the roller skating type either, but it seems like.. Something people do, right? For fun. People do stuff like that. And we’re people. So we’re going to.” 

She sighed, almost feeling bad she was asking Malakai to take time out of his day to do something he might have no interest in. “Listen, it’s not like I have tons of other people to spend time with.”  She had a few friends, but no one she was as close with as Kai. So, he was sort of the obvious choice, really. 

malakai wasn’t sure if normal was any sorts of a thing that he new about. it seemed all his life, it was anything but. whether he liked to admit it, he wasn’t sure what normal people did. sane people. perhaps it was one of the endless reasons why he found his nose in a book so often, figuring out what his life could have been like when handed a different stack of cards. better or worse. richer or poorer. it was a loop that never met a full circle, so the blank stare on the blonde’s features were evidence enough that he had no fucking idea on if roller skating was something people did or if it was just a feature in cheesy movies.