Come explore my Wonderland

we all have a favorite eyebrow

teacher: write a 5 page essay analyzing this me: it’s not that deep 🏊🏼

when virginia woolf said “sometimes he makes a joke—it is generally painful. sometimes he tells a story—it is always irrelevant. most often he spreads himself out in a waste of verbosity, where any interest that there may have been peters out dismally and loses itself in the sand”

This some straight up charlie chaplin stunting

when u scratch a cat’s chin and they lift their head up reblog if u agree

when u scratch a cat’s cheek and they lean their head into ur hand reblog if u agree

when u put your hand in front of your cat’s face and they gently headbut u reblog if u agree

when ur cat runs just a lil bit faster to get to u reblog if u agree

cats reblog if u agree

Ｍ　Ａ　Ｓ　Ｔ　Ｅ　Ｒ　　Ｈ　Ａ　Ｓ　　Ｒ　Ｅ　Ｔ　Ｕ　Ｒ　Ｎ　Ｅ　Ｄ

This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?

so my roomates girlfriend just caught me in the kitchen and its so hard to play it cool when you never see this person you only hear her yowling like a cat in heat while her asshole gets played with so me, trying to act as casual as i possibly could, forgot i was holding an onion and not a delightful apple and bit into it fully expecting a honeycrisp but instead got the equiv of biting solid piss 

lol wtaf. i can’t read a single word of this paragraph

a while ago I saw a post that pointed out that Snape would have treated Harry differently if he had been a girl and looked like Lily and I’m so horrified at the truth in that statement that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it

fuck

buy me McDonalds and call me daddy

im calling the police

Cop kink I see

do not,

okay first of all she is their MOTHER and she did NOTHING less than keeping her family SAFE

Yo what? She was a liscenced pilot who had enough connects and respect to get a fuckin jet in less than 24 hours, then saved her family and humanity. Being thic is a biproduct of her kicking ass all day every day tell me I’m wrong

Helen Par was, undoubtedly, The Hero of The Incredibles. She single-handedly saved her two children from a plane explosion after piloting the HELL out of a government jet. She then all but single-handedly saved her husband (Mirage beat her to it by milliseconds). And to top it off, she let herself be thrown at least 40 meters into the air to save her baby that was in free fall. Bob may have been out there kicking ass and looking good doing it, but ElastiGirl was Mrs. Fucking Incredible throughout that entire movie. It’s like she said in the beginning of the movie: “I’m at the top of my game! I’m right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on! Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don’t think so! I don’t think so.”

I wish “repeatedly baffled Christendom by continuing to live” existed in a different context than the horrifying result of inbreeding Spanish royalty for centuries, because, honestly, same

What’s an iPod?

been on tumblr so long my text post is outdated…