Funny enough, now that I have more time in my hands - I have trouble occupying my time and especially, myself. For one, I realized that I have spent more energy trying to create plans and have new experiences with my “friends,” while I receive very little in return. All of my unrecognized efforts has wasted away my motivation and consistency to maintain these relationships. Yet another, I am secure with what I have and who I have which lessens my desire to fill this stretch of time with anything thrilling or unfamiliar. 

I worry that I’m losing my sense of adventure, my desire to explore, and to create art. I worry because these are things that make me happy, that make me motivated.