beyonce really is that friend that’s like “all men aint shit!! you dont need them dont even think about them! men dont deserve you!” and then she goes home to her man and you go home alone 

bored. might swollow a kinder egg like a snake just because

This is what the FDA thought everyone would do if they allowed kinder eggs in America

spaghetti party

How’s the Swedish Christmas goat doing? Has it caught fire this year?

Security never saved it before. This is just the next level of difficulty and the gradual increase has only acted as training and made the Swedes unstoppable.

Security has saved it for the last 3 years, what are you talking about?

no wonder so many bond villains come from the nordics they pull shit like this for a straw goat 

Man history majors are so great because they know all this stuff but they have The One Subject and once you find out what a given history buff’s Subject is you will never be bored again because they will tell you all about it with the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas morning

Mmmmm, I love that moment when you strike upon THE subject and their eyes light up, their posture straightens, the smile takes hold, and their enthusiasm is infectious.

Why was Shrek’s soundtrack so incredible like who sat down and decided that a movie about an ogre would have a beautiful Rufus Wainwright ballad followed by a Smash Mouth/Eddie Murphy cover of I’m A Believer and how can I thank them