the beloved is in your veins. @maketeaa - Tumblr Blog

a little life is for the people who've heard the fear in their mum's voice when she tells you "you know there's nothing worse a child can do to their parents than kill themselves, right?"

#in short #im still crying over the book #i just keep remembering it and crying #a little life #bookblr #books #♡alizeh reads♡

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mister-sol

and he cries and cries, cries for everything he has been, for everything he might have been, for every old hurt, for every old happiness, cries for the shame and joy of finally getting to be a child...

Harold and Jude from Hanya Yanagihara's "A Little Life". It's not what I usually post here, but I've had this scene on the back of my mind for a while now, and after rereading it for the millionth time I decided to give in and draw it. Put way too much of myself into this to not post it to my main, so here we are.

janicesopranos

a hill i will die on is that a little life by hanya yanagihara is not meaningless and is not torture porn and is in fact a very stark and realistic exploration of unprocessed trauma and the inability to talk and how trauma shapes the way you view those who love you and the fact that tiktok has turned it into the "you will cry at the end!!!!" book honestly breaks my heart

#what got me was like #the realisation about how people who have abused you arent so straightforwardly bad or good #and those characteristics can be reflected in the people who love you in the future from time to time #even though they're used completely differently #this book made me cry so much #and made me remember all the times ive looked at my mum's face and saw that fear that harold talks about feeling

doloresdisparue

the fact that the concept of "nymphets" was ever given any kind of credence in our (pop) culture is so mind-boggling.

if silence of the lambs had a chapter of hannibal lecter explaining that cannibalism is reasonable because some special people are basically begging to be eaten because they are so delicious smelling and lowkey want it and he can tell even if they cant would that be a reasonable concept for me to incorporate into my worldview? no. it would be fucking insane and if i started taking that at face value people would rightfully think i am deranged.

so why, if the character whose main trait is being a deluded child molester, who is in prison (and also a murderer), tells us that some children are little sex demons who seduce men just by existing is that ANYTHING other than a batshit insane man who needs an extended grippy sock vacation (AGAIN! because hes also been canonically in and out of sanitariums!!!!) at best and a manipulative evil scumbag trying to stay out of jail at worst?

how is it that we have so much media referencing "nymphets" as an actual idea that supposedly makes sense to normal people, an archetype even, how did we ever get to a point that theres a fashion subculture named after this evil to the core concept that is nothing but victim blaming literal children for sexual assault??? can anyone hear me???? hello???????

doloresdisparue

nevermind my bad i guess

i've read lolita at age 14, at age 17, and am reading it again at 20, and it is so harrowing in such different ways at each age. because while i could look at it at fourteen and think 'wow this is fucked up' and look at it at 17 and think 'wow this is more fucked up than i remembered' at 20 i just want to cry and cry and cry and cry and cry

#she was just a kid #the section of the book where they just drive around the states is where i had to take a break because i thought i was going to cry #the confusing way humbert narrates and describes things made it hard to sink in when i first read it when i was younger #but it's just. it's literally almost 100 pages of this man kidnapping this 12 year old girl and abusing her right after he told her her mum+#+died #im just. im so sad.#when i was 17 the reason i read this was to write a paper about it and i remember one of the secondary sources i read+#+genuinely believed that lo had seduced humbert #and i just. i was mad then. but im so painfully mad now. because how can you read this book and believe it's even AMBIGUOUS that she was +#+ being abused #god man.#tw abuse #tw child abuse #cw lolita #♡alizeh reads♡#tagged:nabokov

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soracities

—Julie Beck, "Why We Forget Most of the Books We Read", pub. The Atlantic [ID'd]

get you a girl who can do both

#i got bored and changed my handwriting a while ago #studyblr #bookblr #booklr #handwriting #writing #dark academia #light academia #books and reading #books #literature #♡alizeh reads♡#cursive

i think my favourite thing about rabindranath tagore is how comedically overdramatic he can be in his writing. reading letter 85 in 'letters from a young poet' and this poor six foot tall man in this tiny four foot boat really says all the sorrow and pain that was written on this forehead now increases anew every time i try to stand up like HFJFHS?? i love him. i think he would have so much fun on tumblr

#rabindranath tagore #literature #bengali #tagged:tagore #♡alizeh reads♡

haly-reads

currently reading//

#OOOOH!!!#i have this book but it's still on my tbr ;;

#i am not joking when i say id lay my life down for this 13th century persian man #book tumblr #bookblr #rumi #poetry #literature #sufi #sufism #tagged:rumi #tagged:poetry #♡alizeh reads♡

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msvhs-deactivated20251231

The Color of Pomegranates (Նռան գույնը), dir. Sergei Parajanov (1969)

literatureaesthetic

at the risk of sounding like an absolute lunatic.....i miss studying books and writing essays on them😭

#god. this is so real #i didnt appreciate it enough when i was 16

literatureaesthetic

today's purchases 💸 in classics mode

#tagged:inspo

gnawgag

TAINTED BLOOD, TAINTED SELF.

folie a deux - savannah brown / elly smallwood / supernatural 4x04 / edouard labrosse / pissing contest, or interrogation on behalf of a lover who is no longer mine - silas denver melvin / blud- rachel mckibbens / ceruse - jen mazza / birthright- george abraham / tracie macvean / cis people asking cis questions - silas denver melvin / blood - my chemical romance

#tagged:poetry

feral-ballad

Savannah Brown, from Closer Baby Closer; “Retroactive jealousy”

[Text ID: “Someday I’ll care for something / without wanting to close a door behind it.”]

#tagged:poetry

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