1.
Dear disabled artist,
do not busy yourself with sorry
no pigment holds apology
as well as it carries your anguish.
Do not be sorry
for your pain,
the rancid flesh of your heart.
They will war over your body,
Death, a spectacle of flowered braids.
They will dream away the crippled Commie,
the lame baroness of Marx manifesto
but, they will keep the brow
like a lifeline, the valley in the pulse.
Vitals, the hair on my face was no accident.
2.
I was never an artist first,
the hurt came, a puberty
of shattered hip and pelvis,
the sheared womb,
the surgeries a monthly menstruation
to put me back.
As if the able body was my default
as if the kid-cripple died at impact.
To resurrect a normal woman,
a doctored ideal, franken-stitched
from a gimp girl corpse.
Recovery wasnât meant for me,
no grayscale glinted scalpel would change that.
The accident was a puberty, a miscarriage, a eulogy;
the phoenix birth of artist, still it burned.
3.
Promise to create. Dear
crippled poet. Do not stop
the flurry of soul. Do not stop
the tragedy. Your heart,
however fast
the decay, still beats a smile
at a glimpse of homeland,
fatherâs eyes when he laughed,
the soft whine of your dog.
Give your ailment a name,
coerce the devil until you find yourself a twin.
Embrace the misery as bitter tequila, burn
your ears, adorn your sick
in yellow daisies, take them prisoner.
Hold your captives,
cactus needle close, as lovers
and remember your power.
4.
Always paint in bed.
your pajama spine like chipped china.
The hue comes monsoon season;
leave the damage splattered sheets,
remember to make love in puddles.
Your prosthetic is lingerie,
withered muscle an aphrodisiac
your facial hair a weapon.
Dress Tehuana to hide the backbrace,
keep the cane close by, the derby handle
a small consolation of a loverâs hand.
Paint your portrait fifty five times;
write the same poem over and over
until the page is opaque as cinder and bled with ink;
take your own photo, full-tooth
lipstick and furry upper lip.
Create the masterpiece youâve always needed,
but never apologize for your pain.
