To Whom it May Concern:

Lyss

My life was so great when you were around I felt as though I was floating And if I ever thought I was going to fall I knew you'd catch me.   It's funny when things this great end Not in a comical sense, but in a peculiar way   Like the last day of summer When the leaves start to fall And you know that the tree isn't dying But it's shedding a part of itself that it once came to know   It's like losing someone that you've loved your whole life Like being abandoned in a sea full of people you know But the one person you wish to be with has vanished You go through this process The one they call grief It's almost as if you died The day that you decided your life no longer needed me in it The day that we stopped talking The day that I stopped feeling   Now my mornings are filled with thoughts Thoughts of you. Dreams of you.   How do I get you out of my head? You've taken up all the space that's left inside Any of the space that was left over from the grief I felt from a previous loss... How can I ever be whole again?   But I'm learning, oh God I'm learning How to live without you. It's like learning how to live without water Waking up dehydrated from the day before Supplementing that life essence with busy schedules and multiple interactions   I suppose one day I'll realize that I need water But I'll find it from a new source.

Lyss

Lyss

New do

Lyss

#UniversityOfGuelph

Because I love my life - and my journey - and figuring all this out, is the best fucking part.

San Pedro taught me: Just because I am not perfect does not mean I am broken. I decide what I want and what I don't want - what I need or don't need - no one else decides that for me and it's okay to change the "wants" and "needs" in your life as you change in life. Dark breeds dark, light breeds light. Like a candle which itself has light, it attracts a glow to it. It attracts the light. Let the light and love shine from within you and you will be surrounded by light and love in return. (Resonated hugely to me - tears of joy and understanding were emitted) Physical pain is analogous to emotional pain. You can take what you can take. You decide if you want to keep your hand on the hot mug and feel the slight pain and work through it and overcome it. Or you take your hand off and remember what the pain felt like so you can avoid it in the future. Like the candle. To emit your light into the world you must be able to stand up and exude it outwardly to those around you, it's okay to get some help standing - okay to get the help you need in order to get that light back. Stomach pain comes from not emitting your light. Holding it in. Let it out. Food and liquids are not to blame for your stomach issues. It is the fact that you have snuffed the light out in your body. You must let it shine outwardly and don't hold back. Feel your feelings fully. Stop holding everything in. Try milk now. You won't feel sick.

Travelling now for about two weeks and still almost a week left. Started in Cuba with my mum (just for fun) but then hopped on a plane from Havana to Lima to begin my journey of further self-discovery. Currently in the mountains near Cusco where I am staying at a retreat learning about the San Pedro, Sapo and Ayahuasca medicines. This is a tedious process. I am finding out a lot more about myself than I thought I originally knew. These medicines are subtle - they come to you when you are quiet and out of your head. You can't call them to you. It's like being in a relationship with someone who is across the world. You can't just will them to come to you at any time. You have to be ready. They have to come to you. They have to receive you. Also been looking into some animal tarot and runes. Funny how these things really reflect what your journey is shaping up to be. More to come. <3 Lyss

First Halloween costume. She-Hulk :) Yep, I completely painted myself. Still a little green haha. Lyssclarke

<3, Lyss

On September 21 I decided to go to Crystal Beach. It was actually warm (for those of you who don't know, I live in Ontario, Canada and fall in Canada isn't supposed to be even a little warm haha) The waves were amazing for body surfing - and my friend and I brought along some goodies (Cesars and Palm Bays) and had a grand ol time!