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Jermajesty x fem plus size!reader
Summary: Things were going strong and rightfully so with you and Jermajesty. And when you found out you were pregnant, both of you couldnât be more astonished. You thought having the baby would bring you two closer. But you couldnât have been further from the truth when the day came. Now, you both are trying to navigate the ups and downs of early parenthood without disrupting what youâve already built together.
a/n: lowk hurt my heart to make Jermajesty say such insolent things.. and as much as I liked writing this, Iâm not sure if I like how it turned out but I tried my best. hopefully it was what you had in mind. I hope you enjoy!! ð @youngrefugestar
wc: 2.9k
warnings: mdni, pregnancy, postpartum, parenting, bbd!jermajesty, arguing, crying, distress, emotional breakdown, comforting, baby is a girl, babyâs name is grace/gracie, very angsty, slight fluff, established relationship, use of nicknames, not proof read
Things had been perfect with you and Jermajesty. You were happy together. Never arguing. Always communicating through any and everything. It was your dream relationship. You couldnât possibly ask for anything better.
Jermajesty loved you inside and out. He thought every part of you was beautiful, especially your body. That was his favorite part. You were already perfect as you were, but your body was a bonus to him. He loved it. Every curve. Every perfectly imperfect flaw. It completed you in every way.
He made you feel like you were a walking goddess. Always boosting your confidenceââMy baby is so pretty.â Hyping you up any chance he got. Heâd probably compliment you at least a hundred times a day. Never went a day without doing so. It was just a must need for him.
There wasnât a second where you didnât feel beautiful and loved around him. Heâd defend you and your beauty with his life. If anyone made you feel less of yourself, heâd make sure to put that person in their place.
And that wasnât even half of it.
You two were just the perfect couple. Neither of you could be any happier. Everything just clicked and made sense. Everyone knew it too. Theyâd boast about it as if it were their own relationship.
When you saw those two lines appear on the pregnancy test, you immediately ran to Jermajesty. Tears in your eyes as you showed him. He was just as shocked as you were.
âYouâre lying, right?â He said at first. You shook your head, covering your mouth, still in pure shock. âNo,â he said, still in denial. âReally?â All you could do was nod, keeping yourself from crying tears of joy. âNo way!â He shouted, running up to you, wrapping his arms around you in an instant. âWeâre having a baby!â He exclaimed.
That was one of the happiest days of your lives. It was the beginning of everything you had always wished forâa family. And you couldnât have hoped to be doing it with anyone else other than Jermajesty. You always knew heâd be a wonderful dad. It was always one of his dreams.
Knowing you could give that dream to not just yourself, but him as well, made you feel whole. It was all you ever wanted. And it had finally happened. What more could you possibly want?
Everything throughout the nine months went fairly smoothlyâmore so with Jermajesty by your side. He was sweet as always of course, but especially with this; he made sure to take extra good care of you.
Always attending your needs. Any cravings you were wanting, heâd get you with no hesitation. Got rid of any thing that made you feel nauseous. Held your hair back whenever you had morning sickness. Went to every ultrasound appointment. Was beyond astounded when he found out you guys were going to have a babygirl.
He was everything and more.
When the day came and you went into labor, Jermajesty rushed you instantly to the hospital. Hurrying you into the hospital doors, getting you up to a room as soon as possible.
Throughout the entire time, he never let go of your hand. Not once. Still complimenting you even though you felt like a horrid goblin. Kissing your forehead. Reassuring you constantlyââYouâre doing so well ma, âm so proud of you.â
It wasnât easy. But it was much better with him at your side helping the best he could. It was a natural birth and your babygirl came out as healthy as can be which made you all the more grateful. Things were looking up in every direction.
That was all until the first week of finally being parentsâwhen it all started. What you thought to be the best time for growing closer with Jermajesty since your baby was finally here was nothing like the reality of it all. Everything started to fall apart bit by bit.
The first few days werenât everything you were hoping for but that felt normal. You knew it was all going to take some adjustments. Considering you had just brought new life into the world. Into your world.
But after some time, things continued to worsen. Your breasts were sore and full all the time. Your confidence plummeted, feeling more insecure than ever about yourself. Your body was no longer the same. Inside and out. Not that you didnât know that, but you werenât as prepared as you thought you were for it all to happen so suddenly. You got used to the changes during pregnancy, but after pregnancy was something else.
To also add onto it, you were always feeling anxious or depressed or sometimes both. And it was hard to get out of it. There wasnât a flip a switch kind of button. You just felt rather helpless. This wasnât what you imagined for yourself at allâyou imagined anything but it.
And worst of all, you and Jermajesty had been distant and cold with one another, which was unlike you two.
Arguing more frequently. Always fussing over the baby. The compliments stopped. The gentleness. Reassurance. Happiness. Everything. All of it.
Now it was just silent treatment or attitude. Always aggravated over something. Sometimes he wouldnât even come to bed with you. And if he did, heâd just be facing the over way like he wanted nothing to do with you.
Pure meanness everywhere. It was all so sudden. So random. It was hard to fathom even that this wasnât just a bad dream that you couldnât wake up from. You couldnât wrap your head around that this was the reality of things.
None of it was like Jermajesty at all. The man you trusted enough with your body and to have your child, was now acting like a complete stranger. Like you never knew him to begin with.
And in a time like this is when you needed him most. His care. His love. His support. Now it was no longer to be found. Just like that.
You could barely bring yourself to get up with each passing down and push yourself to take care of Grace. It was hard enough to take care of yourself right now. And you were practically doing it alone with Jermajestyâs distance.
Everytime you tried to communicate with him, asking him nicely to go attend Gracie, heâd make up some random excuse to avoid doing it and even when you tried to push it, heâd lash out.
âIâve got better things to do!â
âLeave me alone!â
âGosh, do either of you ever shut up!â
It was beyond you to see him act that way. But what choice did you have? You had to get the baby taken care of one way or another. With or without Jermajesty.
Right now though, Grace was all that mattered. She came before you, Jermajesty or your guyâs relationship. But you couldnât help to feel some resentment whenever you saw her. Wanting to burst into tears everytime you looked at her. But you held it in and kept yourself together. Trying your best not to fall apart any second.
With every day, it didnât get any easier than the day prior. Hanging on by a thread at this point. You could feel you were close to your breaking point.
And that soon came, when you least expected it.
Resting your head on the pillow, Jermajesty was sitting in the room next door. Graceâs cries began echoing throughout the house, waking you from any chance you had of getting some sleep. Sighing tiredly, you slowly rised from your previous position, bringing yourself to get up.
You thought it might be worth a try to ask Jermajesty one more time. Gradually walking over to the other room, you saw Jermajesty sitting there on his computer, doing who knows what.
You inhaled hesitantly before speaking, âJer, could you please go check on Gracie.â He didnât turn. Didnât nudge. Just let out a cold bitter. âBusy.â But you werenât going to take that for an answer.
âNo, Jermajesty. Iâm not feeling well. Iâm just asking you this once to go check on her. Please.â You asserted, using the tiny bit of patience you had left. Jermajesty finally turned, an annoyed expression on his face. âI told you Iâm busy. Not right now.â He said keenly.
You raised your arms, placing them on your hips. âJermajesty I donât feel like arguing with you right now. Just go. Thatâs all Iâm asking of you.â
He raised from his seat in an angrily fashion, âYou never want to leave me alone, do you? All youâve done since the baby came along is nag me. Iâm sick of it. I wish we wouldnât have kept her! Sheâs ruining everything!â He violently yelled, storming out of the house, slamming the door shut before you could even utter another word.
You were left beyond speechless, tears flooding your eyes. Still trying to process everything that you just witnessed. His harsh words hit deep like a knife to the heart. And his quick absence left a lasting mark. A terribly cold one.
It felt like you had just had a horrid nightmare and this was the part where you woke up to find it was nothing more than that. But you didnât. This was real. This just happened.
Your body felt limp and your heart heavy. Graceâs cries reverberating as you stood there numb. Swallowing hard like there was a stone in your throat, you sluggishly walked over to Graceâs room. Gently lifting up her small body, tears still in your eyes. Shushing her as you rocked her body softly.
It wasnât long before you broke down into tears, continuing to rock her, your hands trembling alongside her being. You sobbed quietly, kneeling to the ground. As Grace saw your tears fall, hers seemed to stop in a matter of seconds. Like your pain overpowered hers, and she could feel it.
âIâm so sorry Gracie. I didnât want things to be like this. It isnât your fault. I wish I could be a better mother. Iâm sorry.â You wept, venting aloud to yourself. Grace reached out her little arm, trying to reach out to you. Through blurry vision, you leaned in. She touched your face, gently grabbing your nose. You let out a soft laugh through a sob.
âI love you so much sweet girl.â You said quietly. Holding her close, hugging her tightly for a sense of comfort. And it was comforting. Feeling her warmth against your chest. Your creation. Whom you loved dearly. More than anything in the world.
But it was still lonely inside.
Finally, you leisurely arose from your kneeling position, holding Grace near. Your tears slowly letting up. Walking over to your room, you laid down on the bed, Grace laying her body on your chest. You rubbed soothingly on her backsideâa circle pattern until she fell asleep.
Hours passed. No word from Jermajesty. Grace had been fast asleep in her crib now. She was fed, changed, read to, everything. It was finally peace and quiet for the night. You waited an hour more to see if Jermajesty would come home.
But he didnât.
No call. No text. Nothing.
You didnât stress it for the night. It was probably good for you two to have some time apart. Cool off from all the tension. Heâd come back when heâs ready. He was a grown man. He didnât need babysitting. It wasnât your responsibility right now.
Three days had now passed. Still nothing heard from Jermajesty. You brushed it off the first day and a half but it wasnât until yesterday night that you began to worry. Today you had even left a few messages and called him twice. Trying not to come off as annoying but you were really starting to worry about him.
Jermajesty, where are you?
Are you okay?
Please let me know if youâre safe.
A few more hours had now gone by. You had now called three more times along with sending five more messages. And it wasnât until eleven at night that you heard keys outside and saw the doorknob turn to find Jermajesty walk through the door. You jumped off the couch instantly as he shut the door behind him. And just as you were about to open your mouth, you noticed something.
For the first time in three weeks, he didnât look so exasperated. His face was still and calm. Eyebrows softened, eyes lowered. Lips quivering just a tad. You wanted to raise your voice. Wanted to shout and yell at the top of your lungs.
But instead you looked at him, a tired look on your face and walked up to him steadily. His heaving chest right in front of you. Your eyes slowly found their way up to his. Staring deeply into his eyes, all you could do was hug him. You were far too exhausted to be mad. And the last thing you needed was more arguing and hurtful words being said.
He was sweaty. Body tense. Shoulders hunched.
A bit shaky all around.
For a moment he just stood there blankly until his arms found his way around your body. Finally easing himself into you. Hugging you tightly. Both of you holding there for a while before he broke the silence.
âIâm sorry.â He murmured.
Your eyes opened, widening at the sudden words. Arms still snug around him, you couldnât grasp any response at the moment. Before you could even get an actual word out, your eyes filled with tears. And they slowly started to fall.
Letting out a weak sob, Jermajesty pulled away quickly, holding each of your shoulders with his hands. A concerned look on his face, âHey, hey. Baby no, please donât cry. Iâm so sorry.â He said eagerly, pulling you back close into his arms. âIâve been such an asshole. I know that.â
You couldnât get any words out still.
Only loud weeping.
âReally, thereâs no excuse for my actions. I donât know why Iâve been acting like I have. You donât deserve that. Neither of you do.â He anxiously said, his heart beating fast against your ear. âItâs unforgivable. It truly is. And I know Iâve been away.â He paused, breath shaky. âThe second I walked out the door, I was filled with regret. It was unbelievable what I said to you. I realized then, I needed to get my shit together.â
Jermajestyâs voice quivered, tears now flooding his eyes as well. You pulled back, glaring up at him. He made a smiley frowning look with his face, wiping the streaming tears from under your eyes. âIâm so sorry sweetheart.â He whispered softly. âI donât want to lose you or Gracie. Iâm ready now.â He paused once again, his eyes wandering elsewhere. âIâm sorry it took me so long to be.â
Your arms trailed up his body, your hands finding his face. Gently caressing the side of his cheek, his eyes softening as they turned towards you. âI missed you.â You muttered quietly. Hugging him once again tightly, your arms wrapping around his neck. âAnd I do forgive you. Thank you for your apology.â
âNo baby, I should be thanking you. Youâve been practically doing it all on your own. Thatâs not fair. I know youâve been feeling out of it lately too with your postpartum. I shouldâve been there to step in when you needed me.â He noted, gently brushing his hand over your head.
âItâs okay Jer, really. I promise.â You assured.
âAre you sure ma?â He asked hesitantly.
Pulling away from him, âYes, Iâm sure. Iâm just glad youâre safe. I was getting worried.â You consoled. âBut can things go back to the way they were before between us?â
âYes baby! Of course. I miss that a lot.â He declared.
Your features softened at last, the corners of your mouth twitching upward, your face lighting up with joy. âMe too,â you said softly.
âWould you like to see Gracie?â You asked quietly.
âOf course, yes!â Jermajesty whispered in an excited tone. âOkay! Follow me, but we have to be quiet. Sheâs sleeping.â You informed him, taking his hand in yours. Leading him into Graceâs room.
Opening the door to her room, there was a small soft lamp on, purple flower wallpaper all over. Walking up to the brim of her crib, peering over at her resting body. Jermajesty beamed. âSheâs so beautiful,â he whispered. âJust like you baby.â
You smiled, blushing from his kind words that you missed hearing. Jermajestyâs expression dimmed a bit, âI canât believe Iâve been missing out on this sweet angel,â he said, regret lingering in his voice. âHey, itâs okay baby. Donât blame yourself,â you comforted. âWhatâs important is that youâre here now, realizing your mistakes. And now being present to enjoy each moment.â
Jermajesty inhaled, his breath shaky once again. Looking over to you, giving you a soft gaze, âThank you sweetheart,â he said, you began inching over to him. He paused, taking another deep breath in. âI really donât know what Iâd do without you. Iâm so lucky to have you here with me. And Gracie too. Iâm grateful for you both.â He admitted.
Inching even closer to him, your hand holding the side of his face, lips just about touching. âI love you,â he muttered. Your eyes gazed into his, a soft smile appearing on your lips, your mouth parting just a tad. âI missed hearing that,â you said. âI missed saying it,â he replied.
Instantly, you closed the space between you two with a hungry kissâmaking all of it worth it in the end. To finally feel his love again.
















