Fem!Reader x Kim ⢠One-shot
Warnings: Slight gerontophile themes, overall sfw, unrequited attraction. Cursing. Violence. Mental struggles. Read till the end! I swear you come to your senses.
I wasnât expecting to be walking outside a government building around six pm, but here I was.
Files in my hands, I was trying to my best to be an ideal intern. All I had to do was transfer some papers and Iâd be done for the day. So thatâs what I did.
I handed the papers to a woman in the lobby, and opted to go through the building to the parking lot. The thing is Iâm not great at remembering directions. The nice lady gave me clear instructions that seem to evaporate in my head the moment I began walking away.
I was a senior in college. Just trying to get through my internship hoping to get a job as a secretary or some sh*t.
I was interning for an office job here at a government building. I had no idea about any bad apples employed there until that day.
I mustâve taken a wrong turn. My introversion didnât want to ask for directions, and my extroversion decided to find a way out myself.
I turned into a hallway, andâ hardly stopping myselfâ almost slammed into a man.
âSorry,â I said, ducking towards the other side of the hall.
The apology wasnât enough for him, apparently. âWatch where youâre going-!â He barked. It did make me flinch, Iâll admit.
I stopped in my tracks, almost feeling a little annoyed. Yeah⌠I apologized. What happened to manners?
I turned to the man, taking in his appearance. Tall, a little brutish. I caught sight of some pins that no doubt meant something important. Damn. If this guy is of some significance, maybe I shouldâve keep my mouth shut. At least, thatâs what I thought.
I turned to walk away still a little put off. Then I felt his hand clasp around my wrist and yank me backwards.
I did yelp, and curse at himâ heat of the moment sort of a thing
âShow some respect, b*tch,â he breathed. His breath smelt like smoke. Very unpleasant.
I wiggled away from him, slamming my heel into his toe. The officer raised his hand to grab me, and I was prepared with a mouthful of profanity and slander butâŚ
Before I could get in another word, I pressed into something warm and hard. Really solid. I stumbled forward.
Thatâs when I saw him.
I had to crane my neck up/down (your height) to really look at him. Mustâve been 6â2. Glasses. Not the neatest hair, but it was still elegant.
An angel? A demon? He looked like both. He sort of was.
The new stranger sort ofâ completely- ignored me. I swallowed a thick lump in my throat. It was partially out of nervousness, but I was also swallowing down a million insults.
He stared at the officer. An expression of anger, possibly indifference.
That was all he said. Three words. I walked away down the hall, a little confused. Words were still caught in my throat that would never get out.
The hallway didnât lead outside. There were familiar rooms, though. I could find my way out, but I hesitated.
I wanted to wait. I wanted to thank that man for⌠sort of stepping in. At least, I think thatâs what he did. It didnât matter though. I stood idly against the wall, waiting for the older man to reappear.
When he did, he looked different. He had more purpose to his walk, and he had some papers in his hand. I noticed, too, that his hands were red.
âS-Sirâ?â Since when did I stammer? Social anxiety was finally creeping in? I thought I was over this.
He stopped, casting a sharp glance over at me. His hardened features and cold look softened a bit. It wasnât very noticeable, and maybe I was just searching for some sort of reaction.
His glasses glinted and he was silent.
âThank you. For stepping in back there,â I finished. My cheeks felt warm.
He kept quiet. The corners of his lips perked upward a little. Barely at all. He didnât nod, didnât hum in acknowledgment. He just turned and kept walking.
To me, nothing could have been more attractive.
I spent the rest of the night eating, getting ready for the next day, and thinking about that encounter. Sure, I only saw the guy for a minute or two at most, but that was the most exciting thing that had happened to me all month. No, I didnât like being grabbed or having to mouth off my superior who Iâd never met. But that man⌠the one with the nice hair and the glasses⌠he was just one of those guys. Not overly handsome, but not bad to look at. The kind of person who gets stapled into your mind.
I wondered what he was doing there in the first place. How old was he.
More questions kept flooding my head the next day and the day after that. Actually, this was becoming a problem. I couldnât get the guy out of my mind and I had no idea why.
Sogin High School. I graduated from there and am a certified alumni.
I was headed there, probably four days after the incident. Normally I wouldnât spent my free day visiting my old school, but a teacher had called me up and asked me to come. I decided to humor her. She had been a nice teacher anyways.
The campus was still the same. The elitists ran rampant, like always. I sort of felt sorry for the poor children stuck in their immature high school years. I had bigger problems.
I was still immature too I guess. My thoughts would wander to the man every now and then. I looked for him in crowds. Part of me felt disappointed about his seeming disregard for me and my gratitude.
I looked for his face amongst the crowd of high schoolers. Passing by the old classrooms and intermingling with my underclassman felt weird. I kept close to my teacher pal, but ended up wandering off.
âIt was nice to see you, (Y/N),â she had said. It had come as a surprise to her to see me as a twenty-three-year old. She was probably expecting my face to be more/less mature (any baby faced readers out there??)
âYou too, Ms Han,â I answered. I meant it, but being around her warm and smiley face was giving me painful flashbacks to my acne-prone days, and her personality was a little stuffy after a while. It was nice to escape.
I walked towards some of my old classrooms. As I peered into a classroom, I caught sight of a lone girl. A sophomore- carrying way more books than she could handle.
Oh school projects. I didnât miss those at all.
I was always awkward about offering help, especially to strangers. My internship was prompting me to step out of my shell though.
âUh⌠do you need some help?â I called. She looked up at me. She seemed familiar, features graceful and delicate. Iâd never met her before though.
Her lips parted as she nodded. Iâm guessing it was obvious that I was an alumni.
âYesâ please!â
I walked into the classroom fully, approaching her desk that was completely emerged in the sunlight. If I remembered correctly, Iâd say my desk was two seats behind hers.
I scooped up half of her heaping books. the girl couldnât even fit them all in her backpack. This must be some research project.
âIâm (Y/N), by the way,â I offered. She staggered upright with the rest of the books in hand.
âOh⌠and Iâm Minji Kim. Nice to meet you,â she replied, a little breathless. She added a small thank you, which I thought was sweet.
She walked home. I accompanied her. I wasnât in any hurry to get back to my college dorm and I had already said my goodbyes to my old teacher, Ms Han. We walked down a few blocks, exchanging a few words. I handed her the rest of her books as soon as her house was in sight.
âThanks for your help!â She gushed. Nice girl.
I waved it off and began to turn around, but I stopped.
Thatâs when I saw him again.
This time in casual clothes, peering out of one of the houses, looking a little damp and rumpled, but relaxed. It caught me off guardâ all I could do was stare wordlessly and question every life decision I ever made.
He called for Minji to come inside (so they knew each other-?), and even waved at me. He didnât even recognize me⌠I donât think.
I waved back. A feeling of warmth pounded through my body and filled my cheeks.
The walk back to the school parking lot was very disoriented. I stumbled over my shoes and almost crashed into a cyclist. I wasnât expecting to see him again. It was a really odd coincidence. Too odd for me. It didnât sit well in my stomach.
My inner musings about the man, who I now dubbed Mr Kim, became more frequent. I had seen him twice. It felt like having an airport crush sort of. Only you booked the same hotel as your airport crush, or something similar.
It plagued me to the point that, the next day at my internship, I asked about him. He mustâve been at the office for one reason or another. It was possible that he worked there.
âHey⌠Chae-Won?â I asked my mentor who was way too invested in reapplying her lipstick. She glanced over at me and absently straightened some papers, still preening at herself in the reflection of her computer screen.
âWas there a Mr Kim visiting last week?â I began. I cringed in realization that Kim is a very common last name.
Something flashed over her face. âUh, there was an incident with a Mr Kim, if thatâs what you mean. I think you were headed home though.â
âDoes he work here?â I pressed.
âNo? Why do you ask?â
I resorted to telling her there was no reason.
It wasnât as if he was plaguing my thoughts. I donât know why he bothered me so much. I started to drop it a little. Life moves on. I wasnât obsessed.
I steamed some rice that night and binged a drama. Anything to get my mind off âMr Kimâ was a relief. He was giving me a headache, and at the same time making me hot in the face.
I kept wondering how old he was. He was older. He was courser and colder. He had stepped into a very minor interaction at my intern workplace. There was nothing notable about what he did.
But still bothered me though. He hadnât accepted my thanks, not really. I had seen a reaction, but a very slight one.
I tried to recall how his voice sounded as I clumsily shoved a mouthful of rice into my mouth. The heat burned the roof of my mouth, actually, and I had to spit it out. My daydreams about that guy were actually interfering with my eating habits, which wasnât good.
Anyway- he had only said three words to me, tops. You should go. It was enough to make my heartbeat pick up pace.
I was actually a little worried, at that point. If this guy was going to haunt my thoughts until he accepted the damn âthank you,â then I was going to have to see him and make him accept it.
I ended up back in the sophomore classroom.
âCan I ask you something?â I said suddenly.
This conversation was going to be a little awkward. I could feel my embarrassment already creeping in. This wasnât going to blow over well.
Minji blinked, nodding her head.
âHow old is uh⌠Mr Kim?â
That already wasnât a good sign. It should have been a red flag. Alarms should have been blaring in my head, but they werenât. My infatuation was still growing. Color was visible in my neck.
I nodded, leaning forward onto my desk.
âHeâs forty nine Iâm pretty sure. We donât really talk about itâŚâ Minji answers. I can tell she doesnât have an endless amount of friends. Most people wouldnât answer that weird question anyway. Minji was just more naĂŻve than most people?
âOh,â I breathed. I donât find his age attractive. I didnât find it bothersome either. Why did I feel so bashful? I had barely seen him.
In my head, I knew I would chose a forty nine year old over any guy my age.
âHow old are you?â Minji asked. It startled me.
âTwenty three. You?â
âEighteen.â
Our conversation continued. My mind wandered elsewhere, which didnât surprise me anymore. I tuned into Minji whenever possible. I was developing some weird ignoring disorder or something.
She asked me if I could walk home with her and I agreed.
My pulse thrummed audibly in my ears. I realized I really admired the way his glasses framed his face.
âThis is (Y/N) (L/N). Sheâs an alumni from my school,â Minji announced. She seemed a little bashful about introducing me to her dad.
It should have been off-putting, but it wasnât really. I could see his eyes gloss over with familiarity. Thereâs a face everyone can pull when they recognize a stranger. A subtle shift of acknowledgement; hey, Iâve seen you before.
He said hullo. I could tell he wasnât super talkative. It didnât really surprise me, actually. He didnât seem like the loud type.
I said hello back. I was completely aware of the color in my cheeks. My goodbye was short and brisk, but neither Kim seemed to mind.
That walk back to the car was filled with more uncertainty. Why hadnât I thanked him? I wasnât sure. I wanted an excuse to see him again, I guess.
I was attracted to the demeanor. The certainty. The subtle shift in personality. The damnable glasses and the damnable hair.
Forty nine didnât register in my head as too old. All I could think about was how he looked less like a demon and more like an angel now. My heart hammered pathetically in my chest.
The weekend came and went. I busied myself with other things, even hung out with my dorm mates at a party. I told one of them about my first encounter with Mr Kim⌠but kept the Minji-meetings to myself. It was a coincidence, but I had a feeling they wouldnât understand.
âDidnât your coworker say Mr Kim was in an incident?â They asked, taking a slow sip from their Bloody Mary.
It didnât dawn on me that I had already mentioned that to them. Sheepishness washed over me. But after I recovered from my embarrassment I came to realize the weight to their words. Thatâs right⌠Chae-Won had mentioned an incident involving Mr Kim. I had been too embarrassed and distracted to ask for elaboration.
âYeah, she did,â I nodded slowly, leaning my head against the couch we sat on. My friend raised an eyebrow and cocked their head.
âCouldnât that be a bad thing?â They ask.
I keep my lips sealed. A blush rises to my cheeks. I hadnât thought of that. Even in my delusional state, I didnât even consider him causing a scene over me. There had to be some reason he was at the office, and there had to be some reason his hands were red when he left. I only remembered that then at the party.
Itâs funny how details slip from your mind for a while until you suddenly remember them. I decided to ask Chae-Won about the incident.
I hadnât encountered my superior since that day. He was a military officer- so it wasnât unusual for people like him to frequent the building. That man in particular, though, had been absent. I wouldnât be surprised if he was on Mr Kimâs bad side though. He had gotten on mine.
At the office, while my mentor was patiently explaining how to use a certain filing system in the computer, I couldnât help but stare down at my wrist. There was no mark from where the officer grabbed me. I had reported it though.
As Chae-Won droned on, I had trouble focusing on her words. They slipped through her lips and seemed to fade into the background.
âUh, Chae-WonâŚâ
âWere you paying attention?â She snapped. I felt guilt crawling into my stomach.
âIâ you sort of lost me. Sorry.â
She sighed. A break; thatâs what she suggested. I closed my eyes and kneaded my forehead. This internship wasnât the most interesting thing ever.
âI heard you were involved in the little scrap the other week.â Chae-Wonâs voice prodded me out of my trance. I looked up at her with wide eyes.
âYou must still be shaken up about it, huh?â She asks.
Thereâs a hint of concern in her eyes, but I get the feeling that whatever I tell her will just give her gossiping rights more than anything.
âYeah. I still donât understand what happened in the âscrapâ though,â I use air quotations to emphasize my point. âDid Mr Kim say something to the officer?â
âOfficer Baek? Yeah? He was in the ER. Youâre lucky you werenât hurt!â
My stomach didnât plummet. The color didnât drain from my face. My eyes didnât widen. Instead, my heartbeat picked up. A lot. An intense heat overflowed my body.
Kim walked away. I thanked him⌠and he walked away.
Three words echod in my head. âYou should go.â
The age gap never resonated as a problem to me. All that mattered was that I backed into a demonic-angel- pressed against his tall and sturdy form- and he told me to go.
When I thanked him he hardly batted an eye. He walked away.
That was attractive to me.
I texted Minji if I could see her the next day. I figured that I could tell her about meeting her dad already. Again, the thought of mg underclassman being the daughter of my recent obsession didnât bother me. I was even bold enough to admit it was an obsession, but only to myself.
She replied with a nice confirmation text and that was that. I crawled into the covers that night and braced myself for the next day. The normal routine. My eyes roamed across the room as my imagination ran wild.
I wondered what kind of argument Mr Kim had gotten into with officer⌠Baek? Officer Baek. What had happened. What kind of man was Mr Kim, besides attractive.
I noted that I found his attitude and the way he carried himself attractive. Within our brief encounters, he always remained quiet and curt. Polite around Minji, of course. I guess my daydreams had sort of drifted off track.
I wondered what kind of job he had. Maybe a security officer? Or maybe something else⌠a little more ordinary. I couldnât make up my mind, so I fell asleep.
As soon as my classes were over, I got into my car and started driving towards my old school. Rain started pattering on my windshield. I always did love a dramatic atmosphere. Now no one could judge me for playing my bad*as Spotify playlist on the way over.
I realized that Minji probably wasnât out of school yet, which caused my stomach to jolt. I told her Iâd meet her at her place. I could only hope she had an umbrella.
As much as my heart throbbed at the thought of seeing Mr Kim a little early, my intrusive anxious thoughts told me to go get some coffee. A nice steamy drink to help warm my cold feet.
When I pulled into the drive thru for a coffee shop I ended up ordering three drinks subconsciously. It was probably my intern instincts kicking in. I had grown used to running out for really unnecessary coffee orders. My autopilot brain just told me to order some for the people I was seeing.
I spewed out some nonsense I thought Minji might like. My face felt warmer as I ordered something more simple and straightforward for Mr Kim.
The drinks steamed in the cup holder as I drove towards their house.
I almost drove right by, but I ended up pulling over and rolling down my window.
What a good alumni I am, right?! The kid was walking without an umbrella, trying to shield herself with her backpack. As soon as she got in the car I shoved the drink into her hands.
She apologized for being so imprudent or some sh*t. I didnât care. I was just glad I ran into her. Anyway, I wasnât about to scold her. That was never in the job description.
âDo you want me to turn the heat on?â
âT-Thatâs okay! Thank you. Iâll just shower at home,â she gushed, pulling her lips away from the cup. I was kinda proud of myself for picking a drink she liked.
I still felt apprehensive and turned on the heater anyway. I only realized when we got there that I was going to have to be with Mr Kim alone. While Minji was in the shower, that is.
Actually, speak of the devil, Mr Kim was about to pick Minji up. He looked a little frantic, but obviously calmed down as soon as we stepped out of the car. I was a little ashamed of myself for noticing the relaxation in his stuff shoulders when he caught sight of her. By no means was I intentionally checking him out; but his hair was looking nice today.
âThanks (Y/N). Iâll be quick!â Minji called. Her feet padded hurriedly between her room and the bathroom.
It left me awkwardly standing in the entry hall with the two coffees in hand. Mr Kim closed and locked the door behind us. It shouldnât have made my face heat up.
I would have started the conversation, but I followed Mr Kim into the kitchen and offered him the coffee instead. I could tell that he wanted to say something anyway.
My chest felt really tight. I was going to make him accept my thanks.
âMinji tells me youâre a senior,â he offered, stirring some cream into his coffee. Honestly that was a little uncalled for. The cream, I mean. Who wouldâve thoughtâŚ
âThatâs right,â I replied. My face felt warmer than usual. My blush was an unwarranted violation of the subtly-code.
âIâm interning right now at a government office. Itâs not super interesting, but I wanna help improve the system eventually. Especially with the juvenile prison situation.â
Kim nodded as he replaced the lid on the coffee. I took a sip from my (warm drink) and looked down at the table.
When I looked at Mr Kim, I realized he looked really passive. There wasnât a trace of embarrassment on his face. I was the only one whose cheeks were burning.
He hummed. âAnd you applied for college fresh out of high school?â
I nodded.
âMhm. I changed my major after the first year. Started interning this year,â I let out an attempt at an easy-going chuckle.
âItâs a weird coincidence though. Seeing you at the office, and then meeting your daughter.â
I stared down at my hands, feeling more of a burn in my face. A little disappointment crept into my chest. I was getting around to thanking him again⌠but he still seemed altogether dispassionate. Would this really make the haunting thoughts and guilt go away?
Actually, I was more concerned with the fact that I was really attracted to him. He didnât seem to give a damn about me.
If I would have looked up, Iâd have caught sight of a very suspicious Mr Kim.
âYes, that was⌠a weird coincidence,â he murmured.
I smiled at the sound of his voice. It had been echoing in my head on-and-off for the past few weeks. You should go. My new favorite phraseâ for no special reason at all.
âMr Kim,â I began. My voice was a little feeble. âI wanted to thank you again, actually. I donât usually get into encounters like that so⌠if you hadnât been there⌠something worse mightâve happened.â
His gaze flickered down to my wrist, and all he did was nod. I could sense he wasnât really accepting it now either. Maybe he was just that kind of guy.
âWell, I think you couldâve handled yourself,â was all he said.
It was definitely an unusual sight. A twenty-three-year-old, wide eyed, staring at a man twice her age with in awe. Eyes not glancing where they shouldnât, content to stare at his impassive expression. Normal college students donât find themselves infatuated with a man theyâve barely met. And there I was.
Minji came into the kitchen, fully dressed. That was the end of me and Mr Kimâs conversation.
That night, our conversation haunted me. It had nothing to do with our talk and everything to do with the look he had given me. Disinterested⌠maybe? He was polite and listened respectfully to what I was saying, but I got the feeling like something was off.
I was more attentive to him. My cheeks grew rosy at his words. My expression struggled to maintain impassive politeness and not break into a bashful smile. Mr Kim didnât seem to have that trouble at all.
He wasnât as interested in me as I was in him. I thought over what our conversation mightâve looked like to a bystander.
A middle aged man, good-looking and soft spoken, talking with me. A college senior wearing a hoodie and drinking her beverage. A young college student. A stable, capable older man.
I guess the scene wasnât as romantic as I thought. But to me, in the heat of the moment, my chest felt like warm and my stomach felt light. I still felt the warm kiss of a blush at the thought of Kim.
However⌠I began to doubt something. I wondered dubiously if Mr Kim would ever feel the same level of attraction.
I reasoned he probably wouldnât.
Tears trailed down my face in frustration; I was pretty mad at myself for being so stupid. Of course he wouldnât. But I couldnât help it. I was so⌠so attracted to him.
That night I tossed and turned in bed, wishing I had just asked for directions that fateful day two weeks ago.
Even as I regretted the incident and running into Kim, my face still felt hot at the thought of me stumbling backwards into him. I felt jittery recalling his voice. Thatâs what was so damnable about the situation. I wasnât normally so easily infatuated or irrational. Mr Kim did something different to me.
Something that, disgustingly enough, didnât make me alarmed about the age difference. It didnât matter to me, even though it normally would. Iâd be disgusted in myself if it were any other person. But it wasnât any other person.
I fell asleep with a lot of things on my mind.
Kim was suspicious. He didnât like coincidences, especially not coincidences that tied in with the little mission he was on two weeks ago.
Minji was happy to have a new friend, especially an older figure in her life. That made Kim hesitate to follow after (Y/N). Maybe he was being overprotective, but that was sort of the norm nowadays.
He just decided to dig a little deeper into her work. Why was she interning? Was her story legit? Was it an all coincidence? She seemed like a good kid, but was she really?
He didnât know. He needed to be sure.
I was almost finished with my internship shift. My feet ached and my back was sore. I had just finished a delivery and was once again heading to my car. There was intense dĂŠjĂ vu.
I knew my way to the parking lot from inside the building now. I passed by familiar hallways and unfamiliar ones. The footsteps that echoed behind me didnât bother me; everyone had somewhere they needed to be.
I passed by a dozen people until I reached outside. The thing is, there were a pair of footsteps that had been ghosting me for a while, and I was getting uneasy. A little weirded out, I glanced behind me.
I recognized the guy. He had noticeable stitches over his eye and a bandage taped to his ear, but it was definitely Officer Baek. I felt a gradual drop to my confidence.
Just donât bump into him and youâll be fine.
I crossed the street and into the parking complex and he continued in the same direction. Paranoid, I took an abrupt turn and went in between some cars.
In my phone I scrolled through my contacts, ready to call my roommate and ask them to meet me somewhere close. My foot skidded and I slammed forward into someone. Nope. Nah. Nuh uh.
How the hell was my luck so bad? I felt dizzy and irritable looking up at the Officer who waited for me at the other end of the cars.
âWhat the hell?â Did slip past my filter, happily enough.
He glared down (idc how tall you are he is taller.) at me. âThis is my car. Shouldnât you be going to yours?â
I found it unbelievable that this was his car, but it actually wasnât surprising seeing as I was really bad at decision making and my luck had run out just now.
âYou did make this easier though. I was gonna ask you about Code 66.â
âThe computer filing program?â I countered dryly. Iâm pretty sure that the system only went up to thirty-
âKim! He goes by Kim. How do you know him? Cuz you two seem pretty close nowâŚâ
Officer Baek took another step closer and I took two backward. Creep. I reached for my purse and prepared to squirt some perfume in his eyes.
The mention of Mr Kim rolled right over me. I wasnât worrying about my silly infatuation, just surviving this encounter. Thank you very much.
âI met him the day you grabbed me. Thereâs not much of a connection, and I donât have to answer your questions,â I said steadily. Hooray for my returned confidence. âGoodbye sir.â
I heard him open his car door and figured that was the end of it. But then⌠of courseâŚ
I yelped as my wrist was yanked backwards. Here comes the perfume and a kick to the crotch-
My heart pattered angrily against my ribs like a caged bird. Alerts sounded in my head as he tried shoving me in the car. I thrashed and cursed and yelled for help, dizzied as he slammed my head against the door.
The car driver door opened on its own and slammed into Officer Baek, smashing him against the next car. My arm was released.
I looked around sporadically for the source, and of course found my liberator. Ironically, another swell of dĂŠjĂ vu flooded my head.
Kim jumped out of the car, and my heart skipped a beat. Literally. I think I mustâve been scared. (Shocker.)
I numbly ran to my car as instructed. His words were muffled and fuzzy in my head.
I waited, craning my neck to catch sight of them. Blood spurted onto the cars nearby and I heard glass break more than once.
I thought about something as I waited, hands clutching my steering wheel nervously. I thought about what the hell was going on over there. What did Mr Kim do for a living? Should I be concerned about him? Whatâs code 66?
I also thought about his disinterest in me⌠how he didnât seem interested in a college student at all. Maybe Officer Baek hit my head a little harder than I thought, but my mind was suddenly a little clearer. Mr Kim was older than me. Too much older than me.
But my stomach still squirmed, and my cheeks still felt warm. I would never get what I wanted, and it made my eyes sting. I had been so stupid. But I still wanted what I couldnât have.
When Kim found me in my car, he asked if I was okay. I blurted out the only thing that came to mind.
He had just fought off an officer. It was the most brutal thing I had partially witnessed, and no doubt my expression showed how mortified I was.
But I said what was on my mind anyway.
âMr Kim!â If I canât have him⌠âPlease! Teach me how to fight! B-Be my master!â
This is the next best thing.
