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warnings: none i don’t think, just joel being emotionally unavailable

a/n: wrote this running solely on fumes im gonna pass out after this, BUT FIRST JOEL MILLER FIC! there’s not much of a relationship here but i’m planning on building it as i go. hope you enjoy! love u. | 0.6k words

joel doesn’t talk to you much, but you know he cares. he’s gentle with you, patient, and protective. his hard exterior never seeming to crack beyond that, his walls were built up so high it was no use trying to break through them. so you didn’t, keeping to yourself as much as he kept to himself.

it was a silent agreement between you both, survive and have eachothers backs. it’s easy enough, he’s methodical and strong you’re smart and agile. your dynamic was easy and it worked, it had gotten you this far.

you just wish he would talk to you more. hes always around but it often gets lonely, only being talked to when absolutely needed. truth is, you can’t remember the last time you had a real conversation with joel other than concocting plans or quick exchanges.

you’d been partners for over a year now and you barely knew a single thing about him, other than him having a brother out there somewhere and a daughter he lost early on. but you wanted to know him, if he had any hobbies before the outbreak or what his favorite color is.

“y/n.” his stern voice knocked you out of your trance.

“hm? sorry, i was thinkin’,” you picked at your dirty fingernails, scraping the muck out from underneath them, “what’s up?”

he stared at you for a few beats, “hungry?”

you were starving but you knew there was only enough food for one of you, you also knew he’d go hungry if you said yes, “no, i’m alright thank you.”

“alright,” joel shoved the can of 20 year old baked beans back into his bag. “we’ll save it for tomorrow.”

“no joel, eat,” your hand made its way to his hand, placing it on top softly. “please.”

he stiffened under your touch, gently pulling his hand away from yours. he shook his head, “i’ll be alright.”

“what was your favorite food before y’know, all this.” it was a desperate attempt to keep him talking, to keep the conversation from ending.

his eyes stayed on the forest floor, he thought for a moment and then he shrugged, “don’t know.”

“c’mon there has to be something! mine was pecan pie.” even the thought of it made your stomach growl.

“i’ve never had it.”

you gasp slightly, “you’ve never had pecan pie? i’ll have to make it for you someday.” a soft smile makes its way onto your lips.

he nodded.

“why don’t you talk to me?” the words came out before you could stop them.

he looked at you for a moment, contemplating. “let’s start heading to bed, gotta be up early.” he sat up from the floor, dusting himself off and grabbing the sleeping bags from the back of bills truck.

you sighed quietly, “okay.”

he noticed the shift in your attitude but he pretended not to. instead he layed the sleeping bags down next to eachother.

“gonna be warm enough?”

you nodded softly, quietly settling into your sleeping bag. he followed suit, adjusting himself until he was on his side facing away from you. you chose to face him, your eyes being met with the back of his head. it took everything out of you not to run your fingers through his hair.

“pancakes.” his voice was quiet but loud enough for you to hear it.

“what?” you had heard him but you wanted to make sure you weren’t hearing things.

“pancakes, i really like pancakes.”

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ps ive missed u and ur posts ):