some written things

M*A*S*H

The Hobbit

Lord of the Rings

James Bond

Bullet Train

The Magnificent Seven (2016)

Requests are open

and if someone wants a One Shot for:

John Constantine (2005) x platonic!Reader

Halloween is exhausting for someone who gets supernatural visions, and Constantine tries to help in his own way.

Warnings: alcohol, supernatural visions, mention of smoking

Eddie Munson x platonic!Reader

Reader has no plans for Halloween and Eddie helps them to figure out what to do.

Notes: contains some swearing, M*A*S*H is mentioned

"Eddie, I have a problem", you stared into your wide open wardrobe, staring at the sweaters. "I'm going to be honest with you, I don't see it. But maybe if you point it out to me, we can freak out about it together", Eddie stared at your clothes in confusion.

"You see my M*A*S*H sweater, right?". "Yeah, I've known and loved it since approximately 1982", you had worn that sweatshirt every Halloween, without fail, for the past four years but now the streak would break. "I don't have any pants to wear with it, my green corduroys ripped the other day and I'm not about to go into one of these fucked up stores to get army style pants", you thought back at all the adventures you had gone through with these corduroys. They must have been the most resistant piece of clothing your mom had ever sewn.

"Does that mean you'll go as something else this year?", he looked like he was already thinking of other possibilities. "Unfortunately. But I have no idea what to wear, it's only one more week, I have work to take care of and my mom said my corduroys can't be fixed. The fabric has gotten so thin it would just rip apart more if she'd try to sew it back together". "You could be a cat again, or a mouse", suggested Eddie, "it's an easy to make costume". "Ed, last time I went as an animal was in first grade. If I start again I'll never hear the end of it", you were thinking harder. Meanwhile Eddie started suggesting your favourite movies, maybe you'd find a character there. "Escape from New York?" "I don't wear a mullet anymore". "Once upon a time in the west?". "I could but I'm not really in the mood for that". "James Bond?" "Probably. I think I need a whole chart to decide what to dress like for Halloween. I just wanted to wear my M*A*S*H outfit", Eddie had seen you wear the corduroys and the sweatshirt individually on many occasions, but both together were reserved for Halloween. It had always brought across the message, with your self made dog tags and that green hat you'd wear on cold enough nights.

Requests are open

Lemon (Bullet Train) x Ghost Rider! Reader

Notes: Yesterday night I watched Ghost Rider (2007) and got inspired for this one. It's very short and not proofread, but since it's October I'll see this as an early Halloween post

Warnings: fire, mentions of burns, demonic possession/contract with the devil, mentions of assassination and being a bounty hunter

"Lemon, please say something", (Y/N) looked at their significant other as good as it was possible to look at someone through a curtain of flames. "(Y/N), I think your hair's on fire", answered Lemon. He didn't know what else to say. (Y/N) had told him that they needed to talk. They had told him they needed to show him something too. Right now, to his own surprise, Lemon was only glad that (Y/N) wasn't breaking up with him.

"Does this change anything about our relationship?", asked (Y/N). They radiated a kind of nice heat, if you asked Lemon about it. Sure, it would take some getting used to, seeing them like this, but Lemon would be able to adjust. "I don't think it changes anything. It's warm, but this way I won't have cold hands in winter anymore", Lemon reached out to run his fingers over (Y/N)'s burning cheek. For some reason he knew the fire wouldn't burn him. "Are you sure? I made a contract with the devil", (Y/N) hesitated to place their own hand over Lemon's like they would usually do. They still weren't sure the fire wouldn't cause burns. They had been worried about Lemons' job. As a contract killer he would in theory fit the profile of the people they were supposed to be fighting.

On the other hand (Y/N) had been a bounty hunter before. The only thing different about this was that now they had a contract with the devil. A contract that had to be fulfilled sooner or later. "When we said our vows, we said in sickness and health", answered Lemon, "and in my opinion this includes demonic possession or whatever you want to call this". "Thank you", (Y/N) finally placed their hand over Lemon's.

Tangerine x Reader (Romance)

I listened to Last Kiss by Pearl Jam a few too many times last week and came up with this. It might be the most angst filled thing I've ever written.

Warnings: car accident, grief, mentions of Christianity, reader death, survivors guilt, mentions of blood, sad ending, (mentions of assassination cause its Bullet Train fanfiction)

Flashbacks are in cursive

Tangerine didn't know how he even found himself in a situation to ask himself such a question. He never had thought much about the afterlife or if heaven was real, he had been detached from Christianity ever since his teen years. His job would assure that he'd go to hell one day if all the things his grandparents had believed in were true. Tangerine never wanted to think about it again, he had been fine with the thought of that someday it would just be over. Someone would kill him. Final Curtain. And then he had shoved that train of thought so far into the back of his mind that it should never resurface. Now he wasn't so sure anymore. He didn't even know what (Y/N) had believed in. He couldn't remember if they had ever even talked about it. In their line of work death was looming behind every corner. He just didn't think it would visit so suddenly.

"Are you sure about this?", asked (Y/N). It wasn't the answer Tangerine had expected and for once it left him speechless. It was an easy question, just like the question that he had asked. He had expected a yes or a no. Not a question in return. (Y/N) saw Tangerine's facial expression change. He looked hurt. (Y/N) gently cupped his face with their hands. "Don't be sad, I didn't mean it like that", their other hand came to rest on Tangerine's waist, "I just need to know if you really want this. I couldn't take it if you changed your mind and left". "I've never been so sure about anything in my life before", Tangerine's answer wasn't louder than a whisper, he couldn't remember the last time he had been that shaken up about something. "Then my answer is yes", said (Y/N). They both very uncharacteristically started crying tears of relief a few moments later.

Would his love wait for him? Was there room to wait in death? Tangerine couldn't imagine the most adorable and loving person he had ever met to be tortured in hell. They had been deadly in the field, but they had always avoided murder. (Y/N) had been a thief, a con artist, the most talented one in the business. Whatever more or less illegal thing needed to be stolen, it was guaranteed that (Y/N) would find and retrieve it. That's how he had first met them.

"Lemon", Tangerine searched around the safe frantically, "there's no box in here". "It needs to be there, we searched the whole place", answered Lemon. "Are you guys searching for this?" , (Y/N) was met with two guns to their face. "Give us the box, we won't hesitate to kill you", threatened Tangerine. "There will be no need, I'll give it to you. Just ask nicely next time", (Y/N) held out their hand so Lemon, who was standing closest to them, could take the box. "What's the trap?", Tangerine was suspecting the new character to have some sort of backup plan. "There's no trap. I stole this thing for the sake of stealing it. No one asked me to. I don't even want it, so take it and bring it back to whoever hired you and we'll all get out of here unharmed", (Y/N) still was holding out their hand. Lemon, who had always been better at reading people, took the box. Lemon and Tangerine both holstered their guns. "I'm out of here, see you guys around", (Y/N) disappeared as quickly as they had shown up.

No, they couldn't be in a worse place than before. Tangerine already experienced the world to be an unfair place, he would like to think that the afterlife would treat them better. (Y/N) had never worked a job that would get someone into danger who hadn't deserved it. They'd been precise and avoided every form of collateral damage. They'd been a good person.

The twins had run into (Y/N) a couple of times and soon developed a friendship with them, but Lemon could see that his brother was interested in more than a friendship with the thief. Tangerine thought he was being subtle, but it was quite obvious to everyone around except for (Y/N) who was oblivious to the fact that Tangerine returned the feelings they were so desperately trying to hide. It took lots of convincing from Lemon's side to finally get Tangerine to confess. So one day Tangerine asked (Y/N) to retrieve another box for them. He didn't tell (Y/N) about the contents of the box, but (Y/N) had a great time searching for it. They loved a challenge. When they finally returned and handed the box to Tangerine, he shoved it right back into their hands. "Open it", it was almost a question. (Y/N) opened the box and unfolded the piece of paper that came into their view. It contained the sweetest love confession that (Y/N) had ever read. They looked at Tangerine with a soft expression and soon they shared their first kiss as a couple.

The apartment was awfully quiet. Lemon hadn't said a word in days and Tangerine couldn't bring himself to leave his room. The room he had formerly shared with (Y/N). He slept on their side of the bed, if he managed to sleep at all. He couldn't comprehend that he'd have to keep going on without them. The sticker on (Y/N)'s bedside table came into his view. Edward. One day on a job Lemon had declared (Y/N) an Edward. (Y/N) had worn the sticker proudly on their shirt for the rest of the job and back at home stuck it to the bedside table for safekeeping. The sight of the sticker brought tears to Tangerine's eyes. (Y/N) had been calm and caring. They had deserved the Edward sticker. Meanwhile Tangerine wasn't too sure about himself. Would he be good enough to meet his love again once this life was all over? He didn't want to spend the afterlife without them. He didn't want to think about this anymore, but just like the compulsive need to steal, the thought of never meeting (Y/N) again wouldn't leave him alone.

Ladybug x Reader

Lemon and Tangerine x platonic! Reader

Lemon and Tangerine wonder who their sibling (reader, referred to as Grapefruit) is going out with. They don't really like what they discover.

Warnings: mentions of former injury, mentions of death and gun violence, fighting between siblings, mentions of anxiety, ibuprofen, not proofread

"No, completely out of question", Tangerine was yelling, "you're not going on this job!". "But I'm ready, besides I can't let you guys go on more jobs alone, it's driving me insane!", Grapefruit stood up from their spot on the couch. "You need time to fuckin heal, you looked like a sieve when we found you after that job and your arm is still healing", things could get loud when Tangerine and Grapefruit were fighting. Lemon knew better than to try and calm them down yet. They would yell at each other for some time and then later on both come crying to Lemon before apologizing to each other and their brother. "If anything, it'll kill me to keep worrying about you guys like that. I'm doing this", Grapefruit had started pacing by now, "I don't want this to end like Bolivia or even worse, like that train incident where I had to pick you up out of a train wreck". "Just sit this one out, it's not that hard. And it'll leave you more time for that guy you're shagging", it dawned on Tangerine that he had fucked up. "You take this back instantly, young man!", Grapefruit didn't care that they were only a few years older than the twins. Tangerine needed a moment to recover and Lemon was already hoping that this would be the end of the fight, but his brother had other plans: "You're so fuckin obvious about it too, you're always texting some guy and never tell us about him, you willingly take phone calls!" "It's none of your business! Anyways, I can never tell you about any guys if I don't want them to end up beaten to the verge of death", Grapefruit had that look on their face and Lemon knew that this fight could quickly escalate now. It was only thanks to Lemon that Tangerine and Grapefruit haven't messed up the living room due to a brawl between siblings in nearly fifteen years. "Alright, this is enough", Lemon stepped in between his siblings, "we should all calm down and discuss this properly once you're both cooled off". He moved Grapefruit to the couch, not oblivious to them cradling their freshly healed arm in the other one. Then he maneuvered Tangerine, who was nervously playing around with his rings, into the kitchen and proceeded to make three cups of tea. From then on the evening went smoothly. Just like Lemon had predicted, in less than an hour both his siblings were crying, then apologized and soon all three of them were sitting in front of the TV, watching some ancient VHS tape from their childhood.

The next morning Lemon and Tangerine left for another job, Grapefruit had agreed to stay at home this time, but they demanded frequent updates on how the job was going. Grapefruit started to get bored when they got a text from a certain guy. Ladybug. Grapefruit could honestly say that they had completely fallen for Ladybug. They admired how caring and sweet he was. He seemed to have an anxiety issue he was working on, just like Grapefruit was working on their own mental health, but with Ladybug it always felt safe to discuss these things. Grapefruit texted back, they'd meet up for a coffee date in the afternoon.

After hanging around in their room and calling Lemon and Tangerine to hear if everything was going well, Grapefruit made their way to the coffee shop. Ladybug was waiting outside and greeted them with a hug. They spent a nice afternoon together and Ladybug had offered to walk Grapefruit home (not completely home, but into their living area). It had become night by then, so Grapefruit called their brothers to hear how the job was going, wished them a good night and went to bed.

Lemon and Tangerine returned home the next day, late in the afternoon. The job had been an easy one and Lemon and Tangerine didn't have any major injuries, just a few bruises and scratches. They found Grapefruit resting on the sofa on the verge of falling asleep, which didn't keep them from announcing their return. Grapefruit needed a moment before sitting up and greeting their brothers. Lemon was the first one to reach Grapefruit who still looked half asleep. "You alright?", asked Grapefruit. "The job went well, but it was exhausting", Lemon took a quick look at Grapefruit's injured arm. It still looked properly bandaged but Lemon noticed something else. He had to tell Tangerine about this so he started making his way to the bathroom. Tangerine followed after greeting Grapefruit and making sure they went back to sleep.

"Did you see it?", asked Lemon. "See what? You'll have to be more specific", Tangerine began scrubbing his hands. "Grapefruit's wrist", began Lemon, "they used to wear two identical bracelets". "Yeah, they've been wearing these for the past two decades. What about it?", he searched the cabinet for nothing specific. "One of the bracelets has been exchanged. They wore two stainless steel chain bracelets, now it's only one and another different bracelet. Silver. Beaded", Lemon was always the twin who paid more attention to details. "What are you hinting at?", asked Tangerine. "Do you know who wears a bracelet like this?" "Oh fuck this", Tangerine buried his face in his hands in frustration, "it's Ladybug".

The brothers couldn't ignore this new bit of information. It wasn't like Grapefruit knew anything specific about what happened on the bullet train. They had picked their siblings up in a hurry, their only words being: "This time I don't even want to know". Grapefruit had been angry back then, but the twins knew that it was only because they worried about their brothers and had been scared about losing them. Grapefruit had never asked about the train again and didn't know who had been involved in the whole ordeal, which put Lemon and Tangerine in a very tricky situation. Ladybug knew about Grapefruit's two brothers, but didn't place the pieces together yet to understand that they were Lemon and Tangerine.

A few days later Grapefruit was getting ready to go out. "Do you have places to be?", asked Tangerine. "I'm going out", they secured the two bracelets around their wrists and dumped their house keys, wallet and phone into a bag. "Alone?", Tangerine began to have an idea already. "I'm going on a date and I'd like both of you to behave while I'm gone", Grapefruit downed an ibuprofen with a glass of tap water. Healing was taking longer than they had expected. "Share your location", instructed Lemon, "and text us when you arrive". Grapefruit didn't disagree. They didn't want their brother to worry more than necessary.

The restaurant wasn't far away and Grapefruit had picked it for their date with Ladybug for a couple of reasons. They could reach it on foot, Grapefruit knew their way around the restaurant and the waiter was happy to let customers point to their meal of choice on the menu instead of making them say the order out loud. This would be helpful for both Ladybug and Grapefruit. Ladybug arrived a few minutes later, Grapefruit took his hand to lead him into the building. They had a reservation for a nice little table in the corner of the room and for once Ladybug and Grapefruit were feeling relatively safe. No problems occurred while ordering and the food didn't take long to arrive.

Ladybug and Grapefruit barely could take their eyes off each other, it was clearly visible to everyone that they were in love. Even Lemon and Tangerine saw it and they were lurking into the restaurant from a high up window that could only be reached by stepping onto the garbage container outside. "I can't believe they're going out, he fucking shot me", muttered Tangerine. "Grapefruit doesn't know about that though, they don't even know that he's been on the train", Lemon tried to remember if Grapefruit could know Ladybug from somewhere else. "They never met on any jobs that I've been on with Grapefruit so it was either a job they finished alone or when you were with them. I don't understand this anyway, Ladybug is ancient compared to them", Tangerine didn't know it yet, but that was the hint to make Lemon remember something. "That's because they're ancient history", exclaimed Lemon, "remember when Grapefruit and I finished that job in Johannesburg?". "The one where you shot Ladybug?", the gears began to turn in Tangerine's head. "Exactly, I shot him twice and Grapefruit had something going on with another assassin during that time, but they never wanted to tell us who it was", concluded Lemon. "So they had something going on with him for years and never fucking told us", Tangerine got angry. "You don't know about that, maybe they just reconnected, I mean they only started acting strange a few weeks ago". "Lemon, I have a plan", and Tangerine dragged Lemon into the restaurant through the back door.

Meanwhile Ladybug and Grapefruit finished up their dessert. "It's very nice here", said Ladybug, "I never knew about this place before". "It's my favourite", answered Grapefruit, "this place always feels so safe". Ladybug agreed. They sat for a while, holding hands. It felt nice to not be in a rush for once, they didn't really have much time for each other when there were jobs to do. Eventually, Grapefruit decided to pay for both of them. Ladybug excused himself to the bathroom, he would mail the money back later. "Are you sure you'll find the way on your own?", asked Grapefruit. "I'm sure", and Ladybug made his way through the restaurant.

When he reached his destination and opened the bathroom door he jumped back, because he was suddenly face to face with Lemon and Tangerine. "Shit, what are you guys doing here? Do you want to scare me to death?", he leaned against the wall behind him. "We're here to ask you about how long your business with our sibling has been going on", Tangerine looked very intimidating. "You are Grapefruit's siblings?", looking back it made sense to Ladybug. "Did you really meet a person called Grapefruit and never considered even once that you know two other people called Lemon and Tangerine who could very much be related to them?", Lemon was much calmer than Tangerine. "Not really", Ladybug still tried to comprehend what consequences this would have. "I'm gonna tell them that you were the one who drugged Lemon and fucking shot me on that train", Tangerine had to be held back by Lemon. "You won't", tried Ladybug. "That's right, I won't. But only because Grapefruit would be upset by it". "What we're trying to say is that if you mess up, we're coming after you", said Lemon, "and there'll be a few more bullets used than back in Johannesburg, do you understand?". Ladybug just nodded. "Alright, now that this is clear, go on and finish this date", Tangerine and Lemon left as fast as they had arrived.

Some headcanons for Lemon dating an autistic person

Notes: based on how I experience my own autism

Warnings: mention of bullying

Lemon can sense it when you get overwhelmed. He knows what it's like to be confronted with a situation and not being able to filter the input sometimes, so if he notices that something is off he'll leave the situation with you

You'll do the same thing for him. Lemon doesn't get overwhelmed as easily, due to his job, but if he gets uncomfortable you'll lead him away from the situation

He will learn about your interests, so he can understand all the references you make. You learn about his interests too and you love having conversations about each other's favourite topics for hours.

Lemon knows how to communicate with you even at times when you're unable to talk and he would never make you feel weird for not being able to do things

Both of you are familiar with each other's routines and if you need to be reminded to do something, Lemon will leave a post it note for you

You carry an extra sheet of Thomas stickers around in your pocket where you keep your own comfort item or stim toy in case Lemon loses his own

He makes sure to always have some of your comfort food at his place in case you need to stay over

If people look at you weirdly in public and it makes you uncomfortable, he won't hesitate to call them out for their behaviour (only if you're comfortable with it, otherwise he'll comfort you and then you go on with your day)

When you're not able to meet for a few days, he'll talk to Tangerine about how much you mean to him

You're very protective of Lemon and would never let anyone say bad things about him

You were a bit nervous about meeting Tangerine, because meeting new people can be intimidating

There was no need to worry though, Tangerine would never treat you weirdly or make fun of your autism (and Lemon prepared both of you beforehand so the meeting wouldn't get awkward)

If someone dares to make fun of you and Lemon while Tangerine is also there, that person should run because Tangerine will make their life hell afterwards

You and Lemon enjoy sitting on the floor together while you both do your own thing like reading or crafting something

It's safe to stim when Lemon is around. You can flap your hands, rock back and forth and repeat all the noises you need to repeat. Lemon just lets you do your thing (and he actually thinks it's quite cute)

Your chat conversation is an ongoing chain of "this reminded me of you" with photos of the things you saw that reminded you of the other

Lemon and Tangerine x Reader platonic

Based on the song Du hast den Farbfilm vergessen (You forgot the colour film), because I think it has Tangerine energy.

The twins and their mission partner (reader, referred to as Grapefruit) go on vacation

Warnings: mentions of blackmailing, some fighting

"How could you do this?", Tangerine sounded broken. "Calm down, it's going to be okay", Grapefruit tried to get their partner to calm down. Lemon had come rushing into the room as soon as he had heard the screaming: "What's going on, are you both okay?".

"I forgot the colour film at home", answered Grapefruit. Lemon stared at his brother and his friend in confusion. "That's right, Grapefruit forgot the colour film at home. How are we supposed to take vacation photos like this, no one will believe how nice the scenery looked", Tangerine was already on the verge of freaking out again. "I wasn't aware that anyone would even bring the camera", stated Lemon, "or did you leave it at home as well?" "I brought the camera, like I put it on our checklist. The camera and the rest of the monochrome film, because we had tons of that laying around and unless my targets are senior citizens I have no use for it. Blackmail only works if you post it online these days, I don't need to bring the Polaroid on jobs anymore", Grapefruit snapped a picture of the unfolding drama and shook it until it showed a very fussy Tangerine and a rather unimpressed Lemon.

"You brought your Walkman on the last mission to listen to 80s synth pop, why was it so hard to bring colour film like I asked you to do?", it seemed like Tangerine was slowly calming down a little. "Because our last Mission was incredibly boring, it was only bearable with music". "That's right, it was a pretty boring mission", agreed Lemon, "and I've seen the Walkman on their list for that mission. Everything that's on the list will be brought along." "Are you seriously siding against your own brother here? Whatever, I asked you to bring colour film", Tangerine pouted.

Ladybug (Bullet Train) x Reader platonic

Ladybug and Glasses (reader) are on a mission together. Things don't go as planned.

Warnings: mentions of gun violence, blindfolds

"Glasses!"

"Ladybug!"

The two assassins dodged a few bullets and quickly hid in what appeared to be a storage room. They stayed silent until they were sure that the attackers had left. "How do we always end up in these situations?", Ladybug was sitting against the wall, slightly rocking back and forth. "We're made for this kind of mission. They give us an easy job and we turn it into something absolutely unbelievable", answered Glasses.

"We could disguise ourselves, if you gave me your glasses", suggested Ladybug. "Forget about it, Bug. Not now and not in the future. It's a big no just like the hundred times before that you asked me", they sighed. "Why not?" "Because your glasses are just a disguise, I actually need mine to see", they absentmindedly gripped the (colour) frame of their glasses. "Why didn't you change to contact lenses, you tried that back in the day. The only problem about that was that your codename didn't make any sense anymore, not that it makes more sense with your glasses on because it's kind of obvious…"

"Ladybug, you're rambling", Glasses paused for a second before diving into explanations, "I can't wear contacts for these unbelievably long missions, it's 10 hours maximum. And glasses are way more useful, they can have secret functions when I request them for missions and most importantly I can see better through glasses than through contact lenses". "Alright, I get it. What do your glasses do this time? " "Nothing. If you put aside the fact that they help me see and I pretty much need to do that", Glasses tried to stay as calm as possible.

"Why don't you give your glasses to me, I'll put them on and no one will recognize me, so it won't matter that everything will be blurry", he got lost in this horrible idea for a plan. "Yeah, but you're missing the point. I'd be left with my poor excuse of an eyesight", the discussion wasn't going anywhere. "Do it with your eyes closed, it's going to be like back in Missouri when they blindfolded you and you still defeated everyone", Ladybug looked a bit proud of himself. "What did I tell you about Missouri?" "We don't talk about Missouri…but talking about it would be the only way for you to get over it", stated Ladybug. "That's why it's we don't talk about Missouri, not Glasses and their therapist don't talk about Missouri", and it was the truth. Glasses talked about Missouri a lot in therapy. "We need a new plan then", Ladybug began shifting around in the uncomfortable storage room.

"Did you bring a gun?", asked Glasses.

"Of course not, did you bring one?"

"No, why would I?"

"I guess we'll have to MacGyver this mission then"