Mais

You knew the risks that came with dating a doctor when you and Heeseung had first gotten together. Sure it was amazing dating someone as intelligent and dedicated to career as him but sometimes that came at the expense of your relationship.

Heeseung was very committed to his job despite all the things that came as a consequence of it. Although he was frequently overworked, burnt out or simply just exhausted, he would always push through when it came to work, determined to still provide his patients with the best care possible.

However, at times it felt as though he took his anger, which was truly a culmination of all his stresses from work, out on you even though it wasn’t your fault. At first, he was better at expressing his emotions, better at telling you when he had a rough day at work and needed some alone time which you would always respect. But as of recently it felt like this wasn’t happening as much anymore.

Instead of actually having a conversation and allowing you to comfort and console him, he’d lash out at you when it all got too much. Obviously he never meant to direct his anger towards you but now because of this the two of you argued often.

Tonight didn’t seem to be an exception to this.

You’re in the kitchen preparing a dinner for you and Heeseung to share before he goes to work, when he walks in dawning his hospital attire. “Hee, I thought you weren’t at work until 7 tonight??” You look down at your watch confirming that it’s in fact still five o’clock and that you aren’t running late.

“Sorry sweetheart, i got called in early because of a massive influx of patients,” he gives you a sincere, apologetic look sensing that you’re upset about the rare time the two of you can spend together being interrupted.

“B-but I thought you said tonight we could finally have a few hours of peace to ourselves…just me and you. No work.”

Heeseung sighs, pulling you into his arms. He knows he isn’t the best at expressing his emotions but his heart breaks every time it feels like he’s sacrificing you for his job. “I know sweetheart, I know. But unfortunately the circumstances changed and these people could be really sick. They need me right now.”

That was true, but you also needed him right now. “God why did I have to end up dating someone more dedicated to their career than me. It’s annoying,” you swear it’s supposed to come off as a joke, that you said it in a sarcastic tone. But it doesn’t seem to land that way, instead it sounds more like a criticism or insult.

Immediately you feel Heeseung pull away slightly causing you to miss his warmth as the atmosphere shifts to a much colder one. “W-wait Hee I didn’t…I didn’t mean to say that. I-I’m so sorry…I-i don’t know…”

“You seriously think it’s annoying that I actually care about my job?! Y/N do you know how much effort to get where I am today??” No ‘sweetheart’, no other form of stupid name. You’d royally screwed up here. “You know how much of my life I gave up to go to medical school. So yeah I’d say I am pretty damn dedicated to this job, I’m sorry that’s an inconvenience to you.”

He begins to walk towards the door about to leave but you grab onto his wrist trying to stop him from doing so. “I-I’m sorry Hee…I am so sorry. I-I didnt mean it…I-“

“Y/N, I don’t have the time for an apology right now. I know you might not mean it but I have to go. There are patients who need me.”

Reluctantly, you let go of him and he walks out of the house, the door slamming coldly behind him. Leaving you and your tears of frustration alone in the now tense apartment.

🫀

Heeseung doesn’t let your argument get to him too much once he arrives at the hospital. Like he’d already stressed to you multiple times, there were patients who needed him and he couldn’t let something so silly affect the standard of care they received. So he pushed any thought about you or that incident out his mind, fully switching into professional mode.

He doesn’t bother to check up on you during his break despite the fact deep down he does feel rather guilty for leaving you at home alone in such an upset state. He knows that you never truly meant to hurt him. Sure this job was mentally draining for him but also for those close to him, sometimes because of it they were pushed to the side even when Heeseung wanted them to be close.

He’s quickly snapped out of his thoughts by the voice of his colleague next to him, “Heeseung we need you. Some idiot ran a red light a few blocks away, a pedestrian got hit. They’re being brought here now.”

Within seconds Heeseung shifts from worried boyfriend back into doctor mode. “What’s the ETA??” He asks, voice firm.

“When I last heard it was 5 minutes but that was around 3 minutes ago so they’ll be here any moment now.”

True to his colleagues prediction barely a minute later, the doors to the ER burst open and a gurney is wheeled in. “Female, early to mid twenties, multiple injuries but vitals are stable for now!!” The paramedic shouts over the chaos of doctors and nurses.

To most people for now would’ve been good, it meant nothing bad had happened just yet. But here it almost always meant something would happen shortly afterwards.

That’s when Heeseung catches a glimpse of it. The promise ring he’d bought you a few months ago for your birthday. The tiny, gold ring catches in the glint of the fluorescent hospital lights and that’s when it well and truly hits him.

The woman lying on this hospital bed right now, the one who he has to treat, it’s you. His girlfriend. The one who he hadn’t bothered to check up on even though he knew you were upset. But now here you were, fate had brought you back together in a cruel way rather than the reconciliation that Heeseung would’ve liked.

He shakes that thought away, pulling himself back into the present. ‘Just another patient’ he tries to tell himself. Except this wasn’t just another patient, this was his love, his sweetheart and now her life rests in his hands.

Normally you’d hate him for being this dedicated to his job, but now he has to, for you.

Again, he switches back into doctor mode again. “What’s her BP now??” He asks a nearby nurse as he moves to take control of the room.

“Dropping slightly but still stable.”

Heeseung nods and leans down by your head in the name of ‘standards checks’ before speaking to you, his voice inaudible to everyone else but your unconscious body. “Sweetheart I know you’re probably mad at me right now but do not pull anything stupid on me right now. For me to apologise I need you to be conscious and alive not in this state.”

God he feels like such an idiot. He imagines that if you could see him right now you’d probably start laughing at him for turning into such a big softie.

“Why would someone even go out at night in such dark clothes…” one of the interns comments to another. “Surely she must’ve had a death wish, there was no way anyone would be able to see her.”

Heeseung’s expression darkens, “Are you seriously blaming the victim rather than the imbecile who decided to run a red light and hit her?!” He snaps at them, “The both of you can get out. Evidently you’re here to gossip, not help people.”

“Are you sure you want them out of here?? They could be of use if we need more hands later on??” A nurse whispers, trying to reason with him.

He promptly shakes his head, “If we need more hands we’ll find capable ones instead of ones who do not take the care of our patients seriously.”

He promptly shakes his head, “If we need more hands we’ll find capable ones instead of ones who do not take the care of our patients seriously.”

“Possible internal bleeding…someone page surgery and tell them they need an OR.”

As you’re wheeled towards the operating room, Heeseung stays by your side for as long as physically possible until his credentials can’t allow him to proceed any further. He slides down the wall, face in his hands as the doors slam shut behind you.

🫀

It’s not until a couple hours later when someone finally emerges from the doors. Heeseung has been sitting there, waiting, the entire time. His colleagues don’t bother to question his disappearance—they could already tell from how protective he was being, that there was something between the two of you.

His friend, Jungwon, who also happens to be a surgeon approaches him. “Something up with you Hee?? You know that girl??”

Heeseung looks at him with teary eyes before nodding. “Yeah um…” he pauses trying to think of the correct way to phrase it. After all, your relationship had pretty much been a secret from everyone apart from your families. “Yeah um she’s my girlfriend.”

Jungwon’s eyes widen, “Shit man…I’m sorry. What even happened??”

“I-I don’t know…I got called into work again early today even though I’d promised we could finally have a bit of time to ourselves. We got into an argument because of it but…I had to be here and then I-I don’t know what happened after.”

“Guess the universe made you spend time together after all,” Jungwon murmurs before realising that’s probably not what Heeseung needs to hear at this moment.

The two of them sit in silence for a little while, only the sounds of the busy hospital occasionally breaking it before Jungwon speaks up again. “Well you didn’t hear this from me but…I heard they were taking her to room 203. The nurses up there like you so maybe they’ll let you stay up there even though it’s technically past visiting hours.”

For a second hope glimmers in Heeseung’s eyes as he pushes himself off the wall. “Thanks Jungwon!! I owe you one!!” He says before rushing off towards room 203.

When he finally reaches the room you’re supposedly in he pushes the door open cautiously, just in case Jungwon overheard the wrong room number. But luckily for Heeseung, Jungwon was in fact correct and the nurse who was checking on you swiftly moves aside once she realises your relationship.

Heeseung sinks down into the chair beside your bed. He takes your hand gently into his as though you're something delicate he’s scared to break. Carefully he adjusts his grip to make sure he doesn’t disturb any of the IV tubes in order to help you recover.

The entire situation felt unknown to him. Sure he was accustomed to seeing patients in this condition by now but not the one whom he loves most, you.

He sits there for hours and hours, tears silently falling from his eyes as he waits for you to finally awaken.

It’s not until around the middle of the night when you start to stir, the medication beginning to wear off is causing you to become increasingly uncomfortable and irritable. Before you’re fully awake and able to process where you are Heeseung has pressed the call button for a nurse.

“She needs some more pain meds…” he murmurs to the nurse who nods understandingly.

Despite the pain surging through your body you decide to make an attempt at sitting up instead of laying down. You feel a large, strong hand give you a small push back down onto the bed. “Sweetheart, it's me. Lie back down for me,” he soothes.

“Heeee?? That youuu?? I thought you were mad at meeee??” You slur, only slightly delirious from the pain medication.

He shakes his head, letting out a shaky breath as another tear rolls down his cheek. “No sweetheart I’m not mad…we can have this talk in the morning when you aren’t high out of your mind yeah??”

You gasp in offense, “I can’t be highhh!! You knowww I don’t do stuff like that silly!!”

His hand strokes your cheek tenderly, he manages to let out a watery chuckle at the fact you still have the same humour even in this state. “Right, silly me.”

The combination of the medication and just general exhaustion soon drags you back under into a deep, peaceful sleep. The nurse, who had been adjusting your medication, gives Heeseung a final sympathetic glance before exiting the room.

🫀

The next morning when you properly awaken for the first time since the accident, your entire body aches. It’s not the same sharp, stabbing pain that you vaguely remember being awoken by in the night but it still hurts.

Regardless of the pain you turn your head to see Heeseung slumped in the chair next to you. Still wearing his scrubs from the previous day, still clutching your hand in his.

You gingerly tap his hand wanting to wake him but also not startle him. When it doesn’t work after the first few tries you resort to making noise. “Heeeee,” you groan, your voice hoarse.

At the sound of your weak voice he wakes up almost instantly, scooting to the edge of his chair to be even closer with you. “Oh sweetheart…” he says, his voice already shaky again. Right now he wants nothing more than to embrace you in his arms.

“Hee,” you cough. “W-water please.”

Heeseung grabs the water bottle that one of the nurses had given him earlier on when they realised he had no intention to move from that seat until he had ensured you were okay. He tilts the water bottle up slightly, allowing you to drink easily without having to move too much. “Here. Take small sips, it should help your throat.”

Once your throat feels satisfied with the amount of water it’s received, Heeseung pulls the bottle away, placing it on a small table within your reach. “Never ever do anything like that ever again sweetheart. It scared the life out of me recognising your ring on that bloody gurney.”

“Sorryyyy. But then again I intended on going out for a walk to clear my head not to get hit by a car,” you defend.

“One of the interns said something about you and I genuinely almost lost it at them. I was so so scared of losing you sweetheart.”

You give a partially puzzled look, “So you aren’t mad at me anymore??”

Heeseung shakes his head, “Sweetheart seeing you like that it would be impossible to stay mad at you. Besides I eventually realised that you’d never mean it that way…and I get that work does take up a lot of my time but I would never ever put it over our relationship. I value that more than anything else in the world.”

“I guess I managed to find a loophole. You’re at work and now I’ve become your work aka your patient.”

“You’re unbelievable sweetheart.”

“Maybe,” you say with a shrug. “But I’m also yours.”

extra notes: can’t tell whether i love or hate this but leaning more towards love…

The plan was simple.

Ni-ki and the gang he had recently joined had been tasked with taking vengeance on a close friend of the chief of police, who’d been trying to take them down for months.

The friend who just so happened to be a rich collector with hundreds, if not thousands, of artefacts. To someone like ni-ki such things were valuable but also essentially pointless, especially when they were sitting on an old, wealthy man’s shelf. They’d be of much better use in his grasp.

The plan goes as follows: sneak in through the supposed ‘weak spot’, then head for the office, take what’s most valuable and leave before anyone could notice they were ever there.

Sounded easy but also eventful which was rather exciting for ni-ki in particular. He’d only recently joined this gang so this would be his first time with enough status to actually be trusted to go out and do something for once. This was his chance to get a good reputation on the others.

When the time finally rolls around for the heist, ni-ki and his other members pile into their van, the designated getaway vehicle. He’s practically bouncing up and down with excitement as he slides into his seat beside Jake.

“Jeez man, a simple heist surely cannot have you like this. You wouldn’t survive some of the other shit we’ve pulled,” Jake says, shaking his head.

“Hey!! God forbid I’m glad I actually get to do something,” ni-ki defends. “Besides I’m sure you would’ve been like this on your first time.”

Jake scoffs, “Nope. Unlike you I had some dignity and didn’t look like I was going to lose my mind over stealing a few collectibles. Also don’t get your hopes up, sure you’re here but you probably won’t be doing anything interesting.”

Ni-ki rolls his eyes dramatically, “Just you wait bro. I’m gonna prove you all wronggg…”

Heeseung turns around from the driver's seat. “I swear to god if the two of you don’t stop bickering I will crash this car before we can even get there.”

That shuts the both of them up. Crashing meant a failed heist which also meant no payout and without pay what really was the point in all of this??

Eventually the car pulls up in front of a rather luxurious looking house. “Alright this is our target boys,” Heeseung briefs. “If you guys aren’t in and out within twenty minutes I will not hesitate to slam on the accelerator and leave you all here for the cops to catch.”

Everyone nods understandingly, here time was of the essence. Every other second spent in that house was adding the risk of cops showing up and catching them in the act.

Nobody needed that.

The others start moving out whilst ni-ki stays stuck there for a moment staring at the building in awe. Growing up he’d never seen anything like this ever, so he couldn’t help but to take it all in. What he and his family could’ve had.

A pang of envy hit him at whoever happens to reside in that home. What had they done to deserve this other than being rich?? Ni-ki and his family had surely worked just as hard as these people yet why couldn’t they get this sort of lifestyle??

Unfortunately, that was just how the world seemed to be. Life was unfair and he couldn’t do anything about that.

“Riki,” Jake snaps his fingers in his face, breaking him out of his mind. “You coming or what?? We’re wasting valuable seconds right now.”

Ni-ki nods slowly, finally putting his emotions behind him, “Right.”

The two of them catch up to the others who are only slightly further ahead assessing the supposed ‘weak spot’ they’d been informed of. It’s a window leading up to a room where the curtains are drawn, “Reckon we could climb up there??” Jay asks.

Sunghoon, who’s by far the strongest of the group, nods. “I’ll wait down here and give people a boost up.”

One by one they all climb up into the room labelled as the weak spot where security was lower and there were more hiding spots. However what they don’t expect to see is you lying on the bed peacefully asleep.

“Holy shit…” Jungwon whispers. “Sunoo who the fuck are these supposed ‘sources’ of yours and why are they incapable of doing anything correctly?!”

“I-I don’t know!! They never told me that this room was a bedroom let alone had someone occupying it!!”

Jay pinches the bridge of his nose, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Right well the office is only a few rooms away but still we need someone to handle…this…” he gestures to the bed where you’re still asleep.

He looks around the room as though he’s about to choose someone to assign the job to when Jake speaks up. “Ni-ki can do it.”

“What?!” Niki's voice is slightly above a whisper which earns him a few glares and shushes from the others.

Sunghoon nods in agreement with Jake, “You’re the lowest ranking here, no offence. But lowest rank means shittiest jobs so you can wait here with sleeping beauty to ensure that the mission goes smoothly.”

Before ni-ki can even try to protest again the others are already gathering the necessary equipment. “Great, just great,” Ni-ki murmurs, sliding down the wall. “First proper job and I get stuck on babysitting duty. Absolutely fucking brilliant.”

He looks over at you and sees you’ve now turned to face his direction rather than the walls. God you’re pretty. Even in sleep he can tell that, the way your eyelashes fall gracefully onto your face, how your plump lips are slightly parted with the occasional soft snore escaping them.

Even for a criminal this was unprofessional. One of the first things taught is do not catch feelings for someone you’re taking from. And here he was breaking that very same rule on his first day.

In order to distract his mind from the thought of you he decides to do a bit of snooping around. Some would call that an invasion of privacy but ni-ki’s excuse was that it was part of the job. He’d already broken into your room in the middle of the night so pretty much every line had already been crossed. Surely knowing a little more info about you wouldn’t harm anyone.

Within the first few minutes he’s probably already learnt around twenty different things about you. After all, your room makes it rather obvious to figure these things out. He’s learnt purely from looking around that you’re 18, the same age as him, you do ballet and that you adore the colour pink.

Just as he’s about to continue searching for more information, he hears a small sound coming from the bed. Turning around he sees you waking up slightly, your eyes are barely open but when they meet his they are filled with fear.

Immediately he rushes over to you, placing his large hand over your mouth to muffle any possible sounds. “Shhh…it’s okay. Go back to sleep.”

God he sounded like an idiot right now. Telling you that everything was okay as though there wasn’t a random ass man in your bedroom right now. If the same thing happened to him that would not calm him down at all.

Once he realises that this tactic is going to get him absolutely nowhere, he crouches down beside the bed so he’s level with you before speaking gently. “I’m gonna move my hand away but you have to promise me you won’t scream. Okay??”

You nod fearfully and for some reason he believed you. To him you came across as the innocent type, the type who did as they were told.

True to Niki's prediction, when he removes his hand you don’t scream. Instead you let out a small whimper that is barely audible over the sounds of the night.

This time rather he sits in silence next to the bed. He’s trying to prove to you that he’s not a threat, not something that you should be scared of. That he’s just the same as any other teenage boy except he’s just living in slightly different circumstances to the ones you’re used to.

His plan seems to work as after another few minutes of letting the silence stretch out he hears your breathing begin to become more steady, more even. Maybe you finally trust that he’s not there to harm you.

He looks down at his watch and sees there’s only seven minutes remaining for him and the others to get out of here without being ditched by Heeseung. That means there’s no doubt they were almost done with the valuables and would soon return to the room where you were currently awake. Not a good first impression.

“C-could you try fall back asleep?? The others are gonna be back soon and I don’t want you to be scared by them…”

He wants to punch himself right then and there. Obviously you couldn’t just fall straight back asleep when there was a stranger in your home.

You let out a watery laugh, “How exactly am I supposed to fall asleep in a situation l-like this??”

“If you want me to be honest I have no idea…or I could try something?? Only if you let me though…”

You nod slowly, at this point you just wanted to sleep and forget this whole interaction ever occurred. Seeing that he has your permission ni-ki places his hand on your head and starts gently brushing them through your hair. Something that had always helped his younger sister fall asleep whenever she had nightmares.

Gradually, you feel yourself begin to involuntarily relax under his touch. Sleep begins to drag you under despite your defenses being stubborn.

“That’s it sweetheart…” ni-ki murmurs, trying to help you relax even more. Not even a few seconds later you’re out like a light again when the door starts pushing open.

Ni-ki quickly pulls his hand away before any of his other members could even form an idea of what’s just happened. They walk in, hands full with bags and bags of valuables.

“How was babysitting duty ni-ki??” Jake teases.

“Fine. Still don’t even understand the point of me doing this though. She hasn’t even budged once.”

Jay tosses him a bag, “Here. Take this and let’s get out of here.”

❤︎.

The next morning you wake up having slept surprisingly well given the events of last night. You hear the sound of sirens outside instantly, you're guessing that’s a consequence of whatever the hell that boy was doing in your room last night.

You can only hope it wasn’t something atrocious given the fact he was actually rather kind. You couldn’t picture him and whoever he was with doing something hideous to harm your family. But then again, you didn’t know him at all.

Your mothers voice comes from downstairs, shouting your name over and over again. You rush down the stairs, feet padding on the wooden floor. Her expression floods with relief the second she sees you perfectly fine and unharmed.

“W-what happened??” You ask, unsure whether to be curious or fearful.

“Someone broke in and stole all your fathers collections of artefacts. The police were saying given the secure layout of the house they could’ve only gained access through your bedroom. They’re saying they want to interview you…see if you saw anything.”

You couldn’t do that. Couldn’t be forced to rat them out. Sure they might be criminals but you were also too optimistic about humanity.

“D-do you think it could wait until t-tomorrow…” you feign stress and fear. “I’m still sort of shaken up by this entire situation. Also I think I could use some time to recall any key information…

Your mum gives you a sympathetic look, “I’ll have to have a word with the captain but I think that should be fine my dear. Now you should try to go get ready for school…it’s difficult to comprehend that all this happened but we should try to keep going.”

She gives you a considerate smile and a light tap on shoulder before disappearing off, probably to go and update the police on your reluctance.

You run back upstairs into your room. How on earth were you supposed to pull this off without getting that boy into trouble?! Not only did lying go against your morals but you were also a terrible liar at that. Any time you’d look around awkwardly and your cheeks would flush completely giving you away.

By the time the night comes you’d completely psyched yourself ready to put on one hell of a play tomorrow. You’d even consulted with some of the kids you wouldn’t even normally associate yourself with at school to give you some tips.

Apparently to be a good liar you had to do three simple things: be confident (already off to a bad start here), include tons of details and finally be consistent. How hard could that be??

You’re sitting on your bed rehearsing your performance for the cops tomorrow when you suddenly see a shadow on the lawn in front of your window. The figure moves into the glow of the street lamp which illuminates the features of the boy from the previous night. The one who had somehow managed to sweet talk you back to sleep despite the fact he’d broken into your house.

He signals to you to open the window and for some reason even though you barely know this boy you’re compelled to do so.

The window opens and he clambers in holding out a ‘bouquet’ of flowers—flowers which might have been picked from someone’s garden tied together by a string in an imperfect bow.

You raise an eyebrow, “And what are these for??”

“These are partially an apology for my members breaking and or ransacking your home last night. But they’re mainly from me to apologise for scaring the shit out of you.”

You giggle, taking the flowers from him to inspect them. “These are certainly interesting…” there’s an assortment of different types, some that are wilted whilst others look as though they’ve been well cared for.

Ni-ki chuckles, “Yeah well we don’t exactly have florists where I live sooo…let’s just say I may have taken them from someone more fortunate.”

Both of his statements cause you to frown, “You mean that your living conditions aren’t good so that’s why you have to steal??”

He can’t help but to let out another chuckle at your innocence about the world. Growing up in such a wealthy family you obviously hadn’t been exposed to the horrors of the poor conditions on the other side of town. That was in comparison to him who’d grown up in that environment so he was used to having to take what was needed to survive.

“Hey, it's not funny!!” You swat at his arm, “It’s bad that people have to do that!! We should be doing more to prevent this!!”

God you are too cute. So sheltered, so protected from seeing all the inequalities in this world. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion at how the world could possibly be so cruel and unfair. “You know what sweetheart you don’t worry your head about how I got these. Just take good care of them mkay??”

“Ugh, would you stop calling me sweetheart!!”

“Sorry sweetheart,” he teases. “But if you really wanna do all that formal shit…my names ni-ki or riki or whatever the hell you wanna call me.”

“Ni-ki,” you murmur under your breath, liking how it sounds before telling him yours.

“No offence but I think sweetheart is gonna stick. It’s what I called you at first and I like it soooo…”

You silently accept the fact that ni-ki is unwilling to use your name before speaking again, “You know the police know you got in through my room right?? Now I have to do some stupid interview with them tomorrow.”

He raises an eyebrow, “And why is that stupid sweetheart?? Normally the people from your family would jump at the chance for something like this…why not you hm??” He brushes a stray strand of hair away from your forehead. “You too scared to rat out some criminals??”

You shake your head, “I-I didn’t wanna rat you guys out…but im also a really bad liar.”

“A bad liar huh?? You’re too cute…” his expression turns slightly confused when he realises that you just admitted that you weren’t going to turn him in. “And why do you not wanna turn me in sweetheart. You rich people aren’t usually so charitable towards those like me.”

“Well…” you avert your gaze downwards sheepishly.

Ni-ki tilts your chin back up, “Look at me when you’re talking.”

Your cheeks burn and you’re not quite sure whether it’s from embarrassment or being flustered. “I didn’t wanna turn you in because on that night you were nice…I somehow slept better after that than I do on most nights. But now after learning more about you I don’t wanna do it even more.”

“So what do you like me now??”

“Hey stop putting words into my mouth!! I never said such things,” you defend.

“Okay then so how about I put it this way,” he pauses dramatically. “Because you know now that I’m poor and don't exactly have the best life, you think that my story is pitiful and you feel terribly for me so you don’t wanna rat me out to the cops.”

“Okay maybe the first one was more accurate after all…” you mutter, voice barely above a whisper.

“Oh so you do like me?!”

You shake your head, “Nuh uh!! I just mean that I don’t think I pity your life. Everyone’s life is different, we’re all raised in different ways and I guess that’s just what unfortunately happens. But some people like you manage to make it work.”

“You ever kissed anyone??” Ni-ki asks suddenly.

The abrupt change of subject catches you off guard but eventually you manage to shake your head slowly and let out a small, rather humiliated ‘no.’

Yep. You were 18 and had not once been kissed by anyone ever. Most people thought it was just down to your innocence, that you didn’t even know what it was, which was a pretty decent excuse. Except the truth was you just never thought anyone would like you like that.

“That’s a shame…” he murmurs. “If you did like me after all I’d offer to be your first but it seems that’s not the case.”

He begins to turn his back as though to leave when he hears your voice, “Wait!! Maybe I do like you…”

“How can I be so sure that you aren’t just desperate to be kissed.”

“Because I don’t care about being kissed, I care about you!! I care about you because even though you can come across slightly scary and sometimes you do bad things, you were still good to me. A-and I like that about you…”

He chuckles, “I knew you liked me. I just wanted to hear you say it first.”

Ni-ki leans down and presses a kiss into your lips. His lips are gentle against yours like he’s scared to break your innocence anymore than this act is already doing.

Carefully, he pulls away after a little while. “That good enough for you??” He asks his thumb affectionately caressing your cheek.

You nod slowly, still shocked by everything that had happened.

Ni-ki clears his throat glancing back at the window. “I should um probably go…but I’ll see you around. If you want??”

“Yeah…”

As he’s sitting on the window ledge about to climb back down, ni-ki gives you one last glance. “Oh and for that interrogation tomorrow. Give them hell sweetheart.”

He wanted a mini-jake.

That he could teach football to, that he could share everything he loved with. Essentially a child who was about 99.9% him and 0.1% you. Sure it would’ve been nice to have the perfect 50-50 but you didn't bother mentioning that to him.

But that all changed the second he caught a glimpse of the pink colour inside the gender reveal cake.

It was quite the shock to the system when he realised he’d have to adjust his fantasising about your future to a baby girl rather than the full mini clone of him. But it was certainly a change he was willing to make.

The nursery almost got an entire revamp. The walls Jake had intended on painting a sage green colour were immediately changed to a pale shade of pink.

“You do realise she might actually like sage green?? Everything doesn’t have to be pink just because she’s gonna be a girl,” you told him.

Jake simply nods, “Yes but she’s already informed me she likes this one far better.”

You raise an eyebrow, “And how exactly would you know what she wants?? She can’t speak sooo are you using some secret code??”

He walks over and places a large hand over your stomach. As though sensing him the baby kicks in agreement. “See told you that she prefers this colour.”

Next came the bunny obsession phase. The two of you had been out trying to find her first stuffed animal when Jake’s eyes fell into a giant pink bunny with floral patterns on its ears.

“Oh my god it’s perfect,” he gasps pointing at it in awe. “I can already picture it in my head right now.”

You chuckle, “Jakey you do realise she’s going to be tiny. That thing would swallow her whole. That cannot be her first stuffed animal.”

Jake sighs, “How about room decoration then?! It can sit by the rocking chair in the corner…and we can utilise it once she’s older.”

“Fine,” you eventually agree after realising that Jake’s opinion will not be easily swayed.

He pulls down the teddy which is practically the same size as him let alone your child. That’s when you see it, a miniature version. One that looks like it was made purposefully for babies.

“Oh we are so getting both of them…”

After that was purchased, almost everything in the nursery became bunny themed. Bunny sleep suits?? Got them. Her first blanket?? Plastered with bunnies.

Then came the struggle of trying to pick out a name. Due to the vast amount of options it seemed virtually impossible to find one the both of you would settle for.

“What about Layla??” Jake suggests one day whilst the two of you are lazing on the couch together.

“Layla as in the name of your dog?? As in the one that is curled up right next to you??”

Jake pauses for a moment considering how that might not be an ideal option. “…Right. That isn’t very convenient. Layla might get confused if she keeps hearing her name.”

“What about Sophia??” You suggest randomly, it wasn’t too uncommon that people wouldn’t know how to pronounce it but to you it always sounded satisfying.

“Sophia Sim,” Jake murmurs. “I’m sold. It sounds perfect.”

He leans down, pressing a kiss onto your belly, “I can’t wait to meet you Sophia.”

“…Neither can I.”

Not like you came out the womb joined at the hip or anything like that. Just having two mothers who were best friends sort of naturally meant the two of you grew up close with each other.

At times you wondered if they purposely orchestrated it…you know the whole getting pregnant within months of each other to have kids around similar ages thing. Maybe they wanted you two to grow up and develop a bond like what they had.

Meanwhile, you and Heeseung weren’t exactly best friends. Sure you were close alright…that was sort of bound to happen but it wasn’t exactly the same level of friendship that your mothers had.

You had been a lot closer in your earlier years. But then came along your teenage years, you grew out of it. During the start of high school Heeseung got onto the basketball team, which made him increasingly popular and also ten times more attractive apparently.

There wasn’t any science behind it, nothing to prove why he seemed to have the glow up of a lifetime. Yet seeing him playing, wearing that jersey, sweating yet still somehow looking good you couldn’t help but to understand why some girls threw themselves at him with open arms.

Now the two of you were both in senior year. You still hung out together, it was just more private now. Given the fact that Heeseung was a hot topic across all years with everyone wanting a piece of him you came to the conclusion it would be best to not make yourself the target of dating allegations or rumours.

On the occasion where you did hang out it was just like when you were kids. You’d tease each other for hours on end, you’d laugh so hard it physically hurt.

Just like the good old times.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶

One day…

You were just finishing up some work for the student council when your phone buzzes with a message.

Heeseung: ‘Just finished at practice.’

‘I’ll wait outside so we can walk back together :).’

Although it didn’t happen frequently that the two of you had overlapping schedules due to Heeseung’s rigorous training schedule, there was a rare chance when you’d both be available to leave school at the same time. And today just happened to be one of those days.

You: ‘Okayyy. Should be out in around 5 mins, just putting the final touches on something for the student council.’

You turn back to the computer screen with every intention of finishing the project right then and there. But then a thought hits you, the project can wait, you have all the time in the world for that however recently your time with Heeseung has been limited. Better to seize a rare opportunity. Quickly, you pack up all your stuff and rush out to meet him. Most of the school crowds have cleared out by now due to it being multiple hours after the end of day, allowing you to make a swift exit.

Heeseung is standing by the gates of the school, still in his practice kit, his eyebrow raised when he spots you out so soon. “That was quick…more like two minutes than five.”

“Are you really questioning my efficiency??”

He shakes his head, “Nope. But I’m guessing you did not in fact finish that thing for student council after all??”

“You know me annoyingly well.”

Heeseung lets out a chuckle, the sound warm and low against his chest. “That’s kinda what happens when you spend 18 years of your life with someone. Want me to carry that bag for you??”

Your backpack is slung loosely over one shoulder, looking like it could fall off at any moment, yet you still politely decline. “It’s fine…besides you have your practice bag and your school bag. That’s gotta be heavy enough as it is.”

He simply shrugs casually, “Yeah well coach said we could all do with some strength training so another bag wouldn’t hurt. But I don’t even know what he’s talking about, like has he seen these??” He flexes his arms playfully as though trying to show something through his jacket.

“What exactly am I supposed to be looking at?? There’s zero muscles in my line of sight,” you tease.

“Hey I could walk off right now and leave you to venture home on your own!!”

You place a hand on your chest in mock fear, “Oh no what ever would I do having to walk home on my own!! Please don’t leave me to walk home by myself like I do every other day!!”

“Yeah. Hahahaha. Very funny, jokes over, stop making fun of me now.”

You nudge him lightly, “Never!! Where else would I get my amusement from!! Besidessss I love our walks home together so please do not leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

The two of you continue to walk, occasionally chatting about random things. When you’d been friends for 18 years there was only so many times you could repeat a story before it became overused.

Despite the fact that it had been warm when you left your house earlier this morning, there's now a slight cool breeze which causes you to shiver involuntarily.

Heeseung notices, of course he does. He’s always been the observant type. “You want my jacket??”

You shake your head, “It’s probably sweaty…I’d prefer to not smell like your sweat. No offence though…”

“You do realise that we take showers after practice right?? Besides, I don’t even smell bad in the first place!! Name one time where I actually have.”

A beat.

Then, “That one time when you decided it would be a good idea to roll around in a rather dirty field and ended up covered in dog poop. I was only five but I do not recall that being a pleasant smell at all.”

He pretends to swat your arm, “Hey that doesn’t count I was a child!!”

“You were a dumb child at that.”

“You,” he points an accusing finger towards you. “You were the one who influenced me, who told me that it would be fun.”

You shrug, “Well you were a dumb child for believing me.”

“Can my child self stop catching strays out here!!”

You shake your head, “You’re lucky you were a cute kid otherwise this would be wayyy worse.”

Heeseung looks down at you, “Huh?? So you finally admit after all this time that I’m cute.” He pauses for a second before starting again, “You remember that one time you cried to your mom that I was ‘being mean’ because I wanted you to call me cute.”

“That was at your birthday party with tons of boys and your friends were scary!! In fact they still are!!”

You guys arrive home shortly after, Heeseung decides to drop you by the door first before making the approximate ten second walk to his house down the road.

“I’ll see you around then yeah??”

You nod before disappearing into your house with a final, small wave.

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶

A few days after, you find yourself in Heeseung’s room. You’d come round with the idea that you were going to help him study for an upcoming math test. However there wasn’t exactly much studying.

Instead you were lying on his bed, your head resting in his lap whilst he played a video game that you just couldn’t wrap your head around. “I really don’t understand the concept of this game Hee.”

“You understand the most complex math equations but you don’t understand this game??”

You shake your head, “I understand the game but I don’t understand all these things you keep using…it makes like zero sense.”

He runs his fingers through your hair, “Well good thing is that you don’t need to know what’s going on so you know…just chill.”

Although you had originally gone over with the intent of helping Heeseung you were content with this. Simply just lying here, being in Heeseung’s presence, that’s better than any study session.

He plays for another few games however eventually after multiple failed attempts Heeseung ends up rage quitting with a rather dramatic sigh.

“Dramatic much??” You joke.

“Says you!! You’ve always been the more dramatic one out of us two, always have, always will.”

“Who me?!” You bat your eyelashes, feigning innocence, “I would neverrr be dramatic!!”

“…Yeah yeah. Oh well I need to tell you something actually.”

You give him a curious glance, normally he wouldn't introduce a new topic like this unless you weren’t going to be too fond of it. “What is it??”

Heeseung continues running his fingers through your hair as though he knows you’ll have a displeased reaction. “Well before you jump straight to saying no…let me explain it first mkay??”

You nod slowly.

“I’m hosting a party this weekend because you know my parents are away.” Just as you’re about to cut in to say absolutely not, Heeseung shushes you. Not in a dismissive way just a way that’s asking you to hear him out on this.

“…And I was wondering if you wanted to come. I know that you normally don’t enjoy them but it’ll be at my house, so you know your way around and you can always flee into here if you wanna be left alone. Also you could literally just jump the fence and escape to your house.”

“Heeseung as much as I like you-“

“Rude. I thought you loved me!!”

“Sure. But the people who’ll be there probably won’t be my crowd and I wouldn’t want to ruin your night by being down or anything…” you trail off trying to think of more excuses.

Heeseung shakes his head, “You being there would make my night. Not ruin it. Please just consider it…”

You pause for a moment seriously considering it before nodding. “Alright…I’ll come. But I wanna be here before anyone else is and I wanna be able to leave at any given moment if I decide that I don’t like it.”

“Of course, everyone else will probably get here sometime between 8 or 9. You can get here whenever. Plus if anyone bothers you then you tell me and you can leave whenever. I’ll even walk you back up the road.”

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶

The day of the party arrives much quicker than you’d hoped. You aren’t quite sure what is deemed as acceptable at parties so you settle for a reasonably ‘nice’ top and a denim skirt.

You end up going to Heeseung’s around 5 so then at least if you are unable to withstand the party that you’ve already spent some time with him.

“Heeseung??” You turn to look at him, still lounging across his bed in his pyjamas.

He lets out a hum of acknowledgment. “How like full out do these girls normally go at parties?? Do I need to wear lots of makeup or is subtle good enough??”

“If you want me to be honest they just plaster it all over their faces…but you don’t need all that sooo just do whatever makes you confident.”

“You sure??”

Heeseung nods, “If I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have said it.”

A couple hours later, the time of the party nears and you are curled up in Heeseung’s bed regretting your previous decisions of agreeing to come here. “Ughhh I seriously don’t know why I agreed to this…parties are just a combination of all the things I hate the most.”

“Butttt you don’t hate me though so it cancels out,” Heeseung says, his hand tracing random patterns against your arm.

“How can you be so sure that I don’t hate you??”

“Rude!!”

A knock on the door breaks your ‘argument’ up. “Is that the first person?? Maybe I should just go home now and then nobody would ever know I was here??” Your tone is frantic.

Heeseung shakes his head, “It’ll just be Jay or Jake. You’ve met them both before, they’re pretty chill.”

“Fine…” you murmur, sinking back down into his bed whilst he goes to get the door.

A few moments later Heeseung with Jake in tow behind him. Jake turns his attention to you, “Hey, I didn’t realise that you would be coming today. Thought parties weren’t your thing??”

You simply shrug shyly and allow Heeseung to explain for you. “She kinda only came on the accords that she could flee up here whenever or just go home without any questions…”

“That’s fair,” Jake says, tilting his head slightly to the side. “You want anything to drink-“

“Why are you asking like it’s your own house??”

“Dude it basically is I’m here all the time!!”

The two of them continue to bicker for a little while before finally giving up and letting you talk. “I don’t really drink that much…”

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶

Around an hour later the party is in full swing. It’s filled with people from your year, mainly the ones whom you choose not to associate yourself with. People are dancing, getting incredibly drunk and music blasts louder than any other sound.

You find yourself awkwardly sat in the corner of the living room, it’s partially quieter with most people only going over there if they want to converse but it’s still close enough so that you can see Heeseung. He’s in the centre of it all, lapping up all the attention he’s receiving for being the host.

Your eyes meet for barely a second but Heeseung knows you too well. He can tell just by the look in your eyes that you feel out of place.

He excuses himself and makes his way towards you. “Hey,” his voice is soft, he can tell you aren’t enjoying yourself.

You look up at him, “Hi…”

“You wanna go home?? We could slip out right now, I’d walk you down the road and be back before anyone noticed I’d left??”

You shake your head, “Don’t worry about me…you just go back to enjoying the party.”

Seeing that you’re unwilling to leave purely out of the fear that it might hurt his feelings, Heeseung decides to change his approach. Something that might make you a little less miserable but also doesn’t involve going home.

“Okay well if you’re sure. At least come and sit with me on the couch so that you have someone to talk to??” He extends his hand out to you which you accept, allowing him to pull you off the floor.

His hands are warm and steady, providing the familiarity you need in this situation where everything else seems so unknown. Heeseung leads you over to the couch where most people seem to be crowded around. Almost instantly they make space letting the two of you sit down next to each other.

Heeseung keeps one hand tightly holding yours while the other moves to rest on your leg, a reminder that he’s there. “This is better hmmm??”

You nod slowly, sure the music was significantly noisier over here but being with someone made it better. “Better…you might wanna turn down the music though. I wouldn’t want my mom to be putting in a noise complaint…”

“Got it. I’ll get someone to turn it down.”

“Heeseung, I was being sarcastic I don’t think she’d actually put in a noise complaint especially about you!!”

Yet even after that the music still quietens down. It’s still there but it’s more of a background noise rather than being so prominent.

A few minutes pass like this and you start to think that maybe you had parties all wrong. Maybe they could be nice if you were with the right person. That’s when a girl whom you aren’t entirely sure of approached you and Heeseung.

You roughly recognise her from your health class, she’s the one who insists on being the loudest in the room even if that means constantly interrupting or talking over people. You’d never even spoken to her directly but you could already tell that she was going to get on your nerves.

“Hi Heeseungggg,” she draws out her words as though to seem like she’s slurring them from being drunk. She’s had a maximum of two drinks the entire night. “Who’s thisss??” She points a finger at you.

“This is Y/N…she’s a close friend of mine.”

“Ohhhh but I’ve never seen her around you beforeee?? I haven’t seen her at any partiesss.”

“I don’t usually like parties,” your voice is barely above a whisper.

She smirks as though she’s trying to build a profile on you, trying to find something that would give her a bit of amusement. “Ohhhh…so you're shyyy??”

The girl seemingly grows bored of you and turns her attention back to Heeseung. She talks at him for a little while about random things she hopes he’ll be interested in but he doesn’t seem too bothered. He just lets out the occasional hum or nod to make it seem like he’s still listening (he’s not.)

Suddenly, she turns back to you, her voice loud enough so the people around can hear. “Y/N how many people have you kissed?!”

You can feel people’s eyes turn towards you expectantly. Oh god this was going to be humiliating. All these people here probably are in the double digits and you have kissed a very humbling zero. Yep. Zero. A pitiful zero people. At the age of 18 you’d barely been in a relationship let alone kissed someone.

“None…” you murmur but your voice is barely audible.

“Whatttt?!! I can’t hear youuu!!”

“I said none!!”

The girl giggles, “Wowww really?? I thought by now everyone would’ve had their first kiss!!” The malice behind her tone couldn’t be more obvious.

Your cheeks heat up with embarrassment, you seriously just got called out in front of all of Heeseung’s ‘popular’ friends for never having kissed anyone. Parties were definitely not your cup of tea.

As she continues to humour herself and attempt to get others on board about the fact you’ve never had a kiss, Heeseung’s hand tightens around yours. A way of supporting and trying to comfort you.

It takes one more ‘seriously how have you never kissed anyone’ from the girl before Heeseung snaps causing him to do something unexpected.

He tilts your head up towards him and leans down, pressing a passionate kiss on your lips. Once he pulls away he turns to look at the girl who’s standing there, her mouth agape in shock, “There she’s kissed someone now. Are you satisfied??”

She nods sheepishly and wanders off, clearly she’s feeling suitably humiliated and ashamed of her actions.

Heeseung’s chest rises and falls heavily in pure rage yet his expression softens as he looks down at your bewildered face. “You okay??”

Realistically, no. One of your closest if not your best friend just kissed you so someone would stop harassing you. But that doesn’t seem appropriate to say so instead you just nod.

In the heat of the moment it seemed as though Heeseung acted purely out of spite. That he only considered kissing you to shut that girl up. But then he turns to you, his voice quiet. “If you wanna know what a proper first kiss should be like then we can go to my room…”

ﾒ𝟶ﾒ𝟶

That’s how you ended up where you were now. Sitting on the edge of Heeseung’s bed. “You know you didn’t have to kiss me just to prove that girl wrong??”

“I didn’t kiss you because I felt like I had to prove something Y/N. I kissed you because I wanted to. And I have wanted to for a long time now.”

“And also partially because that girl was really annoying??”

“Maybe…”

“…So were you for real about this first kiss??”

He nods slowly, “Only if you say yes…”

“I-I want to. I think I’d prefer my first to be with someone who I’m actually comfortable around rather than a random guy.”

He nods again and leads forward pressing his lips against yours. It starts gentle at first but then his hand moves to cradle the back of your head closing any of the little distance that there had been between the two of you.

His lips are almost reverent against yours, he’d really been longing, yearning for this for ages and that entire time you both believed you couldn’t be anything more than childhood friends.

When Heeseung finally pulls away it’s on so the both of you can catch your breath. “So how was that hmmm??”

You take a long breath before speaking, “Good…I’m guessing you do that a lot??”

“Would you believe me if I said I hadn’t??”

You give him a confused look, you kind of presumed given all the girls who chase him around at school that he would’ve kissed quite a few people.

Heeseung chuckles at your confusion, “My first kiss was in junior year with some girl in the year above. Then the only other one was because of a game of spin the bottle at a halloween party…ever since then I’ve been waiting for a certain someone.”

“You waited all that time for me?? Even with all those other girls pining over you??”

“Yep I waited one hell of a time, but now I hope I can finally have you…”

“You’ve always had me.”