I Dont Actually Know

Transparency and accountability: Another thing that ties into Alhaitham feeling like a safe character is how he tries to be as upfront as possible with his motives, and is willing to apologize and change his behavior if he messes up. When involving the Traveler in the Sumeru Archon Quest, he admits that he can’t tell them everything just yet after they meet, but promises to do so later on. Not only does he follow up on that when they journey to the desert, but he also apologizes to the Traveler for involving them in such a way. Even in context, Alhaitham hadn’t actually done anything wrong, but he’s still considerate enough of the Traveler to take accountability for any hurt he might’ve caused and doesn’t hold any hard feelings they might have against them. And after that, he continues to be transparent with them, especially during the part with the Canned Knowledge capsules. And despite what everyone else thinks, he does voice his true feelings to them and gives straight answers, but for whatever reason got goaded for an “ulterior motive” when he does so during the Archon Quests (like when he says Dehya is smart enough to be a scholar or when he tells Kaveh what had happened when he’d gone to the desert, he’s 100% telling the truth but the other person thinks he’s mocking them - and those are just two of multiple instances. I love the Sumeru cast, but seriously, what was up with that?). And as we’ve seen with leveling up his friendship, he’s willing to show a more vulnerable side of himself to someone who’s earned his trust, like where he can be found outside of work or giving them a way to talk to him whenever they want with no strings attached. And he continues being this transparent even after having multiple meaningful friendships, like in Cyno’s Story Quest. Alhaitham can be trusted to tell it like it is, even in the face of people refusing to believe him for…reasons.

Genuine empathy and critical thinking/Open-Mindedness: Contrary to how he tends to be portrayed, Alhaitham never claims to understand and know everything - in fact, he tends to admit to the opposite, but even so he tends to be very accepting of it. His first two birthday chibi art captions demonstrate this - he doesn’t understand why he received gifts and birthday wishes from his friends, but thanks them and accepts them anyway. In the teapot, he says that it would be nice if everyone was able to live a life with as few annoyances as possible. One of his Imaginarium Theater lines has him looking all over the children’s books on the shelves, and voicing disapproval at how the Akademiya deems them “distractions” instead of valuable learning experiences. He’s able to understand why Dehya wouldn’t want to be a scholar, why Dori would thrive with her kind of lifestyle, and - get this - he has high praises for Nilou for building a life that lets her play to her strengths and happiness. (All of these can be found in his respective quotes for these characters). So I’m not sure how anyone ended up with the idea that he looks down on people outside of academia. Hell, he’s quite respectful of Candace and doesn’t try to talk over her or question her word while the party’s in Aaru village, respects Shani to the point he won’t let the Traveler and Cyno talk to her unless they understood where she’s coming from, and is even invested in Isak’s progress in reading and writing despite having minimal interactions with him. And in Parade of Providence, he cares more about Kaveh getting the closure he needs rather than the possibility that he got something wrong. Even outside of that, he’s always trying to learn new things and trying to expand his worldview despite already knowing so much, and admits when he can’t fully grasp something but tries to see it from another angle anyway. Just like Kaeya, he’s not bogged down by ego or trying to look like some one-note version of a “good person”, which ironically does make him more believable as one of the playable heroes of the game.

Tactfulness: Yep, I’m being 100% serious here. Despite Alhaitham caring less about what others think of him than his companions, he knows when to draw the line, especially for someone else’s sake. Like when he was interrogating Shani, we don’t see exactly what he said to her but he was still able to gain the trust of this woman who didn’t even feel safe within her own village, and only lets the Traveler talk to her when they’re willing to repeat that same level of tact. He complains about the way Kaveh decorates their home, but won’t stop him since it makes him happy. He is notably gentle when he accompanies Ilyas in his Story Quest, being encouraging where everyone else was disparaging him and even giving a considerate answer when questioned whether he’s Ilyas’s friend. I was fully expecting him to say “nope, I’m not Ilyas’s friend” but instead he points to the Traveler and Paimon and goes “they’re more his friends than I am,” retaining his honesty but not saying something that might crush morale. Hell, the entire quest is about him putting his foot down if one of his personal conflicts would end up hurting someone else. And if the Traveler decides not to tell Kaveh the truth in Parade of Providence, Alhaitham does it instead, and from Kaveh’s reaction he managed to do it in a much more reassuring way that gives Kaveh the closure he needs. Alhaitham prioritizes self-care and comfort, but would still prefer not to do it at the expense of others.

Now let’s take apart some of those “red flags”, shall we?

Apathy towards social interactions: Don’t make me tap the sign: just because someone isn’t bubbly and constantly showering you in praise doesn’t mean that they’re rude or an asshole. And to be completely blunt, Alhaitham’s apathy is actually pretty reasonable if you take a look at how he’s usually treated by the people around him. I’ve gone into that at length in the linked post, so I won’t repeat myself too much. But the way he chooses to just stay away from people who don’t like him rather than engage with them and end up aggravating the issue is a sign of maturity, the complete opposite of a red flag, and the only time he puts his foot down is when he and other people are put in danger by it. That’s a fine boundary to have, and he actually enforces it.

His attitude towards Kaveh: Everyone who thinks this is a red flag completely missed the point that Kaveh himself eventually got. Consider how Kaveh can get pretty insecure about his public image to the point of keeping his true feelings in and hiding any issues he might have. As we’ve seen with Mondstadt previously, that’s not a healthy attitude to have and can cause huge problems if allowed to go unaddressed. Before he was able to befriend people like the Traveler, Tighnari, Cyno and Faruzan, Alhaitham was the main presence in Kaveh’s life. He also happened to be someone that Kaveh could openly feel frustrated, sad, or just plain negative around, especially in public. Alhaitham doesn’t take it personally and isn’t badly affected by Kaveh’s negative emotions, so he’s actually providing a very needed safe space for Kaveh to let the mask fall and stop being a people pleaser for five minutes, and people won’t think anything of it because “oh, Alhaitham’s kinda annoying, we get it too.” And since Alhaitham can talk back if he wants to and easily leave a situation he doesn’t like, he’s not put in a compromising position by it either. Also, if Kaveh was terrified of Alhaitham and was being controlled by him, do you really think he’d be able to talk boldly at him as often as he does without retaliation, or be able to casually bring up the idea of buying new furniture for the house or decorating it the way he wants? They both have agency in this scenario, even when things were rougher for them in the beginning. And notice how when Kaveh finds other people who can see him for who he is and won’t judge him, his relationship with Alhaitham actually improved significantly because he isn’t just showing his frustrations to one person anymore. They still have disagreements here and there, but they don’t go nearly as far and are actually kinda endearing. There’s a good reason Kaveh considers Alhaitham “his home.”

Sharp Words: He has a sharp choice of words for a lot of people, it’s true. But…notice how it’s almost always people he wants to be left alone by or someone who crossed one of his boundaries. Paimon has quite a few moments like this during the Archon Quest; a lot of his snide remarks are towards her, but it’s often preceded by a) her complaining about the books he’s reading (which are important to him and none of her business) or b) her talking loudly in his face (considering he has multiple voicelines and emoticons complaining about noise or wanting quiet, plus noise cancelling headphones, this is a pretty important boundary for him). It doesn’t help that at this point, he isn’t particularly close to her or the Traveler so he’d be extra guarded around them, and he mainly starts toning this down after his own Story Quest after getting to know both of them better. He’s also pretty snide towards the mercenaries in Act I (who he wants nothing to do with and literally call him a lunatic), a bunch of Akademiya personnel (who readily assume he’s arrogant and malicious unprovoked when he wants nothing to do with them), Kaveh (who can get pushy and refused to believe him even when he told the truth a few times), Cyno (who also fell into the trap of assuming Alhaitham was mocking him before their misunderstanding was cleared up), etc. I’ve said before that Alhaitham’s attitude was a deliberate way to get people to leave him alone so that his boundaries wouldn’t be crossed, and this is what I meant by that. And considering how much he loosened up once he had friends that won’t take his quips personally, that seals it even further.

His refusal to treat the Traveler and Paimon like they’re above criticism: This one of all things is actually a very green flag. Even after becoming close to the Traveler and Paimon, he doesn’t let them off the hook and will still be blunt towards them, and doesn’t try to give them special treatment. This is often taken as a sign that he’s “mean” or “never opened up to the traveler”, but let me tell you something about friendships especially as you grow older: Even if someone’s “opened up” to you there will still be some lines that they don’t want crossed no matter how much they like you. And if they straight up tell you what those lines are, don’t take it personally - oftentimes, it actually means that they want to trust you to understand and make an effort not to cross them. Alhaitham doing this with the Traveler and Paimon means he sees them as equals, and he has this attitude with everyone else around him as well - and he’s been so good at enforcing said boundaries that it’s impossible for anyone to find him if he doesn’t want them to. And aside from that, the Traveler needs people like this in their life too, considering how they’ve still got a lot of learning and growing to do with this world around them. Along with Kaeya and Heizou, Alhaitham’s one of those characters who often checks the Traveler about jumping to conclusions and judging others too quickly based on initial biases - which I’ve mentioned is something they really need to take to heart. All three of them also do it in a blunt but tactful way that never makes it feel like they’re talking down to the Traveler. Being a good friend means that sometimes, you have to be willing to have these uncomfortable conversations with your friend if it means they won’t end up hurting themselves or others, especially if said friend is supposed to be someone who wants to make the world a better place. Alhaitham genuinely wants to see the Traveler grow and trusts them enough to keep giving them feedback on it while also being open to feedback from them, and I think it’s pretty rad.