Smile Like You Mean It
“Smile like you mean it”, the title of a song that my brain always has trouble interpreting. No matter how many times I listen to it, all I can think of is the name. I constantly find my face dropping. I never notice when the happy face flicks on, but the second I walk through a door or down a hallway I’m painfully aware that it’s gone. I live my life by the title of this lovely song, because if I don’t then others get worried. If I don’t “smile like I mean it” I’d be afraid others might see the emptiness inside that seeps into my face the second I’m alone. I think if I were to be honest I’d say I’m ashamed of my depression, it makes me feel like less of a person. I don’t know why I’m so different, why do I constantly feel like I don’t deserve anything I have, like I’m an imposter in my own life. The only thing that keeps me going is the fear of hurting others. I’m hanging on by a thread and it gets weaker every day. It will snap eventually, but I’ve got time till then. I don’t want others to see my fear, to know one day I’ll just be gone, and I don’t want them to live with that day hanging over them. So I get up, I go out, and I need to, I “Smile like I mean it”.
