Magpie

First, I want to apologize to everyone who reached out via inbox inquiring. I didn’t respond because I’ve struggled how to translate my thoughts and feelings to written word. I see & hear the love you all have given me & appreciate it endlessly.

The past few years have been rough. I have struggled with trauma that I thought was “handled”, but was really festering beneath the surface, poisoning every aspect of my life.

And writing was one of those.

I’d grown deeply unhappy with my own work - especially those in the public view, here on my blog. And when I mean deeply unhappy, I mean it - I don’t know how else to put it into words. It felt so much more extreme in my mind, panic inducing. I felt the only way to release this pressure was to delete my fics.

So I did. And honestly, I’m so incredibly glad I made that choice.

It helped me keep my head and trudge on for a while longer, letting me keep a grasp on continuing the work I value more than anything: crafting my own worlds and stories.

Right now, I’m on a sabbatical from my pen - going on six months - and have been applying myself towards trauma therapy instead.

I’m doing better. I’m feeling a glimmer of hope. My relationship with my writing is improving - I’m rediscovering the joy and passion I once had.

That’s really why I’m writing this now. I feel like I have found the words - the ability - to explain. And I’ve found peace in recognizing my struggles & how I’ve tried to cope.

Also, I want to thank you all again. I feel I didn’t do that nearly enough when I was active. I met so many wonderful people through this blog - some of whom I’m still lucky enough to call friends. I discovered my passion for writing, which set me on the course I’m on.