THE RUN AND GO.

          throughout his entire life, many people had come and go. some he pushed away, some who left on their own, some he even could've fought for to make them stay, but he never cared about any of them enough to stop them from leaving. but if this conversation was leading up to selena leaving him in the dirt, he would do everything above and beyond that he could do make her stay. as she looked at him, he looked deeply into her gaze, hoping to find some sort of comfort to cure the anxiety that began feeling like a bag of cement set upon his chest. comfort was soon easy to find though. especially when he was looking for it in the brunette that stood in front of him who guided him on the right path over the years. nobody has ever meant as much to the troubled young adult as selena did. after all, in the end of it, even after everything she'd heard of him, all of the false things she'd been told about him, how she risked her job to save his life and get him out of the place where he surely would've died before he reached his late teens, she always got him to be a better version of himself. even in the years that passed that the two didn't even see each other, she still managed to push him to do the right thing. even caused him to spare a few lives of innocent women who wandered into the woods simply because they reminded him of HER.       being with her, just as simple as her sitting in his lap was unlike anything he'd ever endured. he never got an intimate experience. he'd never even gotten a hug from either of his parents as a child. maybe that was why he was so good at isolating himself, his parents already gave him a head start on doing so. but, surely if anyone could lower his walls and make him see that there's SOMETHING worth living for  .  .  .  that there's something in the world to have FAITH in, it was her. he likes to think that if someone like her had come along sooner, he could be different. he wouldn't have to be hiding in an abandoned, off-the-grid horror home, he'd be able to show his FACE, at least somewhat. but if someone else coming along before her meant he wouldn't never MET her, he didn't want that. he'd stick with the life he was now living and be more than content doing so. as he feels her hand  ( much softer than his own )  against his skin, he listened intently as she spoke. not only because he always found comfort in the sound of her voice, but he always felt like everything that came out of her mouth was worth having his full attention. she could tell him the smallest, most pointless sentence, and she'd still have his undivided attention because he knows she would give him the same. and, she has, many times while being his doctor. hearing her say that he was DIFFERENT in nothing but a good way caused a heaviness in his chest, but it was more of a comforting weight than anxiety filled. he never thought he'd hear any words like that from ANYONE. after all, he was told his entire life that he's never going to have anything good in life BECAUSE he was different. all he could do was nod his head, not sure what words he'd use to thank her, assuming that's what he should do  .  .  .  right  ?  he has NO idea. he's never been in this situation before. rubbing the lower part of her back lovingly with his thumb, his brows raised slightly as she said she could show him. him being the intimately clueless male he is, he assumed they were about to stand up, but was surprised as she lent into meet her lips on his. being more surprised than anything at the beginning, it didn't take him long to return the kiss. his hand that was on her waist gripped just a slight tighter as his free hand moved to rest on her thigh. he had no idea was he was doing, he wasn't even sure if what he was doing was RIGHT. but it felt right, and that was what mattered to him.

give this post a like and i’ll reply to one or two of ur starters !

        every   so   often,   a   random   person   would   wander   into   the   forest   surrounding   his   home   without   knowing   just   who  claimed   the   area   and   that   always   led   up   to   this.   him   having   someone   tightly   secured   in   a   chair   so   they   can’t   escape,   and   him   towering   over   them   at   six   foot   two   waiting   for   them   to   regain   consciousness   after   he’d   knocked   them   out   with   a   rock   he’d   found   on   the   ground.      “   glad   to   see   you’re   awake.   ”     he   states,   taking   a   seat   before   them   while   keeping   his   weapon   visible,   hoping   that   would   get   the   point   across   to   not   attempt   anything   regrettable.      “   i   thought   i   killed   you   for   a   second   there.   that   would’ve   been   a   shame.   i   wasn’t   even   TRYING.   ”

          he knew what people said about him and he knew how people felt about him. he knew the opinions they had about what he's done and he knew their opinions on what SHOULD'VE been done with him when they found him. but the only persons opinions that ever mattered to him weren't even his own, they were selenas. what she thought about him impacted him. she knew he could be a better person and that made him want to be a better person. he was used to letting people down, after all he was sure he any of his family he had down when his eleven year old face was all over the newspapers being titled a MURDERER. but if anyone had the power to help him change himself, he knew it was her. every day he was grateful that he let her into a part of him that nobody has ever seen. he was even more grateful that she wanted to believe in him, that she DID believe he was a good person, despite all he’s done. he often thinks his life would've been different, had he not grown up in the environment that he did, but as long as selena was in his life, this was a life he didn't mind living. looking down at her in his lap, while his fingers continued to fiddle with strands of hair, he shrugged his shoulders a little bit.   " i don't know. i was sick for a little while. there was a good week or so where i couldn't get on my own feet, but i'm okay now. "   at least he thinks he is. his nausea's gone away since, and he doesn't get as painful migraines as he used to being locked away, but most of all, he doesn't feel groggy anymore. he feels like he can function, he doesn't feel WEAK anymore, and that's one of his favorite parts of being free.           if there was anybody in the world who could change his ways, it was the young woman in front of him, who he admired more than he ever thought was possible. all he knew his entire life was hate. his parents hating him, him hating them, hating the asylum and hating the people who worked there. she was the FIRST person who made him feel any emotion other than HATE. that's why he grew on her in their first session. he trusted her with the only private thing that he had left, his thoughts. and she never shut him down like the others did. never told him he was being dramatic, or looking at things the wrong way. most of all she never told him that he was  WRONG  for anything he's done, and that meant more to him than he'd ever be able to tell her. he never thought about change. not because he's never wanted to change, but because he's known this lifestyle so long that he's afraid to live any other way. the thought of functioning like a normal human being gives him anxiety. only because he's never BEEN TREATED like a normal human being. he was always treated as a monster who needed to be chained up and couldn't even interact with other patients. he remembered the anger he felt the morning of their first session. he didn't want another shrink to come in and tell him that he needs to think long and hard about what he's done and that he needs to see that it wasn't okay. in his mind, it was okay. it would ALWAYS be okay. but that anger quickly faded once he realized how different she was. he knew he needed her in his life and letting her in was the best thing he's ever done for himself. especially after she assisted him in his escape by merely giving him a weapon, she gave him a way out, and not only does he feel like he owes her because she saved his life, he wants to keep her around because he's never felt as safe as he does around her. sure, he knows he's capable of taking care of himself, but the emotional and mental support that she gives him is what he's lacked his entire life. now that he has it, he doesn't want to lose it. with a nod of his head and an awfully soft caressing of his thumb on her cheek, he nods his head.    " if it ever comes to that, i will find you, again. and i'll continue to find you as long as i need to. "    he manages to snake an arm around her waist as she sits up slightly. never in his life has he been so keen on physical contact, but just as everything else, with her it was different. he sees her fidgeting with her necklace, it was one of the first things he noticed at their appointment. he found it similar to the weak necklace he used to wear in the asylum and often chewed on while he was in his anxious state. but just like the book she brought him that one time, the guards took his necklace away too. he actually wishes he had it right now, as she trails off with her words. he knows it's different, but the way he assumes she means is in a bad way. now he was questioning himself. what's been said to her ?  was it me ?  looking down at his own hands, it seems the two of them looked up at one another at the same time. attempting to swallow the anxious lump that's formed in his throat, another new thing that's never happened until he was in her presence, he inhaled a deep breath and prepared himself for the worst to come.    " right   . . .   i remember. "    he comments, now biting down on his lesser lip and picking at the dry skin with his teeth, a nervous habit he obtained while locked away.    " what changed ? "   he questions, somehow managing to maintain eye contact through all of his current anxiety.    " did  . . .  i  . . .  do something to upset you ? "  typically, he wouldn’t care, but look who he’s talking to right now.. of  COURSE  he cares.   " whatever it is  . . .  i-i can fix it ? "    in his mind, he assumes she's about to tell him the familiar words he's heard time and time again. whether it be we won't be seeing each other anymore, or that she has nothing left to offer him, he wasn't prepared for it another time. especially not coming from her.

          given   the   male’s   established   relationship   with   insomnia,   it   was   no   surprise   he   was   awake   at   three   in   the   morning.   he's   accustomed   to   the   sleepless   nights,   they've   been   a   part   of   his   routine   since   he   was   a   child,   the   only   difference   now   compared   to   then   is   that   he   doesn't   mind   them   as   much   with   margarethe   by   his   side.   both   literally   and   figuratively.   even   if   she's   asleep   when   he's   not     (   similar   to   right   now   )     he   knows   that   she's   there,   and   she   still   manages   to   bring   him   a   sense   of   comfort   even   in   her   sleep.   he's   suddenly   pulled   from   his   train   of   thought   and   brought   back   to   reality   once   he   notices   her   moving   an   awful   lot   for   being   asleep.   he   watches   her   closely   for   a   few   moments,   only   moving   into   action   once   he   realizes   just   whats   going   on.   she's   having   a   nightmare.   yet,   another   thing   he's   all   too   familiar   with   due   to   his   own   run   ins   with   them.   moving   from   his   previous   position     (   legs   hung   over   the   edge   of   the   bed   &   elbows   rested   on   his   knees.   )     he   rolls   over   onto   his   side,   now   laying   behind   margarethe.   resting   his   hand   on   her   hip,   he   shook   her   gently   while   his   other   hand   rubbed   her   back.      "   hey   .  .  .   wake   up.   "   he   whispers   softly.   shaking   her   as   gently   as   he   can   but   making   sure   he   shakes   her   just   enough   to   pull   her   out   of   it.   now   rubbing   her   side   lovingly   with   his   hand,   he   leans   down   on   his   elbow   closer   to   her.      "   you   were   having   a   nightmare,   but   you're   alright,   i   promise.   "  

          at   first,   the   other   females   words    c o n f u s e    her   more   than   they   did   assure   her.   only   because   she   recognizes   that   for   the   first   time,   someones   actually   said   something   .   .   .   nice   to   her   ?   though   she   doesn't   AGREE   with   it,   she   appreciates   it.     "   i   used   to   .   .   .   kind   of.   but   now   ?   i   do   not.   but,   thank   you   for   saying   that.   "      she   isn’t   sure   how   compliments  work,   she’s   never   gotten   one   until   now,   but   it   only   seems   fair   that  she   return   a   compliment,   right   ?      “   i   like   your   cheek   .   .   .   things.  ”      that’s   her   way   of   saying   dimples   without   knowing   they’re   called   dimples.      “   they’re   very   nice.   “

   "  i  like  the  mask  because  it  HIDES  my  face.  "

female binx’s fc in his main verse: lynn gunn female binx’s fc in his masked murderer verse: tatiana maslany, more specifically, tatiana maslany as mika.