I gotta do this in every new fandom I enter, so…
✨PHM (specifically Stratt’s Vat) INCORRECT QUOTES ✨
*stupid shit my friends and I say edition*
Grace, writing something down: Okay, Ilyukhina wants cocaine for her birthday…
Grace: No one in this family will let me break the law :(
Yáo, rubbing his temples while trying to focus on the road: Put. The pigeon. Back.
Ilyukhina, from the backseat: I’m gonna roll down the window and try to catch a seagull!
Stratt, shrugging: Sometimes you’ve just gotta try it and see what happens.
Leclerc, through tears: You knew what would happen! It blew up!
Stratt: Damn it, can I not say anything with the word straight in it?
Ilyukhina: No! I’m a lesbian with a terrible sense of humor :D
Grace: Imagine the wire dilemma, where you’re trying to figure out which color wire to cut to diffuse the bomb, but you’re completely colorblind.
Stratt: Get someone who isn’t colorblind to cut the wires.
Grace: Like there’s no one else there and they’re on the phone with someone.
Stratt: Objectively, the wire dilemma you’re describing needs someone who knows the ins and outs of the bomb well enough to know which to cut, so they’ll know the position of the wire to cut.
Grace: Can you just let me have fun?
Shapiro: Do you ever think about how many songs are secretly about sex?
Grace: Wha- no? But now I am.
Stratt, pointing a threatening finger at Grace and Carl: Do not make more children while I’m out.
*flight crew + Grace, driving back from getting bubble tea*
Grace: I’m fine, I just choked on a boba. I wasn’t expecting it.
Ilyukhina: How? You are drinking boba tea!
Grace, defensively: Well, you have to suck really hard to get it up!
Grace: Shut up! God, there’s another one stuck. I’m just gonna-mmm.
Dubois: You’re just going to what?
Grace, reluctantly: I was gonna say suck it up.
Shapiro, fully cracking up by now: You’re making this so easy for me-
Ilyukhina, also grinning: Maybe if you suck on it with your tongue in the way…
Ilyukhina, innocently: What? I was just giving detailed explanation of how you suck it.
Yáo, from the front seat: I’m going to crash this fucking car.
Ilyukhina, to Stratt: I’d jump in front of a gun for you <3
Stratt, with a straight face: Please don’t. I’d move out of the way and you’d just get shot like an idiot.
Ilyukhina, happily singing: We’re going on a trip, in our favorite rocket ship-
Grace, dead serious: I will jump off.
Grace, reading a label: Give 1.5 cap…cap…caplets with breakfast.
Shapiro: Uh, are you having a stroke?
Grace: Usually medicine bottles say capsules OR tablets. This one says caplets. I thought I was going nuts.
Stratt, irritated from a stepladder: You don’t have to be straight, the clock has to be straight.
Grace: Well that’s rude. The clock can be whatever it wants to be.
Ilyukhina, slamming her palms down on the table: LET THE CLOCK LOVE WHO IT WANTS TO LOVE!
Grace: What if rocks are secretly alive and have just been, like, hibernating this whole time?
Dubois: Okay, neither of us is getting any work done right now.
Grace, thoughtfully: Like a really, really long hibernation.