Madam Alabaster

What is aftercare:       Aftercare is a form of providing comfort for your significant other, usually one who takes on the role of a submissive. It causes them to feel safe, and secure. It is a way to reduce the chance of Subdrop. Aftercare is common in the BDSM scene due to the intensity of the scenes or actions that take place. BUT it is also extremely important in the CGL community as well. 

    Using Aftercare after a punishment has been done is really important. It shows that while you had to punish them, you still love them! You still care about them and their needs and how they are feeling.

    It is also important to know that aftercare is needed by dominants as well, this is not something that is for subs only. Be aware of how your partner is doing before and after a scene or relationship experience. It’s important to be aware of these things to avoid a potential relationship damaging experience. 

     If you ignore subdrop or the needs of your partner, it is possible for them to lose interest. They will become distant. They lose their trust in you. They will begin to find less enjoyment in entering a scene or aspects of the relationship dynamic with you. 

Examples of Aftercare: 

Snuggling

Drawing them a bubble bath

Cuddles and a movie

Gentle caressing 

Just holding your partner

Giving them a bath

A massage

Using soothing lotions on bruises/marks

A short nap with your partner

Petting/soothing with words. (i.e. good girl/good boy/ you did so well)

Giving a treat (warm milk/tea/some goldfish, etc)

Brushing their hair

Watching a movie of your partner’s choice

Reading a book to them

Kissing their marks/bruises/wounds

Letting them know they’re safe

Wrapping them in their favorite blanket with their favorite stuffed animal

Ensuring their comfort item is within reach

Treating any potential injuries/wounds

Having a deep conversation/heart to heart

Reading them a story

Preparing a meal for you and them, ensuring they eat and hydrate

Answering questions they ask -remaining calm during it.

Ask how they are feeling and checking often

Validate them

Be emotionally available and understanding

For more information about aftercare check out these following links: