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cyrjovie

No, I don't want a deadbolt I can unlock with an app. No, I don't want an oven I can turn on with an app. No, I don't want a washer/dryer I can control with an app. No, I don't want lights I can control with an app. I don't want blinds I can control with an app. I don't want to need an app to do everything.

I don't want a printing subscription, or a typing subscription. Hell, I'll go find an old typewriter before I buy into that sell. I'll even learn to make ink and paper.

I don't want to "subscribe and save" to something. I don't want everything to automatically renew. I most certainly do not want to give an AI assistant access to ANYTHING of mine (including my thoughts, questions, or ideas), but especially not to my bank account.

I don't want glasses that tell me what things are, I'd rather ask someone who knows. I don't want a robot to summarize the key points of my group chat, I want to talk to my friends and family for myself.

I want picnics in the park, phones put away in bags and not thought about unless they're actually needed. I want water fights in summer, not water shortages to feed the machine. I want a colorful house, not a smart one. I want care, not convenience.

If one day Microsoft locks me out of my laptop because I refuse to pay for a subscription, I'll go to the library and check out a few books to figure out how to reprogram it. I'll learn fucking Linux, if I have to. Hell, I'm considering learning it now, with the way the world's going.

If one day the world is so online, that I'm strange for being disconnected, then strange I will happily be.

pronouncingitwang

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

yokowan

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

le-jardin-inculte

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

shithowdy

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

whitachi

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

araceil

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

podcastwizard

LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST

the-goddess-of-annoying

you people aren't CASTING

the-goddess-of-annoying

NO

storm-of-feathers

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

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whimsical-catacombs

literally every problem i've had in my adult life has been solved by open and honest communication. which is fucking stupid, first of all

petaltexturedskies

"I asked Chat GPT" — well, I asked Mother Nature and she said your brain and soul are rotting inside of you.

theartofmadeline

happy pride to the gay people in my computer <3

uncertainlys

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

sickdogs

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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thememedaddy

ellewantsrevenge

poverty is a form of torture utilized by the government to bring about a conditioned response

that conditioned response is considered a form of learned helplessness wherein the victim stops fighting back against what it believe to be the inevitable

but not everyone breaks under torture

64mpg

google used to know what i was talking about

depsidase

displeasedwolf

this is the vibe i bring to the party actually

veryluckyclovers

sluttynurse

i am so undertattooed

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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aralintheobsessive

if you want butterflies, you need to live with caterpillars.

i am not being metaphorical, i work in a garden center, stop buying plants 'to bring in the bees and butterflies' and then immediately poisoning every caterpillar that dares to consume a single leaf

you will not get butterflies if you kill all the things that turn into butterflies! what are you doing!

aralintheobsessive

getting a lot of responses to this going 'ok but it would be good as a metaphor though' so I will accept a metaphorical interpretation as long as you ALSO (!) promise to be considerate towards larval forms of insects specifically and biodiversity in general, deal?

kairithemang0-fm

Reblog if you're transmasc, support trans men, or want a chocolate chip cookie

#trans men are top tier #love my husband

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