Morgan- iRamble

I am back on my NPR kick. It’s not my fault Spotify loves to add this stuff to my rotation. The last Hidden Brain was a great overview of envy and was strategically posted in the week of American thankfulness and gratitude. Schadenfreude ...what a concept. The Germans have a way of getting to the point and leaving room for plenty of self reflection, as portrayed in their vocabulary and literature. Anyway, Schadenfreude is something that creeps into all of our lives. It’s the satisfaction of an “I-told-you-so” during a work project or seeing an unflattering tagged picture of a frenemy on your newsfeed. I’ve thought long and hard as to why we sometimes revel in another person’s failures. Sounds kind of mean, right? Here is my answer in simple terms: We ration our own success.

In every nation there is a “top 10% socioeconomic class” or people excelling at various tasks who are the best in their field. There isn’t enough expertise to go around, it seems. As it turns out, not everyone can be the best because then there would be no best at all. Moreover, it is challenging to measure your own self value and status in life without a means of comparison.

I’m circling back to my rant about self-help books for a second. Scrolling through Tumblr or IG, I see a lot of random quotes and proclamations about only trying to best yourself and to stop comparing yourself to others. This makes sense, because I know for a fact everyone‘a story is incredibly personalized and therefore, incomparable. Yet...there it is in your face at any given moment....SCHADENFREUDE!! You can’t shake it. Competitiveness and the need to thrive is at the core of every person. It’s primal. I’m caught up on how to be a decent human but also recognize I sometimes inadvertently enjoy outsiders’ misfortune. There’s entire businesses founded on this, after all. Insurance companies love devastation. Currently, Elon Musk’s public missteps have the masses thrilled because he is what Hidden Brain refers to as a tall poppy, and we want to see him cut down.

   Today, I’m a traveler and I’ve spent the better part of my airport lag time in souvenir shops and bookstores. There is a bestselling trend taking over 2019: How to remain empathetic and genuine. So many authors out there are pleading for readers to be their true selves. Self-help books are a guilty pleasure of mine, but this subgenre had me puzzled at first. It’s strange that modern people must be purposeful about caring for others and removing themselves from their own priority bubble. I thought being decent was a given. After all, social science frequently asserts that humans are inherently good. But we have limits. Hard ones. Inherent goodness does exist, but it is not a state of being, it’s a means of currency.                                                                                                                       I used to believe my capacity for caring was above average. I work as a civil servant, I’m a reliable friend/daughter/sister, animal lover, and a seasoned volunteer for worthy causes. On paper, I’m a real stand-up gal. However, I’ve come to realize that I’m eerily similar to the city suits who don’t hold the door open for anyone and veer far away from the homeless on the street. We are all selfishly moving through our days, only set apart by what motivates us. For example, I feel most empowered when I learn and can apply a new concept. I love to submerge myself in the unfamiliar and gain understanding. So, as a middle-class Caucasian millennial living in western culture, what could be more unfamiliar to me than racial and class disparities? Or how about the chronically ill? I consistently associate with these groups of people either directly or indirectly through various organizations and not solely because I have their best interest in mind. Although to be fair to myself, that’s part of it; I do want to help. My main driver is my addiction to having a more “well-rounded” viewpoint of the world and gaining self-reassurance of my own life and identity by way of comparison. Most of your neighborhood philanthropists are some version of me…. our return on investment is just some insight to grow wiser with. Other individuals give time or compassion in exchange for status or monetary gain, that’s the price of their goodness. For every dollar donated to UNICEF or hour spent at the soup kitchen, you get extra voter approval, improved company branding, and maybe a super wholesome Instagram post. However, the bottom line is that all of the aforementioned exchanges are perfectly okay. A good deed is a good deed.                                                                                                             Empathy is the new theme of our generation and I fully support it! Nonetheless, we should accept the fact that egotism trumps everything. Let’s be aware enough to embrace how we are evolutionary hardwired. Keep making it a point to step outside your comfort zone and interact with the folks outside of your herd. Be selfishly empathetic because it’s better than doing nothing.

Have you ever gotten a really random gift? Something you most likely never would have picked out yourself but it ends up being the most useful and wonderful item ever? Typically it’s courtesy of your parents or a helpful coworker.

One time someone got me an apple corer and now I use it everyday! Also Downy wrinkle release spray saves so much time, so it’s another noteworthy mention and a recommended Christmas stocking stuffer.

The top spot on my favorite present list goes to my kind and quirky baby sister. When I was nearly 15, my parents gifted me Karina. A younger sibling isn’t something I asked for or openly accepted as a teenager but today, she’s my biggest treasure. This post is short and sweet, not unlike most of Karina and I’s WhatsApp conversations. Thank you, sister, for teaching me to live life uninhibited. I love you for your creativity and braveness and I look forward to 13 more years of memories and lessons learned with you.

Let’s call the theme of this one “the great void”.  To start out, you should know I’ve spent the past two and a half years talking about becoming a freelance writer, an ironic blogger, a poet, or any other assortment of titles that young intellectual types take on. In a moment of realization, and maybe a little self-loathing, I decided I’m a pipe dream enthusiast with a lack of follow through. Ouch, harsh. But to my credit, here I am- what’s up Tumblr and other potential free blog platforms???!!

My version of fortune cookies and horoscope apps are Honest Tea bottle labels. They have these quotes on the inside that are meant to be profound and help to power you through your slightly-less-sweet-tea-drinking session. Anyway, years ago I peeled this one label off and taped it to my kitchen whiteboard. The Benjamin Franklin quote on that label read: “Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.” What a nice notion. In my head, I thought that those two actions were codependent. Imagine thinking you need to rewrite (punny) your life and create a new self-image in order to write well. Essentially, I thought that writing something worth reading meant you had to have a Hollywood memoir lifestyle. Don’t worry, I didn’t do anything dramatic like start traveling excessively or reviewing local food trucks. In fact, I didn’t even attempt to become more interesting at all. I work a lot and sometimes take care of other obligations like school and walking/feeding my dog, so I don’t have a lot of capacity for Instagram-worthy hobbies.