Can of PTJ Worms

Fem!Reader x Young!Hansu Seong • One-shot

Warnings: Disabled reader, mentions of violence, violence, age gap, cursing, the urge to punch a 5-year-old, sfw

Word count: 10k+

I parked the car about a block away from the tournament and waited. Without a ticket I couldn’t get in anyway, so I stayed inside my rental and played some local music.

Tournaments were fun to watch, and I have nothing against them. It’s just a little bitter for me, that’s all. I can’t help but be a little judgmental of some twelve-year-olds in martial arts uniforms rushing into the building… no doubt late. Some of those boys wouldn’t have time for a warm up; I snickered to think how their coaches would react. The music droned on for an hour or so. I read through a book I’d brought along with me from Japan. I suck at reading Hiragana symbols… but I tried my best to decipher the text.

It was about three fifty in the afternoon when I finally began unloading my things. I grabbed my crutch too. It made walking a little easier.

The walk to outside of the small stadium wasn’t far for the average person. I shut my car door and manually locked it with the key. My crutch leaned against the car and my bag was already slung over my shoulder. I limped aimlessly at first. Mindlessly window shopping and such. I cooed at a nearby cat, which unfortunately already had a collar. Even if my attire wasn’t out of the ordinary, I still felt out of place. A little naked, even. I subconsciously fretted over my appearance, even grabbing at an invisible belt at my waist. Force of habit. I waited outside the building for a bit. Eventually some contestants and parents began trickling out of the building. I suspected the tournament would be over soon. Some coaches and kids had probably stuck around to watch the pool of teenagers. There I was complaining about the wait and how chilly it was outside, when I’m sure the inside wasn’t very pleasant either. A warm, stuffy, sweaty stadium. No thanks. I had a scarf in my purse that I wrapped around my neck. A stranger offered to help me, but I assured her I was fine. I leaned the crutch against the building and all was fine. My hands were getting cold. Why were they taking so damn long?

Okay… I could be patient. Yeah. Really patient. It’s not like I had waited an hour or two… or anything. Patience. That was key. I sighed heavily.

The doors finally opened, and everyone left began pouring out of the building. I noticed a couple of kids walking out with metals and trophies. A smile traced my lips watching them ogle at the prizes. Hard work pays off. Kids are pretty cute.

My eyes snapped up. There he was…! A couple of his students and their moms trailed nearby. I smirked to myself and tucked the crutch under my arm.

I don’t give a damn about my social anxiety. after a while I learned no one cared.

“Seong-nim!”

He turned around, eyes reflecting his confusion. I beamed at him from afar. Watching Hansu’s face alight with recognition was fun. A tiny smile curved onto his lips. Although I moved to walk over, he excused himself from the others and approached me. I noticed his hair was shorter than it had been. He looked a little more mature, too. That was probably a good thing, although in his defense he had really calmed down those last few years.

“You should’ve told me you were coming—”

I use the crutch-pad to jab him in the shoulder lightly. It stops him from approaching any more. The gesture is playful. “That would’ve been no fun. How’d it go?” I smile, replacing the cutch under my arm. I tilted my head to get a better look at the group of kids I assumed were some students.

“It went well.”

“Be honest.”

“Some could’ve done better,” he admitted. I was waiting for his inner coach to shine through. At some point an instructor has to tell the truth. I knew deep down all Hansu wanted to do was be brutally honest.

I shrugged, beginning to walk forward towards the group of kids. “Yeah, ‘course.”

I was aware there were questions he wanted to ask. In my head I had planned to ask him out to dinner, but I didn’t want to pull him away from his students. I was pretty sure his kid had a bedtime too.

Hansu followed close behind before walking to my side. I was introduced to the four students he had brought to participate in the tournament. Only two parents were there. I leaned over to Hansu. “Where’s yours?” “Mine?” “Tae…? Taeyun? Sorry… what did you name hi-”

“Oh, Taehoon,” he adjusted his glasses. There was a pause. “Taehoon… is with a babysitter.”

“Oh.” I didn’t say anything else about it. I waited with him until all the kids had been picked up. My leg started to hurt at some point, so I sat down on a bench nearby.

“I’m okay, Seong-nim,” I assured him. He had a pained expression on his face, but I couldn’t decipher whether it was concern or just pity. I hoped not the latter.

He sat on the bench beside me. The kids were all gone, and not much of the crowd was left. I pressed my arm against his. Physical affection between the two of us wasn’t really practiced. I was happy to see him though, and I knew he could tell. He leaned into me. “How’s your leg…?” He asked, adjusting his glasses and glancing over seriously.

“I’m dealing with it,” I answered. “I’d rather talk to you about it some other time… maybe over dinner.”

I cringed at the thought that that sounded… bad. I looked over at him, leaning my head back.

“Of course I understand… you’re probably busy with Tae…?”

“Taehoon.” “Yeah. Taehoon.”

A silence flooded between the two of us. I continued to stare at him, feeling awkward and hoping I hadn’t brought up a sensitive subject.

“My son is sort of… special.” “Oh, I’m sorry Seong-nim. Down syndrome? You know-”

Hansu laughs, shaking his head. “No, not like that. My son is… like me.”

“A hoo-” I stopped mid-sentence. A smile played at my lips. “Come on Hansu. He can’t be that bad.”

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

I waited in my car that was parked behind his. Stationed outside the babysitter’s house, I warmed my hands by blowing on them. I had no idea how to operate the AC system in this rental car, so I decided to stick through the evening chill. I planned to tell Hansu the news that I was moving back to Seoul. I was sure he’d like that. Having someone, especially someone so close to me, nearby would help a lot. The years spent abroad had been rough. Money was pretty tight, too.

I hadn’t been back in Korea for a while. At least not in any big cities. I had been around a few different countries. Taking a break from… stuff. Moving around as a tourist was difficult with a crutch though.

Hansu seemed to be taking a long time. I narrowed my eyes as I stared at the front door. Faint voices drifted into my car, but they were inaudible for me to discern. after a few beats of silence Hansu came outside, followed in toe by who I assumed was Taehoon. I smiled in awe at the sight of him. Tiny tee shirt, cute sandals, dark floppy hair. Awkwardly I watched as the kid turned to his dad and started… yelling? Damn. That was harsh.

I turned on my car engine and honked a little. It made Taehoon jump and drew Hansu’s attention away from him. They clambered into their car and led the way back to their house.

Turns out my old Taekwondo master was still a crazy fanatic about his studio. He must’ve loved it so much that he couldn’t bare to move away from it. I shook my head and smiled as we pulled up to their building. My fingers clumsily grabbed my tote bag and crutch. It was always a hassle getting out of a compact car. Before I could even open the door for myself, it swung open. Taehoon (apparently this was Hansu’s offspring-?) stood on the other side of the door with a scowl on his little pudgy face. He let out a sulky groan. “Hurry up and get out-!” I blinked. Stated a little. “Sorry… right,” I replied dazedly.

I heard Hansu tell off his child for being so brash. He looked at me apologetically.

I slid out of my car seat and placed the crutch under my arm. I recognized the distasteful pity on Taehoon’s face. He seemed to shut up around me after that. As they led me into their home, I picked up on Taehoon’s grumbling about wanting to attend the tournament. He asked questions about who I was, too. For a kid that couldn’t be older than six, he sure had a mouth on him.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

Hansu felt warm frustration bumbling under his docile facade. Taehoon had given hell to Ms Yoon, apparently. He had to apologize for this brat’s behavior once again. It didn’t help at all.

On top of that, Taehoon seemed incapable of learning manners. Watching him talk to (Y/N) like that sent another kind of warmth through Hansu’s body. That kid was hopeless. Who raised that brat anyway?

He was glad Taehoon was being quiet while he prepped their dinner. He panicked at first, thinking there wouldn’t be enough for the surprise guest. Turns out there was plenty.

“Here you are,” he smiled, placing the bowls down on the table. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say he was in a better mood than usual today.

“Thank you,” (Y/N) returned the smile. A beat of silence passed before she looked over at Taehoon sharply.

“What do you say…?” Hansu stared wordlessly.

Taehoon looked up at her warily. “What do you mean?” “Ah, Seong-nim. You weren’t kidding, he is a brat like you,” she said. Hansu had no idea how she could insult someone with such earnest sincerity. It almost seemed polite. A smirk flickered across his features. The fatigue wore off for a second.

Taehoon didn’t seem to like the comment. He furrowed his brows angrily and glared at the woman who sat beside him. “Say thank you, Taehoon.” It took a few seconds and a glare before he complied.

“Thanks old man.”

“You’re welcome”.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

Taehoon was playing with his figurines on the floor while the adults drank tea. The room felt warm and comfortable. Homey. Hansu took a sip from his herbal brew, eyeing (Y/N) silently.

“So… how were your travels?”

She looked up from her daze. “Oh, fine thank you.”

Her politeness was expected. (Y/N) had always been polite, despite Hansu, as her senior, not being the best example. She glanced over at Taehoon on the floor, who was currently making his action figures collide. He made a few quiet grunting noises.

(Y/N) finally set down her cup and sucked in a deep breath. “Well, anyway. I’m sorry for keeping you in the dark Seong-nim. I just got back in Korea last Tuesday, and I’ve been busy moving into my new apartment.”

“Oh. Do you need any help unpacking?”

“I think I can manage for now, thank you,” she grinned. “The apartment is nearby… actually. I was wondering if… if you’re okay with it ‘course, if I could hang around the studio for a bit.”

“Is that okay?” Hansu asked, a furrow forming in his brow. His demeanor was all over the place. At first he was worried about her unpacking, then he was excited that she was nearby, and now…

“I’m getting over it. It’s fine.” “You’re sure?”

“I love being around your studio-!” She reached out to smack his arm lightly. Hansu felt a small tinge of bitterness, but he masked it with a smile. A warmth grew in the pit of his stomach; most likely it’s relief that she’s coped so well. She seems to regained complete trust in him. There’s no hard feelings.

Taehoon accidentally broke the leg off one of his figurines and asked for permission to hot glue it together. The adult conversation ended there.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

“Seong-nim… are you sure his stance is correct?” I asked. Basking in the sunlight while resting in a chair, I watched dubiously as my former mentor conducted a Taekwondo lesson. The kids kept their gazes forward, but I could tell they were confused by the interruption . I didn’t mean any offense.

Hansu hardens his jaw and turns to me.

“Why do you ask?” “Check his feet.”

Hansu gently guided the boy’s legs into a better stance. Honestly the kid wasn’t wrong… he just wasn’t entirely right. Hansu looked up at me and smiled slightly. He still has a bit of an ego issue.

I nodded bashfully and grabbed my crutch, slinking off before I tested his nerves any more. The studio felt familiar. I appreciated the cushioning underneath my feet. Of course athlete’s foot was never a thrill but you had to pardon me for feeling some bittersweet nostalgia.

I could faintly hear Hansu giving instructions from the other side of the wall. The warm rumble of his words made my heart sink actually. Old words I had heard dozens of times. The basics of taekwondo. My eyes started stinging a bit. I tried to suck it up as my eyes glazed over some old photos in the entryway.

A hot tear began trickling down my cheek just as I heard a shout from upstairs. Immediately I turned to the staircase a few yards away, tilting my head. I thought no one was allowed up there… unless that was Taehoon. But he knew better than to cause trouble during-

“Taehoon what the h— what’s wrong?” I yelped on my way up the stairs, grabbing onto his arm with my free hand as he tried to run past. He glares at me, cheeks flared and eyes narrowed angrily. I just stare back.

“Let go of me. I gotta talk to dad.” “Is something wrong…?”

Taehoon yanks his arm out of my grip. “What do you care?” Even though his words carry some attitude with them, it’s hard to understand what he’s saying. He slurs his words together a bit. “Well your dad is busy… can I help you?”

Taehoon shakes his head defiantly. I sigh. This kid is a brat… actually. I thought Hansu had been exaggerating. I try to be patient though, trying to give the kid the benefit of the doubt. But…. Letting him interrupt his dad’s class was something I would NOT let happen. I clambered down the stairs to follow him. The two of us peered from the doorway into the studio, watching as Hansu conducted the class. The kids swung their legs to mimic their master. We watched silently for a few seconds.

Taehoon once again starts forward and I grab his torso, letting my crutch clatter to the floor. It doesn’t make loud enough noise to draw anyone’s attention, except for Taehoon. “Listen… kid-” I strain my whisper, pulling him back behind the wall. “If you don’t tell me what’s the matter I can’t help you. Trust me when I say you don’t wanna barge in there right now. Your dad will kill us.”

“Why the hell would he kill you?” Taehoon snaps, pushing his way out of my grip. Carrying him made my leg spasm painfully, so I oblige to release him. “Uh, because? He’s my senior. He used to be my teacher. He could do whatever-”

“-So you’re the bitch who ran off with another master?”

My heart sinks at this brat’s words, but I refrain from saying anything I would regret. For a second I feel hollow, and I don’t move at all. “Taehoon please don’t call me that, alright? Look. Tell me what’s the matter.”

“I’m bored.”

I feel my body swelling with heat. Angry heat, that is. Is he for real? I pinch my nose before reaching ahead for my crutch. Taehoon picks it up and pushes it into my hand.

“Are you… serious right now?” “You think I’m lying?” He counters. I really want to slap him. Spank him. Asian mom techniques. I’m not his mom though, and that would be totally inappropriate.

“You need to control that temper of yours,” is all I say. I grab his hand and stand upright. “Follow me. I’ll uh… we’ll go on a walk.”

It’s apparent that some sort of dark thought had crossed Taehoon’s mind. His eyes flickered down my body quickly. Sheepishly. He swallowed and nodded his head reluctantly.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

The two of us had slipped out and made our way to some of the local shops. I bought some Advil at the pharmacy for my leg. I wasn’t about to admit it in front of the kid, but picking him up had really made it hurt. Honestly I was at a loss around kids like him.

How exactly do you explain a malunion fracture to a five… six year old anyway? You don’t… right? I sighed and grabbed hold of his hand, dragging him across the street. He digs in his heels. It earns a couple stares from strangers, so he cooperates.

“Alright. You still bored?” I ask. He shrugs his shoulders and glares at the floor.

“(Y/N). Why do you need that stupid stick anyway?”

I pause for a while to think of an answer. In the end I couldn’t think of anything that would make the pill easier to swallow. (For me, not him.) The words would usually get stuck in my throat when people asked me about it. I adjusted my grip on his tiny hand.

“I hurt my leg,” I say simply.

Taehoon falls silent as we walk closer to a local park. My crutch echoes on the sidewalk. It fills in the awkward silence.

“My dad said one of his students hurt herself. Did you guys break up?”

“Usually people say break-up… like- couples. Girlfriends and boyfriends-”

“I knew that!” Taehoon huffs.

“It’s okay to not know everything and be wrong sometimes y’know-”

“Like you dumping my dad?”

For the next five paces I walk in silence. Absorbing his words. He is a brat… but that’s true. He’s right.

“Yeah. I was wrong when I did that.”

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

Taehoon crashes in his bed midday. The walk and a visit to the park had wiped him out. I had to get Hansu to carry him upstairs while I collected some of my belongings.

I left to my apartment a few minutes later. The day had been pretty exhausting. I also had a resume to keep filling out. I had said bye to Hansu.

I needed to get a job pretty fast, but I was honestly hopeful. There’s a surprising amount of sitting jobs in Korea. Well, in my area anyways.

I was able to walk without my crutch in the apartment. The assortment of boxes that were left was kinda saddening, actually. I pushed some of the empty boxes out of the walkway before moving into the kitchen. Dinner would probably be something simple. I had learned plenty of quick recipes while traveling. Plenty. I began washing off some vegetables when the land-line rang. I let it go to voicemail the first time. A few seconds later it rang again.

I mumbled a curse and dried off my hands. “Hello?”

I wasn’t expecting Master Seong himself to be on the other line. “(Y/N) it’s Hansu.”

I leaned against the counter and adjusted my grip on the phone. “Oh. Hi,” a moment of awkwardness panic. “Can I help you?”

His sigh crackles over the landline. “Yeah. I was wondering if I could ask you a favor…?”

“Mhm.”

“You said you haven’t found a job yet, right?”

I furrow my brows, having forgotten that I mentioned that to him. Oh wait. Yeah. “Yeah, that’s right.”

He paused, “…I was wondering if you’d be open to… helping me?”

I was about to object. As much as I wish I could, tutoring Taekwondo in my condition would-

“With Taehoon.”

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

“I dunno… 10,344 won per hour seems kinda cheap. Especially since it’s your kid.”

“(Y/N)…”

“I’m just saying. You can’t stop bragging about how big of a brat he is,” I dig through some items in my purse.

Hansu cracks a smile and chuckles, “I don’t brag. Why would I brag about that.”

I shrug.

I always preferred it when my coach wasn’t so uptight. In all honesty Hansu had never been super hard on me… until I started getting a mind of my own, that is. He was more just… cocky. Had a bit of an egotistical “prove them wrong” and “you should win this” kind of demeanor.

I finally retrieved what I had been looking for. I handed Hansu the box of chocolates I had bought him. “Sorry… I wasn’t able to get you any red wine or anything.”

I walked away after a few more minutes of conversation to head upstairs. Teahoon was supposed to be studying on his own. I doubted that was happening.

“What’d you get for me?” Taehoon asks as soon as I open the door.

He’s sitting at a low table, using some crayons to fill in a Wrestler coloring book. Tiny white socks are tucked underneath his small legs covered in sweatpants. I inwardly think his fashion sense is kinda cute for a five-year-old. I remind myself of his potty mouth.

“Oh, were you eavesdropping?” I retort, but already I’ve begun digging through my purse.

“No-!” He glares over at me. There’s a bit of panic to his stare.

“It’s rude to eavesdrop, Taehoon. Try not to, okay?” The words feel awkward to say. It sounds like something a mom would say, which I definitely am not.

He doesn’t make any gesture of understanding or refusal. Instead he just accepts the lollipop I manage to pull out of the dark chasms of my purse. I sit down on the floor with him just as he’s finished unwrapping the candy, and in an instant he’s handing me his discarded wrapper.

“Trash.”

“Yeah. Trash.”

Taehoon looks over at me, the lollipop jutting into his cheek, his brows furrowed in confusion. “S’ trash.”

“I know. You got legs, right? You can use them,” I reply. I gesture down to my own legs. Frankly I can move if I want to… but my brain flashes me with three letters. W. T. F.

Taehoon crawls to the trash can in the corner, crawls back, and resumes coloring. I grab one of his coloring pages and begin coloring.

“Why is your leg like that?” He asks.

More questions. I glance down at my leg on the floor. It’s bent. Awkward and unnatural, it’s those funky proportions that have given me trouble for years. It’s not super obvious, but I guess to Taehoon it is. I keep coloring.

“I injured it.”

“Will that happen if… if I injure my leg?”

“No Taehoon. Your dad wouldn’t let that happen.”

We plan out what we could do this week. Taehoon wants to go to the beach, but I tell him that’s not likely this week. Maybe some other time. I opt to take him to the library on Friday. It really depends on how well he behaves on all the other days. (Maybe I’ll be decent at this babysitting thing.)

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

Hansu looks over at the chocolates waiting for him in the corner of the room. If he was right- which he probably was- then she got those from Japan. Chocolates… red wine? Apology gifts?

One of his kids kicks him hard in the shin. “Master Seong! Was that a proper kick?” “You’re still chicken-kicking, Jin. I saw you.”

The boy frowns, slouches, and returns to the back of the line. Another kid approaches to land a kick on his shin. The lesson ends a couple minutes later.

Hansu runs a hand through his hair as he walks over. It feels damp. That’s nasty to ladies, but he’s kinda proud of himself. His kids made him work up a sweat. When he looks outside, he notices (Y/N)’s car is missing. He’s betting she took Taehoon out. A touch of nervousness makes his stomach feel empty. If his son doesn’t behave… well… he doesn’t want to get any further from (Y/N).

The chocolates are, in fact, from Japan. It’s weird for him to think of all the experiences she went through without him knowing. He missed out on a lot since her accident. She had traveled, he was aware. But how long? Where? With who? He opened up the package. A small note fell out. As expected. It was an apology, although he felt like it was unnecessary. He should probably be the one apologizing, even though he wasn’t very good at it. The note seemed old, like a letter she neglected to send.

Dear Seong-Nim,

I’m only a few months into my travels, and I’ve wanted to write to you a lot. Sorry I haven’t kept in touch. Japan is really pretty like you said. I haven’t been contacting a lot of people so don’t worry- I haven’t been ignoring you. I wanted to thank you for putting up with me and being my teacher. You’re very good at it. I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any stress.

Right before her signature there was a line that caught Hansu’s attention. His brown eyes scanned across the words several times. He wasn’t sure what the lump in his throat was from- relief or anger? Either or. It didn’t matter.

The last line read: By the way, I’ve cut her out of my life- we don’t speak anymore.

He folded the note and moved onto the chocolates. At least, he tried to. Half way through eating them he couldn’t swallow. He gripped the side of the table.

A few minutes later he was sighing to himself. Having a temper tantrum was actually embarrassing- luckily no one was around to witness it. He scooped broken clay off the ground, disappointed that he had broken a nice vase. The room was dark and quiet, save for the clinking chips of pottery that he swept up.

The front door opened and Hansu was still cleaning up his tiny mess.

“Oh, what happened?” (Y/N) asked immediately. She stood in the doorway, holding Taehoon’s hand, weighed down with a tote bag.

“Accident,” he replied, adjusting his glasses before standing. “How was it today?”

Taehoon slipped out of his shoes and walked towards the gym area. “It was fine. I did the monkey bars all by myself though.”

The kid said it with a bratty touch of pride that Hansu didn’t fully approve of. (Y/N) gave Hansu a look. For a second he wasn’t sure what she expected him to do.

“It’s his first time doing it by himself you know~” she whispered. Hansu stared. No… he didn’t know. He had no idea. He stared at her a little longer than necessary.

“That’s great, Taehoon.”

“I know!”

“Taehoon-”

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

She had gone home. Taehoon went to bed. Hansu stayed wide awake.

He turned on the TV and absently watched whatever was on. It didn’t matter what the show was. He needed white noise in the background to think. (Y/N) said Taehoon behaved today. He was glad to hear it. He wanted to smile actually. There was something about the two individuals he was proudest of clicking that made him happy. He realized though that he didn’t know her quite as well as he had. She seemed like a different person. A stranger who he had old history with. The new (Y/N) was independent. She was thinking for herself again. She was better at parenting than he was, believe it or not.

The TV relayed ads for the upcoming Olympics. Hansu would love to compete. Had been training pretty vigorously. But… he wasn’t going this year. He would probably never go. Maybe if things were different, he’d be participating this year as a trainer. A coach. But, he didn’t nip at the bud and now her leg would never be the same.

He found himself tossing and turning in the couch, running a hand down his face. He was so stupid.

His student was gone anyway. (Y/N), he affirmed, was different now. She had the same blunt, snarky, yet sometimes polite charm that she always had. She was still quiet sometimes… around him mainly. But she was thinking for herself. Speaking up for herself. Talking to him less formally. Teasing him more frequently. Maybe it was because she wouldn’t get in trouble now. Maybe it’s because she wanted to lessen the tension between them.

He honestly didn’t mind. Whatever tension was there he wanted gone. He had missed his student, and now that she was back, he realized he’d never get her back. He’d never get his best pupil back. Maybe just… an equal. He wasn’t superior anymore, at least on a maturity basis. She was just as adult as him now. He was just… still… wearing a Taekwondo uniform. And she was probably never going to wear one again.

That night every snap set him off. Every woman’s voice outside grated his ears. Even the damn clock set him on edge. He ended up taking some sleeping pills and crashing on the couch.

He was relived he no longer had lucid dreams. Otherwise he’s probably wake himself because he dreamt of Taehoon’s leg breaking.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

I took Taehoon out several times over the week. We ended up sitting a lot on one of the days early on, which he wasn’t too happy about. I sucked up telling him off, because it once again struck me as awkward, but he got in trouble with his dad about it.

I realized that I had been too hopeful about going to the library. Maybe in a month. Taehoon just didn’t seem interested. Instead we focused mainly on going to the playground so he could horse around on the monkey bars. (He had started just calling it a jungle gym so I agreed to call it that too.)

He had gotten really good at the monkey bars. I challenged him to tackle the tiny rock wall, but I guess he’s afraid of heights. It made me laugh a little. I took him to get icecream so I didn’t hurt his feelings.

We walked by a koi pond which he liked. I told him we could make it our routine. I also took it on myself to make sure he had the alphabet down. I told him if he learned the Korean alphabet, AND the Japanese alphabet, then I’d take him to a theme park. I didn’t have much faith in him, but his determination worried me.

Eventually I hit the two week milestone. My pay was coming in alright. I felt kinda bad since I knew Hansu so well… but his studio was thriving by my standards.

Taehoon grabbed my hand and tugged on me. “(Y/N), why don’t you use a wheelchair like old people,” he pointed to a handicapped sign. I frowned.

“Well uh… for one I’m not that old am I?” He crinkled his nose at me, but I could tell it amused him. He was pretty easily amused. “And anyway. I like my crutches better. My injury is fixable, I just-”

“Why don’t you fix it then?” He interjects.

“Don’t interrupt, please,” I force the politeness out. Sometimes I really wanna rip out a tuft of his hair. “Uh you know. Money. Things are expensive. Surgeries are expensive.”

“Dad said you just broke your leg though?”

“Yeah. It was a pretty nasty. It didn’t penetrate the skin, but the bone-” I realized he wasn’t understanding. “Uh yeah. It broke.”

“Why didn’t you fix it right away? With a cast?”

I stared ahead for a while to get her my thoughts and think of a reply. Some dirt got in my eye I think. I had to rub them till I covered up my tears.

“Uhm… not right now Taehoon.”

I can’t run away from my problems. I can’t even run at all. My grip on his hand loosened and pretty soon we were separated. Taehoon walked ahead a little and tried to pet a stray cat.

I hung back. That kid really asked these direct questions. They were questions that strangers had hinted at when striking up a conversation, but I could easily avoid them. It’s just… he didn’t sugarcoat anything. Like me I guess. I just hadn’t talked about it in a while.

To be honest I wasn’t sure if Hansu would approve of me sitting his kid on my knee and telling him, “You see, when I was younger, I was a gullible idiot who trained with two masters and listened to the stupid Russian lady instead of your dad. She’s the reason my leg is messed up.”

I declined staying for dinner. I think Hansu could tell something happened recently. I was a little mad at myself for letting that bother me. Taehoon didn’t do any wrong really. Curiosity isn’t a crime.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

“Curiosity isn’t a crime,” she muttered, wrapping her ankle one more time. Hansu vigorously ripped off the tape for her, casting her a sharp look.

“Yeah… it’s not,” he blowed through his nose heavily. Control your temper, he mused. “But I don’t see why you would be curious. Aren’t I doing just fine as a teacher?”

“Yeah. You’re a great teacher. It’s just… if I wanna become a professional I’m gonna have to be open to other coaches and different techniques.”

“It’s all the same technique.”

“Teaching technique. No offense to you, Seong-nim,” she clarified.

Hansu rose from the floor and backed away from her. Something stung. He looked down at her as she reached for her toes and stretched. The black belt that hung around her waist was no joke. He helped her earn that. He taught her all that. And now… suddenly… his prime pupil wants to “expand her horizons”. Whatever that means.

(Y/N) looked up at him and smiled slightly. “Besides. I don’t want to embarrass you in front of that volleyball player.”

“Let’s not talk about that,” he prodded her with his bare toes and walks away. “Come on. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

He heard her rise off the floor mats and pad after him.

“You’re Hansu Seong?” A thick Russian accent. A pretty, yet worn face. Athletic. Intimidating. Hansu grits his teeth and squares his shoulders. He nods.

“I’m here for (L/N).”

“I don’t normally let my students walk home with strangers.”

“I’m not a stranger to her,” the lady crosses her arms. “And I shouldn’t be a stranger to you. If ve are to be vorking together.”

(Y/N) had handled it maturely. She explained it like an adult. Yet, Hansu worried. And he fretted. He even admitted to her that he felt betrayed.

“Ah, Seong-nim. You’re turning green again,” she said straightforwardly. A tiny smirk overtook her face. He wanted to laugh, but didn’t. “(Y/N). I’m serious.”

“I think having double input is helping me. I think you know it too. Please, please Seong-nim. If I preform bad this next fight I’ll drop her.”

“You know you’ll preform well,” he sighed. It was a fact. It had nothing to do with this new Russian coach and everything to do with his faith in himself and her dedication.

“Thanks.”

“Just take care of yourself. Do all the stretches I told you about.”

“You know, Vera tells me to take care of myself too. I promise, I’m not slacking,” she wraps her arms around Hansu’s torso.

Despite the warm pride that glowed inside him, he stills felt apprehensive. Returning the hug to his friend, he told himself over and over again that he’d have to accept it. (Y/N) was growing up. If he didn’t pick up the pace, she might grow up without him. Reach the top without him.

“No. Absolutely not. I hate UFC fighting,” Hansu said. Firmly- his voice didn’t shake at all.

Vera turned lazy blue eyes over to him and furrowed her brows. “Seong, what are you talking about? Almost all of my students compete with a different martial art. Otherwise she gets no street knowledge. It helps.”

Hansu never wanted her to have street knowledge. She was training for the sport of Taekwondo. Even if he felt the sport was so much more… it was important to him that she still saw it as a sport. That’s all it had ever been to her. That’s what he prepped her for. Not a street fight. And definitely not a fight where she was guaranteed to face off against some exotic martial art.

“Well maybe instead I could enter a MMA tourn-”

“No,” Hansu interjected again. He tried to ignore the slightly offended looks the girls were giving him. “I didn’t train you for that. You wouldn’t be ready at all.”

“Which is why I would train her,” Vera stated slowly. She leaned on the table and sipped her soda. Hansu glared. He wasn’t sure how to convey his thoughts to his pupil properly without that snobby Russian lady adding in her two cents.

“Seong, you are a man. I’m a woman. I know we’re both very good at Taekwondo, but I think I might know what’s best this time. Maybe this should just be a girl thing. You can stay behind.”

He slammed his hand on the table and excused himself. (Y/N) called him later to say she made up her mind. She would train for a UFC fight. She wanted his help, too.

He didn’t sleep that night.

“That is four wins in a row now,” said head trainer Vera Gusev over the noise of the crowd. She leaned over to Hansu. “She is doing good, no?”

Hansu nodded, adjusted his glasses, and handed her the extra water bottle. “Make her drink more water. I don’t need her dehydrating.”

“You mean I don’t need her dehydrating,” Vera shot. Hansu felt like kicking her.

He felt like he had hardly sat down and he was already standing. This whole environment set him on edge. He didn’t know why.

Bright lights illuminated the ring where (Y/N) stood. She was beginning her next fight. Judo verses Taekwondo.

“Tap out!”

This was his worst nightmare.

“Tell her to tap out!”

This is exactly what he feared would happen.

His eyes were fixated on Gusev until he heard a crack.

The other woman released her grip immediately. (Y/N) was left as a heap on the floor. Hansu’s hands shot to his hair. His body felt numb.

“Promise you’ll get it checked out. Gusev. She needs a doctor. It needs to be checked out,” he pleaded. Insisted. Begged. Everything was so tight and crowded. Maybe his voice was drowned out by the noise. He watched the Russian escort her student away.

Of course the tournament was in Japan. Hansu didn’t speak the language well. Neither did (Y/N).

Why were neither of them answering the phone?

Why was (Y/N) still listed in next month’s tournament overseas?

He thought they would be on the return flight home. They didn’t meet him at the airport. His visa nearly expired by the time he got on a plane to Korea.

“Her leg was broken,” Hansu said into the phone. “Wasn’t it?”

There was a pause before a thick Russian sigh. “Yes,” answered Vera.

“It was a spiral fracture. We didn’t catch it till-”

“Are you f^cking insane?” Hansu spat. He never wanted to throw the phone so badly. “It was broken. You sick bitch. You could tell it was broken!”

Vera just cursed on the other side of the line. “She wanted you to know. Goodbye, Seong.”

The phone was thrown across the room. The sandbag in the studio was ripped. A girlfriend was called and info dumped.

Yet… Christmas cards were exchanged. Hansu’s was of him and his pregnant fiancée. (Y/N)’s didn’t include a picture.

“It healed improperly,” (Y/N)’s voice rang over the phone. Like dull music that didn’t quite hit the right note. Hansu leaned into the couch and furrowed his brows. His son began crying in the background.

“What… does that mean?” He asked.

“Oh. Uh. Well… Seong-nim, they call it a malunion fracture,” she explained. He could hear the brokenness in her tone.

Sohyun called for him to help with Taehoon. He had to hang up.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

“Thank you Hansu! Dinner tasted really good,” (Y/N) praises. She pats his hand that lays on the table affectionately. Taehoon looks up from his plate.

“Yeah,” he mumbles in agreement. His nanny cast him a sharp look. He straightened up and repeated himself a little louder.

Hansu smiled as he cleared the dishes. His little family was happy. “(Y/N), if you want to spend the night you can. I hear it’s going to rain.”

“Oh, no thank you! I didn’t wanna be a bother,” she leans back into her chair and holds up her hands.

“You’re not a bother-!” Taehoon counters loudly. He stands on his chair and swings a feeble kick towards (Y/N). She deflects it and yanks him into her arms.

“He’s right,” Hansu calls over his shoulder. He feels a touch of color rising to his cheeks as he says that. It feels weird. The warm water washes over his hands as he scrubs at the dirty plates. Taehoon’s indistinguishable voice can be heard over the running water.

“Dad-!” He shouts.

Hansu turns down the water and looks over his shoulder, “Hmm?”

“Make (Y/N) stay over.”

Hansu laughs and turns back to the dishes. More heat in his cheeks. That brat is kinda embarrassing sometimes (maybe he should invest in a muzzle). “She’s invited.”

“Aw, I’ll feel like I’m intruding the bachelor pad,” she says.

“What’s a bachelor pad?” Taehoon quips.

He crashed as soon as his head hit the covers. It left Hansu alone with (Y/N). He wordlessly stared at her as she closed his son’s bedroom door. She caught onto this and made eye contact.

“Hansu, y’know it’s rude to stare. No wonder your kid has bad manners,” she chuckled. Hansu moved to cuff the back of her head but ended up just caressing her neck.

“Your mouth got bigger.”

“Yeah. I still think Taehoon talks more than I do,” she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. There was a moment of pause. “…It’s uh- getting kinda hard to keep up with him. Maybe you should… let him take up a sport?”

“He wants to do taekwondo,” Hansu admitted, “I just don’t have the time to have a one-on-one lesson with him.”

“C’mon. He’s a natural athlete. He destroys the monkey bars-” Hansu laughed but she continued, “-I’m serious! He’d be a great student and you know it.”

“Yeah. Believe me, I’ve given him lessons before. He just gets ahead of himself. He’s got a kind of got a kind of his own you know.”

She nodded understandingly. It seemed to him that his son was almost the perfect embodiment of (Y/N) in the past. Presently she stood upright and unfolded her arms.

“Well, Hansu— ah, Seong-nim. I don’t wanna tell you how to parent…. But can you help me to my room?”

“Oh, yeah,” he offered her his arm for support, which she accepted. His arm felt cold when they finally released each other.

He opened the door for her and flicked on the light. He made some small talk.

“You seem to get along with Taehoon well. Have you been taking him to the movies? You still like the cinema, right?”

“Oh, yeah. I think we’ve seen one together- a month ago?” She chuckled, “I didn’t know you remembered.”

“Of course I remembered,” Hansu said. He placed some fresh blankets on the bed. “You were a big movie fanatic your senior year order high school.”

She walked over to the bed. Hansu found that, while he had trouble keeping eye contact, (Y/N) seemed to always be trying to catch his gaze. She leaned down to catch his eye until he finally caved and looked at her.

She said nothing, just straightened up and smiled. “Well thanks for letting me stay.”

“You’re always welcomed.”

She limped to the bed and sat down in the mattress. Grabbing onto his arm, she caught him just before he turned to leave. “Hansu… please consider teaching Taehoon?”

“Okay.”

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

I tried to remain opened minded and not let myself become frustrated, but it was getting more and more difficult. Taehoon, standing bare foot in the playground sand, dressed in spring-time clothes, stared at me with eyebrows arched angrily and eyes narrowed.

“I wanna learn kicks.”

“You can’t until you get down the footwork,” I counter.

I sit a few feet away from him in the sand, Legs extended before me, wearing sandals and yoga pants. I lean back on my hands. My crutch is tucked away behind me.

A couple younger kids played on the swings across the playground. Taehoon and I had the sandbox to ourselves. I currently was indicating to him that he should adjust his stance.

“You’re gonna want to keep your weight centered and not lean too much one way or another, okay?” I instructed.

The five and a half year old just glared at me even more, let out a very sassy huff, and shuffled his feet into a correct position.

“Don’t back talk your tutor, Tae.”

“Okay (Y/N).”

I was proud of him. His manners were getting better.

As we walked to the train station my legs started bothering me. Taehoon grabbed my hand and ushered me to a bench. I ruffled his hair and told him what a gentleman he was becoming.

“Mom!” Taehoon pointed across the street to an icecream store. “I mean- (Y/N). Wait-”

He crossed his arms over his face in embarrassment. Tiny hands grabbed at the roots of his dark hair.

I laughed and ruffled his hair. “It’s okay Tae. Maybe we can get icecream… if you show me twenty jumping jacks.”

He sprung right off the bench.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

Silly as if sounded, I felt like I was maturing backwards. I thought I had overcome my faze of trying to impress other and people-please. Turns out the symptoms were returning when it came to good old Master Seong.

As I sat on the sofa in my apartment, reviewing a movie to watch with Taehoon (to make sure it wasn’t inappropriate) I envisioned myself impressing Hansu with my tutoring skills. I still had my Taekwondo skills- enough to teach his son at least.

The thought vanished from my mind as soon as it came. It made me pause my movie and laugh into one of the decorative pillows.

“Oh god…” I mumbled, trying not to smile. “That’s so stupid!”

I waddled to the fridge and ate some ice cream. I a couldn’t help but notice that my leg hadn’t bothered me at all today. I figured I could look into an osteotomy surgery. If I was gonna settle down in Korea - with a stable job - then it was something I could save up for. The phone rang and I answered it, setting aside the half-eaten tub of ice cream. It was from a job I applied to.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

“Hansu, would it be okay if I took Taehoon to the beach?” I asked. I sat on his kitchen counter as he helped me wrap my leg with some gauze.

He adjusted his glasses and looked up at me. “The beach? Not the movie theatre?”

“No changing the subject, Mister Seong,” I ruffled his hair. It was kind of an accident- or force of habit. He playfully grabbed my hands and brought them to his mouth.

“I just thought there were movies out you two would want to see-”

“Nope. I promised I’d take him to the beach.”

Hansu quirked a brow doubtfully, “Is that really okay? It’s a long trip just to stay there for a couple hours.”

I nodded and smiled cheekily. “That’s why I thought…. You could… come with us?”

He laughed and shook his head. He kissed my hand affectionately… and I hate to admit that I was disappointed when he pulled away. He looked a little cocky. It was an expression that I hadn’t seen him make in a while. “Sure.”

Adorably tiny flip flops were slipped onto Taehoon’s feet- by my charming self. I unfastened his seatbelt and reached to scoop under his arms. Meanwhile Hansu rummaged through the trunk.

“Wake up sleepy guy. We’re here,” I whispered, pulling Taehoon upright. He lethargically runner his eyes, still not very alert. I pressed a tiny kiss against his temple to wake him up more, knowing he’d wipe it off in disgust. Sure enough he did just that.

“Ew… (Y/N)…” he mumbled. I could’ve swore I saw him resisting an embarrassed smile.

”Come on. Beach time!”

Suddenly he was wide awake. He jumped out of the car and darted towards the sand. I hobbled after him.

Hansu’s arms scooped around my waist as he hoisted me in the air and over his shoulder. My stomach hurt from laughing as I watched Taehoon run up to his dad and try to push him over.

The waves were cool but bearable, and the current wasn’t strong. I was finally set down and walked up onto the shore for a break. Thankfully I hadn’t gone insane yet- I still thought the beach was for playing in the water only. Not for sitting in the sand. (Except to be honest sitting in the squishy wet sand felt way better for my leg.)

Taehoon rushed over to me a couple seconds after I sad down on the towel. His teeth chattered as he asked for a snack.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Does your dad want any?” I ask, handing him a wipe for his hands. He asks me to pour some water on them to get the sand off.

“I dunno. Dad!”

Hansu starts walking towards us.

I hand Taehoon the box of pocky he had been asking for. I wrapped a towel around his tiny shivering frame.

“You want anything to eat Hansu?”

“You’re pretty comfortable just calling me by my first name now, huh?” He comments, accepting the snacks I was offering him.

“Oh. Sorry. Great, wise, sagacious Seong-nim.”

“Sagacious?” Taehoon asks.

“Yeah. You’ll have to look it up in a dictionary with your dad later.”

“I know what sagacious means,” Hansu scoffs. He wraps a towel around himself and shakes his head.

“No you don’t dad. You’re dumber than a b-”

“Taehoon,” Hansu interjects sharply. He doesn’t say anything more, and I can tell whatever apologies Taehoon will give are pretty much worthless.

“Show him your footwork first,” I chime encouragingly.

Taehoon nervously move into the position he thinks is correct. It is. He’s annoyingly good at picking up those sorts of things.

Hansu watches with arms crossed and eyebrows drawn together. I sit beside him and smile Taehoon. The five-and-a-half-year-old (he insisted that was his age) displayed a couple different footwork steps I taught him. He even dared to preform a front kick, even though it wasn’t perfect last time we practiced. He nailed it.

“Who…”

“(Y/N) did,” Taehoon interrupted before his dad could continue. “She’s my tutor.”

Hansu looks over at me skeptically. I avoid looking at him by instead keeping my gaze trained on his son. Taehoon looks a little too proud for my liking.

“Do you actually listen to (Y/N) though? Or do you talk back?” Seong-nim finally asks. His son’s expression becomes a little flustered, and he looks to me for an answer.

“He’s usually behaved. Right Tae?”

He nods enthusiastically.

Which is how I convinced Hansu to teach his son Taehwondo. The end.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

“(Y/N)! Come on the swings with me!” Taehoon demands. I sometimes wish he was nonverbal. That way I wouldn’t have the moms sitting nearby staring at me.

“Not not Taehoon,” I reply quietly. He’s getting too big. I secretly doubt I can keep up with him for much longer.

He scuffs his feet against the ground until he swings to a stop. I watch silently as he dismounts and shuffles over to me.

“Please.”

I sigh heavily. He sounds so sincere… but my leg hurts so badly. Reluctantly I grip the side of the bench and stand upright. The sound of whispering from the other seats grates my ears. I take Taehoon’s extended hand and walk - with difficulty - to my seat.

I’m getting a little slow for him I guess. That’s what onlookers think, anyways.

His little cheeks burn pink to the point where I almost feel bad, even if he is just embarrassed for my sake. I honestly don’t G-A-F. I cast a casual finger over my shoulder at the moms and sat down on the swing. I was sure Taehoon hadn’t seen me. He flipped them off as well.

“So what did happen?” Taehoon asks. He stares at me sincerely as we sit in the park. I pluck at the grass and sigh. My eyes no longer sting. I don’t feel as awkward, although I know that the words will still choke out of me with some difficulty.

“To my leg?” It’s kind of rhetorical.

“Yeah.”

I grab more strands of grass aggressively. “I broke it in a tournament. UFC. We were traveling in Japan, and I lost contact with your dad. My coach and I didn’t get it checked it out… so it got worse. Eventually it healed incorrectly. They call it a-”

“—Malunion?”

“Have you been eavesdropping on your dad?” I shoot him a sharp look. He ducks his head sheepishly and nods.

“Well, uh, yeah,” I conclude lamely. “It’s been hard to save up for surgery… and reconnect with other people. That’s why I traveled so much, to avoid those kind of things. Am I loosing you-?”

Taehoon shakes his head and scowls, yet he seems attentive enough. I keep talking for a minute or two before suggesting we get some food. As we a walk I debate whether I should tell him about my new job offer. I’m unsure of how he’ll take it. I don’t even know how I feel about it.

“I think my dad likes you,” Taehoon says. What the hell?

“What the hell?” I blink. “I mean… what?”

It’s completely out of left field. I try not to laugh as I look over at him. Taehoon is completely serious. He stares at me with an almost smug expression. Yet again I want to slap him.

“Where’d you come up with that idea?” I snort. He smirks and gives a small shrug.

“I dunno. He just likes you.”

“Well, friends are supposed to like each other,” I agree with a nod of my head. Although Taehoon seems to have something on his mind, he says nothing else. I stretch my hands above my head.

“Hey Taehoon… I need to tell you something that’s pretty important,” I begin slowly. “I might have to move in a while. To a different part of Korea.”

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

I took Taehoon to a library.

We visited the zoo.

He learned the Japanese alphabet. I complied to take him to the nearest fairgrounds.

I avoided overstaying my welcome at the Seong house. Hansu would walk me to my car, but he never explicitly asked me to stay. He just spoke gently to me. He would wrap his arm around my waist and such. It never bothered me.

Taehoon turned six. After his birthday party, a bit of school shopping, and his first Taekwondo tournament, I decided to finally step down from my job.

Hansu looked at me with confusion. “You want to quit?”

“Yeah. I want to retire, not commit f***ing homicide or something,” I counter, admittedly feeling defensive.

Hansu leans back against the kitchen counter and stares. His Taekwondo uniform had become a less reoccurring outfit for him. Today he was wearing a normal T-shirt and some sweats Taehoon and I had bought him on a trip to the strip mall. (Taehoon had encouraged me to actually strip and was slapped promptly on the butt.) The point being, I was slightly more intimidated by regular well-build-dad Hansu than I was patient-Taekondo-Seong-nim. I’m not sure when that mental switch became a reality for me.

“I thought you and Taehoon were getting along?” He ignores the last part of my comment and plows to the point.

“We were,” I admit. “But it’s not about Taehoon. He’s not really, yknow, gonna need a nanny while he’s attending school. In fact that might be harder for him to make friends if I am around.”

“Why would having a nanny make a difference?”

I shrug. “I dunno. Children are cruel?”

“So are women.”

“Which is why I’m not lesbian at the moment.”

“(Y/N). Be serious with me.”

I give him a defensive shrug. I had imagined this would go a bit smoother. I was even going to suggest some long distance communication. Honestly it was stupid of me to think he would take it well.

“He’s getting older Hansu. So am I. I need to… fix… my problems. Like I- I just need to focus on me,” I state firmly. As firmly as I can, anyway. My cracking voice makes getting the point across difficult.

“So have you found another job?”

“Yes.”

Hansu runs a hand across his face and shifts his gaze to the ceiling. I can see disappointment in his movements. There’s a gloss to his eyes that forces me to avert my eyes to the floor.

“I just thought… you were happy,” He says.

“Well- yeah,” I reply lamely. “I am. I’m really happy.”

“You just don’t think we need you?”

I snap my gaze over to him. “Hansu there wasn’t supposed to be a ‘we’ in this job. I’m doing this for Taehoon-”

“And me.” Handy returns the eye contact. I can see him muscles flex a bit. A vein pulses in his neck. “You mainly did it… to help me.”

I shrug in defeat. Yes. Sure. I did it for him too.

“I’m quitting Seong-nim. I’m sorry.”

For a couple seconds the room is silent. Then Hansy stands upright and brushes past me. “I’ll go tell Taehoon.”

Taehoon’s rough playtime with his action figures is paused. The whole house is silent. I wipe my eyes frantically. Screw Hansu Seong. I conclude Taehoon’s observation was wrong. His dad doesn’t like me. At the moment I don’t like him much either.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

It hurts Hansu… watching the other men shove (Y/N)’s belongings into the trunk of her car. She stands nearby, holding her purse, chatting with one of the guys helping her out.

He feels Taehoon’s grabby hands rubbing across his chin and up his cheek, checking for any of his dad’s tears. The little brat. Now Hansu really has to hold it together.

Not like Taehoon is faring very well. Seeming small and vulnerable, cuddled against his dad, limp in Hansu’s strong arms. He isn’t held very often. Hansu can feel a combination of tears and snot wetting h the shoulder of his shirt as his son hides his face. He rubs his hand slowly against Taehoon’s back.

(Y/N) closes the trunk and thanks the men. She stands beside her car. They had all agreed. No hugs.

Hansu wanted to hug her though. Her touch always felt warm. He felt cold now.

The eye contact felt too short. (Y/N) smiled sweetly and waved. Taehoon stirred, peeking out of the crook of Hansu’s neck. He waved back. Hansu’s lips quirked into what he thought was a gentle smile. Based on (Y/N)’s scoff and the slight shake of her head, it was a smirk.

She ducked into the car. The engine rubles and she pulled into the busy street.

“I hate her,” came the muffled voice of Taehoon. Hansu squeezed him against his side.

“Don’t say that.”

“I hate you too.”

“Taehoon…” Hansu can’t find the right tone to use. Honestly.

“You should’ve made her stay. If you weren’t a damn coward you would’ve told her.”

Hansu did, indeed, feel the unsaid words on the tip of his tongue, and was suddenly certain she didn’t feel the same.

Fem!Reader x Kim • One-shot

Warnings: Slight gerontophile themes, overall sfw, unrequited attraction. Cursing. Violence. Mental struggles. Read till the end! I swear you come to your senses.

Word count: 5k+

I wasn’t expecting to be walking outside a government building around six pm, but here I was.

Files in my hands, I was trying to my best to be an ideal intern. All I had to do was transfer some papers and I’d be done for the day. So that’s what I did. I handed the papers to a woman in the lobby, and opted to go through the building to the parking lot. The thing is I’m not great at remembering directions. The nice lady gave me clear instructions that seem to evaporate in my head the moment I began walking away. I was a senior in college. Just trying to get through my internship hoping to get a job as a secretary or some sh*t. I was interning for an office job here at a government building. I had no idea about any bad apples employed there until that day. I must’ve taken a wrong turn. My introversion didn’t want to ask for directions, and my extroversion decided to find a way out myself. I turned into a hallway, and— hardly stopping myself— almost slammed into a man.

“Sorry,” I said, ducking towards the other side of the hall. The apology wasn’t enough for him, apparently. “Watch where you’re going-!” He barked. It did make me flinch, I’ll admit. I stopped in my tracks, almost feeling a little annoyed. Yeah… I apologized. What happened to manners? I turned to the man, taking in his appearance. Tall, a little brutish. I caught sight of some pins that no doubt meant something important. Damn. If this guy is of some significance, maybe I should’ve keep my mouth shut. At least, that’s what I thought.

“Sorry, I will.”

I turned to walk away still a little put off. Then I felt his hand clasp around my wrist and yank me backwards. I did yelp, and curse at him— heat of the moment sort of a thing

“Show some respect, b*tch,” he breathed. His breath smelt like smoke. Very unpleasant.

I wiggled away from him, slamming my heel into his toe. The officer raised his hand to grab me, and I was prepared with a mouthful of profanity and slander but… Before I could get in another word, I pressed into something warm and hard. Really solid. I stumbled forward.

That’s when I saw him. I had to crane my neck up/down (your height) to really look at him. Must’ve been 6’2. Glasses. Not the neatest hair, but it was still elegant. An angel? A demon? He looked like both. He sort of was.

The new stranger sort of— completely- ignored me. I swallowed a thick lump in my throat. It was partially out of nervousness, but I was also swallowing down a million insults. He stared at the officer. An expression of anger, possibly indifference.

“You should go.”

That was all he said. Three words. I walked away down the hall, a little confused. Words were still caught in my throat that would never get out. The hallway didn’t lead outside. There were familiar rooms, though. I could find my way out, but I hesitated. I wanted to wait. I wanted to thank that man for… sort of stepping in. At least, I think that’s what he did. It didn’t matter though. I stood idly against the wall, waiting for the older man to reappear.

When he did, he looked different. He had more purpose to his walk, and he had some papers in his hand. I noticed, too, that his hands were red.

“S-Sir—?” Since when did I stammer? Social anxiety was finally creeping in? I thought I was over this.

He stopped, casting a sharp glance over at me. His hardened features and cold look softened a bit. It wasn’t very noticeable, and maybe I was just searching for some sort of reaction. His glasses glinted and he was silent.

“Thank you. For stepping in back there,” I finished. My cheeks felt warm.

He kept quiet. The corners of his lips perked upward a little. Barely at all. He didn’t nod, didn’t hum in acknowledgment. He just turned and kept walking.

To me, nothing could have been more attractive.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

I spent the rest of the night eating, getting ready for the next day, and thinking about that encounter. Sure, I only saw the guy for a minute or two at most, but that was the most exciting thing that had happened to me all month. No, I didn’t like being grabbed or having to mouth off my superior who I’d never met. But that man… the one with the nice hair and the glasses… he was just one of those guys. Not overly handsome, but not bad to look at. The kind of person who gets stapled into your mind. I wondered what he was doing there in the first place. How old was he.

More questions kept flooding my head the next day and the day after that. Actually, this was becoming a problem. I couldn’t get the guy out of my mind and I had no idea why.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

Sogin High School. I graduated from there and am a certified alumni. I was headed there, probably four days after the incident. Normally I wouldn’t spent my free day visiting my old school, but a teacher had called me up and asked me to come. I decided to humor her. She had been a nice teacher anyways. The campus was still the same. The elitists ran rampant, like always. I sort of felt sorry for the poor children stuck in their immature high school years. I had bigger problems. I was still immature too I guess. My thoughts would wander to the man every now and then. I looked for him in crowds. Part of me felt disappointed about his seeming disregard for me and my gratitude.

I looked for his face amongst the crowd of high schoolers. Passing by the old classrooms and intermingling with my underclassman felt weird. I kept close to my teacher pal, but ended up wandering off.

“It was nice to see you, (Y/N),” she had said. It had come as a surprise to her to see me as a twenty-three-year old. She was probably expecting my face to be more/less mature (any baby faced readers out there??)

“You too, Ms Han,” I answered. I meant it, but being around her warm and smiley face was giving me painful flashbacks to my acne-prone days, and her personality was a little stuffy after a while. It was nice to escape.

I walked towards some of my old classrooms. As I peered into a classroom, I caught sight of a lone girl. A sophomore- carrying way more books than she could handle. Oh school projects. I didn’t miss those at all. I was always awkward about offering help, especially to strangers. My internship was prompting me to step out of my shell though.

“Uh… do you need some help?” I called. She looked up at me. She seemed familiar, features graceful and delicate. I’d never met her before though. Her lips parted as she nodded. I’m guessing it was obvious that I was an alumni. “Yes— please!”

I walked into the classroom fully, approaching her desk that was completely emerged in the sunlight. If I remembered correctly, I’d say my desk was two seats behind hers. I scooped up half of her heaping books. the girl couldn’t even fit them all in her backpack. This must be some research project.

“I’m (Y/N), by the way,” I offered. She staggered upright with the rest of the books in hand.

“Oh… and I’m Minji Kim. Nice to meet you,” she replied, a little breathless. She added a small thank you, which I thought was sweet.

She walked home. I accompanied her. I wasn’t in any hurry to get back to my college dorm and I had already said my goodbyes to my old teacher, Ms Han. We walked down a few blocks, exchanging a few words. I handed her the rest of her books as soon as her house was in sight.

“Thanks for your help!” She gushed. Nice girl. I waved it off and began to turn around, but I stopped. That’s when I saw him again.

This time in casual clothes, peering out of one of the houses, looking a little damp and rumpled, but relaxed. It caught me off guard— all I could do was stare wordlessly and question every life decision I ever made. He called for Minji to come inside (so they knew each other-?), and even waved at me. He didn’t even recognize me… I don’t think. I waved back. A feeling of warmth pounded through my body and filled my cheeks. The walk back to the school parking lot was very disoriented. I stumbled over my shoes and almost crashed into a cyclist. I wasn’t expecting to see him again. It was a really odd coincidence. Too odd for me. It didn’t sit well in my stomach.

My inner musings about the man, who I now dubbed Mr Kim, became more frequent. I had seen him twice. It felt like having an airport crush sort of. Only you booked the same hotel as your airport crush, or something similar. It plagued me to the point that, the next day at my internship, I asked about him. He must’ve been at the office for one reason or another. It was possible that he worked there.

“Hey… Chae-Won?” I asked my mentor who was way too invested in reapplying her lipstick. She glanced over at me and absently straightened some papers, still preening at herself in the reflection of her computer screen. “Was there a Mr Kim visiting last week?” I began. I cringed in realization that Kim is a very common last name. Something flashed over her face. “Uh, there was an incident with a Mr Kim, if that’s what you mean. I think you were headed home though.” “Does he work here?” I pressed. “No? Why do you ask?”

I resorted to telling her there was no reason.

It wasn’t as if he was plaguing my thoughts. I don’t know why he bothered me so much. I started to drop it a little. Life moves on. I wasn’t obsessed. I steamed some rice that night and binged a drama. Anything to get my mind off “Mr Kim” was a relief. He was giving me a headache, and at the same time making me hot in the face. I kept wondering how old he was. He was older. He was courser and colder. He had stepped into a very minor interaction at my intern workplace. There was nothing notable about what he did.

But still bothered me though. He hadn’t accepted my thanks, not really. I had seen a reaction, but a very slight one.

I tried to recall how his voice sounded as I clumsily shoved a mouthful of rice into my mouth. The heat burned the roof of my mouth, actually, and I had to spit it out. My daydreams about that guy were actually interfering with my eating habits, which wasn’t good. Anyway- he had only said three words to me, tops. You should go. It was enough to make my heartbeat pick up pace.

I was actually a little worried, at that point. If this guy was going to haunt my thoughts until he accepted the damn “thank you,” then I was going to have to see him and make him accept it.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

I ended up back in the sophomore classroom. “Can I ask you something?” I said suddenly.

This conversation was going to be a little awkward. I could feel my embarrassment already creeping in. This wasn’t going to blow over well. Minji blinked, nodding her head. “How old is uh… Mr Kim?”

“My dad?”

That already wasn’t a good sign. It should have been a red flag. Alarms should have been blaring in my head, but they weren’t. My infatuation was still growing. Color was visible in my neck. I nodded, leaning forward onto my desk.

“He’s forty nine I’m pretty sure. We don’t really talk about it…” Minji answers. I can tell she doesn’t have an endless amount of friends. Most people wouldn’t answer that weird question anyway. Minji was just more naïve than most people?

“Oh,” I breathed. I don’t find his age attractive. I didn’t find it bothersome either. Why did I feel so bashful? I had barely seen him. In my head, I knew I would chose a forty nine year old over any guy my age.

“How old are you?” Minji asked. It startled me.

“Twenty three. You?” “Eighteen.”

Our conversation continued. My mind wandered elsewhere, which didn’t surprise me anymore. I tuned into Minji whenever possible. I was developing some weird ignoring disorder or something. She asked me if I could walk home with her and I agreed.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

My pulse thrummed audibly in my ears. I realized I really admired the way his glasses framed his face.

“This is (Y/N) (L/N). She’s an alumni from my school,” Minji announced. She seemed a little bashful about introducing me to her dad.

It should have been off-putting, but it wasn’t really. I could see his eyes gloss over with familiarity. There’s a face everyone can pull when they recognize a stranger. A subtle shift of acknowledgement; hey, I’ve seen you before.

He said hullo. I could tell he wasn’t super talkative. It didn’t really surprise me, actually. He didn’t seem like the loud type. I said hello back. I was completely aware of the color in my cheeks. My goodbye was short and brisk, but neither Kim seemed to mind.

That walk back to the car was filled with more uncertainty. Why hadn’t I thanked him? I wasn’t sure. I wanted an excuse to see him again, I guess. I was attracted to the demeanor. The certainty. The subtle shift in personality. The damnable glasses and the damnable hair. Forty nine didn’t register in my head as too old. All I could think about was how he looked less like a demon and more like an angel now. My heart hammered pathetically in my chest.

The weekend came and went. I busied myself with other things, even hung out with my dorm mates at a party. I told one of them about my first encounter with Mr Kim… but kept the Minji-meetings to myself. It was a coincidence, but I had a feeling they wouldn’t understand.

“Didn’t your coworker say Mr Kim was in an incident?” They asked, taking a slow sip from their Bloody Mary. It didn’t dawn on me that I had already mentioned that to them. Sheepishness washed over me. But after I recovered from my embarrassment I came to realize the weight to their words. That’s right… Chae-Won had mentioned an incident involving Mr Kim. I had been too embarrassed and distracted to ask for elaboration. “Yeah, she did,” I nodded slowly, leaning my head against the couch we sat on. My friend raised an eyebrow and cocked their head. “Couldn’t that be a bad thing?” They ask.

I keep my lips sealed. A blush rises to my cheeks. I hadn’t thought of that. Even in my delusional state, I didn’t even consider him causing a scene over me. There had to be some reason he was at the office, and there had to be some reason his hands were red when he left. I only remembered that then at the party. It’s funny how details slip from your mind for a while until you suddenly remember them. I decided to ask Chae-Won about the incident.

I hadn’t encountered my superior since that day. He was a military officer- so it wasn’t unusual for people like him to frequent the building. That man in particular, though, had been absent. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was on Mr Kim’s bad side though. He had gotten on mine.

At the office, while my mentor was patiently explaining how to use a certain filing system in the computer, I couldn’t help but stare down at my wrist. There was no mark from where the officer grabbed me. I had reported it though. As Chae-Won droned on, I had trouble focusing on her words. They slipped through her lips and seemed to fade into the background. “Uh, Chae-Won…”

“Were you paying attention?” She snapped. I felt guilt crawling into my stomach. “I— you sort of lost me. Sorry.”

She sighed. A break; that’s what she suggested. I closed my eyes and kneaded my forehead. This internship wasn’t the most interesting thing ever.

“I heard you were involved in the little scrap the other week.” Chae-Won’s voice prodded me out of my trance. I looked up at her with wide eyes. “You must still be shaken up about it, huh?” She asks. There’s a hint of concern in her eyes, but I get the feeling that whatever I tell her will just give her gossiping rights more than anything. “Yeah. I still don’t understand what happened in the ‘scrap’ though,” I use air quotations to emphasize my point. “Did Mr Kim say something to the officer?”

“Officer Baek? Yeah? He was in the ER. You’re lucky you weren’t hurt!” My stomach didn’t plummet. The color didn’t drain from my face. My eyes didn’t widen. Instead, my heartbeat picked up. A lot. An intense heat overflowed my body. Kim walked away. I thanked him… and he walked away.

Three words echod in my head. “You should go.”

The age gap never resonated as a problem to me. All that mattered was that I backed into a demonic-angel- pressed against his tall and sturdy form- and he told me to go. When I thanked him he hardly batted an eye. He walked away.

That was attractive to me.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

I texted Minji if I could see her the next day. I figured that I could tell her about meeting her dad already. Again, the thought of mg underclassman being the daughter of my recent obsession didn’t bother me. I was even bold enough to admit it was an obsession, but only to myself. She replied with a nice confirmation text and that was that. I crawled into the covers that night and braced myself for the next day. The normal routine. My eyes roamed across the room as my imagination ran wild. I wondered what kind of argument Mr Kim had gotten into with officer… Baek? Officer Baek. What had happened. What kind of man was Mr Kim, besides attractive. I noted that I found his attitude and the way he carried himself attractive. Within our brief encounters, he always remained quiet and curt. Polite around Minji, of course. I guess my daydreams had sort of drifted off track. I wondered what kind of job he had. Maybe a security officer? Or maybe something else… a little more ordinary. I couldn’t make up my mind, so I fell asleep.

As soon as my classes were over, I got into my car and started driving towards my old school. Rain started pattering on my windshield. I always did love a dramatic atmosphere. Now no one could judge me for playing my bad*as Spotify playlist on the way over. I realized that Minji probably wasn’t out of school yet, which caused my stomach to jolt. I told her I’d meet her at her place. I could only hope she had an umbrella.

As much as my heart throbbed at the thought of seeing Mr Kim a little early, my intrusive anxious thoughts told me to go get some coffee. A nice steamy drink to help warm my cold feet. When I pulled into the drive thru for a coffee shop I ended up ordering three drinks subconsciously. It was probably my intern instincts kicking in. I had grown used to running out for really unnecessary coffee orders. My autopilot brain just told me to order some for the people I was seeing. I spewed out some nonsense I thought Minji might like. My face felt warmer as I ordered something more simple and straightforward for Mr Kim.

The drinks steamed in the cup holder as I drove towards their house. I almost drove right by, but I ended up pulling over and rolling down my window.

“Minji! Get in!”

What a good alumni I am, right?! The kid was walking without an umbrella, trying to shield herself with her backpack. As soon as she got in the car I shoved the drink into her hands.

She apologized for being so imprudent or some sh*t. I didn’t care. I was just glad I ran into her. Anyway, I wasn’t about to scold her. That was never in the job description. “Do you want me to turn the heat on?”

“T-That’s okay! Thank you. I’ll just shower at home,” she gushed, pulling her lips away from the cup. I was kinda proud of myself for picking a drink she liked. I still felt apprehensive and turned on the heater anyway. I only realized when we got there that I was going to have to be with Mr Kim alone. While Minji was in the shower, that is. Actually, speak of the devil, Mr Kim was about to pick Minji up. He looked a little frantic, but obviously calmed down as soon as we stepped out of the car. I was a little ashamed of myself for noticing the relaxation in his stuff shoulders when he caught sight of her. By no means was I intentionally checking him out; but his hair was looking nice today. “Thanks (Y/N). I’ll be quick!” Minji called. Her feet padded hurriedly between her room and the bathroom. It left me awkwardly standing in the entry hall with the two coffees in hand. Mr Kim closed and locked the door behind us. It shouldn’t have made my face heat up.

I would have started the conversation, but I followed Mr Kim into the kitchen and offered him the coffee instead. I could tell that he wanted to say something anyway. My chest felt really tight. I was going to make him accept my thanks.

“Minji tells me you’re a senior,” he offered, stirring some cream into his coffee. Honestly that was a little uncalled for. The cream, I mean. Who would’ve thought…

“That’s right,” I replied. My face felt warmer than usual. My blush was an unwarranted violation of the subtly-code. “I’m interning right now at a government office. It’s not super interesting, but I wanna help improve the system eventually. Especially with the juvenile prison situation.”

Kim nodded as he replaced the lid on the coffee. I took a sip from my (warm drink) and looked down at the table.

When I looked at Mr Kim, I realized he looked really passive. There wasn’t a trace of embarrassment on his face. I was the only one whose cheeks were burning. He hummed. “And you applied for college fresh out of high school?” I nodded.

“Mhm. I changed my major after the first year. Started interning this year,” I let out an attempt at an easy-going chuckle. “It’s a weird coincidence though. Seeing you at the office, and then meeting your daughter.”

I stared down at my hands, feeling more of a burn in my face. A little disappointment crept into my chest. I was getting around to thanking him again… but he still seemed altogether dispassionate. Would this really make the haunting thoughts and guilt go away? Actually, I was more concerned with the fact that I was really attracted to him. He didn’t seem to give a damn about me.

If I would have looked up, I’d have caught sight of a very suspicious Mr Kim. “Yes, that was… a weird coincidence,” he murmured.

I smiled at the sound of his voice. It had been echoing in my head on-and-off for the past few weeks. You should go. My new favorite phrase— for no special reason at all.

“Mr Kim,” I began. My voice was a little feeble. “I wanted to thank you again, actually. I don’t usually get into encounters like that so… if you hadn’t been there… something worse might’ve happened.”

His gaze flickered down to my wrist, and all he did was nod. I could sense he wasn’t really accepting it now either. Maybe he was just that kind of guy. “Well, I think you could’ve handled yourself,” was all he said.

It was definitely an unusual sight. A twenty-three-year-old, wide eyed, staring at a man twice her age with in awe. Eyes not glancing where they shouldn’t, content to stare at his impassive expression. Normal college students don’t find themselves infatuated with a man they’ve barely met. And there I was.

Minji came into the kitchen, fully dressed. That was the end of me and Mr Kim’s conversation.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

That night, our conversation haunted me. It had nothing to do with our talk and everything to do with the look he had given me. Disinterested… maybe? He was polite and listened respectfully to what I was saying, but I got the feeling like something was off.

I was more attentive to him. My cheeks grew rosy at his words. My expression struggled to maintain impassive politeness and not break into a bashful smile. Mr Kim didn’t seem to have that trouble at all.

He wasn’t as interested in me as I was in him. I thought over what our conversation might’ve looked like to a bystander.

A middle aged man, good-looking and soft spoken, talking with me. A college senior wearing a hoodie and drinking her beverage. A young college student. A stable, capable older man. I guess the scene wasn’t as romantic as I thought. But to me, in the heat of the moment, my chest felt like warm and my stomach felt light. I still felt the warm kiss of a blush at the thought of Kim.

However… I began to doubt something. I wondered dubiously if Mr Kim would ever feel the same level of attraction. I reasoned he probably wouldn’t.

Tears trailed down my face in frustration; I was pretty mad at myself for being so stupid. Of course he wouldn’t. But I couldn’t help it. I was so… so attracted to him.

That night I tossed and turned in bed, wishing I had just asked for directions that fateful day two weeks ago. Even as I regretted the incident and running into Kim, my face still felt hot at the thought of me stumbling backwards into him. I felt jittery recalling his voice. That’s what was so damnable about the situation. I wasn’t normally so easily infatuated or irrational. Mr Kim did something different to me.

Something that, disgustingly enough, didn’t make me alarmed about the age difference. It didn’t matter to me, even though it normally would. I’d be disgusted in myself if it were any other person. But it wasn’t any other person.

I fell asleep with a lot of things on my mind.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

Kim was suspicious. He didn’t like coincidences, especially not coincidences that tied in with the little mission he was on two weeks ago. Minji was happy to have a new friend, especially an older figure in her life. That made Kim hesitate to follow after (Y/N). Maybe he was being overprotective, but that was sort of the norm nowadays. He just decided to dig a little deeper into her work. Why was she interning? Was her story legit? Was it an all coincidence? She seemed like a good kid, but was she really? He didn’t know. He needed to be sure.

𐬿𐬾𐬿𐬾𐬿

I was almost finished with my internship shift. My feet ached and my back was sore. I had just finished a delivery and was once again heading to my car. There was intense déjà vu. I knew my way to the parking lot from inside the building now. I passed by familiar hallways and unfamiliar ones. The footsteps that echoed behind me didn’t bother me; everyone had somewhere they needed to be.

I passed by a dozen people until I reached outside. The thing is, there were a pair of footsteps that had been ghosting me for a while, and I was getting uneasy. A little weirded out, I glanced behind me.

I recognized the guy. He had noticeable stitches over his eye and a bandage taped to his ear, but it was definitely Officer Baek. I felt a gradual drop to my confidence. Just don’t bump into him and you’ll be fine.

I crossed the street and into the parking complex and he continued in the same direction. Paranoid, I took an abrupt turn and went in between some cars. In my phone I scrolled through my contacts, ready to call my roommate and ask them to meet me somewhere close. My foot skidded and I slammed forward into someone. Nope. Nah. Nuh uh.

How the hell was my luck so bad? I felt dizzy and irritable looking up at the Officer who waited for me at the other end of the cars. “What the hell?” Did slip past my filter, happily enough.

He glared down (idc how tall you are he is taller.) at me. “This is my car. Shouldn’t you be going to yours?” I found it unbelievable that this was his car, but it actually wasn’t surprising seeing as I was really bad at decision making and my luck had run out just now. “You did make this easier though. I was gonna ask you about Code 66.”

“The computer filing program?” I countered dryly. I’m pretty sure that the system only went up to thirty-

“Kim! He goes by Kim. How do you know him? Cuz you two seem pretty close now…”

Officer Baek took another step closer and I took two backward. Creep. I reached for my purse and prepared to squirt some perfume in his eyes. The mention of Mr Kim rolled right over me. I wasn’t worrying about my silly infatuation, just surviving this encounter. Thank you very much.

“I met him the day you grabbed me. There’s not much of a connection, and I don’t have to answer your questions,” I said steadily. Hooray for my returned confidence. “Goodbye sir.”

I heard him open his car door and figured that was the end of it. But then… of course…

I yelped as my wrist was yanked backwards. Here comes the perfume and a kick to the crotch-

My heart pattered angrily against my ribs like a caged bird. Alerts sounded in my head as he tried shoving me in the car. I thrashed and cursed and yelled for help, dizzied as he slammed my head against the door.

The car driver door opened on its own and slammed into Officer Baek, smashing him against the next car. My arm was released. I looked around sporadically for the source, and of course found my liberator. Ironically, another swell of déjà vu flooded my head. Kim jumped out of the car, and my heart skipped a beat. Literally. I think I must’ve been scared. (Shocker.)

I numbly ran to my car as instructed. His words were muffled and fuzzy in my head. I waited, craning my neck to catch sight of them. Blood spurted onto the cars nearby and I heard glass break more than once. I thought about something as I waited, hands clutching my steering wheel nervously. I thought about what the hell was going on over there. What did Mr Kim do for a living? Should I be concerned about him? What’s code 66? I also thought about his disinterest in me… how he didn’t seem interested in a college student at all. Maybe Officer Baek hit my head a little harder than I thought, but my mind was suddenly a little clearer. Mr Kim was older than me. Too much older than me. But my stomach still squirmed, and my cheeks still felt warm. I would never get what I wanted, and it made my eyes sting. I had been so stupid. But I still wanted what I couldn’t have.

When Kim found me in my car, he asked if I was okay. I blurted out the only thing that came to mind. He had just fought off an officer. It was the most brutal thing I had partially witnessed, and no doubt my expression showed how mortified I was. But I said what was on my mind anyway.

“Mr Kim!” If I can’t have him… “Please! Teach me how to fight! B-Be my master!”

This is the next best thing.