messy but kind

Tate had competed in countless tournaments through Westeros. He had ridden into battle time and time again. He’d been the sworn sword of a Queen. He’d been kidnapped. None of those had ever made him nervous. No, but he was nervous now. They’d been standing in the clearing for a while now. Emeric, Persephone, their vaguely terrifying guard, Cedric, and so many other faces stared back at him as he began to nervously twitch on his feet. It dawned on him now that perhaps Lynesse decided that this was a horrible idea. Tate did his best to squash that thought down deep into the back of his mind. A twig breaking on the edge of a clearing pulled his attention quickly to where two women stood. His face instantly lit up. The Dornish girl looked a little on edge, but smiling her eyes drifted to the guard for a moment before darted directly back to Lynesse. Tate couldn’t blame her. Lynesse stood tall, shoulders back, and regal with a perfectly white veil over her face. Even now, she was the imagine of a queen. He felt like he was going to empty his stomach at any moment. Instead, he reached a hand out to help guide her to where he stood. “Lost?” He asked, quirking an eyebrow up slightly. It didn’t seem like a point that he wanted to push too hard.  “At least you’re here now. Are you sure this is what you want?”

for a few moments she looked down and said nothing, totally frozen in place. she knew that if the light hit her right, he could see through the veil and she prayed silently that he would not panic and do something foolish. her eyes fluttered upward to look at the tyrells near, stopping short of looking at cedric before she felt the chill of the night air on her shoulders. she turned to see ashara take the delicate cloak from her. lynesse’s skin pricked against the cold and she felt some moderate relief from the temperature on the bruises that peaked through her pale skin in their purple and blue hues. lynesse always thought they looked like watercolor patches. everything seemed to be moving so quickly as ashara stepped back, folding the fabric in her gentle hands. finally, lynesse let her face move upward toward tate’s and she gave as best of a smile as she could. her hand held his in a grasp. “yes, of course i am sure,” she admitted. despite her earlier panic, she knew she had to trust in him. trust his words, trust his judgment, trust him to simply be there. 

her remained on his as she finally, really looked at everyone. azriel seemed to blend into the shadows behind ashara and she felt grateful for their discreet support. her eyes moved to her cousin, the only blood relative who seemed to show up. the only one who ever seemed to show up. though, lynesse had higher hopes for her brother now. a gaze fell on persephone, next to emeric, a queen and king in their own right. it caused her eyes to water at the sight of them being supportive, out of love for her and tate. the sensation of support and unconditional love made her heart sink under the weight. finally, she looked at cedric, and gave him a small nod; grateful for all that he had ever done, and even more grateful that he, too, supported her despite the trouble it brought. 

lynesse finally returned to her future king’s gaze, unsure how to read it through the veil. she hoped that he was able to see the happiness across it, in spite of everything that seemed to mask it. the chill caught up to her as her nerves picked up again as she waited for him to do his part, hand still in his. “i swear it to you, i am certain. scared, but certain.”

Ashara had been intricately braiding and beading and pinning Lynesse’s hair back when she suddenly pulled out of her grasp. “I-” A lone pin hung dangling from one of her blonde curls as the nerves overtook her. “Lyn-” The Dornish girl attempted to cut in to no avail. She was talking too fast, likely as fast as her brain was spinning. “Lyn-” It continued on, and Ashara stood up. She walked over to the bride-to-be and took her hand. “Lynesse,” She smiled and met eyes with her. “If you truly desire to run away, then we can go. I’ll figure out anything else along the way, I guess, but why would you want to run away? You love him.” She squeezed Lynesse’s hand tightly. “I have spend a good deal of time trying to explain to someone that how they see themself is not how I see them. While you may think, and truly believe, that you are not good enough for him, I swear by the Maiden it is not how he feels.” Another simple and encouraging smile. “That girl would have never been happy in a marriage with someone who loved someone else. This is an opportunity for her to find her own happiness, and it doesn’t matter if you still harbor feelings for your first love. Everyone does, don’t they?” Ashara certainly did.

she jerked her hand away as she stammered around, picking up her now-full goblet again as she paced frantically. “how could you know he thinks that? he is only marrying me to avoid his child being a bastard, right? that is what everyone is saying, right?” lynesse’s voice cracked and broke through the air as she suddenly felt hot. suffocatingly hot. her breathing became more rapid and she took a longer sip from her cup. “i can’t run, i can’t. but why do i feel so terrible?” her pale hazel eyes darted around the room almost as if she were looking for an escape. “oh gods, i love him so much. i do, i do. why do i--” her eyes fell back on ashara as tears started streaming down, stinging at the fresh wounds on her lips. the panic in her face made the bruising along her face pulsate and ache to almost unbearable levels. “what is so wrong with me? why can’t i just let him love me?”

perhaps this was what lifehad prepared for both of them, to go down their own roads and fufill theirown roles that fate had assigned to them. indeed, cedric had never once thoughtthat he would someday become prince of the reach, with all the responsibilitiesof tactful diplomacy and dealing with their military base like pawns on a chessboard. the young that had come to them some years ago from oldtown, all wildgolden hair, rosy cheeks and flowing emotions would go on to become the reigningqueen of the Riverlands – a mere echo of her former self.

letting a low chuckle slip from his lips as she stepped closer tohim, expressing her appreciation for his presence in her life, effortlesslyraising a hand to move a strand of her golden curls from her face after shekissed his hand earnestly. “by the seven hightower, some would say it seems asthough you have gone entirely soft on me.“ the tease was soft and swift,keeping his hand clasped in hers for some time whilst he continued to listen toher speak. that was the difference between them; lynesse was and always hadbeen a whirlwind of emotion, or a mess of a girl as some frankly said. therewas no hiding her happiness, anger or sadness – the features of her face werewhat cedric often deemed an open book. on the other hand, he knew the realityof his own emotional range – which in truth, did not stretch very far. effortlesslycool and collected, cedric couldn’t remember the last time he had ever beentruly angry or truly happy. sad, however, was another matter. “being terrified, is completely normal.”  

the tone sobered slightly as she asked him the question, his handfeeling the movements of life growing within her. the world was a dangerousplace for mothers; cedric distinctly remembers hearing his mother’s painfulscreams echo as she delivered his little sister. the thought made the hairs onthe back of his neck stand slightly. “i know you don’t have a choice. “ his tonewas far from stern but serious enough. they had always spoken frankly toeachother, and cedric thought of no reason to change that fact – especially in theaftermath of the directions their lives had chosen to take.  “just like everything else you put your mindto, i trust you will come and conquer. let yourself be happy, without questioning yourself. tate tully is your match, and is lucky to have you as a wife. your child will be blessed with a mother who will love them endlessly.”

her knees seemed to shake like they were spoons in loose wrists as his hand touched a curl, as he offered encouragement. lynesse wanted to collapse into herself and she was certain it showed on her face. she didn’t have to say anything, he had to have known. he had always known. her teeth held her lip in her mouth as she looked down at his hand on her belly, suddenly wrecked with sorrow. and despite cedric standing right there, physically touching her, she missed him with a great force.

against better judgement, lynesse moved forward and wrapped her arms around his torso as her head rested against his chest. it was far from a sexual embrace, if anything it felt like a farewell. but neither had said as much to each other. he knew. he knew. he knows. how could he not know what this was? lynesse rested there for a few moments, refusing to loosen her grip. not just on him, but the former life that he seemed to represent to her. she took in every intricate part of his scent, it somehow smelled of highgarden. home. every bob and flex of a muscle as he breathed reminded her that he wasn't just a ghost. even if he preferred to be treated as one. “i won’t know when i will see you again after this, if i do see you again,” her voice trailed off toward the end. at this point, lynesse couldn’t help but think of the worst case scenario. pregnancy was a risk and birthing was even more of a risk, and she was sure that past injuries might effect the process. but she wasn’t sure. all she was sure of at this time, was that she wanted frog.

her knees still stammered against each other, but her feet remained planted on the ground before she loosened her grasp for a moment to look up at him. she slowly let go and her body ceased to shake as she took a step back. back into her place. “you will come to my wedding though, yes? please? i need...support. your support.”

He knew a lie well enough when he heard one, but currently that state of her injures proved to be more concerning then the thought of immediately punishment for the guilty party ( and if he were honest, he had always loved when they ran ).·“I won’t need to tell anyone. You won’t be able to hide the discoloration or the pain that comes with such injuries. And if I’m right, the Tyrells and Tate both know who is behind this.” Gesturing to the singular chair in the room, Azriel released a sigh.·“Any stitches you need should be done by a maester. Any I do would make you scar.”

she moved toward the chair before taking a seat, a small touch running across the clotted blood on her lips. lynesse’s hands were still unsteady from the whole ordeal. she sighed.·“do you have a looking glass, by chance? is it truly as bad as it feels?” a slouch and another breath later the lady placed her hand on her belly, attempting to feel movement. after a few moments, she felt a pressure on her rib and smiled wide, cracking the lip once more.·“fucking seven hells, do you have a rag or something?” lynesse pulled a blood soaked kerchief from her bosom and dabbed in vain at her lip.·“my father. everyone knows, and those that do not will surely find out soon enough.”

     — “fuckin’ southern broads,” he rolled his eyes,   “GIANT COCK or not, don’t get shitty with me because you got stuck in a line with the commonfolk,” he retorted as he peered over the heads of the shorter folk to see how progression was going.    hearing her threats and the snarky reply (ah, yes… that would be the voice of baylon pyke… on of his head oarsmen), he had to laugh, looking back over his shoulder at the loud-mouthed blonde lady.   “you got a pretty HIGH opinion of yourself, don’tcha, girl?   what makes you think baylon’s got any interest in you?”

“has nothing to do with who i am surrounded by but more-” she took a deep breath as her cheeks flushed and she was pressed further against the heat of other bodies, instantly wishing she wasn’t pressed between a giant cock and robust sailor. “i am with child and it is hard to breathe between the bodies and the stench radiated off of everyone.” her voice was a hiss through labored breathing as she felt her stomach rustle beneath her gown. “for all fucking sake are we anywhere closer to some open fucking air? i feel sick.”

Elearnor found herself surprised about the dowery. She did not think that was something that happened in marriages like this. No matter how much it was, it would help the Riverlands. Even the smallest sum could be given to those who needed it most. She did seem to at least be trying. Though Eleanor could not help but worry somewhat for her soon to be sister. It seemed the Reach held a dear place in her heart. If she was going tobe queen of the Riverlands, she would need to forget that. It was clear Tate’s conversation with her had influenced more of her thoughts than she realized. “We are not nearly as extravagant. We’re not simple by any means. But we know that we are there to serve. We live by our words. Family is first and formost, then duty to our lands. And doing so with honor. We are a land that has seen more conflict than most. The most important custom we have is that the Riverlands are first. All other customs will come with time.”  

lynesse simply nodded. “that seems simple enough, most houses tend to have a similar sentiment. i imagine the riverlands is particularly prideful given their constant fighting and maintaining their lands,” she thought aloud. the future queen had read a little about it, all the battles they’ve been apart of over the ages. she tried to understand their differences from those in the reach but they did not seem much different. save for the reach being more hedonistic in certain aspects. though having known tate prior to the whole ordeal, they clearly didn’t totally frown on indulgence. “i will do my best, i mean it. truly.” lynesse wasn’t sure whether it was appropriate to call her sister. the closest lynesse had to a sister was her brother, and he was far from sisterly. she refrained from calling the other such, for now. it had to be official first, right?

she still had pins in her hair as she frantically paced through her rooms. in a rare moment, she held a goblet of mead in her hands, a dressing gown flanked her body and lynesse could not seem to calm down. “ash, i cannot do this, i cannot.” she took a long sip. mead made her feel like herself again. panic struck through her like lightening and she finished her drink as she began to sob. “i am no good for him, he is too good. i am not. i can’t. i still harbor feelings for my first love. i love tate with everything but...it isn’t right that poor girl i-” she paced quicker and her body shook as she handed her handmaiden her cup to fill her up again. “ashara, believe me when i say i am faithful to tate i just...we should run. azriel can help. i can disappear. it will be fine. i can’t--”

her hands shook as she held the white gown up in her hands. a veil carefully placed over her battered face, hiding it from view as ashara guided her through the forest. it was happening, it was actually happening. the thought ruminated with vigor through her mind and the sensation of running permeated through her feet. despite ashara’s comforting words, the feeling still lingered that this was wrong. this was all wrong. it wasn’t supposed to be this way and yet--it was. she could feel her child tumble in her womb as her heart raced. lynesse was late, and she knew th at had to have made tate uneasy. she struggled with the guilt that she felt, that she hadn’t told him that she still held a special place for another. but lynesse knew, with all that she had, that that place was shrinking the longer she stayed with tate. still, the thought of commitment made her uneasy. but that was normal, no? she took slow steps, careful to not move too quickly as to muddy up her gown. it was simple, but she hardly had the time to order anything extravagant. her elbow locked into ashara’s; partially to stabilize her shaking and partially to keep her close. lynesse truly loved her counterpart, and the wedding seemed to solidify the reality that she was soon to be separated from her. separated from ashara, separated from emeric and seph and cedric. she fumbled for a moment until she saw the faces in dim light look at her. it made her want to quake under the pressure but then she saw tate’s face. he was like something out of a novel. something pure and good and wonderful. the pattern of his kilt suited him well and through her veil, lynesse smiled through the pain. she stepped into place, but kept her head down. “sorry i was late, we--got lost.”

Tate pressed his forehead against her own, a deep chuckled reverberating his chest. “Seven? Truly?” He asked. It was certainly not an idea he was opposed to. “I am eager to do as you bid, My Lady.” He tucked a finger under her chin and tilted it upwards so that he could kiss her. He ran his hands down to grasp her and pulled her up to a standing position and as close to him as he could manage. In that moment, Tate held no regrets for the decisions that he had made. Would they be a complication further down the line? Undoubtedly. Would he trade this moment? Never. “Lynesse, I swear by the Old Gods and the New that if he ever so much as looks at you incorrectly from here on out, I will run my sword through him with no remorse. He perhaps does not deserve a death so clean, but it will be swift. Do not fail to tell me if he does. Do you understand?” He voice was calm, serious in a way that was unusual for Tate. He meant every single word. Lynesse was to be his wife, and no one would ever harm her again so long as Tate lived to stop it. He grasped her behind and pulled her even closer to him than he’d managed to get her before. “How can you expect me to go focus on an event now? With all this power?”

she did not want his kiss to end, especially with what he said next. lynesse still didn’t like to talk about her father, and the idea of him being murdered by her own husband made her uneasy. she was halfway torn between wanting to be finally free from lord hightower’s torture and not wanting her beloved to become a killer. though it seemed a matter of time, and lynesse knew that as the news broke of their engagement and pregnancy, it would be imminent. what she didn’t know, however, was how far her father would go. her blonde head nodded in understanding. the seriousness of tate’s voice, the almost veiled command behind it caused something to flutter in her stomach. and as he pulled her into him, her chest against his, her growing waist pressed against the hardness of his abdomen--tate tully still had a way of making her flush. the security and safety she felt with him drove her mad, and something about it invoked a loyalty and devotion in her she hardly recognized. instead of wrapping her arms around him for a sweeter embrace, her hands moved to his, guiding them down the velvet of her dress to rest on her arse. from there, the future queen moved her hands up the back of his shirt. a tray falling to the ground and a cough flanked the background and she was sure there were people staring. as if she cared if they watched, or spoke, or whispered. nails scratched the surface of his moist skin before, in a quick movement, her hand fell over the front of his trousers. lynesse squeezed as she talked in a low tone, her switch clearly flipped over. “perhaps you can channel that energy into winning the next event, then. and if you do win, perhaps your wife will provide some sort of...special celebration?” the hand on him lingered for a few moments longer, teasing at further exploration before lynesse kissed him briskly. “i will be here, waiting. for you.”

The knocking at his door had woken him in an instant. Eyes had flown open to stare at the ceiling, and though he hoped the knocking would end ( perhaps someone was drunk and had come to the wrong door ), the call of his name shortly after told him otherwise. Pulling the dagger from beneath his pillow, he begrudgingly yanked open the door. “What the fuck do you—  ” the words dropped dead on his tongue at the sight of his Queen’s ward standing in the hallway ( bloodied and appearing terrified ). Weary eyes glanced both directions of the corridor before he stepped aside and motioned her inside. “Who the fuck am I killing? Is it that Tully cunt?”

her hand moved to her mouth, checking the blood that began to clot on her lip. the ring her father bore cut through both the top and the bottom and fingertips could already feel the swelling bubble up. lynesse took a long breath before she shook her head. “no, it wasn’t tate it was--some stranger,” she lied quietly. it was still hard for her to talk about the whole situation, especially with someone who already made her uneasy. “i just can’t--” her voice was hushed, strained, and cautious. “i need help cleaning this up and if the tyrells or tate finds out, it is going to be an entire issue and i just can’t--” lynesse’s voice became hoarse as her throat dried up. “help me, and tell no one. please.”