headcanons: magnus & money
that i once brainstormed with @silver-lily-louise but i think you all might like as well
1. magnus does not understand money. at all. yes he has LOTS of money because he is very talented and his magic is worth top dollar and he works a lot and has had centuries for it to just accumulate. but he does not understand it and he does NOT budget ever
2. magnus has no set prices for anything he does. when people come to him for help he refuses to charge them. or he's like "it's one dollar" or "oh you're a baker? could you bake me some cookies in return for this potion?" that sort of thing. HOWEVER he will price gouge assholes out of house and home. the clave regularly has to pay him millions. or diamonds. or rare magical ingredients. etc.
3. magnus has no idea how much anything costs. he's like that oblivious rich person stereotype but no one cares because he's super generous and just wildly overpays for everything. we've already seen in canon that he wayyy over tips for stuff. it's both because he's generous AND because he doesn't know how much to tip. "it's one martini, maia? how much could it cost, five hundred dollars?"
like this started because he didn't know how much anything costs but then maia was like "the whole martini is eleven dollars." and magnus looked at his five hundred dollar tip and was like oh. clearly i'm under tipping, i apologize. here have a thousand dollars then! and maia decided not to protest this
4. he's constantly alarming mundanes with this too. he's at the grocery store buying one can of soup and he just hands over like 300 dollars, salutes the startled cashier and leaves.
5. magnus does buy super expensive stuff because he likes luxury but he's not frivolous about it, he takes care of his stuff. sure he throws it around the apartment but he also generally cares about not wasting stuff. (though the way his jackets keep getting ruined by demon ichor is not helping)
6. alec is EXTREMELY STRESSED about magnus's lack of budgeting even though he knows magnus has enough money to cover it. alec's budget for the institute is meticulous and every line is accounted for and that's just how he operates. magnus's approach makes him a little bit insane. "so how much did we spend this month?" "uhh... somewhere between one thousand dollars and one million dollars." "SOMEWHERE BETWEEN?????"
7. also whenever they go shopping together alec's the one with a numbered list of exactly what they need while magnus follows behind him just throwing random shit in the cart. "we DEFINITELY need these pool noodles don't we?? 🤩" "we don't have a pool and also WE'RE HERE TO GET A DISHWASHER??? WHERE DID YOU EVEN FIND THOSE???"
8. this is a common headcanon but magnus definitely owns his entire apartment building. everyone else who lives there loves it because stuff just gets automatically fixed and magnus forgets to collect rent like 97% of the time. and when he does he just collects it in favors. "can you watch my cats next weekend?" "can i borrow some sugar?" etc. he's only evicted ONE person ever and it was because they literally summoned a greater demon in their apartment and it nearly burnt down the whole building. and magnus was like "come on bro, it literally says in the lease agreement that the ONE thing you can't do is summon demons 😔" and even then he felt bad about it.
9. (it's entirely likely that a lot of the people who live here are people magnus helped at one point who were like 'we don't have anywhere to go.' and magnus was like 'well aren't you in luck i just so happen to own an apartment building!! 😃' and they're like 'how much is the rent' and he's like 'can you get me milk at the store every once in a while i keep forgetting to get it.' and they're like '....done.')
10. sometimes magnus comes home and announces he's bought an island or something and isn't that exciting alexander???? and alec has to go lay down for a while.
11. magnus is constantly getting outraged by how much necessary stuff costs for mundanes (once people explain that it is a lot lol). he's like "there's HOW MUCH medical debt??? well i'm just gonna buy the hospital and forgive it then HAHA." he's the most chaotic good rich person who's ever lived.
12. magnus's wild generosity is one of the many reasons (in addition to his charming personality of course) that he has just like a squadron of people ready to drop everything and help him at any given time. but 95% of the time the things magnus asks for help with are just stupid. his gang will be like "oh my god magnus i heard you were attacked by a demon do you need help???" and he's like "no the demon is handled but can you sew this button on my jacket?? i can't seem to get it right 😔"
13. he does sometimes wildly UNDERESTIMATE how much stuff is too. he's like "it's stupid for a car to be ten thousand dollars 🙄" "you're wearing a jacket that costs more than that."
14. "I don't know why you're upset about this alexander. i was born before the concept of money was invented 😩" "no you WERE NOT"
15. magnus got chairman meow out of a dumpster but chairman meow's collar is studded with real emeralds.
16. eventually magnus catches on and just starts lying to alec about how much stuff costs so he can spoil him in peace. because he doesn't care about impressing alec with riches (he might have when they first met but he doesn't anymore, plus riches probably don't impress alec anyway he's like oh sure you own a castle okay whatever. but look how kind you were to that orphan child 🤩) but he does want alec to have nice things and he knows alec will never buy them. so he starts being like "oh don't worry about this suit darling i got it at walmart." and alec's like "oh thank god. well thank you for the gift." and then later izzy's like wow that's armani!! and alec just passes away
17. eventually alec catches on and just stops asking how much stuff costs. his poor heart can't handle it. his life is much more peaceful after that day.
please feel free to add more 😂
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