i swore it.

oof, apologies for not being here! stressed and depressed got me unmotivated again weeps but!! 

i am around on discord so if u wanna chat there, totally PM me for it! 

i’m also around on twitter and i’m... finally dragging my ass back to ffxiv after three or so years so! hopefully that relieves some of my anxieties!! (i also have a zillion assignments to do so... hopefully i’m actually on there consistently omg)

“I don‘t want praise for that!” he snapped a bit. “Of course I can look past that. You have, too. When you snuck me outside to see the stars when we were small. When you comfort me. There’s… being a servant, and then there’s caring. You wouldn‘t be half as good as you are if you didn‘t care. You’ve done everything for me, and I can‘t even… I’ll never be able to repay you for it.”

“I know!” Oh no. There were tears forming at the corner of his eyes. He quickly wiped at his face. “I… I don‘t wanna marry some girl, Iggy… I’ve never been interested in them. Just you. What do you want me to do? My life is never gonna be mine. I hate being a prince… You know that, don‘t you? I… I’m scared…”

He stares, slightly speechless, at the outburst the prince gives. It’s certainly unexpected and by no means is he offended by any of those words. Yet, even as he thinks that, he sees tears forming and his heart lurches with panic. Had he caused that? Had neglecting to attend properly to Noct to allow him to fester such... agony? Such concern about the future?

“What if you fell in love? Would you still care about me, then?” He stuck out his tongue. “Can‘t have you get too distracted, you know?” Though, he hoped Ignis wasn‘t really looking at Ardyn like that. Impossible, right?

@luravitae

Ignis looked away from him and Noctis felt… upset? No, it was… lonely? Nah. Not that one either… Ignored? Perhaps. That feeling felt more in tune to what his inner alpha was telling him through the sea of hormones running rampant in his body.

Noctis rounded the counter after a low growl. He hated it a bit, and he knew Ignis would chastise him for it, but for some reason he was growing agitated at every little inconvenience much faster than normal. Yes, this was his rut alright…

But he couldn’t be bothered whether or not his advisor disliked his tone. “Well then I don’t know why, but your smell is everywhere…”

On the couch, in the kitchen, he swears- he can even smell the man in the curtains across the room. It made absolutely no sense. Usually, Ignis’ smell was very muted and hard to scent at all. But now, it was all Noctis could focus on. It smelt inviting and with a subtle yet almost overwhelming hint of… something.

Something that Noctis wanted all over him.

And so when Ignis offered to call him up an omega, Noctis’ inner alpha bristled. Inadvertantly he felt cast aside. Like he wasn’t good enough. And he wanted none of that. Ignis still wasn’t looking at him, hunched over his frying pan of burning bacon. He huffed out another childish growl. “I don’t want someone like that. It would be weird. I wouldn’t even know them…”

He was standing right behind Ignis now, almost without even realizing it. He wanted those emerald eyes back on him. Wanted the older man’s undivided attention. But at the same time, that scent was becoming even stronger. It was making his body restless. And, he was embarrassed to find that the scent was beginning to arouse him. Gods- did Iggy always smell this good before now?

“My rut hasn’t started quite yet…” It was a bold-faced lie, but he didn’t want to be left alone just yet. He hated his ruts. Something about Ignis being close to him calmed him. Made him feel wanted and secure. “…Can you stay? Just until we get done eating breakfast?”

He’s so close to Ignis’ back now that he had half a mind to press himself up against it and lose himself in that scent, but he shakes his head to make that stupid idea fall out of his brain. Though it was growing more and more enticing… “Smells great. I wanna eat it.”

“Everywhere?”

The word comes unbidden out of his mouth, slightly higher pitched than normal, and Ignis wholly cannot help it. He doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want his scent to be--- stinking up Noct’s apartment. It’s terrible. It’s nothing Noct should have to deal with.

The cramps are getting worse with each step Noct takes, and he wishes to both curl up to him and scent him yet also flee from this place and never look back. Both options are equally jeoprodizing, and his form stiffens further when the growl echoes low from Noct’s throat. It’s jarring; his instincts scream at him to submit, to present himself, and it’s only by focusing on the smell of bacon that he’s able to muscle aside his growing desire to give in.

He despises being an omega. He hates it. He wishes Noct wasn’t here, witnessing his crumbling will to his nature. 

But then--- he can never say no to Noct, can never figuratively turn his back on the one he’s vowed to serve all his life. Of course, Ignis so wholly regrets keeping this lifelong secret from Noct, but it’s only to make certain they remained friends, only to make sure Ignis wouldn’t burden Noct with his nature when he finally becomes King. 

It’s not a good idea for him to stay if Noct will be in rut. In fact, it’s rather--- it’s a terrible idea given how utterly useless Ignis’ blockers seem to be. Soon, they’d both be unable to help themselves, and Ignis would not be able to blame what happens on anyone but himself.

He wants to say no. He truly wants to, but also doesn’t at the same time.

❥     𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖  𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄   𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒   .              —>[ lazy ]   your muse lazily beginning to touch mine.

He wakes up with a quiet moan.

suggestive starters meme ( nsfw )

“I thought perhaps we could maintain a high sense of propriety…” A dry utterance, but he’ll cater to the other’s words all the same. It’s not as if he has anything against doing so, after all, and perchance he even sat so far away to provoke such a reaction. Not that he would ever admit nor suggest such a n admission, of course.

He stands; slowly, languidly. Eyes fixated ‘pon the other with quiet intent yet still carrying about some modicum of lackadaisical interest. It feels— far too hot, suddenly, as if the small room they’re in bears a heater he’s not yet aware of, yet perhaps this coil in his core is arousal speaking to him, a soft murmur that Nyx will indeed perhaps… try something if he were to place himself where the other wishes. Then again, it is what he hopes for, and he’ll do so with subtle coyness. 

He approaches as quick as he dares to. It is a game between them, after all, whether or not to showcase his eagerness. Of course, he’ll not give up his disinterested farce so easily: Nyx will have to work for it, and, privately, Ignis believes he enjoys the challenge.

And perhaps he also enjoys the way Nyx will pant after him, enjoys the way such attention will be lavished upon his figure, enjoys the way that he can make Nyx grunt and groan. It feels like such a gem, to be privy to the way Nyx can be like this. 

“How fortunate for you, then.” And he means it sincerely, for those guided by the Astrals tend to be guided into misfortune and misery. He has seen it so many times over the years, most notably in the line of Lucis. “I…have spoken with the Draconian, yes. Not through the Oracle, no.” There is some hesitance in revealing that much.

He would be idiotic to assume such a request is mainly for him, yet at the same time it would be likewise to think that it isn’t for him. Of course, it’s entirely possible Noct has... other friends who have birthdays around the same day as Ignis himself, it isn’t as if this month is entirely for Ignis.

Then again, the prince could simply have the desire for something sweet. It wouldn’t be unlike the man, after all. If that is the case, then Ignis will certainly accommodate him without question.

“Cupcakes are fairly easy,” he says, chuckling softly at the strange anxiety that seems to have overtaken the prince. Normally he’s lackadaisical in such requests, but perhaps this is something he needs to do in order to impress someone. Which is utterly flattering if it’s Ignis, of course, though he cannot entirely dismiss the idea it’s for someone else entirely.

He does so wish it is for him, though.

@luravitae

Noctis groaned as he slowly rose from the depths of his sleep, eyes scrunching and body curling into a ball beneath the blankets.

“…Mmmn…. Iggy…?” Feintly, the familiar, soft scent of his advisor stirred him further. It smelt as though the man were only a few feet away. Dark lashes fluttered open, but there was no one in the room.

That was… odd.

But from further into his apartment he could catch the roaming scent if bacon and eggs. Could hear the distant popping and sizzling bacon grease in a pan. And he knew the Ignis wasn’t too far away.

The prince forced himself out of the bed but didn’t bother putting on a shirt for now. The room felt hotter than normal and he was loathe to add to the feeling. With a grimace, Noctis tried and failed to do the mental math in his head on whether or not it could be signs of an upcoming rut. Gods, he hoped not… ruts sucked without an omega and he was still unbelievably single and constantly advised not to entertain such thoughts until his father had selected a suitor.

Noctis padded groggily into the living room and paused. Something was… off. But his living room looked the same as normal, and Ignis was acting somewhat normal he supposed, though green eyes were lingering on him from the kitchen as if the older man had seen something uncanny.

“…Iggy?” Noctis felt a little embarrassed having the man’s undivided attention like that and with that… expression. Ut at the same time it was almost comforting as well. He couldn’t put his finger on it but something about it was almost alluring.

And his smell. It smelled Like Ignis all over the place. “Did you… skip taking a shower or something?”

Blunt nails scratched an itch along his collarbone as he approached the kitchen counter, eyes trained on his advisor. Each step made the room grow just a little bit hotter and he was beginning to get worried that perhaps it was more than an upcoming rut and in fact a high fever. “…You smell… really strong today.”

The cramps were becoming more... difficult to deal with. At some point, his vision blurs enough that he’s gasping with the effort to stand, hunched over the countertop briefly. As it is, the bacon burns slightly, but at the very least Noct hadn’t seemed to mind too much in the past. It is meat, after all, and---

He pauses. Straightens. Noct’s awake, he realizes, and it feels as if every sense becomes wholly attuned to the other’s presence the moment he makes his way into the kitchen. He looks--- delightfully drowsy, Ignis realizes, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He has an---urge he’s not felt in such a long, long time that he’s trained himself to wholly ignore, has been able to ignore with the blockers he’s been taking, but they seem to be-- malfunctioning today. But, gods, why?

He rips his gaze away from the prince and focuses on breathing instead. Inhale. Exhale. He hears Noct come closer, and every fiber of his being feels as if it’s on fire with the need to be close to Noct, to actually scent him...

He’s stepped closer to Noct in turn without realizing it and, as soon as he does, he turns away. It takes every muscle to do so, it even makes his hands tremble with the effort, but he manages it. Gods, he needs to get away from here. He can’t let himself succumb to-- this. Not with Noct around. Never with Noct around. 

“I know you- Wait you…” His brows scrunch together and he stares for a moment, confused. “You want… You want to kiss me?” He looked off, frustrated with a blush forming on his cheeks.

He exhaled, otherwise he may have exploded from all the tension he carried. “We’ve always been together. You’re my oldest friend. It’s hard… It’s hard not to like you. How do you ignore someone who’s always there? Someone who always takes care of you. Someone who’s so kind and compassionate and patient…”

“I never thought of you… for your title. First and foremost, you’ve been my friend, someone I can rely on, and, well… I was always thinking about you everyday. I fell deeper each time I saw you, and-”

“And I knew… you would only scold me if I told you the truth…”

“Ah...”

Years of conditioning himself to prevent this very moment falls apart around his ears and for a moment, he’s left speechless because not only do his feelings for the other return full force, but they seem to be profoundly returned and he feels his heart ache for opportunities lost, for a path that could have been. 

“Noct, please...” he utters softly, trying to get him to stop somehow, because each word is both a blessing and a curse he doesn’t know whether he wishes to hear. It is damning, after all, considering their positions. Doesn’t Noct know that?  “I know you’re a good person to look further than what I do for you. Of course, my loyalties extend more than what my job is, because... well.”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course. I don‘t know what else I expected you to say.” He sounds exasperated, but there is some fondness there. “It… can be nice to be cared about, too.”