A Side Blog

I mean, now it's had a few months to stew, it actually makes perfect sense. Solas doesn't seem to forge relationships in the same way as an elf as he did as a spirit. We know he loved Mythal and Felassan, but his relationships with both had rather different dynamics. Mythal had known him for the longest, and understood his spirit nature better than anyone. They spent a long time reflecting each others' spirits back and forth. Felassan we can assume was another Wisdom spirit (going by his eye colour), which once again tracks because Solas seems to connect with other Wisdom spirits very intensely. Nonetheless, there's a distance between them; they need each other and they share a common cause, and although Solas loved Felassan dearly, he was still able to kill him in The Masked Empire.

However, the thing that these two relationships have in common is that they both relate to Solas's spirit-self. All the dynamics are some kind of echo of how he behaved and related as a spirit. The person he is at the beginning of DAI is who he has been for a very long time. He is, despite everything, a little stagnant.

With the Inquisitor, he literally doesn't have a choice but to change, to connect not just as a spirit but as a man. Prior to that though... remember how spirits are asexual, like Cole is if you don't make him more human? Yeah. I don't doubt that Solas had physical relations with others after manifesting, but I think the feelings would've been absent as he doesn't connect romantically with them; a legacy from his spirit self, which he clings to dearly.

Weirdly enough, I think that this lack of romantic or relationship experience is what the romance in Inquisition actually hinges on. He's only able to take that chance specifically because he doesn't know what romantic love feels like. He may be a manifested Wisdom spirit, but this is something that must be experienced to be understood. He takes the chance in the end because he doesn't know how deeply it will affect him. Also as Wisdom, he can't help but be curious anyway. Clearly he underestimated how much of an impact it would have on him. He didn't expect to be known and loved so fully for who he was, after a life of being forced away from his purpose, who he truly wanted to be. To be given the space to exist as Wisdom is one thing, and certainly it would've been enough for him to maintain his love for his friends in the Inquisition alone, but to be loved for it? To be able to express these new, very earthly and yet somehow still spiritual feelings of love? Everything lining up, singing the same? Things he could never have experienced as a spirit? It's a union of the spirit and body that he likely never felt before. That has to have been overwhelming, a beautiful gift he never expected to receive. 'In all Thedas I never expected to find someone who could draw my attention from the Fade'--quite literally, 'I never thought I would want such an earthly thing'. I'm not surprised he almost threw away his plans for it. It's like a whole new world opening up.

It also makes his 'I would not have you see what I become' line more poignant. He doesn't want this beautiful, unique thing he's found to be marred by the actions he will take. He doesn't want his heart to see the wounds in his soul. So when the Inquisitor says they want to join him, it literally stuns him. When he warns them that he's got a lot of terrible things waiting for him in the Fade, it's his last, weak attempt to make them reconsider before they see the wounds on his soul laid bare. By responding that it won't be so bad if they're with him, the Inquisitor is also saying that being together will heal him, that those wounds will not be so terrible when shared.

The way the dialogue is structured also helps. It starts by you leading the conversation with questions and it’s not about saving the world or about the conflict, it’s about his own feelings (towards his elves of old and the dalish). If you throw a jab at him he doesn’t answer in spite, but in recognition. He accepts when you point out how similar he is to Elgar’nan and he admits how envious he is of Rook for having created a space and a place where they belong within their team.

“ah yes, my wife loves these. i’ll make sure to bring some to her.”

“maybe i should introduce you to my wife. you have a lot in common with her.”

“sorry i cannot stay, my wife is waiting for me.”

Thinking about how that is the regret that he tries to use as the lock on the regret prison for Rook.

Thinking about how Solas now sees himself as the reason that both of his best friends are dead.

Thinking about how Solas sees himself in Rook and therefore his own self hate gets projected onto them.

Thinking about how Rook can point out to Solas how similar he is to Elgar’nan multiple times — and at the same time Solas is thinking about how Rook reminds him of himself.

alternatively

Isathe Lavellan & Solas Curiosity & Wisdom Forgotten One & Elven God

Yeah, he made massive mistakes. He helped make the Titans tranquil, which created the Blight. But he also tried to lock it away--twice. When the Evanuris started calling themselves gods, he didn’t just go along with it—he refused. And then he spent centuries actively fighting them.

Benevolence/Love

Note: More Felassan. This version was chosen by a poll! I like to think that Felassan kept his vallaslin not because of Mythal (or her standing for love/benevolence originally) but for the love of his people (this includes the modern/future elves). Alternatives below the cut.