dps headcanons: nefarious edition (also modern day edition?)
these are my favourite nefarious dps head canons because my boys are human too. most of these were thought up after 11pm on a high from watching my own private Idaho...
Neil: he may be a theatrical prodigy, but this guy CANNOT SING (even though RSL can…). like to the point where whenever he gets asked if he'd ever do MT, he visibly flinches. he makes Todd sing for him, and instead resorts to relaying dramatic monologue renditions of songs. he likes to perform hozier songs in monologue form most of all (Todd eats it up every time)
Charlie: genuinely will not stop swearing. this guy seriously says a swear every 2-3 words. one time Cameron tried to bribe him into stopping because it pissed him off. it did not work. the one time Charlie manages to calm down is when he's either with his parents or with Neil's parents. he doesn't even bother with Knox's anymore.
Todd: the kind of guy that will write the most majestic AO3 fic ever, complete with such poetic writing that looks like Shakespeare himself descended from the heavens to kiss his forehead and knight him with the power of ethereal prose, before deserting it for 3 months straight, leaving all his readers in shambles. he would then return all of a sudden with a BANGER of a chapter before going AWOL again. surprise!
Knox: Actually tried looksmaxxing after falling for the tiktok clavicular propaganda (despite Charlie telling him a million times that no, he does not have a recessed jawline). it got so bad that he bought a bunch of expensive skincare thinking it'd make him a true Adam. therefore, Charlie had to feed his ego by telling him he was already a true Adam without the skincare, just so he'd stop.
Meeks: has an abnormal amount of science equipment in his room that one can only wonder where he got it from. some say he steals it from the labs at school. others say he often finds himself on less-than-legal websites purchasing batshit stuff. pitts disapproves of this when talking to the other poets yet always ends up helping Meeks with wild his scientific endeavours.
Pitts: is notorious for his sleepwalking tendencies. I dunno where this came from BUT he gives off this vibe. the poets bet on who's gonna be attacked by a sleepy, confused pitts next time they have their silly sleepovers. its also dangerous for him to nap at the cave because at six foot tall, he might bang his head 💔
Cameron: sometimes he doesn't even work insanely hard academically because he's a perfectionist. sometimes he does it simply to piss Meeks off (Meeks hates to admit it but it works more often than not). he may be dedicated to getting good grades…but at what cost?
Keating: Has an anonymous blog where he rewrites modern-day poetry in the style of the romantics. this man will scroll insta-poetry for hours and translate it into 1800s-speak just to be able to sleep at night. he has hundreds of devoted followers.
some of these are less evil than others lowkey…my personal favourite HAS to be Knox's looksmaxxing craze though
theartofmadeline
annaxmalina
dededos
snowghoul
kaledo-art
