That Pinay Fanfiction Writer

On the first day of Christmas my true love vhenan gave to me

- A wolf that got stuck in a tree

Two baby nugs and -

Three Wardens,

Four smutty words,

Five MABARIIIIII!!!

Six horse(?)a-neighing

In my post-modern character in Thedas fic Coiling Time, the time travelling protagonist Malika understands every language spoken or written. In a fantasy world, that’s quite handy, don’t you think?

The obvious downside — When Malika is present in canon scenes from Dragon Age: Inquisition, some of the dialogue is in untranslated conlangs — namely, qunlat and elvhen. I’m not complaining about the presence of languages we’re not supposed to understand; in the context of the games, it makes for an interesting tension that the character (and player) isn’t able to understand every single word around them. However, due to the magic of her time travelling apparatus, Malika is supposed to be able to parse the meaning out of these overheard conversations — which I, as a fanfic writer from Earth, do not. Cheesecake, it would seem I shot myself in the foot.

However, as I see it, untranslated passages of canon are an opportunity to surprise your canon-savvy readers through either decoding that which hasn’t been decoded before, or through imbuing it with new meanings and nuance to suit your needs. Elvhen, especially, is a wonderful conlang in that most words carry many meanings and possible interpretations.

Since I got through this process, and no readers have complained about my unauthorized translations, I thought I’d share how I did it. As an example, I’ll use the dialogue with the spirit guards we meet on one of the towers overlooking the fortress of Fen’Harel in the Dragon Age: Inquisition Trespasser DLC. These are sentences that, even if an Inquisitor drank from the Well of Sorrows, they do not understand — but my poor Malika had to know what the phantom elvhen says. So let’s take a look.

The goal here is to come not up with a translation that is accurate, but one that works for your story. As a caveat, this process goes against pretty much every single linguistics methodology I have ever heard of, and I don’t mean that in a good way. The first step already abandons a lot of what would be considered really important data.

Starting point: get the words down on paper

The first step for me is to get down whatever the subtitling of the scene says. A game writer friend at another AAA studio shared that the subtitling is usually the writing, as done by the actual writers of the game - it’s oftentimes easier that way to keep them in order, it prepares them for localization and recording, and they can be used to automate mouth movements, even. The reason I start by getting the subtitles, is that the actor speaking the lines? Barring some fantastical machinations, they’re not fluent in elvhen, and it’s also rather unlikely that the writer of the line was present during recording (been there as well). But do make a note of what the inflection is. It might also not quite hit the mark every time, but it can serve as a baseline of what the mood of the line is.

So, at this point we have the following two lines from the spirit guard:

Atish’all vallem, Fen’Harel elathadra.

Nuvenas mana helanin, dirth bellasa ma.

A branching outcome - depending on whether the Inquisitor took the Well:

(Well of Sorrows - good outcome)

Inquisitor: Ar-melana dirthavaren, Revas vir-anaris.

Guard: Amae lethalas.

(No well of Sorrows - bad outcome)

Guard: Virthar ma. Na din’an sahlin!

Screenshots are useful at this stage.

Compare to canon and fanon

Next up, I’ll scour Project Elvhen (P.E.) and the Fandom wiki to find a rough translation for most of the lines and copy it into my document. I’ll pick out any words that kind of make sense as being parts of the translation.

Project Elvhen is an absolutely amazing resource, in that it both collects canon translations and speculative ones (fanon), as well as delves into the grammar of this made up language. However… Based on BioWare Q&A streams (and my own experience with localization management) elvhen isn’t complete nor is it always spelled consistently in the games (if I remember correctly, Twitter discussions suggest that, for instance, apostrophes are sometimes left out). Rumor has it BioWare has its own internal Wiki for keeping track of things and another of sorts to keep track of their conlangs, but that doesn’t guarantee they’re always grammatically consistent.

Of course it’s also possible that some words, especially barks, would just be gibberish, but I still recommend assuming there is an intended meaning and canon translation of eah line, and trying to decipher enough of it to have a rough idea of what the writers might have intended. It also helps to think of how the line is used. Is it a greeting? An insult?  A command?

Amae lethalas.

Ama would be used when talking about protecting your daughter.

lethal n. kin, or family, specifically very close kin or family.


as - plural? innumerable?
(protect + family) (spec.)

Conclusion: (protect + family + many)

Virthar ma!

vir (a way path, route, or road)

tharia (wheel)

Ma pron. sb. sg. You

Conclusion: (a way + wheel (?) + you)

Na din’an sahlin!

na (you)

Din adj. adv. n. death, dead, no

an n. place

sahl'in adv. n. now, in this moment, currently

Conclusion: (you + death + place + now)

… ‘A way wheel you?’ Not to be too critical, but ‘You death place now’ doesn’t quite roll off the tongue, does it?

Context, to con through text

So, I have a rough translation of individual words. Now it’s time to do the dirty work. At this stage, I start looking at what I want the conversation to say, in the context of my story, and start adjusting the sentences. Nudging, if you will. Choose which option of the different meanings makes most sense.

After finding the rough words that could be some kind of match:

Atish’all vallem, Fen’Harel elathadra. (atish + alin + vallas, Fen’Harel + ela + unknown) (peace + stranger + writing, marking, Fen’Harel + be able to + unknown)

I make myself some options, twisting and turning the words:

Atish’all vallem, Fen’Harel elathadra.

Peace, stranger with the mark of Fen’Harel’s permission.

Peace, marked stranger. Do you have Fen’Harel’s permission?

Hello, marked stranger. Fen’Harel has given you the ability to enter.

Nuvenas mana helanin, dirth bellasa ma.

Unless you desire to fight indefinitely, say many permission you

Unless you desire a lengthy struggle, say the passphrase

I am half convinced this exchange is an inside joke of a log in process, asking for your username and password. It would be a very BioWare thing to do.

Ar-melana dirthavaren, Revas vir-anaris. (I + time + speak disappeared/promise, Freedom + path + countless years)

I promise my years, for the freedom of countless years ahead

I promise my years, for a path to freedom in the countless years ahead.

With this one, I’ve seen speculation that anaris would refer to one of the Forgotten Ones (Anaris), but, that doesn’t make much sense to me in context. It’s also not a capitalized word. So, I went with the assumption that anaris is an alternative spelling of annaris.

Based on how the other lines shaped up, the ending lines that made most sense to me were:

Amae lethalas.

Protect the people.

Virthar ma. Na din’an sahlin!

Have it your way. Die here and now.

And here’s how it looks in context with my final translations:

“Peace, marked stranger. Fen’Harel has given you permission to enter,” the leader speaks.   “Wait”, Lavellan says. “Is this… necromancy, Dorian?” “Not quite. It would seem the elves bound a spirit here. It feels… old. Very old.” “What does it want?” Lavellan asks. The spirit looks at her. “Unless you desire a lengthy struggle, say the passphrase.” “That’s elvhen, right?” Sera huffs. “Do your pool whisper thing, yeah?” “You… understand what he said?” I ask Lavellan. “Sort of. I never learnt fluent elvhen… but I can sort of feel the meaning, through the Well of Sorrows,” she says, taking another step. “And I think I know which words to say.” Lavellan looks back at us, but her eyes seem distant. She clears her throat. “I promise my years, for a path to freedom in the countless years ahead,” she says, but her voice sounds distorted, as if someone else was speaking the words along with her. “Protect the people,” the spirit replies, bowing his head, stepping aside. “Protect the people,” Lavellan agrees, as she walks past him and his archers.

In conclusion: the author is dead, go wild

We went through the process! 

Now, are these correct translations? No. Probably not. Maybe. Could be. But, more importantly, if they fit and don’t seem wildly out of place, who cares?

The purpose of my translations here isn’t to theory craft for DA4, or go on a deep dive into lore. The purpose isn’t to reveal new nooks of canon to prove my Fan Cred™️ to my readers. No.

They serve their one purpose, which is to support the story I want to tell with my fanfic. For instance, my translation of the secret greeting of the agents of Fen’Harel contains a promise, a pledge. That’s not necessarily correct, but for how this scene appears in Coiling Time, it’s crucial, since it makes this scene a source of information about the willingness of the elvhen to give up their immortality — their years — for the cause — freedom in the countless years ahead. It also makes for a plot point further ahead; Malika really does not want to repeat this phrase, since promises uttered by her are binding.

Similarly, I went with ‘Protect the people’ for Amae lethalas, instead of Protect our kind, or Protect our family, which may be slightly more in line with canon — but that would fit the story poorly, so I threw that out. I didn’t want to put the reader on the path of considering Fen’Harel’s bloodline, for instance. All in all, I’m alright with what I came up with; it’s not perfect, but, hopefully, it gets that it needs done.

Another I wanted to be careful with was the tone of the English translation here; is it formal, is it familial. For the guard, I went with a bit of a robotic delivery, since in the way I imagine Coiling Time, the pre-Fade spirits — such as the Archivist — operate similarly to VI in Mass Effect.

Anyway, since I went through the trouble of doing this, I wanted to share some phrases:

Atish’all vallem, Fen’Harel elathadra. Peace, marked stranger. Fen’Harel has given you permission to enter.

Nuvenas mana helanin, dirth bellasa ma. Unless you desire a lengthy struggle, say the passphrase.

Ar-melana dirthavaren, Revas vir-anaris. I promise my years, for a path to Freedom in the countless years ahead

Amae lethalas. Protect the people

Virthar ma. Na din’an sahlin! Have it your way. Die here and now.

And for a bonus, a Librarian line as well:

Delltash! Seran Viar Malas Shivera Mellavar! Keep quiet! Return the loans that are long overdue!

The spontaneous writer, who has no idea what their fic is about or what happens next.

The planner, who has a very detailed outline about everything and anything that happens in the story.

The patient writer, who will finish a story before posting any of it.

The abandoner, who keeps posting new fics but never finishes them.

The multitasker, who works on multiple fics at the same time.

The fix-it writer, who shuns canon and shoots it in the face

The angst writer, who stabs the characters in the gut, twists the knife while it’s in them, and murders everything good in life

The hurt/comfort writer, who annihilates everything good before stitching it back together

The fluff writer, who loves the sweet and cute moments of their OTP.

The romance writer, who will make sure the characters get a happy ending together

The porn writer, who will ensure the characters get their much needed sex.

The dark writer, who takes angst and levels it up by 1000 before dragging the characters deep into the abyss

The tragedy writer, who makes the hurt/comfort writer look kind

The slow burn writer, who will put their readers through the worst kind of agony that exists

Anger:

Grinding teeth

Narrowing eyes

Yelling

A burning feeling in the chest

Heavy breathing

Unjustified or justified accusations towards other characters

Jerky movements

Glaring

Violence

Stomping

Face reddening

Snapping at people

Sadness:

Lack of motivation

Messy appearance

Quiet

Slow movements

Crying

Inability to sleep

Frowning

Red eyes

Isolating oneself

Fatigue

Not concentrating

Here’s a handy dandy list of awkward but realistic and wonderful things to incorporate into your writing if you want to make your smut more appealing*…

cleaning up the mess 

“oops, I thought this was someone else’s" 

unsexy/unflattering noises/smells/tastes/textures

“where did it go?” (can be combined with number 1 for full effect) 

“OW! FUCK!” (cramps/pinched nerves/bad backs/getting kicked in the face/“wrong hole”/etc…) 

bad strip tease 

distracted by something thoroughly unsexy needing to be done instead (like laundry, or tidying, or taxes) 

the reverse…getting horny while doing your taxes (is this awkward enough? this seems like pure romance) 

scheduled sex 

“the dog/cat is watching…" 

"It’s fine. I can just do it myself…" 

"I’ll do that thing that you like…” “Yay…” (unenthusiastically) 

taking too long 

wandering minds 

that’s not my name… 

inadequate grooming (fingernails, in particular…shudder) 

stomach growling “that smells…better than sex" 

acting out sexually on food stuff (the messier the better)

too drunk to make it work 

uncomfortable mattress/bed/couch/futon/sleeping surface

squeaky bed

finding something weird in the bed (a rubber chicken? a child’s toy? a spider? a dead animal left by your cat? actual poop?) 

breaking the bed (is not as sexy as it sounds) 

sex toy runs out of batteries (or fantasy equivalent…PSA: always check your batteries, ppl)

"we might as well…" 

overfrought consent/reassurance 

explaining a kink 

narrating a climax 

trying to be quiet/trying to be loud/trying to achieve a certain very specific decibel to your love-making

trying not to laugh/trying to make your partner laugh 

other bodily functions adjacent to sex

*…to what may actually be a very niche group of people like me and the people who helped me compile this list from @a-productive-manor: implicating both @paraparadigm and @eranehn from the @parera-zuul-jar, @funkypoacher, @grumpkinvicky​, and our dear friend Sarna (who isn’t on tumblr but also writes very good realistic and sometimes awkward smut).