i'd ditch your sorry ass too if i were your wife

i have a lot of thoughts on this, and think it deserves an in-depth analysis. let's start with the "makoto has romantic feelings for majima" thing. this idea is first introduced in the text by shimano and sagawa in chapter 15, which is pretty late into the game

look at how dismissive and disrespectful the language is. makoto and her feelings are simply something to be used to further their own ends, tools, objects. her trust for majima is a resource to be exploited. and they think they've got her figured out, without having even met her. this even echoes the sentiment in the line below

he might've been right about predicting majima's actions, and he might be right about makoto trusting majima for real as a result of all this, but they are the ones choosing to interpret this as romantic love. in fact, it's not even a conscious choice, it's an *assumption*

i find it interesting that they chose to put this in majima's hostess dialogue in this game specifically. there's something similar in y3 too, in rikiya's "hometown girl" substory where, natsumi is referred to as rikiya's "childhood friend" the *entire* time except when her friends are making fun of rikiya, who just assume they must've had a romantic involvement, an example of the "small-time thinking" majima is talking about here. i'm pointing this out because it tells me that the writers are very aware of the subtleties of what they're writing, and i think this should be kept in mind when interpreting shimano and sagawa's assumptions about makoto. personally, i don't think it's fair to makoto to interpret what they're saying as having any bearing on her actual feelings. so i don't take this scene into account when analyzing this subject

now, another important scene re: makoto's feelings is this one from the y0 finale

i've talked about this scene before, but this is basically sera advising majima not to become makoto's saejima. and it's good advice, because look at what that did to majima. he spent his whole life waiting for a chance to make amends. it's basically the reason he's still alive -- so that saejima, IF he ever makes it out of prison, has the opportunity to kill him, or exact whatever punishment he feels majima deserves. i would like to emphasize here that saejima is on death row, and majima has literally no reason to think him getting out is something that is particularly *likely* to occur. he's just doing all this on the *off chance* that it does, somehow, happen

now, let's look at what makoto has to say about all this

she is already blaming herself for the fact that she never even got to *thank* majima. she sees this as a failure on *her* part. but the thing is, even if she were to somehow get the opportunity, majima would never *accept* her thanks anyway, because he feels wholly, totally, completely and utterly *undeserving* of it. nothing he could do could ever make up for the fact that he was *going* to kill her, that his own boss (and clan!) was using her like a puppet for his own selfish ends, and he was complicit in all of it. his own boss, who majima has gone back to working under after all this! there is nothing in any of this, according to majima at least, that makoto should be *thanking* him for. it was less than even the *bare minimum*

so what does he do? he avoids even giving her the opportunity. he doesn't believe in saying "no, really, you shouldn't thank me", because majima believes in actions. he thinks it's utterly meaningless to *say* this to a person after you've already given them a chance to thank you. he is so determined not to let her do this. and majima really does think this way, we see this in pirates so much, that he, like... tries to control people's emotional reactions because he wants to give them the experience he thinks they deserve to have. noah *cannot* regret choosing to follow his dreams. makoto *cannot* feel grateful to majima for saving her life. because he's trying to PROVE something to them.

think about it, if you were makoto's friend, and she was telling you about how she thinks she's "terrible" for not getting to thank her would-be assassin, what would you tell her? wouldn't you say, "no, come on, that's not fair to you. he doesn't even deserve your thanks, he was going to kill you!" because you want her to value herself more, to prioritize her own safety instead of being grateful for the bare minimum. this is the same approach majima takes, because he is uncharitable towards himself. ESPECIALLY after how his own boss planned to use that feeling of gratefulness and trust. i think he feels disgusted with himself about *all* of y0, and that makoto feeling grateful to him only aggravates that feeling

i find this scene so interesting, because it takes place shortly after shimano reveals his plans (and majima feels SO bad about being played, of being his "clown", that he lets some punks beat him up) and look at what majima is STILL doing here. he's still trying to find a "best of both worlds" solution, where both his superiors get their way, and makoto gets to stay safe. shimano told her to bring her back as an honored guest, and he's trying to do exactly that. it's so scummy lmao. like yes, obviously he wants to keep her alive, but he still can't say "fuck the yakuza, fuck this, this is wrong and i won't be part of it" because he needs to get back into the clan. for saejima.

and she throws it back in his face! and says if you want to help me, help me KILL these guys. because they killed my brother and i want revenge. and he feels so bad about himself, about the way he's conducted himself throughout this game, for LETTING himself be taken advantage of, that he accepts this. he'll do whatever it takes to help makoto, and he'll let her dictate the terms of that help, for ONCE. for ONCE he is respecting makoto's agency, especially in this moment because he finally empathizes with her about his autonomy being compromised, after being misled by shimano. he finds himself in the same position he'd been putting makoto in this whole time. so against his better judgment (he literally pushes back against her in this scene), he agrees to help makoto kill dojima and his allies.

what stops him is sera's advice. and this is also why sera's advice *worked*, he hit majima in the one place he could never overlook -- that makoto would feel EVEN MORE indebted to him if he killed dojima for her. which is what he wants to avoid more than anything

and yes, it worked, but it was already too late. because look at what happened. 18 years later, this is still how she feels. in her own words

she was moved by majima's willingness to go out of his way to help someone (her) who was essentially a stranger. but look how much she credits him with (again, this post)!!

she is genuinely happy with her life, but she can't escape the fact that she OWES her life to majima.

she has REGRETTED it EVER SINCE. its been almost two decades, and she's been living with this regret! majima DID become her saejima! the exact outcome majima wanted to avoid. and he pulls a face after she says this, too, he's not happy to hear it at all. and it gets worse:

this is literally exactly what majima is doing with saejima. he's just waiting for a chance, however unlikely, that he will get to (effectively) apologize to saejima. they both feel indebted to someone they can never pay back, and they want to remedy this. this is what the game is telling us, this is the text. i find these lines to be much more indicative of makoto's actual feelings than whatever sagawa and shimano were theorizing in y0.

now, for your actual question -- would makoto leave her husband to be with majima. none of what i've said actually disproves she has romantic feelings for him, it just offers an explanation for her feelings and behavior that doesn't *rely* on romantic feelings. and the game certainly plays with this too

this is probably the thing that leads to people thinking she's hung up on majima. i think there's two interpretations of this, either that he doesn't know ANYTHING about y0, or she's specifically talking about her decision to come back to sotenbori and the reason behind it. i will address both possibilities

if it's about the entire story of y0, i think this is very understandable as she has so many reasons to want to keep that a secret, to fully put it behind her. it was so, so traumatizing for her, and she wants a fresh start. she wants to Move On from it. plus, she's telling this to who she thinks is a complete stranger. she's trusting a complete stranger with this story over her own husband. do you think that's because she doesn't *really* love him? or does it have something to do with the fact that she doesn't want anything to do with that time in her life anymore, doesn't want a reminder of it, doesn't want her husband to think any differently of her for it, especially considering how embarrassed and ashamed she was of herself throughout most of it. she felt weak and helpless, and the people around her *treated* her like she was weak and helpless. she doesn't want anybody to see her that way anymore. even in this, she is a parallel to majima, who invents the mad dog persona to move on from a previous era of his life where HE felt weak and helpless, and even before that he's buried his past. we know nothing about his background, because he wants it that way.

if it's specifically about majima, and her staying in sotenbori, i understand how this *looks really bad*, and i've even seen people call this "emotional cheating" (not gonna get into that) but again, i don't think it necessarily points to any romantic feelings. because this? what she's talking about, staying in sotenbori just because she might see him again? it's simply insane person behavior. she's insane for that one. youre crazy, girl! and it's also, once again, EXACTLY what majima has done with saejima. he went back to the clan for *him*. and dedicated his life to having the opportunity to see saejima One More Time. even though it is so, so unlikely to ever happen. and anyone who cares about makoto would tell her Not to do this, to move on with her life, to stop beating herself up over not getting to thank someone who tried to kill her. similarly to how everyone wants to tell majima to just forgive himself and live his life for himself, to move on. but i think hearing that advice wouldn't help makoto, it would just make her feel even lonelier. because no one gets her. and no one WILL get her, because she's trauma bonded to majima, and everyone who knew her in y0, including majima, are out of her life now. and only they know what she went through. it was a life-changing event that *no one* will understand, because they weren't there, and you simply *had* to be there. and no one will understand why she feels the way she feels now, because it's simply an unreasonable thing to feel in this position. gratitude. *and* guilt over not having an opportunity to express it. this is very similar to majima's unreasonable guilt over not being there for saejima in '85. because he also tried his best, and they overpowered him. he was not at fault for what happened, yet he blames himself anyway, because he takes *full* responsibility for himself, his life, and in his mind, everything that happens to him happens because he *lets* it happen.

but so i can understand, EASILY, why she would want to keep this from her husband, without it having anything to do with being hung up on majima *romantically*

i will also say that this scene at the end of y0 can be interpreted as an implication that her heart's with majima instead of this guy, because she literally turns from him to watch majima leave. if you watch it, it really does evoke that. but again, with everything else i've talked about, i don't think this is the most accurate interpretation of this scene. i think she's hung up on What Just Happened, she says just before this that "his eye looked so sad", it's a weird interaction and she doesn't know what to make of it. and this scene IS meant to make the audience think she will never "get over" majima, because she doesn't! it's just not because she has romantic feelings for him.

another thing to keep in mind is that she knows majima is missing an eye, he reveals this to her in one of the earlier chapters. so, seeing a yakuza with an eyepatch, if i were her, i would immediately want to jump to conclusions. but that's wishful thinking. and she doesn't do that anymore, remember?

in majima saga as well, it's not made clear whether or not she "knows" majima is the person who helped her all those years ago. but i think it's fair to say she *suspects* it while she's giving him that massage, maybe because she remembered him from the scene above at the end of y0, or maybe because he's yakuza and has an eyepatch, we just don't know. and this is teased in the text as well -- she says she doesn't know why she's being so chatty today. implying there's a *reason* that she's not aware of. and she doesn't even tell him the whole story, just the part that concerns majima. and how *grateful* she feels. so maybe she didn't do it consciously, but subconsciously, on the off chance that the person hearing the story *is* the guy who helped her. which would, of course, mean that she finally, FINALLY, after 18 years, got to thank him for his help.

and guess what!

this is the note they end her story on. she no longer has any regrets, because she realizes (thanks to the watch band majima gifted her) that yes, that WAS the guy who helped her, and she DID get to tell him how grateful she is to him. the thing that had been keeping her hung up on majima, and y0, and that entire era of her life, the one final thing, is finally resolved. she no longer has to feel guilty about this. she has said her thanks to him, he got to hear it. she can move on. this was her y4 saejima and majima reunion.

so, to finally answer your question: no, i don't think she would "leave her husband" to be with majima, under any circumstances, including if she figured out who he was while giving him the massage, because i don't think her interest in majima ever had anything to do with romance. and i don't think there's anything to indicate she's unhappy with her life as it is. she's specifically grateful to majima for being the one to ENABLE this happiness for her. she IS truly, genuinely, happy. i don't see a reason to not take her at her word, because she does openly talk about the stuff you'd think she would have reason not to admit to herself, such as staying in sotenbori to meet him again, etc. i think she's honest with herself about her feelings and motivations

i have a lot of thoughts on this, and think it deserves an in-depth analysis. let's start with the "makoto has romantic feelings for majima" thing. this idea is first introduced in the text by shimano and sagawa in chapter 15, which is pretty late into the game

look at how dismissive and disrespectful the language is. makoto and her feelings are simply something to be used to further their own ends, tools, objects. her trust for majima is a resource to be exploited. and they think they've got her figured out, without having even met her. this even echoes the sentiment in the line below

he might've been right about predicting majima's actions, and he might be right about makoto trusting majima for real as a result of all this, but they are the ones choosing to interpret this as romantic love. in fact, it's not even a conscious choice, it's an *assumption*

i find it interesting that they chose to put this in majima's hostess dialogue in this game specifically. there's something similar in y3 too, in rikiya's "hometown girl" substory where, natsumi is referred to as rikiya's "childhood friend" the *entire* time except when her friends are making fun of rikiya, who just assume they must've had a romantic involvement, an example of the "small-time thinking" majima is talking about here. i'm pointing this out because it tells me that the writers are very aware of the subtleties of what they're writing, and i think this should be kept in mind when interpreting shimano and sagawa's assumptions about makoto. personally, i don't think it's fair to makoto to interpret what they're saying as having any bearing on her actual feelings. so i don't take this scene into account when analyzing this subject

now, another important scene re: makoto's feelings is this one from the y0 finale

i've talked about this scene before, but this is basically sera advising majima not to become makoto's saejima. and it's good advice, because look at what that did to majima. he spent his whole life waiting for a chance to make amends. it's basically the reason he's still alive -- so that saejima, IF he ever makes it out of prison, has the opportunity to kill him, or exact whatever punishment he feels majima deserves. i would like to emphasize here that saejima is on death row, and majima has literally no reason to think him getting out is something that is particularly *likely* to occur. he's just doing all this on the *off chance* that it does, somehow, happen

now, let's look at what makoto has to say about all this

she is already blaming herself for the fact that she never even got to *thank* majima. she sees this as a failure on *her* part. but the thing is, even if she were to somehow get the opportunity, majima would never *accept* her thanks anyway, because he feels wholly, totally, completely and utterly *undeserving* of it. nothing he could do could ever make up for the fact that he was *going* to kill her, that his own boss (and clan!) was using her like a puppet for his own selfish ends, and he was complicit in all of it. his own boss, who majima has gone back to working under after all this! there is nothing in any of this, according to majima at least, that makoto should be *thanking* him for. it was less than even the *bare minimum*

so what does he do? he avoids even giving her the opportunity. he doesn't believe in saying "no, really, you shouldn't thank me", because majima believes in actions. he thinks it's utterly meaningless to *say* this to a person after you've already given them a chance to thank you. he is so determined not to let her do this. and majima really does think this way, we see this in pirates so much, that he, like... tries to control people's emotional reactions because he wants to give them the experience he thinks they deserve to have. noah *cannot* regret choosing to follow his dreams. makoto *cannot* feel grateful to majima for saving her life. because he's trying to PROVE something to them.

think about it, if you were makoto's friend, and she was telling you about how she thinks she's "terrible" for not getting to thank her would-be assassin, what would you tell her? wouldn't you say, "no, come on, that's not fair to you. he doesn't even deserve your thanks, he was going to kill you!" because you want her to value herself more, to prioritize her own safety instead of being grateful for the bare minimum. this is the same approach majima takes, because he is uncharitable towards himself. ESPECIALLY after how his own boss planned to use that feeling of gratefulness and trust. i think he feels disgusted with himself about *all* of y0, and that makoto feeling grateful to him only aggravates that feeling

i find this scene so interesting, because it takes place shortly after shimano reveals his plans (and majima feels SO bad about being played, of being his "clown", that he lets some punks beat him up) and look at what majima is STILL doing here. he's still trying to find a "best of both worlds" solution, where both his superiors get their way, and makoto gets to stay safe. shimano told her to bring her back as an honored guest, and he's trying to do exactly that. it's so scummy lmao. like yes, obviously he wants to keep her alive, but he still can't say "fuck the yakuza, fuck this, this is wrong and i won't be part of it" because he needs to get back into the clan. for saejima.

and she throws it back in his face! and says if you want to help me, help me KILL these guys. because they killed my brother and i want revenge. and he feels so bad about himself, about the way he's conducted himself throughout this game, for LETTING himself be taken advantage of, that he accepts this. he'll do whatever it takes to help makoto, and he'll let her dictate the terms of that help, for ONCE. for ONCE he is respecting makoto's agency, especially in this moment because he finally empathizes with her about his autonomy being compromised, after being misled by shimano. he finds himself in the same position he'd been putting makoto in this whole time. so against his better judgment (he literally pushes back against her in this scene), he agrees to help makoto kill dojima and his allies.

what stops him is sera's advice. and this is also why sera's advice *worked*, he hit majima in the one place he could never overlook -- that makoto would feel EVEN MORE indebted to him if he killed dojima for her. which is what he wants to avoid more than anything

and yes, it worked, but it was already too late. because look at what happened. 18 years later, this is still how she feels. in her own words

she was moved by majima's willingness to go out of his way to help someone (her) who was essentially a stranger. but look how much she credits him with (again, this post)!!

she is genuinely happy with her life, but she can't escape the fact that she OWES her life to majima.

she has REGRETTED it EVER SINCE. its been almost two decades, and she's been living with this regret! majima DID become her saejima! the exact outcome majima wanted to avoid. and he pulls a face after she says this, too, he's not happy to hear it at all. and it gets worse:

this is literally exactly what majima is doing with saejima. he's just waiting for a chance, however unlikely, that he will get to (effectively) apologize to saejima. they both feel indebted to someone they can never pay back, and they want to remedy this. this is what the game is telling us, this is the text. i find these lines to be much more indicative of makoto's actual feelings than whatever sagawa and shimano were theorizing in y0.

now, for your actual question -- would makoto leave her husband to be with majima. none of what i've said actually disproves she has romantic feelings for him, it just offers an explanation for her feelings and behavior that doesn't *rely* on romantic feelings. and the game certainly plays with this too

this is probably the thing that leads to people thinking she's hung up on majima. i think there's two interpretations of this, either that he doesn't know ANYTHING about y0, or she's specifically talking about her decision to come back to sotenbori and the reason behind it. i will address both possibilities

if it's about the entire story of y0, i think this is very understandable as she has so many reasons to want to keep that a secret, to fully put it behind her. it was so, so traumatizing for her, and she wants a fresh start. she wants to Move On from it. plus, she's telling this to who she thinks is a complete stranger. she's trusting a complete stranger with this story over her own husband. do you think that's because she doesn't *really* love him? or does it have something to do with the fact that she doesn't want anything to do with that time in her life anymore, doesn't want a reminder of it, doesn't want her husband to think any differently of her for it, especially considering how embarrassed and ashamed she was of herself throughout most of it. she felt weak and helpless, and the people around her *treated* her like she was weak and helpless. she doesn't want anybody to see her that way anymore. even in this, she is a parallel to majima, who invents the mad dog persona to move on from a previous era of his life where HE felt weak and helpless, and even before that he's buried his past. we know nothing about his background, because he wants it that way.

if it's specifically about majima, and her staying in sotenbori, i understand how this *looks really bad*, and i've even seen people call this "emotional cheating" (not gonna get into that) but again, i don't think it necessarily points to any romantic feelings. because this? what she's talking about, staying in sotenbori just because she might see him again? it's simply insane person behavior. she's insane for that one. youre crazy, girl! and it's also, once again, EXACTLY what majima has done with saejima. he went back to the clan for *him*. and dedicated his life to having the opportunity to see saejima One More Time. even though it is so, so unlikely to ever happen. and anyone who cares about makoto would tell her Not to do this, to move on with her life, to stop beating herself up over not getting to thank someone who tried to kill her. similarly to how everyone wants to tell majima to just forgive himself and live his life for himself, to move on. but i think hearing that advice wouldn't help makoto, it would just make her feel even lonelier. because no one gets her. and no one WILL get her, because she's trauma bonded to majima, and everyone who knew her in y0, including majima, are out of her life now. and only they know what she went through. it was a life-changing event that *no one* will understand, because they weren't there, and you simply *had* to be there. and no one will understand why she feels the way she feels now, because it's simply an unreasonable thing to feel in this position. gratitude. *and* guilt over not having an opportunity to express it. this is very similar to majima's unreasonable guilt over not being there for saejima in '85. because he also tried his best, and they overpowered him. he was not at fault for what happened, yet he blames himself anyway, because he takes *full* responsibility for himself, his life, and in his mind, everything that happens to him happens because he *lets* it happen.

but so i can understand, EASILY, why she would want to keep this from her husband, without it having anything to do with being hung up on majima *romantically*

i will also say that this scene at the end of y0 can be interpreted as an implication that her heart's with majima instead of this guy, because she literally turns from him to watch majima leave. if you watch it, it really does evoke that. but again, with everything else i've talked about, i don't think this is the most accurate interpretation of this scene. i think she's hung up on What Just Happened, she says just before this that "his eye looked so sad", it's a weird interaction and she doesn't know what to make of it. and this scene IS meant to make the audience think she will never "get over" majima, because she doesn't! it's just not because she has romantic feelings for him.

another thing to keep in mind is that she knows majima is missing an eye, he reveals this to her in one of the earlier chapters. so, seeing a yakuza with an eyepatch, if i were her, i would immediately want to jump to conclusions. but that's wishful thinking. and she doesn't do that anymore, remember?

in majima saga as well, it's not made clear whether or not she "knows" majima is the person who helped her all those years ago. but i think it's fair to say she *suspects* it while she's giving him that massage, maybe because she remembered him from the scene above at the end of y0, or maybe because he's yakuza and has an eyepatch, we just don't know. and this is teased in the text as well -- she says she doesn't know why she's being so chatty today. implying there's a *reason* that she's not aware of. and she doesn't even tell him the whole story, just the part that concerns majima. and how *grateful* she feels. so maybe she didn't do it consciously, but subconsciously, on the off chance that the person hearing the story *is* the guy who helped her. which would, of course, mean that she finally, FINALLY, after 18 years, got to thank him for his help.

and guess what!

this is the note they end her story on. she no longer has any regrets, because she realizes (thanks to the watch band majima gifted her) that yes, that WAS the guy who helped her, and she DID get to tell him how grateful she is to him. the thing that had been keeping her hung up on majima, and y0, and that entire era of her life, the one final thing, is finally resolved. she no longer has to feel guilty about this. she has said her thanks to him, he got to hear it. she can move on. this was her y4 saejima and majima reunion.

so, to finally answer your question: no, i don't think she would "leave her husband" to be with majima, under any circumstances, including if she figured out who he was while giving him the massage, because i don't think her interest in majima ever had anything to do with romance. and i don't think there's anything to indicate she's unhappy with her life as it is. she's specifically grateful to majima for being the one to ENABLE this happiness for her. she IS truly, genuinely, happy. i don't see a reason to not take her at her word, because she does openly talk about the stuff you'd think she would have reason not to admit to herself, such as staying in sotenbori to meet him again, etc. i think she's honest with herself about her feelings and motivations

it's sagawa who first puts forward the idea that it's easier to kill someone who's going around hurting women, but he knows majima well enough by now, and majima absolutely sees it that way.

when majima talks to one of the girls that work for lee, he finds out everything sagawa told him was bullshit

then he convinces himself it doesn't matter -- but note that he feels the *need* to convince himself. he's actively working against his own moral compass here, and talking himself into going through with killing him, BECAUSE he's feeling hesitation. this to me is highlighted even further when he actually goes to hogushi kaikan to kill him

he literally has to give himself a pep talk and again, convince himself this is worth it, he has no reason to hesitate, he *has* to do this. and EVEN after that. look at what he tells lee just before their fight

he's STILL trying to justify this somehow, he's clinging to whatever possibility there is of this guy not being a saint so he can feel justified in killing him. and none of this, NONE of this is a coincidence -- it's not a coincidence that majima's hesitation around killing someone is brought about because of their tendency to help vulnerable women, it's not a coincidence that his idea of "justifying" this to himself involves this guy "roping phone girls into doing *weird* research" for him (taking advantage of women), and it's not a coincidence that his mark is initially presented as a man and it later turns out to be a woman. which! even THEN majima is ready to kill her until the Last moment, even after saving her from a bunch of guys that tried to kidnap her, even after he watched her be dragged out of hogushi haikan kicking and screaming and asking for help. more on this later*

but here's why i don't think it was arbitrary. if sagawa had said, "this guy, makimura makoto, your mark, is an ex chinese mafia hitman and he's killed countless people, he's a terrible person" that wouldn't have... resonated with majima at all. or any yakuza for that matter. why? because taking advantage of women is worse than killing people? well, it probably IS to these people. at least to those of them that actually care about honor and have principles. it's "dishonorable" to take advantage of women, and honor is a BIG deal for yakuza. but the fact that the yakuza is a deeply patriarchal organization is not irrelevant here. "honor" is directly tied to agency. your capacity to act honorably depends entirely on your capacity to act freely. because it's about what you CHOOSE to do. this is why "acting honorably" is synonymous with "being a man". women don't even enter the equation here.

and if sagawa had said that, it would not have fazed majima. because it's a man's world -- because men killing each other, hurting each other, fucking each other over, taking what they own by force, are all done as part of a rivalry, a competition, a game they are willing and EQUAL players in. and this means, to them, that they are all consenting players whether they like it or not. as long as they are able to act freely, as long as they have agency. "honor" is something afforded to "players" in this game. women are exempt from the burden of having to act honorably, but only because they are denied agency. in turn, any harm done to them reflects badly on men, but men hurting each other is seen as just business as usual.

so as far as majima understands it, men have *agency* in this world -- their world. and majima's whole worldview is fundamentally misogynistic in the sense that it doesn't acknowledge women as having real agency. makoto is THE best example of this. all those times majima and lee conspired about what to do for her, about her, in her name, to protect her, to get her somewhere, etc. without once asking her what SHE wants to do and HOW she wants to do it is the best example of this. and it's truly unrelenting. like there are Moments where he respects her. but ultimately majima never learns. until the LAST MOMENT. WHERE HE LITERALLY. PICKS OUT A HUSBAND FOR HER. MY GOD. kiryu and sera are the only people in that game that treat makoto like a real human being with agency. lee and majima, they see girls as precious things to protect, but "things" regardless -- it's why majima still considered killing her after all that. a thing is a thing, it's yours (or someone else's) to decide what to do with. he is completely and utterly blind to her humanity, the fact that she has an internal experience of the world, has her own wants and needs and preferences, and that it Matters. more on this later, too*

but the thing is, majima's worldview being misogynistic is like... it's a matter of just accepting things at face value. majima doesn't negotiate with facts. he doesn't negotiate with reality. he doesn't try to change it or argue with it unless he has incredibly specific personal motivation to do so, and it's always on an individual level. so when majima, a person living in this world, looks around himself and tries to *understand* the world so he can survive in it, and sees that women are afforded less privilege and agency by the power structures that shape human society, he doesn't hesitate to accept this state of affairs. trying to fight it on a structural level would only make *his* life harder, and he doesn't believe in *causes*. so he can only help women on the individual level. but again, he sees that as something akin to charity.

if you asked him, he'd say it doesn't take a genius to figure out women have it harder in this life -- but note how this is admitting that it's less desirable to BE a woman. and this is where we get to the real crux of the issue: being a woman is majima's absolute worst nightmare. because to him, it's synonymous with being denied agency. and majima has PERSONALLY suffered from this way, way too much. AND he has been "othered" by men his whole life. his relative lack of social power compared to men, his inability to benefit from his status as a "man" in society due to him not being fully recognized as such for one reason or another (as i've talked about in the previous post) IS the reason for this anxiety. majima is disproportionately afraid of "being a woman" BECAUSE he's been treated similarly BY men. so he has to work twice as hard to retain his foothold in "manhood" -- a status that affords him agency. (again, i highly recommend this article)

the fact that makoto, a character that parallels majima 1:1 on everything, is a woman is also not a coincidence. majima looks at her and sees a version of himself that:

has lost sight in *both* eyes

is unable to repress her fear and betray herself like he has learned to do (aka ruled by her emotions)

is physically not strong and lacks the technique/skill to fight and DEFEND herself

is denied agency by society at large

is unable to be completely self-reliant due to these factors

in other words, majima's very own worst nightmare. these are literally majima's checklist of, like, his own scariest vulnerabilities according to him. makoto represents everything he's afraid of. my friend @rumbleredee articulated it beautifully once: he doesn't want to be anything like the men who hurt makoto but he also doesn't want to be anything like makoto. at the same time, makoto is both everything majima has ever wished he could be and everything he is terrified of being. that is to say: himself. makoto is a version of majima that he has done and is willing to do Anything to avoid becoming, and she's real, right there, in the flesh.

and the fact that she's a woman is! VERY! interesting!

*now, to address those previous points. majima is blind to makoto's pain because he has to be, because he has learned to be, and it's not just makoto. it's all women. but he cannot completely close his heart off to them either. but why? WHY even try? it's because. and i realize this is fully insanity territory im entering here but. it's because it disgusts him. makoto is hard to Look At because she is a mirror. and the things about majima that cause him to relate to women so strongly -- those things have always been a disadvantage for majima in his life. because majima *also* feels unsafe around men. and majima *also* wants protection. majima also has to work harder to gain their respect. majima is also objectified. majima is also Never Going To Be One Of Them. majima is also terrified of being at their mercy.

so he sees himself in makoto. he sees himself in women. and the part of majima that relates to them has been shown exactly ZERO amount of compassion or understanding. definitely not growing up, not by society at large, and MOST CERTAINLY not by himself. i touched on this in this post before, but majima loathes fear, *and* men who let it rule them. but this is projection. it's because he's had to repress his own so strongly. i also have my suspicions that his obsession with Really Big Men has to do with his insecurities about being scrawny and physically weak ("you are what i've always wished i could be") but that's for another post. but my point is, majima is ashamed of these things about himself. he is not kind to himself about them. he thinks that if there's trauma he can't move on from, trauma from being abused by men, it's a skill issue.

ok. i'm bringing out the big guns for this post. here's the single most impactful piece of writing i've ever read about majima, from expert in seduction by dictionarywrites (which happens to be my favorite yakuza fic)

it's about permission. it's about giving himself permission to be these things, to Want to be these things. to be worth protecting and treating kindly. it's about shame. and as long as he cannot do that, he also cannot look at makoto too long or too hard, cannot bear her pain, cannot empathize with her, cannot AFFORD to. because of what it will force him to confront about himself.

now, you might be wondering why the hell i talked about all this when your question very straightforward in what it's asking. i've been meaning to make a post about this for a while now, and i think it adds an interesting dimension to what you were talking about.

yes, majima attaches himself to men who are protective of women. but majima has a *problem* with men. and it's not just a problem with "bad" men, or men who hurt or take advantage of women. majima specifically has a bone to pick with *good* men. or at least, men he perceives to be good. i mentioned this at the start, too, but part of his test of kiryu's character aims to discern how he treats women. but the fact that he's testing kiryu at all is remarkable to me. why? why are you TESTING men? why are you testing *good* men, specifically? the literal main reason majima decided to turn kiryu into his personal pet project was because kiryu expressed some idealistic notions about ethics.

i think his lack of trust in men is not unrelated to... literally any of this. why is your first instinct, when you see a man say something you think is morally correct, to push him until he breaks to "prove" it's all talk? to expose the lie? you WANT him to be true. it's about trying to prove to *himself* that it's possible. because deep down, he wants to believe it. he wants to believe he can trust men. that "good ones" exist.

so the fact that he attaches himself to men who treat women well is like. yes. but even that isn't enough. there's still a whole TRIAL he has to subject them to. before he can *really* trust them. he's constantly TESTING them. he is specifically DIFFICULT to men who do NOT deserve it. because the rest are already instant write-offs to majima. and the fact that he makes himself difficult On Purpose. the way he treats saejima in pirates. GOOD lord. WHY are you constantly TRYING to DRIVE GOOD MEN AWAY. (i know why. and now you do too. if youre also insane. welcome to hell)

i have a lot of thoughts on this, and think it deserves an in-depth analysis. let's start with the "makoto has romantic feelings for majima" thing. this idea is first introduced in the text by shimano and sagawa in chapter 15, which is pretty late into the game

look at how dismissive and disrespectful the language is. makoto and her feelings are simply something to be used to further their own ends, tools, objects. her trust for majima is a resource to be exploited. and they think they've got her figured out, without having even met her. this even echoes the sentiment in the line below

he might've been right about predicting majima's actions, and he might be right about makoto trusting majima for real as a result of all this, but they are the ones choosing to interpret this as romantic love. in fact, it's not even a conscious choice, it's an *assumption*

i find it interesting that they chose to put this in majima's hostess dialogue in this game specifically. there's something similar in y3 too, in rikiya's "hometown girl" substory where, natsumi is referred to as rikiya's "childhood friend" the *entire* time except when her friends are making fun of rikiya, who just assume they must've had a romantic involvement, an example of the "small-time thinking" majima is talking about here. i'm pointing this out because it tells me that the writers are very aware of the subtleties of what they're writing, and i think this should be kept in mind when interpreting shimano and sagawa's assumptions about makoto. personally, i don't think it's fair to makoto to interpret what they're saying as having any bearing on her actual feelings. so i don't take this scene into account when analyzing this subject

now, another important scene re: makoto's feelings is this one from the y0 finale

i've talked about this scene before, but this is basically sera advising majima not to become makoto's saejima. and it's good advice, because look at what that did to majima. he spent his whole life waiting for a chance to make amends. it's basically the reason he's still alive -- so that saejima, IF he ever makes it out of prison, has the opportunity to kill him, or exact whatever punishment he feels majima deserves. i would like to emphasize here that saejima is on death row, and majima has literally no reason to think him getting out is something that is particularly *likely* to occur. he's just doing all this on the *off chance* that it does, somehow, happen

now, let's look at what makoto has to say about all this

she is already blaming herself for the fact that she never even got to *thank* majima. she sees this as a failure on *her* part. but the thing is, even if she were to somehow get the opportunity, majima would never *accept* her thanks anyway, because he feels wholly, totally, completely and utterly *undeserving* of it. nothing he could do could ever make up for the fact that he was *going* to kill her, that his own boss (and clan!) was using her like a puppet for his own selfish ends, and he was complicit in all of it. his own boss, who majima has gone back to working under after all this! there is nothing in any of this, according to majima at least, that makoto should be *thanking* him for. it was less than even the *bare minimum*

so what does he do? he avoids even giving her the opportunity. he doesn't believe in saying "no, really, you shouldn't thank me", because majima believes in actions. he thinks it's utterly meaningless to *say* this to a person after you've already given them a chance to thank you. he is so determined not to let her do this. and majima really does think this way, we see this in pirates so much, that he, like... tries to control people's emotional reactions because he wants to give them the experience he thinks they deserve to have. noah *cannot* regret choosing to follow his dreams. makoto *cannot* feel grateful to majima for saving her life. because he's trying to PROVE something to them.

think about it, if you were makoto's friend, and she was telling you about how she thinks she's "terrible" for not getting to thank her would-be assassin, what would you tell her? wouldn't you say, "no, come on, that's not fair to you. he doesn't even deserve your thanks, he was going to kill you!" because you want her to value herself more, to prioritize her own safety instead of being grateful for the bare minimum. this is the same approach majima takes, because he is uncharitable towards himself. ESPECIALLY after how his own boss planned to use that feeling of gratefulness and trust. i think he feels disgusted with himself about *all* of y0, and that makoto feeling grateful to him only aggravates that feeling

i find this scene so interesting, because it takes place shortly after shimano reveals his plans (and majima feels SO bad about being played, of being his "clown", that he lets some punks beat him up) and look at what majima is STILL doing here. he's still trying to find a "best of both worlds" solution, where both his superiors get their way, and makoto gets to stay safe. shimano told her to bring her back as an honored guest, and he's trying to do exactly that. it's so scummy lmao. like yes, obviously he wants to keep her alive, but he still can't say "fuck the yakuza, fuck this, this is wrong and i won't be part of it" because he needs to get back into the clan. for saejima.

and she throws it back in his face! and says if you want to help me, help me KILL these guys. because they killed my brother and i want revenge. and he feels so bad about himself, about the way he's conducted himself throughout this game, for LETTING himself be taken advantage of, that he accepts this. he'll do whatever it takes to help makoto, and he'll let her dictate the terms of that help, for ONCE. for ONCE he is respecting makoto's agency, especially in this moment because he finally empathizes with her about his autonomy being compromised, after being misled by shimano. he finds himself in the same position he'd been putting makoto in this whole time. so against his better judgment (he literally pushes back against her in this scene), he agrees to help makoto kill dojima and his allies.

what stops him is sera's advice. and this is also why sera's advice *worked*, he hit majima in the one place he could never overlook -- that makoto would feel EVEN MORE indebted to him if he killed dojima for her. which is what he wants to avoid more than anything

and yes, it worked, but it was already too late. because look at what happened. 18 years later, this is still how she feels. in her own words

she was moved by majima's willingness to go out of his way to help someone (her) who was essentially a stranger. but look how much she credits him with (again, this post)!!

she is genuinely happy with her life, but she can't escape the fact that she OWES her life to majima.

she has REGRETTED it EVER SINCE. its been almost two decades, and she's been living with this regret! majima DID become her saejima! the exact outcome majima wanted to avoid. and he pulls a face after she says this, too, he's not happy to hear it at all. and it gets worse:

this is literally exactly what majima is doing with saejima. he's just waiting for a chance, however unlikely, that he will get to (effectively) apologize to saejima. they both feel indebted to someone they can never pay back, and they want to remedy this. this is what the game is telling us, this is the text. i find these lines to be much more indicative of makoto's actual feelings than whatever sagawa and shimano were theorizing in y0.

now, for your actual question -- would makoto leave her husband to be with majima. none of what i've said actually disproves she has romantic feelings for him, it just offers an explanation for her feelings and behavior that doesn't *rely* on romantic feelings. and the game certainly plays with this too

this is probably the thing that leads to people thinking she's hung up on majima. i think there's two interpretations of this, either that he doesn't know ANYTHING about y0, or she's specifically talking about her decision to come back to sotenbori and the reason behind it. i will address both possibilities

if it's about the entire story of y0, i think this is very understandable as she has so many reasons to want to keep that a secret, to fully put it behind her. it was so, so traumatizing for her, and she wants a fresh start. she wants to Move On from it. plus, she's telling this to who she thinks is a complete stranger. she's trusting a complete stranger with this story over her own husband. do you think that's because she doesn't *really* love him? or does it have something to do with the fact that she doesn't want anything to do with that time in her life anymore, doesn't want a reminder of it, doesn't want her husband to think any differently of her for it, especially considering how embarrassed and ashamed she was of herself throughout most of it. she felt weak and helpless, and the people around her *treated* her like she was weak and helpless. she doesn't want anybody to see her that way anymore. even in this, she is a parallel to majima, who invents the mad dog persona to move on from a previous era of his life where HE felt weak and helpless, and even before that he's buried his past. we know nothing about his background, because he wants it that way.

if it's specifically about majima, and her staying in sotenbori, i understand how this *looks really bad*, and i've even seen people call this "emotional cheating" (not gonna get into that) but again, i don't think it necessarily points to any romantic feelings. because this? what she's talking about, staying in sotenbori just because she might see him again? it's simply insane person behavior. she's insane for that one. youre crazy, girl! and it's also, once again, EXACTLY what majima has done with saejima. he went back to the clan for *him*. and dedicated his life to having the opportunity to see saejima One More Time. even though it is so, so unlikely to ever happen. and anyone who cares about makoto would tell her Not to do this, to move on with her life, to stop beating herself up over not getting to thank someone who tried to kill her. similarly to how everyone wants to tell majima to just forgive himself and live his life for himself, to move on. but i think hearing that advice wouldn't help makoto, it would just make her feel even lonelier. because no one gets her. and no one WILL get her, because she's trauma bonded to majima, and everyone who knew her in y0, including majima, are out of her life now. and only they know what she went through. it was a life-changing event that *no one* will understand, because they weren't there, and you simply *had* to be there. and no one will understand why she feels the way she feels now, because it's simply an unreasonable thing to feel in this position. gratitude. *and* guilt over not having an opportunity to express it. this is very similar to majima's unreasonable guilt over not being there for saejima in '85. because he also tried his best, and they overpowered him. he was not at fault for what happened, yet he blames himself anyway, because he takes *full* responsibility for himself, his life, and in his mind, everything that happens to him happens because he *lets* it happen.

but so i can understand, EASILY, why she would want to keep this from her husband, without it having anything to do with being hung up on majima *romantically*

i will also say that this scene at the end of y0 can be interpreted as an implication that her heart's with majima instead of this guy, because she literally turns from him to watch majima leave. if you watch it, it really does evoke that. but again, with everything else i've talked about, i don't think this is the most accurate interpretation of this scene. i think she's hung up on What Just Happened, she says just before this that "his eye looked so sad", it's a weird interaction and she doesn't know what to make of it. and this scene IS meant to make the audience think she will never "get over" majima, because she doesn't! it's just not because she has romantic feelings for him.

another thing to keep in mind is that she knows majima is missing an eye, he reveals this to her in one of the earlier chapters. so, seeing a yakuza with an eyepatch, if i were her, i would immediately want to jump to conclusions. but that's wishful thinking. and she doesn't do that anymore, remember?

in majima saga as well, it's not made clear whether or not she "knows" majima is the person who helped her all those years ago. but i think it's fair to say she *suspects* it while she's giving him that massage, maybe because she remembered him from the scene above at the end of y0, or maybe because he's yakuza and has an eyepatch, we just don't know. and this is teased in the text as well -- she says she doesn't know why she's being so chatty today. implying there's a *reason* that she's not aware of. and she doesn't even tell him the whole story, just the part that concerns majima. and how *grateful* she feels. so maybe she didn't do it consciously, but subconsciously, on the off chance that the person hearing the story *is* the guy who helped her. which would, of course, mean that she finally, FINALLY, after 18 years, got to thank him for his help.

and guess what!

this is the note they end her story on. she no longer has any regrets, because she realizes (thanks to the watch band majima gifted her) that yes, that WAS the guy who helped her, and she DID get to tell him how grateful she is to him. the thing that had been keeping her hung up on majima, and y0, and that entire era of her life, the one final thing, is finally resolved. she no longer has to feel guilty about this. she has said her thanks to him, he got to hear it. she can move on. this was her y4 saejima and majima reunion.

so, to finally answer your question: no, i don't think she would "leave her husband" to be with majima, under any circumstances, including if she figured out who he was while giving him the massage, because i don't think her interest in majima ever had anything to do with romance. and i don't think there's anything to indicate she's unhappy with her life as it is. she's specifically grateful to majima for being the one to ENABLE this happiness for her. she IS truly, genuinely, happy. i don't see a reason to not take her at her word, because she does openly talk about the stuff you'd think she would have reason not to admit to herself, such as staying in sotenbori to meet him again, etc. i think she's honest with herself about her feelings and motivations