Muppet of a Man

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

me when im so sweet and beautiful monday

audio: [so‿ɡ̊o ˈbæʔ t̯ʊ̆‿ðᵊ ˌǁ͜klə̃ː˧˨ə́b̚]

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.